#luca michaelides

“He’s… dead”.

You were so sick of that answer, all of your work did nothing to save him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to give up, you’d rather die then let him disappear. You don’t want to be comforted by a memory of who he was, you don’t want the closest thing to holding him to be his notebook, you want him, you want to hold him, you want to be with him. Why can’t you have that? You never asked for much, so why can’t you just have what you want? It’s not much to ask

Despite your madness slowly growing you kept the same smile when greeting him, but slowly things started to change. The look in his eyes wasn’t the same as the first few times, it was like he was expecting you as if he’d knew you’d come back. You noticed he held your hand tighter than the previous times, maybe it was just a small difference in the current try you were in, or maybe he knew he’d have to leave you again but either way you held his hand just as tightly

You really did try everything you could, clinging to him more, being more affectionate, offering to listen, yet he still walked away from you every single time, he still gave you that sad smile from that day, until finally, there was a difference.

“(Name), why do you choose to continue the loop?” He looked you in the eyes, the ones that looked too exhausted to cry in the last loops. This wasn’t meant to happen, this never occurred in any of the loops. “Luca? What are you talking about..?” You hoped this was all just a dream, you had no idea what consequences could possibly happen if he started to become aware. “Oh, dear time traveller” he let go of your hand, but he didn’t turn his back this time “You should’ve known that I’d become aware somehow, something felt too familiar when I met you and now I’ve realised it.”

“You’ve met me multiple times, haven’t you?”

Your eyes widened in horror and disbelief. Now what would happen? Would he disappear completely? Would he use magic to make sure you’d never time travel again? But even in all those fears, the hope of him choosing to stay remained.

“(Name), you know very well I can’t stay with you. I no longer have a place in this world” he said that truth without hesitation, others might have given up without trying to look deeper, but you caught him trying to stop his hand trembling. “But why not?! I’m sure there’s something-” “There isn’t. You know what I am, and I’m sure you’ve heard what I’ve done” he interrupted you so quickly, as if it was painful to hear you speak. “Then please…” you reached out to his hand with both of yours

“Just let me understand you, just a little bit more, just give me one more day with you this time. In every loop I barely knew you, but I want to see so much more of you, this isn’t enough for me. I just want a bit more of you, Luca” you pleaded to him, your throat hurt as your voice cracked more the longer you kept on talking, tears were threatening to leave your eyes. Luca looked at you falling apart at the drop of a hat, he knew it was torture going through so many loops, he shouldn’t give you another painful memory.

Yet here you were, in an abandoned library with him gazing at the stars with your hand intertwined in his, dancing once again. The dance you two had lost its feeling of serenity from the first time, now it only feels bittersweet due to the fact you’re finally getting a second dance with him and that it was never meant to be. This dance felt much more intimate than all the other ones though, he held you close enough that you could feel his heartbeat and that nearly every part of your bodies were touching as if he was trying to fuse you two together so you wouldn’t have to part, and you reciprocated the affections yearning to get somehow even closer than you two already were, while he may have just wanted to feel you fully one last time, you wanted to intertwine your souls together so you two could truly never separate ever again.

The night only continued to get more intimate, the dance felt so slow but it also felt as if it was all too fast, it was only when you two stopped dancing and looked at each other that you decided you can’t have any regrets before it was too late. Maybe your souls were connected now, it was like you could read each other’s minds because as soon as you looked into his eyes you didn’t hesitate to grab his face and you two pulled each other close into a kiss. This kiss wasn’t from getting worked up, it wasn’t out of lust or a desire for each other’s bodies to see what the other has to offer, it was so the love in your hearts wouldn’t be replaced with regrets when this time had to end.

“(Name…), you wanted to understand me a little bit more, right?” Luca slowly unbuttoned his shirt “Then look at me, look at what stops me from being by your side.” He pulled down his shirt just enough to reveal his chest, right on his heart was a clock mark, counting down to what you could only assume to be his death day and it didn’t look like he had much time yet as it was getting close to 12:00, it was starting to look like a bittersweet story of Cinderella except she would still be alive after that with only a missing glass slipper, and he’d be gone with nothing left to lead you back to him. “You know I hold you dear to my heart, but there’s no reversing this curse I have” he gently cupped your face and kissed your lips “Then… could you spend the night with me? We don’t even have to be asleep, I… I just don’t want to part ways with you knowing you’ll be gone in the morning…” you held his hands tight before he had the chance to pull them away from you, your eyes pleaded with his.

