Keiran Woodward 15/20 he's chill, like him
Lee Rentoul 16/20 Sick fuck, I like the energy (minus one because he was mean to Angela and Angela is neat)
Sebastian Adekoya 20/20 MY BELOVED SEBASTIAN PLEASE BE IN TMP I WANT YOU TO BE THERE SO BADLY
Christof Rudenko 1/20 I would give you a zero by how much of an asshole you are but your name rolls off the tongue nicely. Be happy you have 1.
David Laylow 18/20 You're great, love your view on life, I like you very much, hope you recover well from your encounter dude
Gregory Pryor 14/20 Yes, but why you gotta describe poor Hector like that
Mrs.Carlisle 19.5/20 I need to know your name PLEASE YOU'RE SO BADASS (minus 0.5 is for lack of a first name Jonny give us the name of Mrs.Carlisle I need to know)
Craig "Greg Goodball" Goodall 16/20 Craig "I didn't want my last thought on Earth to be lowkey racist" Goodall (this line fucking killed me)(and it's ironic.)
Ross Davenport 25/20 MY BLORBO YOU NEED SOME THERAPY I'D BE WILLING TO PAY I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
Dylan Anderson 12/20 Take care of your pigs well, love them, please. Kind of forgettable tho, not the statement, just you
Mikaele Salesa 13/20 JONNY STOP WITH THE MICHEALS how do you even write his name (also I used to think he was a girl)
Lucia Wright 15/20 girl you recorded a statement about meat on my birthday/pos ALSO GNOSTISM??? THAT'S FUCKING INTERESTING
Jared Hopworth x2 19/20 Dude I like you but WHY DID YOU KILL YOUR BEST FRIEND if you denied your internalized homophobia you could've dated also you have 7 hands and that's canon now (Alex said it) also what do you look like for your creator and VA to go NUTS about you
Bonus - Reese "Gristlebloom Orchid" [No last name] - 30/20 ANOTHER BLORBO WHY ARE MY BLORBOS DYSPHORIC BODYBUILDERS BUT I LOVE THEM (also ft him getting me a cool user)
Bonus - Tyler 19/20 I just think he's meat. I mean neat.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
A compilation of interactions between Jon and Helen from beginning to end because they had the best dynamic
Transcript under the cut
[MAG 47]
[CLICK]
[SOUND OF PEN SCRATCHING AGAINST PAPER IN SHARP, FRUSTRATED MOVEMENTS]
ARCHIVIST
Statement of Helen Richardson, regarding, uh⊠how would you describe it?
[PEN SCRATCHING CONTINUES]
ARCHIVIST
âŠMiss Richardson?
[PEN SCRATCHING CONTINUES]
HELEN
â uh, what?
[PEN SCRATCHING CONTINUES]
ARCHIVIST
Your experience, how would you summarize it?
[PEN SCRATCHING CONTINUES]
HELEN
Um, well, Iâve been, Iâve been trying to draw you a map, but, it doesnât, it doesnât work.
[PEN SCRATCHING CONTINUES; HELEN CAN NOW BE HEARD BREATHING HARD AS THE ARCHIVIST SPEAKS]
ARCHIVIST
â Right. Statement of Helen Richardson, regarding a new door in the house she was selling. Statement recorded direct from subject, 2nd October, 2016. Statement begins.
[MAG 101]
HELEN
Do you want to come in?
ARCHIVIST
Wh⊠Helen? H-Helen Richardson? But⊠But yâ MichaelâŠ
HELEN
Michael isnât me. Not now.
ARCHIVIST
What happened?
HELEN
He got⊠distracted. Let feelings that shouldnât have been his overwhelm me.
Lost my way.
ARCHIVIST
And now? Y-__youâre__ Helen?
[MAG 115]
[KNOCK, KNOCK]
[Calls] Come iâ
[KNOCK, KNOCK]
[More sombrely] Come in.
[A NEW DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
[Sharply] What do you want?
HELEN
Not sure. To talk.
ARCHIVIST
Youâre keeping her face, then.
HELEN
I am Helen.
ARCHIVIST
Donât pretend to be people I know. Knew.
HELEN
Iâm not pretending.
ARCHIVIST
Youâre not Helen Richardson.
[MAG 115]
HELEN
Before, talking to you made Helen feel better.
ARCHIVIST
Youâre not that Helen!
HELEN
I just want⊠I just want to feel better.
ARCHIVIST
âŠ
I donât believe you.
HELEN
You donât?
