#march22nd

Time: Early morning, 22nd of March Place: House of Bones Status: Closed, for @efachittock

Edgar had been mulling over the List all night through, trying to come up with a possible plan, but his mind refused to cooperate. Every word he jotted down seemed awry, the light refused to be quite right, and he kept having to turn around to see if the door was closed or open. So eventually he decided to take a break and make some breakfast.

Time: March 22nd Place: House of Bones Status: Closed, for @marywithoutthelamb

It was an old family broom, Bran had found in the cupboard, but it was enough. It helped her race high, high into the air, leaving the vast House of Bones behind, making it look small and unimportant, as unimportant as its residents, their stories, their thoughts, their pain. And it was still not high enough. 

She raced, against herself and the blood on her hands, raced against her cousin and her father, raced against the thinning air in her lungs, and then -- then she dropped. 

Dropped from fifty meters, free fall, letting the rush consume her as she kept her eyes raised to the sky and the possibilities of going even further, even farther away, not knowing how far the ground was still away and refusing to check. It was coming closer, as it always did, as those people had drawn her back in again and again over the last few years. Like an elastic band, the more she struggled, the faster she was pulled back to the ground.

And then she caught herself. Grabbed the broom, swung herself on it and brought herself to a halt. Wrists aching, lungs collapsing, chest and feet pressing into the wood, then, finally, the wind stopped; she flew still. She opened her eyes and saw the ground but a couple of meters away underneath her.

I never post anything on Tumblr anymore and i know i’m too old to be still in love with the band and their type of music to begin with....

Buuuuut I’ve always been meaning to write a tribute of some sort about the band and how they affected me and stuff like that for a very long time, and this opportunity seemed fit as it’s been 5 years since the breakup, and 10 years since I’ve known the band.

(Holy shit I just realized it’s been 10 years and this post is going to be so long i should just publish a book instead of posting it here. Please bear with.)

So the story of my journey with the band throws us back to the year 2008. I was 11(if i’m not mistaken... man i was YOUNG!!!), very unsatisfied with contemporary pop culture because i felt like nothing they said was relevant to me(Hang the blessed DJ amiright ;)).

Then when i was searching online for new songs to listen to, BAM! This song with a long-ass title caught my eyes. What do you mean ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’? That doesn’t sound ominous at all? Might as well click on it?

Oh man, the feelings i’ve felt when i saw that damn music video.... This man with short white hair looked so gorgeous and charismatic i fell right away in love. And from then i would constantly marble at that 5-min video every time i got to use the internet.

Not just the music video tho. I had to get the lyrics and when i did it was mindblowing. Well to be honest, it was pretty dark for an 11-year-old alright. But still, no song until then rang as true and sincere as WTTBP. Back then i wasn’t emo or anything like that at all; i was positive, full of hope, relatively rose-colored etc, etc,... But i still saw & felt the darkness in the world we’re living in — i just wasn’t quite sure how to relate, being super young and all.

Then, WTTBP was describing all that so poetically and beautifully, unlike other bullshit phony songs talking about how their lovers left them and how they’re planning on cold-hearted petty revenge. Ugh god, i still get the chills from their lyrics after all these years, if not even more than when the band was still a band (“And when we’re gone we want you all to know we’ll carry on,” like seriously? This line is more relevant than ever before).

Also, the song was not just dark and depressive and so realistic. It was also giving us hope and somewhere to belong to in this dark, deep-dug void that we can’t ever escape. I felt like i finally found somebody that i can talk to(i mean not physically of course but u know what i mean), somebody that understands me and who could put down words to what i’ve always felt.

Funny thing, until then i thought i hated rock because i was sure i hated “loud” music. But i found out, thanks to WTTBP, that rock (back then, at least) could be the most sincere and purest genre i could ever relate to. After i got kinda tired of listening to WTTBP all day every day for like straight two months i started to expand my boundaries to other MCR songs and other bands.

So yes, it’s very safe to say that WTTBP was a strong turning point in my whole life. So I know it might sound very cheesy and corny but since i’ve found WTTBP totally by luck it’s been my fav song of all time and it always will be. No matter how popular or overplayed it is.

(I now realize that numbering and categorizing my story would be more efficient... but nope sorry that kinda trick is too new to my writing style)

The very next song i listened to was Famous Last Words(or was it I Don’t Love You...? Sorry i can’t keep track it was 10 yrs ago ok). Again, the whole magic that happened when i listened to WTTBP happened again, with all the crazy-eyed Gerard’s weird and chaotic performance in the music video, the lyrics that give you chills and residue feelings of waking up from a long, intense dream you had only for 5 minutes in real life....

FLW is my second favorite, if i haaaaaave to pick one —after WTTBP each song has different, but equal amount of value to me so it’s hard to rank them in order and i’ve been refusing to do that for a long period of time— because personally it is this song that always comforts me.

