‘ if i could get to sleep , i would have slept by now . ’ ( his daughter )
BILLIE EILISH STARTERS. / accepting!
a sigh escapes him before he can help himself, leaving his place from where he has been leaning in the doorway upon realizing smalls is still awake, to move into her room and not hesitate to sit down on the edge of her bed. the light is still on and she looks way too awake to even have tried to sleep. it reminds him so much of himself that he should feel more wonder how they are not related by blood ( not that that ever mattered; family is way more than a relation through a blood line ). he has never felt or saw himself as a parent, but with smalls it comes easy to him, somehow, seeing himself not as an authority but as something close to a father figure. reminding himself a little of his own father, or the good sides of him that he can remember, and it is what drives him to give into the emotional vulnerability of a parental bond and to engage in the whimsical and not so whimsical acts that come with being a guiding person for a young kid. not that smalls is that young anymore, but she is young. way too mature for her age, just like frederick himself was, yet still just so young. when it is moments like this, like right now, he remembers this clearly.
“kid, you don’t have to literally be like me. you know that, right?” he says, a hint of a sincere smile on his face. there aren’t really curfews for her or anything ⸺ she is seventeen and has way more guts than the doctor ever could; there’s no need to even try, no matter how he could admit to worrying when he knows she’s out late ⸺ but sometimes the late nights when he gets out of his office and crosses her room to see she is still up do worry him a little. not that he’d admit that either, although he is pretty certain that smalls can see right through him whenever his feet stop in front of her door and he checks in with her to let her know he’s going to sleep now or to see if she’s already asleep. there’s the whole issue of sleep being good for one’s mental and physical health, especially for the brain, and he likes to lecture her on it whenever she remains fiercely stubborn on ignoring his criticism ( he likes to call it ‘parental guidance’ ) but today is not one of those days, and he just gently reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder and squeeze lightly. “i can put on the kettle, if some tea would help. or bore you to sleep with my nonsense about work,” he proposes, humour thinly-veiled into his words. “but if nothing works, you can come down to the lab and just watch me work. that’s always done the trick, remember? even if you said you’d leave by the time you’d be sure i wouldn’t get mugged on my way home from work.”
the memories are well-known to him, from a time when that youngster from the streets decided she could protect the frankenstein better than he ever could. needless to say, she was right. and it was the start of a road that would lead to moments like right now, and a real family for the both of them, and while frederick would still deny that he needed the help, he is also grateful to have picked this kid to look after him and to let her have a permanent place in his family; reviving the essence of the concept for him in the first place. so, the least he can do, the least he feels indebted to do, is to help her fall asleep when she has to be up in about six hours.
