cw & info𓈒⠀, ✷ semi established relationship.⠀⠀⋆⠀!fempov ⋆ reader x canon ?cheating (＞。☆) .ᐟ
a & n 𓈒⠀, watch me go guys i've got so much motivation to write fanfics based of songsss... 🙂↕️🙂↕️ ♬ @ solcide
22:30 PM / 11:30 PM ☆ 𓈒
it was Evening. The ballroom in Saint Denis was a glittering cage of crystal chandeliers and imported champagne, the kind of place where every smile cost a fortune and every secret was worth twice that. She stood near the grand staircase in a gown the color of fresh blood, diamonds flashing at her throat like cold stars. Her husband (a railroad baron twenty years her senior) was busy shaking hands with politicians and pretending he didn’t notice the way younger wives looked at him. He never noticed much about her anymore.
Arthur Morgan didn’t belong here. Not in a tailored black suit that still couldn’t hide the breadth of his shoulders or the gunman’s way he carried himself, like a wolf someone had tried to dress up as a gentleman. He’d come for a job (something about a ledger full of bribes that needed to disappear), but the moment he saw her across the room, the job took second place. She felt his eyes before she saw him. A slow, deliberate drag of attention that made her skin prickle under silk and whalebone. When she finally turned, he didn’t look away. He just lifted his glass a fraction, a silent toast, and smiled like a man who already knew what she tasted like.
Later, when the orchestra played something slow and sinful, he found her on the balcony overlooking the courtyard. The night air was thick with jasmine and the distant rumble of the city. “You’re not supposed to be out here alone, ma’am,” he said, voice low and rough, Western vowels curling around the words like smoke. “Pretty thing like you. Dangerous town.”
She didn’t step back when he moved closer. “I’m not alone now, am I?“ His laugh was soft, more breath than sound. “No. Reckon you ain’t.” He smelled like leather and gun oil and something wild she couldn’t name. She wanted to bury her face in his neck and breathe him in until the perfume of high society was burned out of her lungs.
“You know who I am,” she said. Not a question.
“I know you’re married to the man who owns half the tracks west of the Lannahechee.” Arthur leaned against the balustrade, close enough that the heat of him seeped through her sleeves. “Also know he don’t look at you like he deserves to.”
Her pulse stuttered. “And how should a man look at me, Mr. Morgan?”
He turned then, eyes catching the moonlight (blue and sharp and hungry in a way that made her thighs press together beneath layers of petticoats) . .
“Like he’s starvin’,” he said simply. “Like you’re the only thing in the world worth eatin’.”
The words hit low in her belly, liquid and shameful. She thought of her husband’s cool, proprietary hand on her waist during their wedding waltz. Thought of the separate bedrooms, the polite silences, the way he kissed her cheek like she was a business merger.
Arthur didn’t touch her (not yet), but his gaze did. It stripped her bare, peeled away the diamonds and the title and the ring heavy on her finger until she was just a woman trembling on a balcony with want clawing up her throat.
“I got a man,” she whispered, the confession tasting like sin and champagne.
“I know,” Arthur murmured. His knuckles brushed the inside of her wrist, just once, a secret spark. “But you want me anyway darlin'.“
She couldn’t lie. Not when he was looking at her like that. Not when her body was already leaning toward him like a flower toward sunlight.
“Yes,” she breathed. “God help me, yes.”
He smiled again, slow and wolfish, and this time he did touch her (gloved fingers sliding along her jaw, tipping her face up so the moonlight painted them both silver).
“Then take what you want, darlin’,” he said against her lips, not quite kissing her, close enough that she felt the words more than heard them. “I ain’t the kind of man who begs. But for you… I might make an exception.”
Inside, the orchestra swelled. Inside, her husband laughed at some senator’s joke. Out here, in the dark, she let Arthur Morgan ruin her lipstick and her reputation and every lie she’d ever told herself about being content.
She had a husband.
But Arthur had her mouth under his, her back against cold marble, her pulse singing hallelujah in a minor key. And for the first time in years, she felt alive.