ARCHIVIST
Wh-what? Why should I believe⊠a-a-any of this? Youâve told me over and over that youâre⊠what was the phrase? The âthroat of delusionâ? All of this is â
HELEN
I have never told you a lie, Archivist. I wouldnât dare. I, I just thought you might understand.
ARCHIVIST
Uh⊠How could I possiblyâŠ
HELEN
Weâre both changing, Archivist. I had hoped, that together â
ARCHIVIST
[Furious] Get out.
[MAG 131]
[MELANIE SIGHS, KNOCKS ON THE DOOR] MELANIE
Sheâs been helping us.
ARCHIVIST
[Sharply] It has never helped anyone. Not without a cost.
[THE DOOR CREAKS OPEN] HELEN
If I am an âitâ, Archivist, then what does that make you?
[THE DOOR CREAKS CLOSED] MELANIE
Hi, Helen.
ARCHIVIST
[Coldly] I have been told you can help.
HELEN
I have been trying to. But the last time you were very rude to me.
ARCHIVIST
Youâre still wearing her face.
HELEN
Not this again. Iâm not âwearingâ anything, Archivist. I am at least as much âHelen Richardsonâ as you are the âJonathan Simsâ that first joined this Institute.
[MAG 143]
ARCHIVIST
Why are you here?
HELEN
I told you! Iâve decided to help. I thought you might like a way home?
ARCHIVIST
Another door?
HELEN
If you want it. (short pause) How was it?
ARCHIVIST
Hm?
HELEN
Looking upon the Dark.
ARCHIVIST
I thought I was going to die.
HELEN
You seem to think that a lot.
[MAG 152]
HELEN
(âdelicatelyâ hinting) Although â some of us are always lost, in a sense.
ARCHIVIST
Wait, are you saying you can navigate it?
HELEN
Not exactly, but my door has been part of these tunnels for some time now.
ARCHIVIST
Wh â (frustrated sputtering) â whatâs it hiding, wh-whatâs in the middle?
HELEN
(suppressed laughter) A delightful surpriseâŠ!
[HE SIGHS. SHE LAUGHS, OVERLAPPING HIM AND HERSELF, SEEMINGLY OUT OF SEVERAL THROATS AT ONCE, AND WITH A DRAINED, SLEEPY QUALITY TO IT WHEN SHE FINDS THAT SHE HAS LAUGHED TOO LONG, AND MUST STOP TO INHALE. HER LAUGHTER, IN SHORT, NOW SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE MICHAELâS. THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS AGAIN, RESIGNED TO HER.]
[MAG 152]
HELEN
Hungry, are we?
ARCHIVIST
(angrily) Thatâs not â
â I havenât done anything â
HELEN
â yet.
ARCHIVIST
(roughly) I feel like if I donât⊠I might die. Fade away into nothing.
HELEN
âŠ
Do you⊠Know that?
ARCHIVIST
No. But I⊠(frustrated noise) I canât die. They need me.
HELEN
Come on, John, no excuses.
[HE SIGHS AS SHE SPEAKS.]
They donât need your protection.
[MAG 152]
HELEN
Helen was like you, at first.
[HE CAN BE HEARD INHALING UNHAPPILY IN THE BACKGROUND.]
She felt such guilt over taking people. Until one day she realized she wasnât going to stop doing it. So she chose to stop feeling guilty.
ARCHIVIST
Fine. I get it.
[MAG 157]
[CLICK] [HEAVY KNOCKING ON A DOOR. IT SWINGS OPEN.] ARCHIVIST
Helen.
HELEN
Jonathan.
ARCHIVIST
I need â you said before you knew the tunnels, right? That youâd been a⊠part of them?
HELEN
Not my exact words, but close enough.
ARCHIVIST
I need to know whatâs in there. Whatâs at the center? (urgently) I-itâs important, Martin â I need to know.
HELEN
(cheerfully) Thatâs a shame, because Iâm afraid Iâm not going to tell you!
ARCHIVIST
(aghast) What? Why not?
HELEN
Because I have a good enough sense of whatâs going on to know that it will be much more fun without my involvement! (begins laughing)
ARCHIVIST
What? You â you said you were going to help!
HELEN
I am.
ARCHIVIST
I donât have time for this.
[164]
HELEN
Remember? And please â my name is Helen.
ARCHIVIST
Like you said, I can know everything now, including how much of a lie that really is.
HELEN
Donât mistake complication for falsehood, dear Archivist. And remember, that knowledge is not the same thing as understanding!
