#make up fic

***

We’ll Make it New

The past three weeks has been miserable. While Deeks had officially ended their relationship, he hadn’t left NCIS or LAPD. At least not yet. Apparently he’d handed in his resignation, but told both Bates and Hetty he would stay on until they found his replacement.

It was a unique kind of torture. Seeing Deeks every day made her chest ache with longing, yet she coveted every moment they had together. To make it a little easier on her, Sam and Callen had taken to splitting she and Deeks up more days than not.

Thankfully they’d refrained from making any comments so far. Small favors, she supposed.

Today, started out with a debrief in OPS as usual on a suspicious double murder. Instead of standing next to Kensi as he once did, Deeks took position near the back of the room. As though he was physically distancing himself as much as he was emotionally.

“What do you think, Deeks?” Callen asked after Nell and Eric had gone over all the current details. Everyone turned to face Deeks, unusually quiet these days, and he considered the question for a few seconds.

This new version of him was quieter, more serious, more prone to deliberation. Like so many things recently, she regretted ever wishing that Deeks would less talkative, less the jokester…less him. She regretted not appreciating what they had.

“I think it’s suspicious that Lt. Anderson knew both victims and just rolled back into town two days ago,” Deeks said eventually. And that was it.

“Ok, then Sam and Kensi you can go talk to the Lieutenant. Deeks and I will interview his immediate superior,” Callen decided.

***

“How you holding up?” Sam asked as they drove to the Lieutenant’s home.

“Barring my father’s death and the times I’ve thought Deeks was dead, these have been the worst weeks of my life,” Kensi answered truthfully. “And I know what you’re going to say: I told you so,” she added with an exhausted sigh.

“Actually, I wasn’t. I don’t take any pleasure in your or Deeks’ pain,” Sam replied. “I do think you have some considerations to make.”

“Like what?”

“Well, you two are clearly both miserable. Deeks wants out, you don’t. I’d say you need to figure out if there’s a way that you can make both of those happen while existing as a couple?”

“Well, if it were that easy, I wouldn’t be single or searching for a new home.” She didn’t mean to snap, but she was on edge and feeling judged.

“I never said it was easy.” Sam chuckled dryly, shaking his head. “Believe me, Michelle and I had this “conversation” more than once.” He smiled softly. “When Michelle got pregnant, it was a big surprise. She was the one who decided to resign from fieldwork, but we argued a lot about whether I should stay in or not. In the end, we decided that me staying would work.

“I wouldn’t say that I regret that decision, but I missed out on quite a few bedtimes, school events, and all over the years. Those are times I can’t get back. And I can’t get back the missed date nights with Michelle. Or the days when she had to be the only parent to our kids.”

“I’m getting mixed messages here,” Kensi said with mild annoyance.

“Sorry. Basically, if being an NCIS Special Agent is what does make you happy, then that’s fine. If not…maybe it’s time to reconsider,” Sam said. “Work will always be there, people won’t.”

***

Kensi found herself rethinking Sam’s advice for the next several days. Somehow, once he’d laid it all out for her, it did seem amazingly simple. She wasn’t happy or content, even if she didn’t find some amount of pleasure in her work. It all seemed dull and worthless without Deeks by her side.

Which is why four days after talking with Sam, she found herself walking up the cracked sidewalk to the address she’d convinced Nell to give her. She knocked on the door before she chickened out and waited, heart pounding.

When Deeks opened the door a few moment later, he blinked in apparent surprise at finding her on his doorstep.

“Kensi, what are you—?”

“I quit,” she blurted out before Deeks could even voice his entire question. Which was not what she’d planned on saying at all.

“You quit?” Deeks repeated slowly, shaking his head slowly. “As in…?”

“NCIS. As of this morning, I’m not an NCIS Special Agent.”

Deeks’ face lit up for the briefest of seconds before he sobered, his expression shifting to one of disbelief. “Why?”

“Because I want you,” Kensi said reaching for his hand. She didn’t let his lack of response dissuade her.

“That didn’t make a difference before. At least not enough of one,” he reminded her. Kensi dipped her head, acknowledging his comment with a short nod.

“Yeah, well, I had a talk with Sam and he gave me reconsider some things.”

“He’s pretty good at that,” Deeks murmured softly, with a hint of his usual humor.

“He is.” She lifted her head, tears pricking the back of her eyes, as she took a step closer. “And I really missed you. More than any position, or mission could ever make up for.”

“But Kensi, you love field work. You love everything about helping people, the intrigue, and danger of it all. I can’t live up to that.” Her heart ached at the quiet hope tinged with resignation in Deeks’ voice.

“Yes, you can,” Kensi insisted fiercely, grasping his hand and pressing it to her chest. “Because I love you. More than anything. I can find ways to help people and fulfill my inner daredevil that won’t put me in danger the way that fieldwork does.”

“Are you sure?” Deeks whispered, his thumb gently rubbing over the back of her hand.

“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “Yes, I want to be with you.”

Deeks made a sound that was a cross between a gasp of relief and a sob, drawing her into his arms. Kensi cupped her hands around his jaw, almost desperate in her need to kiss him.

“I love you,” he whispered, burying his nose in her neck. She felt him shudder against her, and held him even tighter.

She’d come so close to losing this, him, forever. She’d never make that mistake again.

“I love you too,” she repeated. “So much.”

