My husband is a mans man, so I have started failing to remember he does have emontions. He’s actually very sensitive but only my mother in law and I know this. Yesterday he had a horrible day, I mean one thing after another, it just wouldn’t stop. See my husbands the type of guy that wants to please others before himself and sometimes... most of the time people don’t see that. He bought a new gun about a week ago and was beyond excited, all he wanted to do was shoot it. Well, yesterday being his only day off, he went to the range with 2 family members, payed for it all, but sat behind the yellow line for basically the entire time, didn’t get to shoot his new gun once. That made me so sad.. I’m still so sad over it, I knew how excited he was, he planned going to the gun range the day he got it, he couldn’t wait. He had to pretend he was okay and having a great time, when he wasn’t. Idk writing this even makes ME tear up.. this man is the strongest, most amazing man I have ever met. Seeing him let down like that makes me so sad, so angry. He spent a lot of his hard earned money for other people to have fun. On top of that, both of his best friends beytrade him in the same month. That, I saw coming. I didn’t like one of them because I felt as if he used my husband, and the other was just fishy. These things really hurt him, and it’s hard seeing him be sad, or having a bad day when I really can’t fix anything and I wish I could! I wish I went with him to the gun range he could’ve shot all day and all night, -it would’ve sucked for me and I’d probably start complaining about an hour in- but, he still would’ve been able to clean his new gun at the end of the night. Selfish people sicken me, the worst part is they don’t even know how they made my sweet guy feel... it sucks!

Sometimes I feel as if I’m the only one that longs for a baby. I find myself getting jealous when women announce their pregnancies, yes I’m happy for them.. but deep down I want it to be me. When will it be my turn? Some women get pregnant so easily, and some it’s really hard, and others... they can’t. Which bracket do I fall into? It scares, it’s obviously not the getting pregnant easily one. I know I am fertile, but my only pregnancy failed, and it’s been extremely hard ever since to get pregnant. Since my husband and I have met, we’ve been beyond reckless, and haven’t had any success. One day I’ll be a mommy, but I really don’t think I can wait!! Ugh, why do I have to be so obsessed? Being obsessive over it hurts way more!!

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three times IM STUPID!!! Not happening, not today!

Summer nails !!!

— N/A

—Jodi Picoult