#making studying fun

this is gonna sound absolutely unhinged but i'm genuinely addicted to climbing the leaderboard on my study app and it's done more for my grades than any amount of parental pressure ever did.

let me explain lmao.

i used to open my textbook, stare at it, feel my soul leave my body, and then dissociate on youtube for three hours. studying felt impossible and lonely and like screaming into the void with zero feedback on whether i was even doing it right.

then leaderboards entered the chat and suddenly studying became a GAME.

every problem i solve gives me points. every lesson completed makes my rank go UP. that notification saying "you jumped from 156th to 98th!" hits SO different than any grade weeks later. it's immediate, it's visible, it's happening NOW.

and here's where it gets fun: i started recognizing usernames at the top. there's this person "ChemistryNerd2024" who's ALWAYS top 5 and honestly they're my nemesis slash inspiration. don't know them, probably never will, but their existence pushes me to do better. it's like having an anime rival except we're fighting with physics problems.

the app breaks leaderboards down by subject so i can see where i'm crushing it (english lit babyyy) and where i'm dying (math why do you hate me). instead of general anxiety i have SPECIFIC data on what needs work. vague dread becomes actual strategy.

oh and there are REAL PRIZES. weekly winners get free premium stuff. monthly champions win tablets. annual top performers get SCHOLARSHIPS. i'm not studying for some abstract future, i'm competing for stuff i can win TODAY.

plot twist: the app rewards consistency not cramming. it's not about one all nighter, it's about daily streaks and sustainable habits. i'm on day 47 and lowkey terrified of breaking it which means i study even on lazy days.

another plot twist: i've made friends?? there's a chat feature and some top students share tips and we've formed this weird supportive community. studying isn't lonely anymore it's actually... social??

I thought that grad school meant I’d stop drinking. Hah. I mean - I drink less in any given evening (than I did as an undergrad). I just tend to drink a little more frequently than I expected. And to mix it with caffeine.

I keep wandering into the kitchen to find various open bottles amongst the laptops and frantically revising students.

The Salje Kitchen

Spread out your papers and laptop. In front of you, have at least two of the following

a glass of coffee

a glass of whiskey (diluted with water)

a glass of green tea

an espresso cup filled with sambuca

a glass of red wine

It takes me back…

I used to work at a coffee shop (a-major-chain-that-shall-remain-un-named) - in high school and as one of my three jobs when i was doing 60hr work weeks to save money before my gap year. I had a “crazy neighbor” (who was really more of an aunt/adopted family member) who had been a costume designer in Hollywood and listened to NPR in a house full of cushions and books. She’d would variously decide it was her mission to dress me, teach me some vanity for the sake of self-respect, get me to relax, or inspire me.

I’d get home from work with a coffee for me and a coffee for her; she’d pour me a glass and we’d both double-fist our way into the afternoon. She called it:

The Poor Man’s Speed Ball

With a book on your lap, the radio on, and several unfinished assignments or art projects you’ve been planning for years, have in front of you:

mug of coffee

glass of red wine

Gossip about friends, discuss politics and the meaning of life, and complain about family members.

Which reminds me of last year. I’d been working as a hostess/cocktail waitress in a club and started drinking red bull (having a can in your hand was practically part of the uniform). I’d sneak lemonade into mine because I couldn’t stand the taste - and, ocassionally, a shot of something.

A few months later (dissertation-writing time!), it turned into… The Student: California Dreaming.

There is, of course, the Irish Coffee and the Skint Irishman’s Breakfast (Irish coffee without cream, or with only one type of liquor). (Irishman’s Dinner = pint of Guiness.)

My favourite, though, was what we started to call

The wanna-be Grad Student

Cup of very strong coffee