***

I hope that was alright.

Summary: Tom is back to work. What does that mean in terms of reality when Anne is still ‘holidaying and sorting through April’s belongings’.

Word count: ??

Pairing: Tom (from 'Make Up') x reader (Anne)

Warnings: Depression, smoking, mental health issues, sex

Author's note: Spoilers included for the film 'Make Up'. It's assumed you have seen the film to get the most out of this fic. 18+ only

The radio alarm buzzed on, signalling a rude 6am awakening. Both bodies groaned in der the duvet in unison. A mountain of corners hidden under cotton and feathers. Trying to stay warm in the little trailer. Wind whistling outside causing rattles and strange sounds. The groaning shifted to giggles and the thrashing limbs soon settled into an ocean of rhythmic waves. Rising, pulsating in and out. Groans turned to moans and coos and little breaths until it all came to a chaotic climax and warm little kisses and humming appreciations were being dished out. A figure sat upright, breaking past the barrier of the duvet.

“Freayzin…” Tom shivered, leaning back and stealing another kiss from Annie who was still cocooned in the duvet mountain all warm satiated and happy. A light coral flush to her cheeks and no rush to have to move, she felt herself drifting back to sleep. Tom was about to offer her a coffee when he heard the little snoring sounds, he’d spent the weekend learning to love. He dressed, downed a black coffee and took one last look at his sleeping beauty. And boy was she. Long lashes against peach skin cheeks, a thin expressive top lip cushioned by a full, plump lower lip supporting it. He smiled as he left the van.

Sequel to the earlier prompt. If you liked where that ended feel free to ignore this. I wrote both with the idea that The Incident didn't happen, but it can work either way.

Making up is hard to do

Same place. Same time of day. Same families milling about. Not much has changed. Robert’s waiting for Aaron again.

He hadn’t left, that afternoon. Robert couldn’t give him an answer, couldn’t make himself reassure Aaron, didn’t know how, didn’t know if he could. So he’d taken the easy way out, told him he needed time, a few more days.

So Aaron had stayed, stubborn as ever, found another room in the hotel. Robert had avoided him, escaping the place that now felt more suffocating. He’d needed the space to think. The thing he kept coming back to was, did he want to let Aaron go, could he spend the rest of his life without him?

Part of him feels like he can’t judge given his history, the times he’s cheated and he knows that Aaron has doubted him for so long but he’d thought that was gone, thought they were past it all. The thing is he doesn’t want to be without Aaron, the life they’ve made but at the same time he needs to be able to trust him and right now he doesn’t know whether he can do it.

Now he’d agreed to talk again, to try and figure out the best way to move forward. Aaron was leaving it to him, couldn’t do much else really. Robert was still trying to work out what to say.

The sun was slowly setting in front of him. One of the other guests in the hotel had cornered him on the stairs that morning, asked him to help her, so he’d taken her arm as she unsteadily made her way down the stairs. She’d told him how she came here every year, used to visit with her husband until he died and now she was alone. He listened as she told him how they’d sit and watch the sunset every night on the beach, how romantic it was.

“God, I thought I was never getting out of there! Must be the only chippy for miles.” Aaron dropped down onto the step beside him, passing him a packet of fish and chips.

“Thanks.” There was nothing better than fish and chips straight from the paper at the beach in Robert’s opinion, and he dug in, the two of them quiet.

“I haven’t decided anything, but I don’t want to give us up, not just like that”

“Whatever you want. I love you Robert.”

“You keep saying that, but what if it’s not enough. What if I’m always going to wonder…and I know I gave you plenty of reasons to doubt me…and maybe I’m a hypocrite, but I can’t live like that.” He sets his food down beside him, appetite having disappeared.

Neither of them speak for a while and Robert can see Aaron fidgeting with his wedding ring out of the corner of his eye.

“I met this woman this morning. She used to come here with her husband and now he’s gone she comes back here every year. They were married for sixty years. I could see us all that time in the future…would I do that, would you? Go back to special places like that?”

“We could be like that?”

“A few weeks ago I’d have agreed with you, wouldn’t have to think about it. I want that…I want to be sitting here with you when I’m old.” The more he talks, the more he can’t bear the thought of them not having a future.

“I want it too, I do. I won’t let you down again, I’ll do whatever it takes for you to trust me again.”

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” He nods towards the sea, the sun low in the sky casting a pinky, orange glow over everything. He turned to look at Aaron, still staring out at the sunset, and he knows he can’t let him go, can’t be without him.

“Yeah.” He meets Robert’s gaze, the sun making his eyes even bluer. Robert leans to kiss him, lips pressing together softly before he pulls away.

“I’m going to stay at Vic’s, for a while at least. We never did the whole date thing. Maybe we should start there. I want to trust you, I think I will one day but we can’t just sweep everything under the carpet like we have before. It doesn’t work.”

“I’m so sorry, Robert.”

“No, stop that. No more apologising. We start again, we talk more and the rest will come.” Aaron nods, eyes full of tears. “Come here.” He pulls Aaron closer, tucking his head against Robert’s collarbone, puts his arm around him, other hand against Aaron’s knee.

you'd better crawl, wrestling, roman/dean/seth, nc-17, sex, sequel to forgotten. shoutout to the Captain for the cake. <3

ohnoitsthebat, cacklesnicely, captainbigdickambrose, sortofgetit

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