it's a little nerve wracking, honestly. i'm very excited, but there's a finality in it that puts me a bit on edge. there will be a period of months or years where there's a hairless patch of skin on my otherwise hairy leg that will one day be my penis.

i've never been the kind of person to like transitionary periods. i have too much anxiety that i don't look perfect during in-betweens (don't get me started on haircuts), but i know that this is just the start of my long journey.

my arms are ineligible for phallo, which is more than fine with me, but that means i'll have another surgery on top of the 3 with rff. hell, it might be 5 in total, if you consider the delayed flap and debulking stage.

i feel my anxiety is founded, however. it's not because i'm afraid i'm going to regret it (which i think everyone getting lower surgery fears to some extent), but rather because this process is going to take four years in total, from tomorrow's first appointment until my penis is has a pump and head and all thr fun stuff.

that's a long time. a very long time. all of this while working, allocating funds, potentially going to law school, etc. lots of shit.

I decided out of curiosity to search for vaginoplasty to see what came up and weirdly enough I got... Nothing. Like, when you searched videos came up, but no suggestions at all??

I'm at the hospital for my vaginaplasty, trans lower surgery.