rest in pieces Sergey Ushanka, cursed to thirdwheel jonamartin in the 'puter
seen from Ireland
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seen from India
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rest in pieces Sergey Ushanka, cursed to thirdwheel jonamartin in the 'puter

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This man ate his computer?!?!?!
Statement of Sergey Ushanka, regarding his new diet plan guaranteed to help you lose weight fast!
MAG065 ā Caso 0170701 ā āBinarioā
Testimonio de Tessa Winters, sobre un extraño programa informÔtico que descargó de la Deep Web hace tres meses.
[Disclaimer/ Aviso]
[MAG064] | x | [MAG066]
(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: And to top it all, I still donāt know what happened to Gertrude. Officially, sheās still missing. But Elias is no help [ā¦].
(MAG039) ELIAS: Right. Tell me again, please. SASHA: Youāre kidding. [ā¦] Well, for the record, if we donāt do something now, it wonāt matter either way.
(MAG058) TIM: Look: I tried talking to Elias about it, but it doesnāt seem to do any good!
(MAG062) GERTRUDE: I should really tell Elias about this. MARY: By all means! Heās not exactly big on action, though, is he?
(MAG065) TIM: [ā¦] The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesnāt care [ā¦].
(MAG079) TIM: [ā¦] There is something in this place, and itās messing up our heads. It watches us all the time, it stops me quitting, Iām pretty sure it would stop Elias firing Jon even if he decided to actually try running this place for once. [ā¦] Er⦠Elias is probably still in his office. MARTIN: I thought you said he was a waste of a suit. TIM: Yeah, well heās better than nothing!
(MAG096) ARCHIVIST: [ā¦] A gift from Elias, no doubt. He could have sent this to me any time, filled me in on Breekon and Hope, but no. I had to find it myself, just in time for him to show me he knew all about it. ⦠Cocky prick.
(MAG096) ARCHIVIST: Ohhh⦠You thought we were going to, er⦠yāknow. Kill her. DAISY: ElāElias didnāt say. ARCHIVIST: No, he doesnāt, uh⦠Heās not big on micromanagement.
(MAG102) ARCHIVIST: A month, Elias. And you did what, nothing? [ā¦] And imagine what might have happened if your rescue had been slower. ELIAS: Sarcasm isnāt going to help, Jon. ARCHIVIST: The only thing here that āisnāt going to helpā is you. [ā¦] Fine. At least we now know youāre of zero practical use here. So aside from sending me other peopleās statements, what can you actually do to help?
(MAG105) XIAOLING: ⦠How long did you say you have been Archivist? ARCHIVIST: Uh⦠About two years now. XIAOLING: Well, Elias made a good choice. I did offer him someone, but he thought the language might be too much for him.
(MAG107) ARCHIVIST: What irritates me most is that Elias was clearly aware of this, hence his sending me this. Which seems to serve no other purpose but as a restorative. But as usual⦠he chose to keep this very useful information to himself.
(MAG108) PETER: Oh. That doesnāt sound like the Elias I know. He killed people himself? [ā¦] Elias Bouchard, getting his hands dirty. Well-well. Must be the End Times.
(MAG117) ARCHIVIST: [ā¦] Elias seems pretty insistent I go along. Part of me thinks itās just so we can see if whatever this⦠preparation heās been trying to do on me works. And you know what? That same⦠petty little part of me⦠rather hopes it doesnāt; that all this time, all his⦠cryptic nudges and ālearn to fly by fallingā attitude ends up being a complete waste of time. Just to show him.
(MAG134) PETER: [ā¦] But I believe I have a plan. However, it requires this place, and it requires someone touched by The Beholding. Elias was, perhaps unsurprisingly, unwilling to help.
->
(MAG138) MARTIN: Great. Great, great. So, what youāre [NERVOUS LAUGHTER] actually saying is that youāre gonna be⦠no help whatsoever! ELIAS: Just like old times~

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holy SHIT this conversation between jon and tim. literally dont know what to say except holy fucking shit
Small Melanie&Tim things:
- Holder of āfuckā
(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: Well, excuse me if my experiences of thā TIM: Your experiences? Fuck you! I got eaten by worms because of you!
(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: Oh, I⦠Melanie, IāIām so sorry, Iā MELANIE: Oooh, fuck off?!
- Holder of āassholeā
(MAG117) MELANIE: Elias thinks heās got this ingenious way to hurt people, but itās just the same old bullshit in a creepy new package. ⦠Assholeā¦
(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: Tim!! [STATIC:] What do you see? TIM: I see my asshole boss! Wā wait⦠waitā¦
- Asbestos.
(MAG028) MELANIE: Anyway. Weād been angling to go into the CMH for months, er, but I couldnāt get permission. Apparently thereās asbestos in the walls? It makes it, uh, ātoo much of a health and safety hazardā.
(MAG090) ELIAS: [SIGH] Tim⦠This place is very old. It has all sorts of⦠idiosyncrasies, and not all of them are good for the people who work here. TIM: I think Iād prefer asbestos.
