#manic week

Just another Manic Tuesday

Just another Manic Wednesday

God help me, I have a feeling I know what Thursday has to offer

Apologies for being a wee bit MIA and potentially keeping you all in suspense...

I PASSED MY VIVA WITH MINOR CORRECTIONS!!! 🥂🎉🍾

What’s more, I really enjoyed it and felt a little disappointed once it was over.

It has been a crazy manic week of having my viva on Monday, then straight into four days of managing a job on site Tue-Fri and then moving to Scotland this weekend (!!!) and so I haven’t even had a chance to acknowledge this outcome, let alone celebrate or write about it. 

I will write a more long form post at some point when I and all the things in my life have settled a little. We are currently surrounded by unpacked boxes and new beginnings and it’s hard to find time to process it all. ✨

Photo: For now, here is my tired, but extremely happy face in the pub straight after my viva...

Thank you for being on this journey with me. ❤

Pizza Delivery/Pizza Face 2 - 4 August 2017 When it’s late, you’re tired, hungry, headachy, facing a mountain of bills, and are home alone after a crazy drama-filled day…a pizza delivery hits the spot. Guess who did NOT get any slipped crusts? Yes, Mitzy. Mitzy of the sneaking a block of dark chocolate when I nodded off fame. Mitzy who cost me a $230 trip to the vet for induced vomiting and forced charcoal consumption. Yeah, that Mitzy. 🍫🐶🍕

I don’t often say TGIF but…TGIF! Monday was manic in the exercise clinic. I left home two minutes late which swelled to 10 minutes because of traffic. I walked into the clinic to find two prac students waiting for me - thank goodness! All the high needs clients presented at once along with several first and second-timers.

Wednesday was the same except that I’d developed a neck tension headache on Tuesday that wasn’t responding to paracetomol or stretches. We had a moment of drama when one client had an adverse reaction to new medication and crumpled into my arms as I stepped forward to question her.

I got home to learn My Girl had had a slow-speed but expensive prang in her car; then opened the mail to reveal council rates, and car insurances and licensing bills - bye-bye next month’s wages. I plopped on to the couch with a bar of Lindt dark chocolate and a cup of tea, ate two squares and nodded off… When I woke up, the chocolate was gone; telltale foil littered the floor. Yep Mitzy had stealthily gobbled the lot!

Thursday was great! The clinic was very busy but flowing; my headache receded; The Husb got back from (warm) Darwin; the whole family came over for dinner & we played First Around The World afterwards. I have segued Dry July into August and am into my 34th alcohol-free day. My children & friends would fall over laughing if they read this (because, ‘oh you dont’ say?’), but last night I realised I can be such a high-on-life extrovert, that in giddy social situations, no-one would even know I was sober! 😂

It has been a manic week, hence the delay in my blog post. My trip to Scotland was totally worth it as I finally managed to collect more service reservoir material, which is now on its way to the US to undergo a variety of analyses in a weeks time or so! I spent approximately 60% of the weekend sleeping, which I’m super grateful to myself for as the last three days I have been doing lab work, data analysis, sample shipment arrangement, preparing for my trip to the US, and answering questions as a panellist on a Chinese online community network called ScienceNet. The latter involved myself and five other volunteers answering questions from whoever wanted to write in (mostly undergraduate and graduate students) on research career related topics. I thought that it would be useful to share the questions I was asked (in bold) and my answers (in italics) on here. I have had some brilliant and heart-warming feedback from ScienceNet, so I hope you also find them useful.

Q1. Do you think female PhD students face different stressors as compared to their male counterparts?

I think that both male and female PhD students face the same stressors in terms of workload. However, I also think that female PhD students face EXTRA stressors. These include sexism in the workplace, which unfortunately still exists, and especially sexism if your PhD involves manual labour. For example, as an engineer, I have a lot of fieldwork with contractors and I am usually treated differently as a woman in that the men on site tend to think of me as someone more fragile and in need of assistance. It can be very frustrating. I have also been in situations where there are no female bathrooms at some of the sites I’ve visited, for example at water treatment works. It is also more difficult for women to get the appropriate protective wear e.g. hard hats, high visibility jackets, steel toecap boots etc. in their size.

