Really love explicit torture fics. Please god I need some

I’m up to date on most MGS fics published since Delta, but nothing much beforehand!

Hi everyone!

With the release date getting closer, and me being close to finished with the writing part of the demo-making process, I’m looking for alpha readers who’d be interested in trying it out in advance. To be clear, I’m not looking for beta readers, meaning I don’t need someone who can professionally critique a work, or grammar/spellcheck, or anything like that. I’m only interested in people who’d like to play it in advance and give their general opinion. As if you were a normal reader sending me a comment to talk about the game, only you’d get access to it before everyone else.

Ideally, I’d like around 5 people for this, but more is always better, that’s just a minimum I’m shooting for. if you’re interested in being an alpha reader, just send me a message here, either an ask (you can’t be anon for obvious reasons) or a PM. If you want more information on what The Shadowwalkers is about, check out the pinned post on my blog, and there’s a dedicated section for the LIs on the sidebar.

Reblogs are much appreciated, as well as sharing to people you think might be interested. Thank you!!

Mako.

Hello, wild ones! I’m Mako, a druid and home witch (which is what I call my blend of green and kitchen witchcraft) and a follower of the Gaulish pantheon and culture. I’m French, I identify as agender (they/them) and I have a physical disability that severely impacts my walking. I frequently use crutches, as well as a wheelchair, I take strong painkillers and medical morphine to manage the chronic pain that comes with the territory and I’m bedridden several times a month. All of that has an impact on my practice and that’s why I’m well-versed in pain spells and rituals, as well as studying herbalism and beginning to work as a natural healer, because I know debilitating pain all too well.

maybe you're seeing this on your dash and thinking "hum, this username is kinda familiar". maybe you do remember me, in which case, again, hi.

i've been gone for an entire year. it hasn't been a great one. for those who read my posts before, you might already know this, but for everyone else, I was born with a rare genetic condition. on top of that, i had a very serious accident at 13 that more or less destroyed my right leg. i haven't been able to walk right since then, and it hasn't been helped by the following years of botched surgeries, complications from the operation, misdiagnosis and medical malpractice. i'm left with a barely functional leg that has a permanently torn set of ligaments, collapsed nerves and debilitating, constant, torturous chronic pain.

then i had a weird relapse of sorts. a bucketful of symptoms. hives and flushing, limbs and joints swelling, rashes, trouble breathing, sudden drops in blood pressure, heart rate above 100 at rest, stomach cramps, nausea, headaches, migraines, chronic fatigue, confusion, memory loss, dizziness and loss of consciousness. it's called MCAS.

i can't describe to you what it's like to never be well. to never wake up in a body that feels right, even just ok. to always have something going wrong, something painful, something that doesn't work right.

i'm hooked up to an oxygen machine twice a day. i wear a compression garment that goes from my ankles up to the tips of my fingers. i have to do two self-injections every month. i live with additional compressive equipment for both my knees, both my ankles, both my wrists, an elbow. i have a machine with electrodes i can put on painful areas to electrocute them and sometimes, it helps with the pain. i have to use pain-relief plasters and poultices a couple times a day.

i have premature arthritis. the arthritis in my back ate all the cartilage of my last three vertebrae (the ones above your tailbones, your lower back) so i'm like a car with no suspensions. my vertebrae are rubbing against each other with nothing in between to protect them, my discs are crushed, i have severe sciatica. chronic light sensitive migraines.

my joints don't hold. since january, I dislocated my left knee leading to a synovium effusion (big pocket of the lube in your joint that gathers and forms a ball and it pushes on your nerves, ligaments, tendons and tissue); i sprained my left ankle and it tore my external ligament and heel ligament. i dislocated a bunch of my fingers multiple times.

oh, i also got diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS.

i live bedridden now. i have an entire grocery bag of medication sitting by my bed so i can reach it easily. opioids, neuropathic pain medication, anti-inflammatory medication, a medication that completely stops my period.

and that's without mentioning the hours and hours of hospital visits, specialists, family doctors, physical therapists, etc.

i'm gonna be honest. same time last year, i was having a hard time. i had turned 25 in january and moved into my first apartment since uni. it's in the same village as my mom which is the only reason i could live independently. so i was just 25 and all the MCAS stuff was happening on top of everything else and i had this realisation that this was what the rest of my life would look like, but worse, because my disease is degenerative. it gets worse as you age.

so i was just 25 and i realised i had the next 50 to suffer through this and more, and suddenly i didn't want to be here anymore. there was no ideation, it was more a complete break down of my hopes for the future. what was my future going to look like in this cursed body?

anyway, i collapsed under the mental pressure, my health continued to worsen. what i used to be able to do was no so much harder, and sometimes impossible. i was a 25-year-old in a prison of their own flesh. i couldn't deal with the rest of the world, so i cut myself off from it.

i'm doing better now, mentally. physically, it's only gotten worse. as i write this, i'm reaching for my pain meds because everything below my right knee is screaming in agony and i have a splitting headache. this is a good day for me.

thank you, if you've read this far. thank you, if you thought about me even once in the past year. i'm not asking for anything, except maybe to talk with you if you have a similar story. i feel so alone in this hell, it'd be nice to talk to someone.

i love you all.

Hello artists of tumblr!

I’m looking for an artist to create a couple of character pieces for The Shadowwalkers, my IF (in case you don’t know why you follow me lmao). I’m looking for a rather rendered style, fairly realistic is preferred. If you’re interested, please send me a private message with your prices and a couple of examples of fantasy character pieces you’ve created.

If you want an idea of what I’m looking for, here are a couple of artists I’ve either commissioned in the past and loved it (but they’re not taking commissions anymore) or I’ve just found their art recently. If you feel your art is similar, don’t hesitate to contact me! Also, you can go to https://theshadowwalkers.tumblr.com/tagged/totl+art to see the art already made by me, to get an idea of what I’m looking for, or here https://theshadowwalkers.tumblr.com/totl for a commissioned piece I got a while back by an amazing artist.

https://harumeau.tumblr.com/

https://shalizeh7.tumblr.com

https://twitter.com/aerroknot

https://bluerbell.tumblr.com

https://marceline2174.tumblr.com/

I’m looking forward to hearing from you!