first dog in space written by brennig davies // tiktok slideshow by @/h0pe_forthefuture_ // beach life-in-death - car seat headrest // heavydirtysoul - twenty one pilots // orange juice - noah kahan // miss you - conan gray // laika - gecko // not a lot, just forever - adrianne lenker // the hand the feeds - the crane wives (2) // roadkill - searows // love song from a dog - shovels & rope // snap back - twenty one pilots // memories - conan gray // howling - noah kahan // apollo's song - mae krell // I know the end - phoebe bridgers
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Writing is hard, you know. The fact that you’re just supposed to sit down and have a million thoughts flow into your head is crazy. You could have a week where nothing but sadness floods your mind and you can’t think of anything and then you can have one day where your mind decides to change and goes wild with happy thoughts of even the stupidest things.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The Time I Cried at a Portugal. The Man / Lido Show: by Mae Krell
Words and photo by Mae Krell, musician and photographer.
I'm a musician and live music photographer myself, and so I attend so many shows. However, I had some recent personal mental health issues  and ended up being shipped to a treatment center in Utah. I've been here for almost a year now, and I'm finishing the program on December 6th which I’m super stoked about.Â
Anyway, because I've been here and visiting home with minimal freedom, I didn't get to be involved with music stuff for a while. On my last pass, I got to go see Portugal. The Man and Lido play. I traveled an hour to go to the show, and had so much fun. During one of the songs, I was standing there, feet hurting, body being squished between everyone else in the GA area, and I just started sobbing.Â
I didn't realize at first why I was so emotional- and then I realized that I felt alive. I was happier, healthier, and better than I was a year ago. For so long, I was worried that because I was so uninvolved in music (other than writing) I would lose my passion. I was scared that I would lose interest in what I felt like was my purpose as a person before. At that moment, though, I realized that music is all I wanted. I just want to be around music- I want to play, to take photos, to enjoy live music all the time.Â
IÂ felt so alive- I felt like I was good enough and for a moment everything in the world was perfect. A feeling that is unrealistic, yet felt so real and incredible in the moment. Nothing makes me feel the way that music does- and it was so cool to be reminded of that after so long.Â