I also believe that women are expected to dress well and look nice at all times and especially at work related events. There is a lot less pressure on men to do this. Furthermore, it is not taken into consideration how hard work can be for a woman when she is on her period, especially for those who suffer from conditions such as endometriosis. I think that the world is changing for the better in terms of gender equality. However, we are not there yet and so it is very important to always tell someone if you feel like you are being treated unfairly and express your concerns to a staff member you trust or a student support officer. Just don’t suffer in silence.

Q2. As a PhD student, how did you manage to balance your study and personal life?

This can be very hard to do, and even if you do find a balance, it is difficult and unrealistic to maintain it at all times. However, one of the biggest lessons I quickly learned is how important self-care is. A PhD requires a lot of brainwork and can be really damaging on you mental and physical health if you push yourself too hard, which in turn will negatively affect the quality of your work. If you practice self-care, a balance between your personal and work life will naturally follow. Therefore, here are some of the ways in which I personally do this:

Spend time with animals and in nature - Honestly, if I had to choose just one bit of advice, it would be this. Animals are the definition of joy, and being in nature always reminds me how beautiful the world can be.

Sleep - Getting enough sleep makes my anxiety more manageable, my mood better, and means I have more energy to deal with what life has to throw at me. Don’t listen to how much sleep you “should” have, instead listen to your body and work with it. Personally, I aim for at least 8 hours a night.

Routine - Something that can be tough to do because a lot of PhDs do not follow a specific schedule, but trying my best to stick to a routine makes me feel calm and prepared for what’s ahead. It also means that when it comes to taking rest days, I can take full use of them.

Read - I use books as a form of escape from reality, typically reading either before bed or in the morning before work. It helps take my mind off the stresses that clutter my brain.

Exercise, eat healthy, and drink plenty of water - I know you’ve heard it all before, but here it is again. It works.

Focus on genuine priorities - Procrastination/dedicating your time to non-essential tasks are your no.1 enemies. PhD’s are extremely unpredictable and you have to try and be ahead of the game or you risk falling too far behind. So make sure you know exactly what your priorities are and treat them as such.

You have to learn to say ‘no’ - This will probably be something you’re not used to or are comfortable doing, but I have learned from personal experience that this is literally the most important thing when it comes to  looking after yourself and avoiding burnout.

Remember that your PhD is your work not your life - As hard as that may be.

Q3. The PhD program in China usually lasts four years (but many students spend longer than this to get their degree). Is the situation different from this in Western countries? Do you have any advice for PhD students on what career choices they should make when they’re no longer “young” upon graduation?

The situation is different in the UK, but very similar in the US. In the UK, a PhD usually lasts 3 years, but a student may complete it (with or without funding) in 3.5 years. Sometimes, there are exceptions, for example, some PhD’s can be completed in 5 years, but this is VERY rare, with funding usually capped at the latest at 4 years. Career choices are very personal, so I cannot advise on that. I will however say that age is not a reflection of ones abilities. I think the biggest decision that a PhD student needs to make early on is whether they want to stay in academia or go into industry. This will change the trajectory of their PhD, for example, if they don’t want to stay in academia, there is less pressure to publish papers etc. but a higher requirement to have some work experience in industry.

Q4. What if my research topic diverges from my supervisor?

This shouldn’t happen as your supervisor is on that project because the topic of your PhD is what they specialise in. However, differences can arise in how research questions are approached e.g., your supervisor may feel you should do one type of experiment and you may disagree. To overcome this, talk to your supervisor about your concerns and provide evidence to back up your points.

Q5. Is it a big burden for PhD students in the United States to afford the tuition? I’ve heard that supervisors may pay part of the tuition or even daily expenses. Is that true?

I am not personally from the US, but do know a little bit about how their system works. Usually a PhD supervisor covers tuition costs, which are approximately $15,000 per year. The student is also provided with a stipend to live on, which is between $22,000 - $30,000 (for the duration of the PhD) depending on the institution. Some PhDs are self-funded, but most follow the structure mentioned above. A lot of PhD students will pick up tuition style work to earn some extra cash.