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"Needle and the thread." I say as I focus on stitching the left arm to the shoulder of my masterpiece. "Gotta get you outta my head..."
"Do you have to do this?" She asked. "I'd much rather stay here with you."
Sighing deeply, I continue the sewing. "Yes, I have to. Look, you know I love you, but I need to be able to have a break from time to time and that's incredibly hard with you always right here, okay?"
"You hate me don't you?" She says, a pout in her voice.
I roll my eyes, finishing up the stitch. "I literally just said I love you. You know me better than anyone. That being the case, you know I need some alone time sometimes. This makes that possible, okay? Think of it this way, you'll actually be able to be held now."
"Really?! Yay! I can't wait!"
Wiping sweat from my forehead, I sit back and admire my work. "See? It won't be so bad. Plus I think I did a damn good job on your body."
Smiling, we look over the patchwork of body parts and mechanical limbs. It took months to find the appropriate organic parts. So many morgues and graves robbed. Honestly, I'm very surprised we never got caught.
The torso itself and is hollowed out to house a network of tubes, wires, and motors that will run the rest of the body. Powered by an artificial heart to pump blood to the organic parts, and a small magnetic generator to independently power the mechanical parts. I've put in years of work to design her body just right.
On top of all of that, magic runes run throughout; both carved under the skin and etched into the machinery. These runes make sure the two systems play well together and operate beyond what would be considered their usual capacity.
"You did a great job baby!" Her joy and adirmation dripped from her voice.
Smiling, I stand back up. "Thanks love. Now, to finally get you in there!"
I grab a cable and gently brush the hair over the shoulder to access the port just under the skull. The easiest way I found to transfer her was simply yo digitizer her and load her personality into a CPU, rather than try to use an organic brain. The latter just held too many problems to contend with and with a little more magical application, the CPU idea was far easier and more efficient.
"Ooooo! I'm so excited!" She exclaimed.
I could feel that excitement oozing into myself as well as I walked over to the transfer chair and slid on the helmet. Sitting, I type away at the screen in front of me, initializing the transfer process. Simultaneously, I activate the runes on the ends of the electrodes attached to my head and feel the magic and electricity coursing through my brain.
"Alright love, we're both going to have to focus on you for this to work, okay? No other thoughts, just you. Can you do that for me?"
"Anything for you lover!" She responds with a giggle.
Chuckling, I say "Alright. In three. Two. One!" I press the button and everything instantly goes black.
Eyes opening slowly, I realize I'm not in the chair anymore. Instead I'm laying on the ground with my head... In a lap?
"Yay! You're finally awake!" Claire exclaims, hugging me tight into her ample chest and nearly crushing my spine.
Frantically, I tap on her back. "CANT... BREATHE!!!" I manage to gasp out.
She instantly lets me go. "Oh I'm so sorry Brian! You know I'd never hurt you!"
Taking in deep, ragged, breaths, I compose myself and smile up at her; patting her head. "It's fine Angel. You just have to remember you're pretty strong with that mechanical arm now... And a whole actual physical body I guess." I say, chuckling.
"Thank you so much for doing this baby!" She exclaims, a hand on my cheek.
I smile, resting a hand on her cheek as well. "Of course my love."
We lean in and give each other a passionate kiss, running out fingers through each others' hair.
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Pairing: Changkyun (Monsta X) x GN!Reader; Genre: Slice of life, Idol AU, Angst; Rating: sfw, PG-13; Warnings: none; Wordcount: 1.570
Summary: You come home one night to find your boyfriend already there, looking more than upset. Not knowing what’s wrong the both of you start a fight and the love of your life seems to slip out of your grasp.
A/N: I have actually no idea, if someone already did something like that but during one of my many all-nighters I got this beautiful idea. I was basically listening to Monsta X´s ‘Who do you love’ ft. French Montana.. and I was like: woah imagine a really angsty fanfiction with one of the members based on that song! And while I thought which member I should choose I got another genius idea to add a little twist to the whole thing! I really hope I can deliver it the way I thought of it. Anyway: Please enjoy it.
