#lostsecretsanta2025

LOST (2004-2010) ➢

Kate Austen + moments of agency

Hi! Lost Secret Santa is back for a third year!

For everyone who has signed up before and knows the drill, here's the link to the sign-up form: https://forms.gle/gPLud8QEECNNxUTD8

Some info about the exchange:

I would like to first clarify that this is a separate event from the AO3 Lost Exchange run by @obsessivedaydreamer, which is also a great fandom event. Feel free to join both if you like, the main difference is that one is only fanfic based and this one is anything you'd like to make!

This will be a pretty basic fandom Secret Santa gift exchange for the Lost (2004) fandom. You will be assigned a giftee that you can anonymously get to know through asks and make them a gift to be exchanged around Christmastime.

Gifts can be really any kind of fandom content you like to make. Some ideas of what that could be include (but are not limited to): fanfic, fanart, edits/gifsets, fan video, a playlist, meta/analysis of a certain character/ship/episode/scene etc., poetry, icons/profile pics/banners, or themes! Gifts can be as complex or as straightforward as you'd like. Don't worry about if you doubt your own skills, any kind of gift is welcome so long as it is something you think your giftee will enjoy!

So basically the plan for Lost Secret Santa is you have until Wednesday November 19th to sign up, and I will send you a DM assigning you a giftee on the weekend of November 22nd.

When you sign up there are spaces for you to list what characters or ships you want to receive a gift for, and what characters or ships you are okay making something for, as well as what kind of fandom content you would like to make

You can list specific ships/characters or general things for either (for example: Kate Austen, Jack x Kate; or any m/m ship, any female character, any canon ship, any platonic relationship, etc.) please be specific and list any character or ship you really don't want to make something for so that I don't assign you a giftee that you won't enjoy making a gift for, however, try to give more than one answer, especially if it's a less major character or rare-pair ship with a smaller fanbase.

I will share your preference for characters/ships and type of content you want to receive with only your gifter, and will not share which characters you will/won't create for with anyone.

Once you have been assigned your giftee you will have a month to send them messages on anon so that you can get to know them better and make a gift that they will like!

Gifts will ideally be posted on December 24th, 25th, or 26th, but can be posted any time up until December 31st.

Tag your gifts with #lostsecretsanta2025 so that I can reblog them

If you sign up but have to drop out at any time, I totally understand but please let me know as early as possible so that I can figure out something for your giftee so that everyone gets something.

Send me an ask if you have any questions at all about how it will work

(please boost this if you plan on participating or have a lost-centric blog so that more people can see it)

"They're cursed. You know that, right? The numbers... they're cursed." "The numbers are what brought me here. As it appears they've brought you. Since that time... I've lost everything, everyone I cared about. So yes, I suppose you're right. They are cursed." "Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for someone to agree with me. Thank you. Oh god, thank you."

my @lost-secret-santa gift for @vits-timeout-corner! couldn't get this scene out of my head after you mentioned it so i drew a close-up since the show cruelly only provided a wide shot. wishing you happy holidays and a great 2026! :)

"i fuck him 'cause i miss you" 🔗 katiet | F2F by SZA 🔗

Here is a small "The End" rewrite where John stays outside of the church with Ben.

Word Count: 2354

------------------------

Benjamin Linus sat alone on a bench in front of the church, the events of his life replaying in his mind.  He examined each memory, turning it over and over in his mind, contemplating if he was worthy enough to join the others inside.  He heard a car nearby, voices that were just far away enough that he couldn’t hear the words said, and heard the squeaks and movement of a wheelchair behind him.  He didn’t turn around to see where the noise was coming from; Ben knew who it was.  

John Locke wheeled himself forward onto the path towards the church entrance, entering Ben Linus’s line of sight.  “Hello, Benjamin.”

“Hello, John.”

John offered a friendly smile and gestured up towards the church door.  “Is everyone already inside?” 

Ben looked up at the door. “I believe most of them are, yes.”

