#lostandconfused

The Time My GPS Sent Me to Nowhere 

Let me tell you about the day my GPS betrayed me in the scariest way possible. 

It all started when my best friend invited me to her birthday party at a new restaurant downtown. She sent me the address, and like any normal person, I plugged it into my GPS, trusting it to guide me. After all, technology never fails, right? Or so I thought. 

Everything seemed fine at first. The soothing robotic voice directed me through traffic, and I was feeling good - until I noticed the surroundings were getting sketchy. I was expecting a trendy restaurant with fairy lights and overpriced appetizers, but instead, I was driving past abandoned warehouses and empty parking lots. 

Still, I trusted the GPS. Maybe the restaurant was in some cool, hidden spot? Maybe it was one of those “exclusive” places that didn’t even look like a restaurant from the outside? I convinced myself I was fine. 

Then, my GPS proudly announced: 

“You have arrived at your destination.” 

I looked around. 

I was in the middle of nowhere. No restaurant. No people. Just an empty lot with a single, flickering street light that looked like the beginning of a horror movie. 

I checked the address again, and that’s when I realized: I had been sent to the completely wrong city. Not just the wrong street. Not just the wrong neighborhood. A whole different city - 30 minutes away from where I was supposed to be. 

Panic set in. My phone was on 5%, and I still had no idea where the actual restaurant was. I called my friend, and of course, my phone decided to die mid-call. At this point, I had two choices: Accept that technology had failed me and go home, or attempt to find my way using my horrible sense of direction. 

Long story short - I arrived at the party an hour late, sweaty, frustrated, and very close to throwing my GPS into the ocean. My friends laughed at me for the rest of the night, and I’m still convinced my GPS had a personal grudge against me that day. 

Moral of the story? Never trust technology blindly. And always, always double-check the address before leaving. 

Unsure if covid is making me crazy OR I’m just plain crazy. The dream I had last night was so realistic. It really felt like it was happening. All around me. Feelings, anxieties, the touch of someone else. The whole night I was in a city that was chaotic but I loved it? Very much had a feeling of downtown NYC but also kind of ludicrous. Almost like a broken Seattle, without the homeless. A city I felt comfortable rummaging around in, and knew my way around well.

I was constantly in and out of this bar that was like Sluggers, but kind of swanky and kind of bummy? Pastanovaesque but blended into Sluggers? What even is happening. Nobody knows. Especially not me. I am working and shooting the shit with coworkers, while chumming it up with regulars and snobs.  It was like a mix of all my busiest days in all of these places. Amongst bumrushing myself out of there, I ran to a broken down car to make my way to a house I’d never been too but also seemed oddly familiar. But at the same time, I most definitely haven’t been there. It felt kind of creepy, but was also somewhere I could maneuver and run through quickly and know how to escape without being caught.

ALL THE WHILE, I’m running on foot. To get to this house because time is fleeting and I feel that I’m going to be late but I don’t realize where I’m so eager to be heading until I actually got there... The weather? Snowy, wet, cold…. Again until I get to this place... It’s like I stepped through a different universe to get there, once I did.

I put my shit car into park at the bottom of a very steep driveway to a glass mansion looking house. But it’s a wedding venue, and I’m walking up to none other than Brian & Brianna’s wedding. The anxiety at this point is rushing through my stomach. I literally felt like I was going to throw up mid dream. My heart is aching watching Brian and Brianna hold hands about to say I do – but I object. Oh I do.. I tell them it can’t happen because I haven’t stopped thinking about him, that I’m so hopelessly in love with him and I know he feels the same towards me. That none of THIS should be happening because we were meant to be together and are soulmates. It’s like a movie. A damn movie. But it all felt so real. He let go of her with tear filled eyes telling me he’s so sorry that he never talked to me again because he truly thought he lost me and that I never wanted to hear from him again. I expressed that it was total bullshit that I have felt so lost, that I’ve missed so many things. I finally got to hold his hands and kiss him, and feel his hands on me…..

But that’s the crazy part I have never felt any of this. None. And I know that. I have wanted it from the day we started talking but where in the hell does this dream get off? We kept talking in the dream, and he kept kissing me all over.

I woke up more confused then ever, and what’s even weirder is that when I checked his FB. He had actually changed his profile photo to a pic of him and Bri & the cover photo was a new collage with a couple of them, from his trips this last Summer+ his nephew… I just …..