Q6. When doing a PhD is western countries, do you have any suggestions for choosing schools and supervisors? Any advice on something we should be careful with when contacting supervisors for the first time? Are there any qualities and traits of candidates that supervisors may prefer?

I would choose a university that specialises in your field and is ranked in the top 100 universities for that country. For me, as I do a research based PhD, it was important that my chosen university was part of a Russel Group.

It is hard to predict what a potential supervisor will be like, but it may be helpful to contact some of the students that are already supervised by that person to get an idea of what it is like to work with them. It is also helpful to read some of their published work.

When contacting supervisors for the first time make sure that you have very good grammar and keep your email/letter short as they are very busy people and are unlikely to read long pieces of text.

A supervisor needs to know that you can handle yourself in difficult situations, are reliable, punctual, hardworking, and in some way unique. You also have to show how passionate you are about the research you want to do and why.

Q7. What factors need to be taken into consideration when choosing your destination countries to do a PhD?

It is difficult for me to answer this question as I stayed in my home country for my PhD, but I guess it depends on how far you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone. It is very easy to feel isolated in a new country, especially if you do not know the language of that country well. If having a community of people from your home country is important to you, make sure you research this before choosing where you want to go.

Q8. If my goal is to publish papers in top journals and get real world experience, do you have any tips for me on choosing supervisors?

At the end of the day, you will be the one writing your research paper, so I do not think your choice of supervisor is too important here. It helps if your supervisor has published plenty of papers in respected journals, but it is more important that your supervisor can find the time to review your work and advise you on how to improve, rather than being super famous.

Q9. Any suggestions on improving the efficiency of your research?

Focus on genuine priorities - Procrastination/dedicating your time to non-essential tasks are your no.1 enemies. PhD’s are extremely unpredictable and you have to try and be ahead of the game or you risk falling too far behind. So make sure you know exactly what your priorities are and treat them as such.

To do lists and GANTT charts are lifesavers – On difficult days, refer to these to reorient yourself and stay on track. Make sure they are always up to date, kept neat, and, most importantly, realistic.

Find a balance between feeling terrified and apathetic, and stupid and self-assured - PhD’s are terrifying, which I appreciate can be exhausting and can lead to feeling apathetic. However, apathy is both a blessing and a curse. It may make you feel calmer and more able, but it will not motivate you to try harder and do better. The same applies for feeling self-assured; yes, you are clearly clever for getting this far and you should acknowledge and celebrate that, but feeling stupid pushes us to seek knowledge, which is what science is all about.

Rely on your supervisors for help - THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. You DO NOT have to do everything alone. Ask questions, talk to them about your problems, and seek their advice. If they make you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or make themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and stand your ground with your superiors, they are only human, just like you, and if you feel like they are misguiding or misunderstanding you, tell them. This is your PhD, not anybody else’s.

Q10. I’ve heard that the PhD tuition is very expensive in western countries. Is it common that PhD students do part-time jobs to make ends meet?

I can only speak for the UK, and in the UK, this is not true. Yes, tuition costs are high but these are typically covered by a scholarship or something alike. PhD students are paid enough to live relatively comfortably. However, most PhD students will pick up some extra work within the university e.g. tuition to get some bonus cash; this is personal preference. It also depends on the location of your university, for example, studying and living in London is much more expensive than some other places in the UK.

Q11. Do all universities in the US cover tuition? How can I find out these details? What happens if I don't get university funding? Are there other options for me?

I am not from the US, so I cannot say for sure, but I do know a little bit about how their system works in general. Usually a PhD supervisor covers tuition costs, which are approximately $15,000 per year. The student is also provided with a stipend to live on, which is between $22,000 - $30,000 depending on the institution. Some PhDs are self-funded, but most follow the structure mentioned above.

To find out exact details for your university of interest, contact the university directly. I do not know about alternative options other than there may be some scholarships that you can apply for, but these are usually highly competitive.

Q12. Can you please evaluate the influence of your senior fellow students on you during your doctoral study?

It has been helpful to see senior fellow students progress through their PhDs and share their experiences and the lessons they have learned. They also tend to be more clued up on the way things work at your institution etc., which is helpful. However, because PhDs are so unique and every students approach to their PhD is different, it is very hard to be influenced much by others doing something completely different.

