#lovejin

SeokJin:

I pick up my phone, but I don't have the courage to text her. I never do get the courage. I want to apologize. I want talk to her. I want to hear her laugh across a phone call and her spam me with emojis on messages. I want everything to turn back to normal. I need to get the courage. 

You:

I'm over it. It's been too long now. The nightmares are bad. They're getting worst. Usually he helps me with them but he's just not here anymore. I wake up crying in the middle night now. It's because of my nightmares, and it's because of the lost of him. 

SeokJin: 

I wonder how she's coping with her nightmares. I want to text her in the middle of the night sometimes just to check up on her. I'm afraid of a non-response, though. I'm afraid she has replaced me with someone else who was better. Someone who treated her the way I should have.

You:

Someone asked me out today. I told them yes. I don't know why. But I did. I might of said it to try and get rid of him from my mind. I tried. I failed. He's still in the mind, like a ghost. A hauntingly beautiful ghost. 

SeokJin:

I asked someone out today. She said yes to me. I wish she didn't though, but I'm glad she did. My mind is a horrible place. I'm dating one girl, but thinking about another. 

You:

We dated for two weeks. It was fine, I guess. I'm happy it's over though. My heart was never really in it. I'm just happy I didn't have to deceive him for any longer. Sigh, a heartbreak hurts. 

SeokJin: 

She broke up with me because she thought I was too heartless. Maybe I was. I don't know anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore. My heart is just empty right now. 

You:

I said fuck it. I'm going to text the person that I've loved my whole heart with and if the conversation doesn't work out, I will forget about everything. I'll drown myself in sad songs and books. I'll be okay, if this convo doesn't work out. 

SeokJin: 

I picked up my phone to text her, but I received a text from her first. A simple "hi." But it was that 'hi' that made everything better. It was that 'hi' that made my life turn around. It was that 'hi' that changed everything. 

You: I smiled as a reply appeared on my phone next to his name. The heart was still there. "Hi." It was so simple. Yet I smiled. Widely. Truly smiled. For the first time in about forever, I felt happy. 

SeokJin: 

I smiled at the lit phone in my hand as we exchanged text messages back and forth that night. It felt like everything was back to normal.

You: