Let me just take a moment to properly scream at u for that time loop beauty. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I don't even read f1/ f1 adjacent fics anymore, but I was lucky to come across yours on the dash. You really have put these characters through the grinder. In the beginning, I couldn't really see Abby endangering her racing dreams either by outright quitting or revealing her relationship. By the end, her desperation to escape the loop was evident. I think it's telling that she tried to fix things with doriane before trying to win the race/podium. (maybe that would have been enough, idk if that was your intent)
I'd be curious to know if some ideas didn't make the final cur or if you have some lore you'd like to share.
Thank you for sharing your writing. <3
anon!!! you are so kind, thank you so much for this! I will gladly bear witness to your scream
I'm glad that Abbi's character arc here makes sense. I agree with you--I don't see her as someone who wants to endanger her dreams of racing by quitting/revealing her relationship. She's actively avoidant to that idea at the beginning (trying to get Doriane out of the garage, refusing to be associated with her as anything more than friends, purposefully not-reacting after Doriane's crash in Brasil, pushing Doriane's worries aside to talk about the car and the race instead...)
I don't think the result of the race matters at all for her to be freed from the time loop--at least, what I intended was for it to come across like Abbi's always been deserving of the podium, or that it was always achievable, especially after driving the same race 20+ times in a row (she knows the circuit better than anyone!), but she had to really lock in (mentally and physically) to try and overcome the psychological horror of being forced to relive your own death scenario 20+ times with only slightly different outcomes each time. what mattered is the effort she puts in to understanding Doriane and trying to meet her halfway!
Other ideas/lore to share: Intentionally, I tried to keep the ending vague to suggest that Abbi might not end up quitting racing (and that Doriane might, also, not end up quitting; or/and, also, Abbi has no idea what radio messages were or weren't broadcast, so she has no clue how private their relationship still is anymore). I think what mattered to me is Abbi being forced to reckon with the idea of crashing/driving not just as a necessary part of the sport but as something deeply, intrinsically horrifying; the time loop gets her because she decides, even without really consciously thinking or saying it, that she's better than Doriane and isn't as affected by the threat of a life-altering injury as she is (definitely an aftereffect of the culture of motorsport, which is rife with injury/recovery narrative and hegemonic masculinity) and the reason she gets out is not because she decides to quit, but rather because she Understands Doriane, who is living in a new reality in a new body after suffering a life-changing traumatic brain injury. and she makes that understanding Known.
