slurred words
“…Fuck.” It was still… so hard to think about Nate. And Oz, at least, could not talk of Otto without his older brother’s shadow lingering over him.
“Growing up, Otto was just ‘Nathaniel’s little brother’ to me. I liked him well enough but I… I knew how Nate felt. Maybe I was the few people who put Nate on the Ballantyne pedistal as opposed to Otto. Maybe that was my appeal.” ugh. “– I remember Nathaniel would grumble when his parents would force him to let Otto tag along with us but I never minded. It’s funny how you forget things from your childhod until something random happens – like when you’ve been drinking and you’re sentimental – and everything comes flooding back. It’s not like Otto and I talk much now but I still remember… the weight of him on my back. I mean, it made sense for a 5-year-old to get tired trekking through the woods, and Nate definitely wasn’t going to carry him. I didn’t mind the piggy back rides. It was always just me at home, so maybe I enjoyed having Otto around sometimes, even if he’d complain or whine or fall asleep on my back. It’s like how I felt with Inseong, I guess, like I had a little brother for the day…
I should see how Otto’s doing.”