Some people say FLW is the most hopeful MCR song because of the whole ‘i am not afraid to keep on living’ stuff and i do agree. But it’s a lot more than that. What i value the most about this song is that it’s the grand finale of the long, tough black parade journey. It is what should have been a ‘happy ending’ if the album was a tale. But FLW is not happy nor an ending. MCR and the audience go through tough, hurting-to-death times together throughout the album. There are ups(um maybe not) & downs, we scream, we laugh, we dance, we sing, we cry and plead with the band for an hour.

In that sense, TBP gives us a chance to look back at our lives and actually confront all the shitty things that make us vulnerable, as a mind of a dying patient, Penance and/or therapy style. And when this bumpy journey comes to an end, we are met by this burning road, flames soaring high in the sky that is FLW, and we scream for the last time like it’s some sort of cleansing. The fadeout of the song at the end is the killer in that sense. It’s not like any other motivational bullshit “telling” us how we should be more positive and “look at the bright side.” After all we go through during the album, we get to voluntarily decide to ‘keep on living.’

Life is still trash, you still suck, the problems that had been torturing you didn’t go away, and you still have to face the reality. But that’s okay. Because we’ve taken our time to step back to figure out what waits ahead, and to look back at bygones. We’ve confronted them, and said our goodbyes. Now it’s time to start fresh.

I would blast out the TBP album every time i got stuck, with my depression, anxiety and my shitty little problems. After i listen to the whole album my head would be so clear and calm i didn’t feel like i could do anything and achieve anything i wanted, but at least i felt comforted, understood and rested. And from there i would start again. TBP and mcr literally saved me from going insane at the time i hit my rock bottom. I love the album dearly and it will always have a special place in my heart.

The band has also influenced so much regarding my artsy side. I don’t draw or anything but i care deeply about writing. I’ve read shit tons and always written bits and pieces about anything and everything since i was a little kid. I can’t say i’m good at it or anything... but i appreciate good writings and i try very hard to do my best when i write. I would die without it.

I was shocked when i first saw the band’s lyrics. I mentioned this earlier on, but anyway the vagueness, the metaphors,... everything about it was just another lever for me back then. I was young, yes, so i didn’t have much of a developed “writing style” or anything even similar to that. But i knew right away that that is what i should be aiming for. And believe me when i say i had tried so hard to write like Gerard(i still can’t tho. Gerard’s writing is the best).

I would right a whole novel based on their songs trying to be more metaphorical and sophisticated just like the lyrics. I wrote song lyrics, poems, any genre i felt like writing. It was one of the most effective and therapeutic creative outlets(i ultimately learned how to play bass & guitar but i was never good at it so) for me to get away from reality and responsibilities. I’m still experimenting with my writings and i wouldn’t say it’s exactly like how G writes, but i’m on my way of perfecting it and i now almost take pride in them.

Let’s get into.... Let’s say, Early Sunsets over Monroeville, for example (or Demolition Lovers in the same context.) I couldn’t understand the lyrics until i looked it up online later on and found out it’s about Dawn of the Dead. But after that it felt so fitting and wonderful and hopeless romantic since I’ve always loved the vampire metaphor early MCR adopted(I have a tattoo about it actually). I’m personally a cold-blooded reptile and don’t care about shit but for a very long time “I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight” had been my no1 tattoo design(changed my mind to go with VWNHY). I mean... that’s just way more sincere and abstract and beautiful and selfless than just saying i love you so much, so to speak.

I can seriously go on and on about how the band has affected me i still have so many stories to tell. But i think i’ve already took up to much space and (your) time i’ll just wrap it up with some other stuff.

No other band like MCR would have made me who i am now. I have always been the sensitive kid so i never understood how big rock stars would brag about how they got so many women and abuse their power and fame. MCR never let me down in that sense. I’m pretty sure at least Gerard is as sensitive as i am, if not more, and the fact that he didn’t even like to joke about those kinda stuff and how he would blush and/or didn’t know how to answer when awkward topics pop up during interviews always made me feel like i could trust these guys, and i never stopped believing.

Even way before feminism or LGBTQ+ issues were ‘a thing’ MCR was never afraid to discuss and talk about those stuff. I literally grew up being educated by them. I might be more into other issues that G doesn’t seem to talk about that much these days, but he’s the reason why i am so invested in social rights and equity and stuff like that in the first place. G taught me the right way to see the world. I’ve learned so much from that guy. And of course from MCR in general.

Aaaaand they inspire me so much so that i might draw from time to time when i’m devastated. I’m not a very creative person. But MCR always persuaded me to be and that was always so helpful in so many ways. They encourage me to be a better person.

I like to think that MCR didn’t just ‘save’ my life. They helped me build one of my own. For that i’ll be forever grateful.

I hope y’all spend today productively. Keep alive.

So I did three covers today and uploaded them to my YouTube Channel. My voice is not the best but I hope you like them anyway.

https://youtu.be/G2BzdL2E4bA

https://youtu.be/DJe8iyPeacA

March 22nd