John made a sound of acknowledgement and began pushing his chair away from Ben when Ben slipped out, “I’m very sorry for what I did to you, John.”  John stopped, slowly spinning his chair around to look back at Ben.  A knot formed in Ben’s stomach as he mentally recounted the times he wronged John for his own gain.  “I was selfish. Jealous.  I wanted everything you had.”  

John considered this for a moment.  “What did I have?”

“You were special, John.” Ben couldn't take his gaze off of him.  “And I wasn’t.”

"Well, if it helps, Ben, I forgive you.”

It took a moment for this to sink in.  John forgave him.  Benjamin believed he didn’t deserve it, and yet here John was, giving Ben mercy.  You have always been good, Ben thought. A better man than I could ever be.  Ben felt lighter, a load of guilt and regret being lifted off of his shoulders, a ghost being put to rest.  “Thank you, John.  That does help.  It matters more than I can say.”

“What are you going to do now?” 

The question that Ben had been asking himself all evening.  “I have some things that I still need to work out,” he answered,finally settling on a decision.  “I think I’ll stay here a while.”  John smiled a kind, understanding smile, and began to push his wheelchair once more.

“You know,” Benjamin added, “I  don't think you need to be in that chair anymore.”

John looked at Ben, and then at his legs.  His hands gripped the sides of his chair and, slowly, John stood.  He smiled as his legs moved.  Once upright, he kicked the wheelchair and it rolled away, stopping once it hit the grass.  He gave Ben one last look of goodbye before walking towards the church, and stopped at the stairs. Ben watched attentively as John hesitates to take a step, and was surprised when John turned back to look at Ben.  

“Well, maybe we both have things we need to work out,” John said, with a smile that reached his eyes.  A smile that Ben was very seldom the recipient of.  John approached Ben and gestured to the bench next to him.  “Mind if I sit here?”  

Ben nodded, a small relief washing over him as John sat himself down.   

The church doors creaked open, and the two men turned their attention to the noise.  Hugo stepped out, taking in the evening breeze, a picture of tranquility.  He scanned the churchyard like a king surveying his kingdom; one last glance of the earth before he moved on.  He was taken aback once he noticed Ben and Locke. 

“Oh, hey dudes!” Hugo greeted, taking a step forward and resting his hands on the railing.  

“Hello, Hugo,” Ben said with a smile.  

Hugo motioned towards the doors.  “We’re all inside”

Ben could feel Locke’s eyes watching him.  “I don’t think we’re coming in.”  

Hugo nodded, acquiescing to Ben’s choice.  He turned back and headed back into the church, and stopped.  He turned around and looked at Ben. “You know, you were a real good number Two.”

Another rush of relief ran through Ben.  He leaned forward in his seat.  “And you were a great number one, Hugo.”

“Thanks, dude.  I’ll see you both.”  Hugo said, and went back into the church, closing the door behind him. 

Ben stared at the closed door.  Guilt crept back in, crawling up his spine.  “Do you ever fear that your life was a waste?”

John was silent for a moment and Ben patiently waited for an answer.  John looked so serene, the lamps in the courtyard casting dramatic shadows on his face.  Finally, he spoke.

“A month or two after the crash,” he began, looking straight ahead of him towards the church, “I was helping Sun replant her garden.  She had ripped it apart due to frustration.  I told her that I used to be angry all the time, and she asked me why I’m not mad anymore.”  He turned to Ben.  “I told her: I’m not lost anymore.

“My life did have a purpose, and, funnily enough, you’re the one who helped fulfill that purpose. The island needed saving.  The fact we are able to meet here is proof that the island was saved.”  He paused, and began to chuckle. 

“Is something funny, John?”

“Maybe,” he said, giving Ben a smile.  “You went through all that trouble in life because you thought I was ‘special,’  And to the very end, you made me feel special.  It wasn’t always something I believed, ‘being special.’  But you really made me feel like I was.”  