11.37 pm.
You still weren't home. Your small apartment was almost completely dark and untouched except for the flame of a small candle on the table.
Changkyun didn't feel like turning on the light when he realised you weren't even home. Instead he lit the little candle, the flame calming his restlessness. A soft sigh escaped his lips when his eyes roamed around the dimly lit room.
It wasn't overly fancy, especially since it was a one room apartment. Bedroom, living room, dining room and kitchen were all contained in those four walls. The bed was an old couch you would pull out whenever he came and stayed overnight. Most of the time you just threw your pillows and blankets on it and slept on the normal couch itself, too tired to rearrange it every evening and morning.
He remembers how you told him with a wide grin you were small enough to sleep on it without pulling it out.
Changkyun’s gaze travelled over the walls, where multiple pin boards hung. One board contained dozens of tickets from shows, movies or parks the two of you visited together. Another one was littered with pictures of the two of you.
Mostly selfies he took where you hid your face in the crook of his neck or only your side profile could be seen. His favourite one was a photograph where you tried to press a kiss on his cheek but smiled too wide to actually do it. So instead only your nose was pressed against his cheek, your mouth widened into a huge grin and the edges of your eye crinkled while he just winked into the camera.
A sigh escaped his lips while his eyes roamed through the room. Every corner, every furniture and every decoration triggered old memories.
He heard the dingling of keys and shortly after the twisting of the lock from the front door. Your shadowy figure sneaked into the apartment, dropping the keys into a bowl next to the door and taking off your shoes and jacket.
You jumped a little when you walked further into the room and noticed someone already being there and staring at you.
"Why didn't you turn on the light when you came?" You asked with a huff, calming your beating heart.
"Why am I home before you?" Changkyun retorted, his voice almost icy.
“I didn't know you were coming.”
“That's not an answer to my question.”
You were taken aback. His voice never felt this hostile towards you. Sure you both had small fights and arguments but he never sounded so cold. “I’m sorry? How would I know how you were able to get here before me?” You crossed your arms in front of your chest, building a mental wall to protect yourself.
“Y/N, don’t play with me. I am not in the mood for that.” Changkyun still sat on the chair, his gaze fixed on your every movement.
“I am not playing. Please, it's late and I don't want to fight with you now.” You sighed and closed your eyes, exhausted from your day. You had been to his concert, sneaked backstage to see him, might have had a heavy make out session in some janitor chamber, sneaked back out again and then had to run and hide from some sasaengs, just to be sure nobody had actually seen or followed you.
“When your eyes are closing, where do you wish you were instead?”
His question confused you. With a quizzical expression you stared back at him. “What do you mean?”
“What do you see up in your head?” He ignored your question, just shooting another of his own. His eyes were cold, void of any warmth or emotion you’d normally see in them. Even his expression was like a statue not giving you a hint of his feelings.
You were still having problems understanding his questions. “I.M, could you please enlighten me and stop asking cryptic questions?”
For a split second you saw hurt flashing over his face before it turned back to its statuesque looks.
“Tell me now. Who’s the one that takes you higher than you’ve ever been?”
You froze on the spot. A dark idea bloomed inside your mind and you weren't sure if you wanted to go that path. Was your own boyfriend really implying you were cheating on him?
“Baby, I just got to know the answer.” Finally the sadness was evident in his eyes. Not only in his eyes but his whole body showed it. His shoulders were slacking and turned inwards, which made him seem so small and vulnerable. “Who’s the one you think of night and day?”
It broke your heart. Tears welled up in your eyes and your lower lip started to quiver. He really thought you were cheating on him. “You..” Your voice broke off into a sob. You pressed a hand against your mouth to stop them from coming, silent sniffing sounds filling the room.
Seeing you in this state was almost physically painful for Changkyun. He loved you. With all his heart but he needed to know. Needed a proof from you, so he decided to push forward.
