#lor hcs

As the very first assistant to awake in the library you were likely a very confused, albeit not entirely surprised individual. Working at Lobotomy Corporation had sort of taught you that the end is very rarely ever truly the end, and though you weren’t wholly privy to all the personal lives of your superiors.. You could deduce whatever Angela was plotting may mean your final slumber was not yet in reach.

But when waking up you were at least expecting to come face to face with the sephirah you can grow accustomed to.. Who was this guy?? Not that it was disappointing just mildly confusing. Sure, as you’d come to realize the Sephirah were no longer confined to machines but.. Pretty sure ‘Roland’ wasn’t on the roster.

Though this will take place post-ruina I want to give some context to the kind of bond and experiences shared from the beginning of it all. That includes your first impression to this allegedly bumbling and inconspicuous.. Guy.

Either way when you ask Angela she simply gives the answer that he stumbled in here. Strange.. but you don’t get paid enough to question it. Actually, you don’t get paid at all.

He’s easy to get along with though and unfamiliar with the history and workings of the Library itself, so it’s only natural that you’d end up getting along. His casual sort of demeanor while he walked in on.. Whatever the Library happened to be entertaining and refreshing.

And as the first assistant to wake up in this place, you served as a guide. He was the patron librarian of the sector, but at least in the beginning, you seemed to take on more of the duty of that title. 

You were reliable and someone he could turn to about questions for the other patron librarians that he didn’t quite want to ask Angela about.. Especially considering how some had a distaste towards her. You didn’t have all the answers in the world, but you had a deeper understanding of the situation than he could.

Roland’s fresh take as a person, someone whose life before all this didn’t revolve around Lobotomy Corporation.. It intrigued you. It was only fair that your interest grew deeper in him, whatever way that may have manifested.

To be completely truthful he did, even then, consider you someone he was close to, or hoped to be. He could sympathize with your position, your fate being sealed in this Library from the very beginning, and maybe that made his feelings towards Angela even more complex. 

Though you had come to accept this long ago, he found it difficult to understand himself. How could you be happy like this? He never explicitly brought it up, but there were suggestions and questions of how you could be… so satisfied with how your life came to be. He wanted to know how you could cope with this tragedy when he himself could not cope with his own.

He had always left his own life story vague and out of the picture. Most people in the city have a reason for doing that, you didn’t pry. But you were no stranger, far from it. There was something more, something ulterior perhaps in motive, you could tell even then. 

He was no Grade 9 fixer. Perhaps Angela, with her lack of knowledge of the city outside of L. Corp was fooled, or the other Sefirot (outside of Gebura) who hailed from Nests.. But as you had known him the longest you could tell he was omitting much.

Now as we know with the course of the Library he did grow to genuinely enjoy and in ways be friends with Angela, however there was still a resentment and animosity he hid away. One that you found yourself catching glimpses of (not aimed at you of course).

You may ask if he’s alright, check in with him, but he’ll quickly brush it off. Something about it being a ‘slight irritation with Angela’s stubbornness, you know how it is’. It’s more than that, you can tell. 

Truth be told, you want to reach out to Roland. You want him to be able to confide in you the same way that he has allowed you to confide in him. But that just wasn’t ever plausible, and it was a bit bittersweet. He didn’t allow himself to have this vulnerability be reciprocated, no, not now. Now while there was so much he was dealing with. Not when he inevitably planned to bring ruin to this place. 

The day of the betrayal there was an overall sense of gloom and dread. A foreboding, his behavior was different. Something was different. You hadn’t ever quite been given the cold shoulder like this.

It does sting quite a lot. To see him willing to throw away all his time in the Library, to face him like that, to at last learn why he was here in the first place. He is consumed by a despair that you could not have done anything about. You never would have really been able to offer a remedy. You never would have been able to be an influential figure like you hoped.

You were made to do many difficult things in your time. But to have to come to terms with the fact that Roland may be no more after such a fight. That you may be no more. 

The aftermath of the fight was a heavy one. Ultimately, he chose to forgive Angela. There was a relief to that, but facing him was tense. He did carry a guilt, especially for you because of his dishonesty.

You understand why he did what he did. Learning it all, what was of Angelica, he had a life before the Library, and it was torn away. You did too long, long ago. It’s easy to forget, however, when so much time has passed.

Was it selfish to want to be someone important to his life? Maybe you were a bit angry, but it was hard to be when you had a feeling that this would happen. 

He doesn’t expect your reaction to be a positive one. You were overall who he was closest to after all, and besides Angela the one most impacted. If you had a contempt for him.. Well he’d have to face up to it.

But you didn’t. Sorrow for what could have never been, or never was, yes.. But no hatred. That was almost worse. 