Ben looked at John incredulously.  “You are.” Another thought flickered in Ben’s mind that he couldn’t shake off.  ”I don’t understand.  If you got all the clarity you need, why are you still here?  Why not just go into the church with the rest?  Of all the times I left you alone, you could have easily done the same to me.  I wouldn’t hold it against you.” 

John shook his head.  ”You didn’t go through all you went through, become the person you are now, just to be left behind.  If it wasn’t for second chances, Ben, we’d all be alone.”

John shifted in his seat and his leg touched Ben’s, and Ben tensed at the touch.  They were just sharing a bench, but Ben wasn’t used to gentle touch or physical intimacy. The most intimate he’d ever really been with others was when he was on the receiving end of a punch.  

John was so close.  Ben could feel the warmth of John’s shoulder, see the rise and fall of John’s chest as he breathed, hear his heartbeat.  John and Ben sat in the stillness of the night for a while, the chirping of crickets providing a peaceful soundtrack to the evening.  

And after all they’ve been through- after all I put John through, Ben thought -they both earned a bit of peace.

“Are you staying for Alex?” John asked, breaking the silence.

Ben nodded slowly, not looking in John’s direction. “Yes, I’d like to see her graduate.”  Ben paused, and looked back at John.  “What if she remembers the island and wants nothing to do with me?”  

“I think her remembering the island could be the first step to you having your daughter back.”

Ben swallowed, mouth suddenly feeling dry, anxiety washing over him.  He struggled to find the correct words he wanted to say.  “I am… afraid of what she will think of me.  Right now, she doesn’t remember anything I’ve done.  I’m just ‘Dr. Linus,’ her history teacher, one of the ‘nicest people ever.’”  

John softly rested his hand on Ben’s knee, and Ben leaned into the touch.  “She’ll forgive you, Ben.  I know she will.”  John stood up from the bench and extended a hand to Ben.  “C’mon.  Let’s make sure your daughter graduates.”

Ben looked up at John.  “Thank you.”  Apprehensively, he accepted John’s hand and got up on his feet.  John didn’t let go of Ben’s hand, and they walked away from the church, hand in hand, passing the wheelchair that used to haunt John.

John and Ben spent the time together exploring the relationship they could’ve had if they had lived normal lives without the consequences of being Special.  They carpooled to school, Ben continued to host history club, Ben and John went to coffee shops and read books; Ben with his coffee and John with his earl grey.  With the pressures of saving the world gone, the two of them focused on simple pleasures and enjoyed the gentleness of everyday life.  

One evening as Ben and Locke were cleaning up after dinner, there was a knock on the door.  

“I’ll get it,” Ben announced.  He opened the door and was pleasantly surprised to see Alex.  “Alex, it’s so good to see you!  Do you need help with anything?”

Alex was grinning from ear to ear.  “Dr. Linus, I got accepted to Yale!  I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to tell you.”

Ben looked at Alex, beaming with all the pride that a father could have for his child.  This was everything he wanted for her, to see her happy, to see her hard work pay off.  In a moment of not thinking, he let emotion get the better of him, forgetting to keep up the charade of teacher/student, and he brought Alex in for a hug.  

“Oh, I am so proud of you, Alex.”

Alex hugged him back, then gasped. She tensed for a moment.

She remembers, Ben thought.  He released from the hug, taking a step back, bracing himself for the inevitable.  Dread wrapped around him like an old blanket at the thought of losing her for a second time.  He can still hear the way she yelled at him back on the island. I hate you.  I wish you were dead. He wished he could take it all back.  After all the growth he has done, maybe he’s still just the power-hungry leader he was always meant to be.  What was it that James once said? A tiger doesn’t change his stripes.  Why did he have to hug her?  He went so long not having any physical contact, he did so well doing everything he could to avoid this type of confrontation.  Alex had tears in her eyes.  Ben hated himself again for hurting her.  

“Dad?”  Alex stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Ben, sobbing.  “Dad, I missed you so much.” 