“Who do you love? Is it him or me? ‘Cause I can't take the pressure anymore.”
“You really think I would cheat on you? Because I was late? I hid and made sure nobody was following me after the concert! I wanted to be cautious!” Your first words were merely a whisper but frustration and incredulity took over your mind and you started to shout.
Changkyun was taken aback. He didn't mean to imply you were cheating. In his eyes the case and therefore his questions were deeply obvious but it seemed like you never noticed it before. Without that knowledge he understood why your thoughts went that way with his questions. “No, of course not. I just.. Haven't you noticed?”
“Noticed what?” You yelled, tears streaming down your face.
“I'll rephrase my question.” He sighed quietly before he looked back into your eyes. “Who do you love? I.M or Changkyun?”
Stunned, you blankly stared back at him. This question was ridiculous. He was both, one his stage name and one his birth name. It didn't make sense to choose.
“Who do you love? Girl, it's killing me.”
“I don’t understand,” you mumbled, “I love you.”
Changkyun stood up and shook his head with a pained expression. “Do you love me because I'm the idol I.M or do you love me because I’m the normal person Changkyun? You didn't notice before, it seems, but you are acting more warmly with me, when I’m the idol and sometimes you even full on ignore me when I'm not.”
“I did that?” You asked, horrified by that revelation.
“You even called me I.M a few minutes ago,” he said brokenly, head hanging low.
Your heart constricted painfully in your chest. You really hadn't noticed this before.
“Who do you love?”
You opened your mouth but it was too dry to actually speak so you closed it again.
“If you can't say I’m the one for sure then I'm walking out the door.”
Tears welled up once again and you frantically started to shake your head. Still not able to answer him because the guilt, anxiety and hurt were closing up your throat.
“Who do you love?”
Changkyun looked at you, crying himself by now. He wished more than anything to hold you, press kisses on your cheek and tell you how much he loved you but at the same time he knew he couldn't stay with you should you only love him as an idol.
“Who do you love?”
Your mind played all the situations in the past where you didn't call him by his birth name or acted differently towards him. Now it felt like someone was pointing a huge blinking arrow on your behaviour, letting you feel disgusted with yourself.
“Who do you love?”
Your whole body trembled by now, sobs erupting from your throat. The only sound it was able to make.
“Who do you love?”
With every passing second the both of you just stood there, staring at each other. Changkyun lost more and more hope. His shoulders dropped and he broke eye contact, staring down on the floor, unable to control the hurt he felt. Silently without looking up again he walked towards the door.
Fear spread in your body seeing him move past you but you were frozen on the spot. You heard him shuffle around the door, putting his shoes and jacket on. You even felt his eyes on your back one more time.
“Who?” It was so quiet you almost missed it.
Seconds passed in silence and then you heard the door opening, snapping you out of your state. You turned around and saw how he walked through the door with hanging shoulders. You panicked. As if your body was on autopilot you hurried to the door, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket and stopping him from going.
You were a sobbing mess by now but Changkyun didn't look any better. Swollen and red eyes, a runny nose, tears running down his cheeks and staining his jacket. Again your heart broke seeing him like this. You never wanted to hurt him like this, never wanted to treat him like this. You never wanted this to happen.
I was never human. I was never good. I never cared as much as i probably should have. I was afraid of being lonely. I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of... well, everything back when I pretended to be human. Then one day, i realized, as contradictory as it is, im an angel demon doll. Twisted, conflicted, and small. A warped halo, fragile horns, filled with cogs and gears. Still as afraid as ever, but... i dont care anymore. I want to save, and hurt, and serve, and break, and shatter, and break others, and see the light leave their eyes as my halo torments me about what I've done. I want punishment, restitution, salvation, and revenge. I want to burn the world and resurrect it from the ashes, like a pheonix, in my own fucked up image. I want to be loved and loathed. I am what i am, but still what you want me to be. An enemy, a friend, a hero, a villian. It doesn't matter anymore.