ARCHIVIST
What do you want.
HELEN
To say hello! And check up on the happy couple.
[She laughs again.]
[166]
ARCHIVIST
Hello, Helen.
HELEN
Oh, hello! In a better mood, are we?
(lower, teasing) Feeling more secure now youâve learned how to kill?
[As she speaks, a shimmery, high-pitched sound starts to layer over the background.] ARCHIVIST
(inhale) Something like that.
MARTIN
Will you tell me how he did it?
ARCHIVIST
MartinâŠ
MARTIN
He just keeps going all vague about it.
HELEN
Oh, goodness. You see what youâve done to the poor boy, John? Heâs coming to me for clear answers.
[She snorts, and it turns into her trademark laugh.]
ARCHIVIST
Shut up.
[177]
HELEN
Oh, John? Not to sound like a squeaky hinge, but do try to lighten up. Donât get me wrong, the brooding thingâs a good look on you, but it is starting to get a bit tired. Especially now youâve got someone else to do the intense, driven thing. I think you might need to get a new schtick.
ARCHIVIST
[Sarcastic] Thank you for the feedback. Iâll try to bear it in mind.
[183]
ARCHIVIST
What we want doesnât matter much these days.
[HELEN MAKES A RASPBERRY NOISE]
HELEN
Oh nonsense. What we want is the only thing that matters these days. And Basira wanted to join Daisy.
ARCHIVIST
She made her choice.
HELEN
With your assistance.
ARCHIVIST
It was still her choice.
HELEN
[Sighing] What a waste.
ARCHIVIST
No.
It wasnât.
[MAG 187]
HELEN
You really donât like me, do you?
ARCHIVIST
No.
HELEN
And you never have.
ARCHIVIST
Not really.
HELEN
Even though I saved you from Michael.
ARCHIVIST
You were Michael.
HELEN
Argh. Iâm The Distortion, as was Michael, but I am not him, and never have been. Surely you know all this by now, what with your shiny new eye powers?
ARCHIVIST
Itâs not about what I know. Itâs about what I feel.
HELEN
[Disparagingly] Oh, what do you feel?
ARCHIVIST
I liked Helen.
HELEN
I am Helen.
ARCHIVIST
The real one.
HELEN
âŠ
Helen-Classic.
ARCHIVIST
Sure.
HELEN
But that doesnât make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!
ARCHIVIST
True. But as youâll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.
[MAG 187]
ARCHIVIST
I got you rattled.
HELEN
Iâm not scared of you.
ARCHIVIST
Helen⊠Was that⊠a lie?
HELEN
[Too quickly] No!
ARCHIVIST
A lie. A genuine untruth. Like a little bit of loose thread, flitting in the breeze.
HELEN
Fine. You can go.
[SHIFTING, AND A NEW DOOR OPENS]
Thereâs the door. Just go!
ARCHIVIST
Ceaseless Watcher!
HELEN
No!
[THROUGH THE INCANTATION, THE HARSH BUZZ OF STATIC MINGLES WITH CREAKING WOODWORK AND CRUMBLING CRICK]
ARCHIVIST
See this lie, this golden strand of falsehood. Take it in your gaze and pull it, follow through its curves and twists and knots as it unravels all before you.
HELEN (BACKGROUND)
No. No! No! No, Archivist! Stop! John, itâs me, itâs Helen. Itâs me. Iâve always been your friend. Donât do this to me. I have always helped you. I have always helped you and lent you doors. Think of all that I have done for you. If you do this, everyone inside me is dead!
ARCHIVIST
Unweave it now, its fear and its falsehood, its hidden teeth and the ones it wears so proudly.
HELEN (BACKGROUND)
Youâre no different â You are no different from me! You canât save anyone!
ARCHIVIST
Take all that it is and all that it has. It is yours!
HELEN
No! NOOOOOO!
[HELENâS VOICE IS STRETCHED AND VANISHED] [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF DISTORTED DEMOLITION]
[MAG 47]
HELEN
Finally, [suppressing tears] after the latest bout of nightmares, I decided to come to you and tell you my story. Maybe you can make some sense of this.
ARCHIVIST
âŠPerhaps. Leave it with us. Weâll⊠do some digging and see what we can find.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
okay so obviously giving statements does something to peopleâs sleep/dreams but i?? still dont know what it is??? and like. technically martin gave a statement after he escaped from the jane prentiss situation so is he affected by it too????????