Ben held her close, one hand holding the back of her head.  “I missed you too.”  He felt tears well up in his own eyes, and he let himself cry.  “Alex, I am so sorry.  I should’ve done better.”

Alex shook her head, burying her face into Ben’s shoulder.  “No, you’ve done so much for me.” She leaned back to look Ben in the eyes.  “Dad, everyone’s forgiven you.  You need to forgive yourself, now.  That’s how you move on.” She went back into the hug, their sobs of relief washing over them like a baptism.  

When it was time for Alex to leave, John walked into the room holding a fresh loaf of banana bread.  “Congratulations on Yale, Alex,” John said with a warm smile, handing her the loaf.  “And please give this to your mother.  Tell her that her mango salsa was delicious.”  

Alex accepted the gift graciously.  “I will.  Thank you Mr. Locke.”  Alex took a step out onto the porch, then stopped and turned around.  She gave one last look at Ben and John.  “I’m really happy you’re together.”  Then she went down the steps of the porch and went home.

It was graduation day, and Ben was beaming with pride.  Alex not only got accepted to Yale, but she was also the class valedictorian.  Ben had tears in his eyes as he watched her deliver her speech and accept her diploma.  It was surreal seeing her grow up twice: on the island, teaching her how to defend herself, how to use a gun, how to hunt for food, how to become a leader; and now seeing her get straight A’s, having a group of friends her age, doing homework, and becoming a well-adjusted young adult.  In a bittersweet way, he felt thankful for everything he went through.  He liked who he was becoming, the choices he made.  

After the ceremony, Ben stood outside the building and watched all the families taking pictures and congratulating their children before heading to the parking lot.  John eventually joined him. 

“How are you feeling?” John asked.

“I’ve never felt happier in my life.”  And Ben meant it.

Alex ran up to them and gave Ben a hug.  “How was the speech?  I didn’t have too much time to practice.  I think I stumbled over a few words.”

“It was perfect,” Ben said.  “I could not be prouder.”  

“Thanks, Dad.”  Alex looked between Ben and John.  “Thank you, both.  What’s next for you too?”

Ben looked at John, and John nodded.  “Well, I think it might be time for John and I to retire.”  

Alex understood.  Alex gave Ben one more hug, and to John’s surprise, offered him a hug as well.  Her eyes were watery when the hugs were over.  “I’ll miss you both so much.”

Ben reached out and wiped a tear from Alex’s face.  “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the church with us?”

Alex nodded.  “I’ve still got a lot of life ahead of me to live.  You two go on without me, I’ll catch up eventually.”  She looked at Ben and gave a sad smile.  “I love you, Dad.”  

“I love you too, Alex.  Now go make yourself proud.”

Alex waved goodbye, and ran over to Danielle, giving her a big hug.  Together, they walk to the parking lot, towards the future Alex should’ve been able to live.  

As Ben and John watched Alex leave, John held Ben’s hand.

”Is it our turn to move on?” 

Ben took a deep breath.  He looked down at their hands, fingers interlocked, John’s thumb moving over Ben’s knuckles.  Ben felt like he had done everything he needed to do, and he gave John’s hand a small squeeze.

katiet - panik 😈

BUBBLEGUM BEN

My (slightly late) @lost-secret-santa 2025 gift for @darkwing-katy

I actually got Kate for TWO projects this year and I decided to keep this second one a secret since the other one was a fic exchange between the both of us. <3

I got smashed with work this month and then got literally smashed at work last week, ending up injured. But my desire to get these gifts out before the end of the year on her side of the world made me persevere.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Lost (TV 2004) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

“Is it that obvious? How I look at her?"

happy @lost-secret-santa 2025! this gift is for @spoofaloofa! this was so much fun to write and such a wonderful challenge for me to venture into writing characters i had yet to explore. i truly hope this comes close to what you may have been hoping for and that you are able to enjoy this little mess of a story.