Q13. What was the difference between the focus/weightage on dissertations and papers when you did your PhD?  

You do not do dissertations as a PhD student in the UK, just your thesis. However, there are two main types of thesis style, you can do either a classic thesis or thesis by papers, if it is the latter then you have to write and publish a lot more papers than the former.

Q14. If you could go back to when you started your PhD, what advice would you give yourself?

Do little things before they become too hard.

Write as much as you can as early as you can.

Focus on genuine priorities.

Practice self-care.

Q15. How should one deal with the relationship with one’s supervisors? Do PhD students in your country have a specific way of managing this relationship?

Supervisors are only human, just like you, and so they can be very different people. Some prefer a stricter, professional relationship, but from my experience, most are happy to go out for coffee with you and have a less formal rapport.

Your supervisor will be your no.1 support system throughout your PhD, so learn what they are like, find common ground, and do not be afraid to have a professional friendship with them. Your supervisor is there to help carry you through the tough phases, make sure they like you.

However, remember, if they make you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or make themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that.

Q16. Would you let your children do a PhD in the future? Especially if they are girls?

I would let my children follow whatever career path they wanted to choose and I see absolutely no reason why women (not girls) should be advised against doing a PhD.

Q17. Why do so many postgraduate students’ superiors want them to go onto do a PhD?

I do not know if this is necessarily true in the UK. A student is only advised to do a PhD if their lecturers/supervisors/senior researchers believe that they have great potential to complete a PhD, especially if they supervised them during a Masters research project. However, in the UK students are not pushed to do something they are not interested in doing.

Q18. In China, PhD students are required to publish SCI papers before graduation. Is it the same situation in your country? Or do you have any other requirements?

No, you do not have to publish SCI papers before graduation in the UK, although it is preferable if you can. There are no other requirements of this kind that I am aware of.

Q19. I did a Master of Arts degree in China, and then studied English in the US for a year. I want to do a PhD abroad in the future, but haven't figured out what to study. Would it be possible for you to give me some advice on this matter?

Only choose a discipline that you know you are passionate about as PhD’s are tough and it is easy to lose love for your project. Also think about what you’re good at, for example, I like physics, but I would struggle to do a PhD in that discipline. Aside from that, I cannot advise as choosing a career is very personal.

Q20. What would you consider as “hot” subject areas for PhD programs in your country? (please specify country)

There is no such thing really in the UK. I guess any of the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) degrees are quite popular, and medicine.

Q21. I find that I always end up procrastinating while doing research. What should I do? Are there any good suggestions for improvement? I feel that the pressure is immense.

Trust me; everybody struggles with procrastination in one way or another. However, my best bit of advice is to treat your research like a job, which to be honest, it is. You wouldn’t procrastinate at work, would you?

Furthermore, try your best to separate work and social life. For instance, I try hard not to not work on weekends because that way I feel refreshed and motivated to get back to work on Monday.

You can also create a reward system for yourself, for example, if you work 8 hours a day Monday-Friday you can buy yourself a small present, or if you finish an essay, you can treat yourself to an extra day off, that sort of thing.

I appreciate that the pressure of doing research is really high, but the more you delay a task and the more you procrastinate, the worse it will get.  

Q22. If there is an academic dispute with the supervisor or if the supervisor is not happy with the student’s working progress, does the supervisor have the right to suspend the student’s living expenses or send him/her home?

Absolutely not. If your supervisor makes you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or makes themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. The only time you can be suspended from your PhD is if you fail to meet certain requirements set by the University itself, NOT the supervisor.

Q23. When applying to a PhD program, would you prefer a  university with a good reputation, e.g. ranking 200-500 globally, or would you consider the supervisors’ experience and research in the industry as more important?

I would consider the research topic as a priority, because it is very easy to lose passion for your PhD and want to quit when things get tough, but if you believe in the value of the research that you’re doing, it is easier to get through those difficult periods.

Following this, I would consider the University, simply because it is a lot easier to find out what the reputation of an institution is like, compared to a specific supervisor. Furthermore, supervisors may change throughout the course of your PhD.

