#mandoa'de

I don't know where you are o'r oyu'baat, but I'm in the States & here today is Father's Day. And, on this of all days, I often wonder the type of person I would have been had I been raised with a Mando father.

The differences extend far beyond basic things like living in a spacefaring society, surrounded by beings of all different species, or having access to technologies barely imagined here. Those are all factors, sure, but it's the day to day, in the karyai kind of things that would seem to make the bigger differences. The structure of an aliik, the expectations of buire -regardless of gender, in most cases- the bajur of a Mandalorian child, all are factors that would have made a very different person than I am here in veman’oya.

"Elek. Ner buir...kaysh bajuri ni" - little Jango to his (soon to be) adoptive buir, Jaster

Father's day ads & cards and things always go on about "dad, you're the best!" or "you were always there for me". "I remember how you taught me..." Yeah, that wasn't really the dynamic we had.

My dad didn't like me much when we were all younger. Now that I'm older, I can get where some of it came from; my parents had me when the ink was barely dry on their high school diplomas, I was sick -a lot- thus my sister was a lot easier, less expensive, less trouble. I get all that, as well as a few other observations & speculations back in the day that -were I in his place- would have left me a little salty about my path in life too. But, there were large swaths of things that were just him being a jerk, selfish & angry. It took me a long time to realize that all the stuff he dumped on me as a kid, things I'm still climbing out from under in some ways, were a him problem. I was always made to feel it was me. I was always the problem, I deserved things that I got (or didn't get) & the shabby way I was treated.

Ragnar & Paz Vizla

I'm not saying all Mando dads are perfect, or all real world dads are monsters. I'm saying that, in the broad view, I think I'd have turned out a much better person growing up Mando'ad with a buir than as I did with my dad. Because the mindset & expectations of Mandalorian culture are different from our own.

Kal Skirata & his boys; Prudii, Kom'rk, Mereel, Jaing, Ordo & A'den

A common phrase in Mando'a is "Gar taldin ni jaon'yc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaasla". It translates to 'nobody cares who your parent was, only the parent you'll be'. Family, being a buir, and raising kids are so significant, hold so much kando to the Mandalorian mindset that it's in the Resol'nare. Think of that a second, your culture sets aside a mere six crucial tenets that are required to be one of your kind and family & educating your kids are two of them. Defending & providing for the family, educating yourself & your kids, training them to survive, to do better, to always keep growing.

Coming from a society where a lot of dads get plaudits for "babysitting" their own kids for an hour, this mindset is kind of revolutionary to me.

Arlic Wren with his wife Ursa & their kids Sabine & Tristan

Mando buire take their kids out into the galaxy with them around eight years old & start training their ad'ik to survive, to fight, to learn what they need to gotal'u jate'kara o'r oyu'baat. They spend time, years even, with their kids, see to their well being, encourage them, make them better. Mando dads are proud of their kids. I wish more kids here in the real world got that. Sure, there are osik dads in SW, and amazing ones here. But, the bar for what constitutes a good parent here seems a heck of a lot lower than it does there.

Happy Father's Day to the dads across the galaxy. And "oya!" to all the buire doing the job right.

And to those who can't, won't, or don't want to celebrate, I hope you find/have found your chosen aliit, have learned and grown on your own. And know that some internet stranger far, far away is proud of who you've become & what you've been through.

Aliit ori'shya taldin. K'oyacyii, anade.

Buire - parents

O'r oyu'baat - in the universe

Karyai - main living area of a Mando home

Aliit - clan, family

Bajur - education

Veman’oya - real life

"Elek. Ner buir...kaysh bajuri ni" - Yes. My dad taught me

Gar taldin ni jaon'yc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaasla - Nobody cares who your parent was, only the parent you'll be. Literally bloodline is not important, but you as a parent are the most valuable thing

Kando - importance/weight

Gotal'u jate'kara o'r oyu'baat - make luck/destiny in the universe

Oya! - Wahoo! Yipee! etc. Literally "let's hunt"

Osik - crap

Aliit ori'shya taldin - family is more than blood

K'oyacyii, anade - hang in there everybody.