#magicmagikarp

@magicmagikarp​.

*throws a magikarp at*

He had rose his arm to block whatever his senses felt was coming towards him. Like his instinct told him ; it was inoffensive... but darn wasn’t it so fucking insulting.

Hands reached his face to grab onto the still living, fighting for dear life koi fish, fingertips digging into it as it kept slipping on his gloves... before Archer’s arm moved in a wide arc, chucking with every once of his might the fish at the perpetrator’s face, hoping its guts would explode all over him.

@magicmagikarp​ said:  *throws a magikarp at*

OH HE CATCHES THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN MID-AIR. He’s been gaining the Karp Experience since the last festival in Viridian city, he’s learned the splash patterns, and by Arceus, he’s READY to catch a flying Magikarp with the experience of someone who’s had to try and hold his own fish in his arms for more than 30 seconds. He’s by no means a veteran, but he’s READY, HE’S PREPARED, AND HE’S READY TO FUCKIN’ RUMBLE. 

“EXCUSE YOU? I SEE Y’HAVEN’T BEEN INTRODUCED TO MY BUDDY BOB OVER HERE—”

He gestures to the left, towards—

Flop. Flop flop flop. Flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop.

“FUCK YEAH, BOB.”

@magicmagikarp​ attacked:

*throws a magikarp at*

     SLAP.

     Oh come on. Whatever that was felt... disgusting. Slimy? Wet... 

     He looks down and sees the fish. The fucking fish.

     Why are Pokemon such a pain? Or in this case, why is M throwing fish at him?