#mahesh

Nandu, or rather Pardhu, now that he had become a part of this family who had no idea what happened to their real Pardhu, hated the sight of you. 

He hated the way you looked, he hated the way you spoke, he hated the way your eyes sparkled whenever you talked to him, and the thing he hated most of all was that he didn't even hate you at all. 

He hated the way you made him feel. He hated that whenever you were around him, he felt things he hadn’t felt in years. 

Every word you spoke made him feel warm on the inside, every light touch of yours that accidentally grazed over him felt like it melted the ice on his skin. He wanted to hate you. He wanted his soul to shrivel up with disgust at the mere sight of you because he was scared. Scared that if he fell down the rabbit hole, there would be no return. 

Nandu has thoughts when he’s alone. Thoughts that scare him. Thoughts that tell him to tell you that he loves you. Thoughts that tell him if you say no–! Nandu smacked himself on his cheek lightly, dreading what the dark part of his mind would tell him to do if you said no. 

He didn’t know how or even why, but the longer he was near you, the more often these thoughts came, sometimes even while you were talking to him. 

The thoughts were endless. What if you said no? What would he do then? Would he take you away? Away from your family to have you all to himself? 

Had he had this same thought before he met you, Nandu wouldn’t have hesitated to get it done, but that was the worst part. You made him a better person, and now, whenever Nandu thinks about the things he would do for you, a feeling of terror washes over him. So he tried to hate you. 

And you, much to his horror, understood that he ‘hated’ you. You understood the way he left when you were around, the way he wouldn’t reply to you if you greeted him, or the way he dodged every chance to be in the same area as you. 

Being the sweet and understanding girl you were, part of the reason he hopelessly fell for you, you distanced yourself from him, not wanting to discomfort him. 

Nandu didn’t know whether to be happy about this or not. His brain, the more logical part at least, told him this was good. Now he could forget you a lot easier. But his heart – ooh, his heart.

The more you distanced yourself from him, the more other men started approaching you. Coming up to you, talking so casually, making you smile so easily. 

Nandu hadn’t realised until you distanced yourself from him the effect he seemed to have had on the men around you. 

The dangerous looks he gave to men who spoke to you, the extra hard handshakes he would give to the ones who you introduced him to, Nandu never even realised he did any of this stuff. 

It all just came out naturally. And now that Nandu wasn’t as close to you, more guys, hoping to be potential suitors approached you. 

Each of your interactions with other men acted like a boulder, pushing Nandu closer and closer to the edge of the cliff, and it shivered Nandu to the bone when he thought about what could happen if the boulder fell off the edge. 

This feeling – seeing you with other men – was worse than those thoughts. 

❝I'm scared of the things I would do for you, but I also hate the idea of anyone else having you.❞

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