#mag111

“It hurts. Being like this.

And it’s not like any pain you can feel when you’re alive. It’s… it hurts to exist.

Image Text: "She wasn't a caring mother or a skilled teacher. My struggling at her lessons infuriated her."

Image Text: I hunted Leitner's Zbooks with the best of them, even found a few. I'd bring them home and watch her eye's light up. But it was always the books that she was happy to see.

Image Text: Eric: "S'pose that makes sense. And Gerry? Have you seen my son?" GERTRUDE: "No; I've never met him, I'm afraid. Mary talks of him a lot. Well, she seems very Proud."

In Gerry's statement, Mary never acknowledges him, never appreciates him, never praises him. Even when he was doing what she wanted, there was nothing for him.

But Gertrude has seen a completely different side of how Mary views her son. She hears Mary talk about Gerry, talk about him a lot. Mary is proud of her son.

But he never hears that.

And this isn't saying that, I dunno, secretly Mary did love Gerry and just needed some parenting classes or some shit.

“whats out there, it doesn’t care about blood.”

“i mean, apart from the vampires.”

the eye

the ceaseless watcher, fear of being watched, being followed, deepest secrets exposed, needing to know even if the discovery might destroy you, feeling that something somewhere is letting you suffer just so it can watch

the vast

agoraphobia, fear of falling, fear of deep water, of our own insignificance before the vast universe

the lonely

isolation, the fear that you’re just alone, maybe there’s no one else there at all and maybe you just can’t connect

the desolation

burning, the lightless flame, fear of pain and loss, fear of unthinking and cruel destruction

the corruption

disease, infection, disgust, rot, decay, infection, the feeling of your skin crawling or itching, being touched by something that might burrow in you, swarming and hollowing you out, leaving you full of holes

the flesh

this fear is mainly from animals, animalistic fear of the slaughter house, gets weird in humans, gore, the nagging feeling that deep down we’re all just electrified meat squeezing air at each other, body horror, new fear, began when labeled by smirk

the stranger

the fear of the unknown, the uncanny, the creeping sense that something isn’t right, the guy you saw that might be following you and might mean you harm

the dark

old and deep fear, what might be in the dark that you can’t see

the buried

opposite of the vast, small spaces, claustrophobia, crushing, can’t breath, you’re at the center of everything and it all pushes down on you, where the vast is loosing yourself in too much space, the buried is being trapped with out enough

the spiral

fear of madness, worry that your world isn’t right, that your mind is lying to you

the slaughter

war, not cruel like the desolation, or unstoppable like the end, just pure violence, not targeted or premeditated, you don’t know when or why, sometimes frenzied, sometimes calm, just violence for the sake of violence

the end

clean cut and simply fear of death, never tried to set itself up for a ritual because it would because that would mean a world with no people and no death, it’s knows it’s going to get everything eventually so why bother

the hunt

animalistic/ derived from animals like the flesh but it’s older, jon brought up that hunting and killing each other is just the way they work and it’s natural, but gerry reminded him that so is death

the web

spiders, control, your will not being your own, manipulation, being puppeted, the worry you’re caught in a trap you can’t see, never had followers set them up for a ritual

SPOILERS UP TO MAG 134 —>

oooh, I finally get to hear Gerard

heh, dead serious

"Dying isn’t so bad. It’s staying dead that sucks." goes hard, ngl

that Gerard Keay sass 🤌

TMA, where a post-humous statement is just another Tuesday ✨

they are the fears!?

"Like colours, but if colours hated me. Got it. Christ, I need a cigarette." mood

so this is what a paranormal therapy session sounds like

aaaw, he wants John to call him Gerry

MAG111: Family Business