Now you two were in your dorm laying on the same bed, holding each other close. Luca held you with a gentle love, you held him with a desperate one, and while he held you close to cherish you, you held him close in desperation so he wouldn’t leave. “You seem rather panicked in this moment” he teased lightly “How could I not be..? You’ll have to leave me again soon…” your voice cracked as you tried not to cry, you wanted this to be a nice memory for him “I know that, I’d change it if I could”

“I know you would.”

“Why not accept it then?”

“Because I love you too much…”

“I love you too, (name). But I know you’ll love another.”

“I won’t.”

“And why not? To me, you seem to be made of love itself, anybody could fall for you, really.”

“But I can’t love another, they aren’t you, Luca.”

“I’m not the one who deserves you, not in this universe.”

“But you’re the one I love in every universe, I’m sure of it. Whether you’re ‘deserving’ or not I’m going to keep loving you..!”

Luca couldn’t help but notice tears starting to roll down your face. Is this what he’s been making you feel? He’s realised he’s been making you cry more times than you can count and this once peaceful moment is now filled with sorrow. He knows what he has to do now.

He just hopes you’ll be able to forgive him.

He held your chin and made you look into his eyes “Don’t cry, please… it’ll be ok. Just go to sleep, ok?” As soon as he said those words you started to grow drowsy, you noticed small sparkles of magic. He used his magic on you for the first time out of every universe.

“Luca, please… don’t go…”

“I wanna see you in the morning…”

Guilt filled his cursed heart as he saw how hard you tried to fight the magic he used, and the fact you were still clinging to his shirt in your sleep.

“My dear time traveller, I hope you can forgive me for what I’m about to do.” He gave you one last kiss on your head before he parted ways with you, leaving nothing but his notebook.

The morning shine peaked through the curtains of your room, you slowly woke up, your hand reaching out to feel something but all you felt was an empty spot on your bed next to you. You shot awake, looking around frantically- “Luca?! Luca!?” You nearly jumped out of bed before seeing the notebook next to you, you quickly but carefully grabbed it, frantically reading through the pages hoping to find something different, something that will tell you he’s waiting, or that you can bring him back somehow, but there was only one new thing he left

‘Never forget, I’ll love you in every universe including this one, but I’m not the one you should hold dead to your heart. It hurts me to say this, but I know there’s someone else for you, you’ll find love and you’ll never again feel such pain and sorrow that I’ve caused you’

Your eyes widened in shock, this timeline hurt you more than any others you’ve experienced where you had to say goodbye, you’ve had so many questions but there was one that repeated in your head

—•—•—•—

Within the depths of oblivion, his soul cried out for mercy.

The only action he could perform was to think. Just keep thinking… and thinking. How did it come to this?

No longer can he exist on Earth. His place in the realm of Alterna had long been forfeited. At least he was saved long ago from turning into a malicious creature formed by Gehenna’s forces.

There was no telling how much time had passed since his destruction. How much more regret he had to come to terms with. He had an eternity, after all. 

His main regret? Y/n. A curious person who he found could escape the clutches of time. The very instrument he sacrificed his being to tamper with. All for naught. How did Y/n do it? If only he had pinpointed where they resided within the multiverse in time. Maybe… he would’ve had a chance within their home world. 

More pondering.

More nothingness. 

An eternity. 

A hand.

A hand?

His senses slowly seeped back in. He could feel. He could see. Light appeared around him. That hand grabbed him and pulled. 

The body attached to the hand appeared. Y/n appeared. Their tears and their scrunched up face displayed such relief. Then, his body clashed against Y/n, right into their embrace.

“Finally… you’re back.” Y/n muttered out in between choked sobs. “Thank goodness…”

If Y/n could hug Luca even tighter, they would. It’s been years since that fateful day they parted one another in 2019, yet the same familiarity they held for each other had remained. How could Y/n have let go of the man who attempted to understand their true self? The same man who accepted his demise shortly after they met? 

Luca couldn’t believe it. How? Bewilderment was all he could show on his face. His arms hovered next to Y/n’s shoulders. Turning his head slightly, he realized that the environment they were standing in looked out of place. Where was he?

He’d figure it all out later. He proceeded to encircle Y/n’s shaking figure with the same unyielding hold they had around him. “The amount of questions I have… You never forgot me?” He asked quietly.

“Forgot?” Y/n responded, shifting their upper body away from Luca to look at him. Slowly, they smiled. “Never. Let me rewrite your destiny.”