Q24. I don't know why my supervisor keeps persuading me to study for a PhD degree. I personally prefer to start working after finishing my Master's degree. Should I refuse my supervisor even though he is insisting?

You should definitely refuse to do a PhD if it is not something that you want to do.

Q25. What do you think is the most important quality you need for being a PhD?

There are many. However, if I had to choose one, you have to be excellent at self-motivation and time-management.

Q26. When the research topic is finalized, how to design the research?

Read  literature from the field of study, converse with your supervisors, and just start. There is never a perfect plan for how to do research, it is all about trial and error.

Q27. PHD students are invited to dinner by their tutors in China. It's said that in foreign countries, they usually go dutch between PhD students and tutors in such a situation. And that graduate students have to attend a tutor's dinner at their own expense. Is that so?

No, this is not the case in the UK. Here, supervisors or your project budget should cover the costs of such meals/events.

Q28. Is it true that PhD students must follow the supervisor’s instruction exactly? If the process does not work out well, the supervisor can suspend the student’s scholarship?

Absolutely not. If your supervisor makes you feel inferior, uncomfortable, stupid, or makes themselves unavailable to you, contact your student support office/r, because a supervisor should NEVER do that. Furthermore, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions and stand your ground with your superiors, they are only human, just like you, and if you feel like they are misguiding or misunderstanding you, tell them. This is your PhD, not anybody else’s.

The only time a student can be suspended from their PhD is if they fail to meet certain requirements set by the University itself, NOT the supervisor.

Q29. I am doing doctoral joint training in the UK, and I plan to return to China next year after graduation. What do you think would be a better choice? Hunting for a job after I get the PhD or the continuation of overseas postgraduates studies?

Unfortunately, I cannot answer this question as the choice of any future career decisions should be your own.

Q30. For subjects like branding, public relations, is it necessary to study for a PhD degree in foreign countries?

As someone whose career is not related to any of these fields, I cannot answer this question. Your best bet is to contact companies/institutions in this field directly.

That is all for this week folks! Have a spooktacular Halloween! 👻

Photo: You’re welcome. Source: Pinterest.

Come join me by the fire.

It started with a light disagreement with my housemate about how to manage the heat and temperature of the house overnight. He would prefer I use space heaters, and I was tapping into the propane furnaces. It was a minor thing, but it sent me. Worry over my housing situation, worry over my own inner compass and whether I was just a fuck up…total goddamned spiral.

I’ve started chatting with a few LOVELY young men over on BlueSky (and fuck Elon to hell and back, if I do say so myself) which has really both kicked up some old emotions that I thought I had processed regarding my latest break up back in April, but also reminded me that I *do* have worth and value. Still, it’s so fucking weird that half the world, it seems, just floats through unbothered, sexy and cute and all the rest. Lots of conversation around the burden of being a sensitive person, such as myself, has kicked up some old dust, for sure. In the best and most boner-ific way possible, but still.

My radiator in my jeep CRACKED while I was away from the ranch, and sent me into a mild state of panic while I figured out what to do. JB Weld quick repair got me back up the mountain, but now I have a massive repair to do, on my own. I have the skills, and the tools, but my patience is a wildcard.

I got to meet with my new doctor, and get a whole load of baseline tests done on my body. From sexual health and STIs, to testosterone, to other vital blood information, liver and kidney function, and my cholesterol. Everything is fine. Especially my testosterone, which is at the very high end of normal, which, tbh, shocked me. My cholesterol, though, is back up in territory I dont’ like it to be, and that has, once again, sent me spiraling. Why? Because I’m a fucking health and wellness coach and I should know better. This should not be a fucking thing in my life.

BUT HERE IT IS.

I don’t know if it’s just my genetics (mom’s side: all the men have heart attacks by age 50, some die; dad’s side: all high cholesterol, high BP, some Type II diabetes, obesity) or if it’s just a me-thing. Whatever the case, I’m pissed off at myself, and I know that’s not doing me any good. Tonight, I’m just tired, I’ve been doing my best with the fucking election but that’s been hard to manage and contain within me.

So, yeah. A cup of tea and this fire and some music and some puppy kisses.

After a long, grueling week of doing a lot of this:

I intend to: 

And stay down and out ALLLLLLL weekend: