#maester luwin

finally done with theon's POV characters from ACOK 💤

ned x jaime: yes. ned would give jaime a honour boner so massive he would be compelled to become an actual human being (similar to what happened after brienne beat the shit out of him in asos). idk what ned would get from the exchange but I don't think jaime could make him worse. the problem is they are both bottoms so idk how the relationship would actually work 🤷‍♀️

jaime x cat: kinda. cat would use jaime as her personal attack dog but she would also keep him on a tight leash so no more pushing kids out the window (unless they deserve it). cat tops.

cat x cersei: NO. THE most toxic, dangerous, sexy yuri in all of westeros. they would make each other SO MUCH WORSE. cersei would validate every single violent impulse catelyn has ever had and in turn cat would make cersei actually competent (really dangerous!). if those 2 were ever on the same side of a conflict there would be no stopping them. unless cersei got on her nerves and cat had to kill her after 2 weeks idk. they both fight for dominance but cat tops.

things I appreciate about the book:

the fact that jon is 14 makes his naivete regarding the wall hit so much harder. he's just a little boy and he's willing to sign his whole life away bc he believes he can be a part of something noble... neither his father nor his uncle nor anyone else tells him that to take the black is a grim sentence steeped in shame

ned hearing that bran's direwolf saved his life and being like "holy shit I killed one of them... what the fuck did I do"

sandor just whole ass traumadumping on 11-year-old sansa completely unprompted and then when he realizes he's just made himself vulnerable for literally no reason he goes "if you tell anyone about this I'll fucking kill you"

mormont thinks jon will be disappointed that bran is now a cripple but jon is so ecstatic bran's alive that he picks up tyrion lannister and spins him around (tyrion is startled by this) and then proceeds to cheerfully make friends with a guy who hates his guts bc jon kicked his absolute ass in training

tyrion and bronn starting to become friends on the way to the vale <3

THAT SINGER BITCH i love him

"whatever you may believe of me, lady stark, I promise you this -- I never bet against my family" screaming crying throwing up

jon going to maester aemon and convincing him to let sam take his vows!!!! using the metaphor of the maester's chain to make his point about how just bc sam is different that doesn't mean he's useless!!!!!!!

TYRION FIGHTING IN THE BATTLE AGAINST ROBB'S MEN!!!!! THE SHOW DID HIM SO FUCKING DIRTY i get that they didn't have as big a budget back then but come on man ToT

"when the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. when the seas go dry and the mountains blow in the wind like leaves. when your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child. then he will return, and not before." LET THE BARRENNESS BE PART OF THE CURSE why did they cut that

when tywin says "because you are my son" tyrion fucking Hates him for that bc he knows that if jaime were he tywin wouldn't spare him a second glance, he's only Tywin's Son now that jaime is prisoner and might die at the hands of the starks

things I appreciate about the show:

arya shooting a bullseye from behind bran. queen

jaime being a dick to everyone all the time for no reason. just going around starting shit. also that scene outside robert's bedroom where he talks to jory. jaime in general

ROS!!!!! MY GIRL ROS MY ABSOLUTE QUEEN ROS

"she's our guest." "she's our prisoner." "do you find the two to be mutually exclusive in your experience, my lord?" lmaooooo get his ass maester luwin

"sometimes possession,,,,, is an abstract concept"

THE DRINKING GAME!!!! first of all it gives us more insight into shae as a person who is so different from tyrion's established worldviews, secondly tyrion is always going around saying offensive shit and he thinks nothing of it bc a) people say offensive shit to him all the time and that's one of the ways he deals with it and b) he's usually right BUT when he makes all those assumptions about shae he's totally wrong and she stands up for herself, but my favorite part of that scene is that tyrion is hesitant to share this traumatic story from his past but he's just made bronn and shae confront their traumas so now he has to share too. and I think that's beautiful

all of varys and petyr's bitchy conversations when they're alone in the throne room

Like the Ironborn? Your lame girly prince you were told to listen to finally has like- a good plan but immediately upon successfully doing this plan everything goes to shit because this kid is just certifiably unhinged and kills his hostages.

Your average Winterfell servant? You remember that one bitchy Stark ward? The one who was supposedly your Kings ✨Best Friend✨? Yeah, he showed up in the middle of the night with fifty men from his shitty hometown and trashed the placed. He’s now surprised that everyone is mad at him.

Maester Luwin? You’ve known Theon since he was nine. You practically helped raise him; and sure he was always a few marbles short of a jar but you gotta ask yourself; what the fuck happened here??? Because it’s been a few months tops and he WAS NOT this bad when you last saw him!

I just love how his past is connected to a universe in which he would become internationally beloved and deemed one of the most honorable characters of the GoT franchise. Baelor Targaryen, you will always be famous and the greatest king that never was.

68_Choque de reyes_Bran V

—No llegamos a irnos —explicó Bran—. Fuimos hasta el lindero, y después volvimos sobre nuestros pasos. Mandé a los lobos para abrir un sendero, pero nos escondimos en la tumba de mi padre. 

—Las criptas —gorgoteó Luwin, con una espuma sanguinolenta en los labios. Cuando el maestre intentó moverse, emitió un grito agudo de dolor. 

Las lágrimas nublaron los ojos de Bran. Cuando un hombre resultaba herido, el maestre se ocupaba de él, pero ¿qué hacer cuando el maestre estaba herido? 

—Tenemos que hacer una litera para llevarlo —dijo Osha. 

—No tiene sentido —dijo Luwin—. Me estoy muriendo, mujer. 

—¡No puedes! —dijo Rickon, airado—. ¡Tú no puedes! 

A su lado, Peludo enseñó los dientes y gruñó.

 —Tranquilo, niño —dijo el maestre con una sonrisa—, soy mucho más viejo que tú. Puedo... morirme cuando desee.

 —Hodor, baja —ordenó Bran, y Hodor se arrodilló junto al maestre. 

—Escucha —le dijo Luwin a Osha—, los príncipes... los herederos de Robb. No... no juntos... ¿me entiendes?