- That-bi-crush-on-the-Real-Sasha
(MAG076) MELANIE: Whereās Sasha, by the way? I wanted to say goodbye. [ā¦] I havenāt seen her in a while. Oh. You didnāt fire her, did you? [ā¦] Tall, long hair, glasses⦠She was here when I first came in. Back last April? We had a long conversation about haunted pubs.
(MAG114) TIM: I knew Sasha for years, we⦠I donāt know Martin as well as I knew her.
- Not tolerating tape recorders anymore
(MAG098) MARTIN: [ā¦] Have you seen [Jon] sinceā¦? TIM: [GRUNT] Kind of. We tried to talk, but he, he reached for thatā Ah, he, he wanted to turn on his recorder. I freaked out a bit, and I said some stuff: if he wanted to talk, no tapes, I just, I just hate that thing.
(MAG136) THERAPIST: Right, have a seat. Do you mind if I record our sessions? MELANIE: I do mind. Yes. THERAPIST: Ah? I mean, itās just for my own notes. MELANIE: I categorically and completely do not give consent for you to make any recording of me, ever. Turn it off. Please.
- ⦠Apparently talking with each other behind tape recordersā back
(MAG106) ELIAS: You already have doubts, though. Youāve been talking with Tim, and have convinced yourself thatā MELANIE: [DRY LAUGHTER] ELIAS: āeven if Iām telling the truth, Iām too dangerous to live. MELANIE: Well.
- Conscious decision to avoid or stop doing Archival Assistant work altogether because The Eye/the place/this work is evil
(MAG098) TIM: Still doing those? MARTIN: ⦠Yeah. Yeah⦠I did ask Elias if I could stop. TIM: And he said ānoā for a mysterious reason? MARTIN: I donāt know? I mean, he kind of explained ā I think? Jonās ātoo inconsistentā at the moment. He needs to make up for the shortfall, which, I guess, means me. ⦠Unless you⦠TIM: No. MARTIN: He did suggest I try to get you involved, andā TIM: And I suggest that he not be a scary, magic psychopath. ⦠Whoops! Too late. MARTIN: ⦠Yeah. TIM: [SIGH] ⦠Sorry. MARTIN: No, Iā I get it. Heh. Theyāre not exactly much fun. TIM: Look, itās not that. I⦠[SIGH] This place is evil, Martin. And I think doing what It wants? Probably makes us evil. And It wants those things to be read. I mean, Iām not gonna stop you, but, at the same timeā MARTIN: Iā I get it.
(MAG150) MELANIE: Look. Iām not going to do my job anymore. ARCHIVIST: ⦠I am not sure I follow, youāyou know we⦠we canāt⦠quit, weāve all tried. MELANIE: I didnāt say I was going to quit. I said: Iām not going to do my job. No researching; no filing; no⦠field trips. Nothing that is going to help the Institute in any way. [ā¦] ARCHIVIST: Why? MELANIE: Because this place is evil, Jon. And so⦠doing this job⦠ARCHIVIST: [LOUD EXHALE] MELANIE: Helping it out⦠even in small ways, iāis in some way⦠evil too! Every time we try to use it to do good, it just seems to make everything worse, and⦠and I will not be a part of that anymore.
- ⦠and sickness due the aforementioned (experienced/planned ;;)
(MAG090) TIM: I hopped a flight to Malaysia. Found myself a hotel. ELIAS: I see. ⦠You were trying to leave us? TIM: Yeahā¦! ELIAS: But youāve returned. TIM: I⦠I got sick. The longer I was gone⦠I felt weak, like⦠like I was, I was losing myselfā¦
(MAG150) MELANIE: Iāll still be around, I just⦠I canāt be a part of this anymore. If, if I get sick, I get sick. And, and if I dieā¦
(MAG001) ARCHIVIST: It was a copy of the last photograph taken by her phone and sent to her sister Siobhan. The caption was ācheck out this drunk creeper, LOLā [el-o-el]
(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: Statement of Tessa Winters, regarding a strange computer program she downloaded from the Deep Web, three months ago. Is that accurate? TESSA: Well, first off, I didnāt find it on the āDeep Webā. ⦠God, itās like talking to my grandpa.
(MAG076) MELANIE: I was actually a meme for a day or two. ⦠You⦠do know what that is, donāt you? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I know what a meme is. You were saying?
(MAG081) ARCHIVIST: No-one ever believes me when I tell them my age. I, I donāt⦠know if itās the already greying hair or something in my demeanour, but they always act surprised when I mention being a child in the Nineties. I will admit the last few years have⦠aged me considerably.
+ Bonus: Grumpy Young Old Grampa gratuitously grumbling in his corner
(MAG097) ARCHIVIST: Georgie, whereās your fuseboā? Right. Right. Keep saying itās not meant to trip whenever one bulb goes, but āNo, Jon, I donāt want to bother the landlordā.
(MAG123) ARCHIVIST: Where did theā ⦠āComa, great! Letās rearrange his office. Sleeping people donāt need⦠pens.ā