He knows that you time and time again had tried to lend help to him, to help him unburden his troubles. And time and time again you were shut down, dismissed. It must’ve felt one-sided. 

He couldn’t let that happen, to let you happen, not when he was in mourning and so stuck in his head. 

It’s awkward facing you. He sways back and forth ever so slightly, hand in pocket. He’s the first to speak.. Sort of? It’s more of a not-so-subtle throat clear and “..so..”. Look confronting people was never his strong suit okay. 

It’s so familiar though, that stupidly endearing inability to make conversation when things are tense. Before you know it you’re talking again. But now you’re talking to who you can be certain is him.

You are not Angelica, you acknowledge that, but at last he is being open. He is allowing you to be someone crucial to him– allowing himself to have someone else crucial. It might not quite be the same, but it’s progress, and you respect him deeply.

No more keeping things from you, that much is an agreement. You learn more about his own experiences, and his own (poorly) explained feelings on the matter. There is a level of transparency you’d never had before.

She is absolutely baffled on how you just seem to be completely ignorant of anything pointing to her status. It’s not like you’re arrogant, or aren’t observant.. It just won’t click??

When the two of you are together you will comment on how people seem to be staring at you weirdly, but it just doesn’t really cross your mind on why. In fact, you’ll even check how you look or what you’re wearing, completely disregarding the fact it might be because of her.

So it becomes a little bit of a challenge for her and turns into probably the funnest part of her week. See just how far she can push the limits until you finally come to the realization. This is the main motivator between her continuing to meet with you.

Zena doesn’t really try to hide the fact she’s an arbiter either. She’ll wear her uniform or similar outfits with that signature hexagonal pattern that seem to be a clear giveaway.. To everyone but you that is.

There was actually a time you wanted to take her to this restaurant that was really nice. Unfortunately, it was in a pretty nasty part of the backstreets, so you had to tread carefully. But surprisingly, it was a completely peaceful walk.

In fact the staff must’ve felt super nice on that day because they discounted the price of your food! That’s never happened before. You were happy though that it did when you had a friend along with you, hopefully that made a good impression!

They did seem a bit nervous though when serving, and it was more quiet than usual.. Maybe there was some suspicious activity going around? You weren’t too sure, but mainly you tried to focus on your conversation with Zena.

She finds you so fascinating even when you tell the most mundane stories. You could be talking about your laundry and she would be extremely immersed. She’s just never had someone be so.. Uninfluenced by her before, and she wants to learn more about you.

Unsurprisingly, Zena can be pretty confident and egotistical some of the time. She is aware of the power she is capable of and has no issue using it to get what she wants. Hardly ever has someone of sane mind opposed her. 

But you don’t really have a problem with disagreeing when you think it’s fit to do so. Perhaps you’re a bit more compassionate than she is (the bar isn’t really set high) and you aren’t really fond of her ways with going about certain things. Murder and blackmail are some of her go-to’s which can be pretty problematic.

At first I can see her being a bit irritated, but after taking an actual moment, she’s more appreciative. Now it’s a 50/50 on whether or not she’ll really change what she’s doing based on what you say, but once you get past her pride it’s almost refreshing to have someone feel comfortable enough to say what’s on their mind.

And say what’s on your mind you do. Honestly, in the nicest way possible, she’s heard some of the stupidest things come out of your mouth. It greatly contrasts with her very in depth, thorough way of speaking.

It’s really funny to hear you bring up news and things that she had a direct hand in without even realizing. For example, a workshop had recently been shut down for blatantly violating strictly enforced laws. It wasn’t specified what exactly was inside, but it was enough to get it transported to the outskirts.

You’d discuss it with her, ‘Man the Head is wild, wonder what was bad enough inside that it made them that pissed.’ And she would only smile and nod. Because she was there, and she knows exactly why. 

Very frequently she will have a gift for you when you meet, and it’s always of such high quality that you feel bad she spent so much on it. Though she assures you it was no big deal (cause it wasn’t).

Sometimes though she gets gifts of things you wanted that you didn’t recall telling her about. It’s a bit weird at times, but hey who’s gonna complain about free stuff? Most of her time her reasoning is that you forgot you told her about it.

One time you happened to be in the same time and place that she had some business in (Whether or not that was a coincidence is still to be determined). All you knew is that there was some form of havoc leading to people being afraid and fleeing. 

You, however, did not know what was said cause of chaos, you only knew to get out of there. So of course you’re going to panic when you see Zena casually resting on a bench, wide out in the open, filing her nails. After all, you don’t want her to get caught up in whatever is happening.

Well, you just keep being bold don’t you? Honestly it’s to the point it’s self-endangering, but maybe that’s what makes you so amusing to her.

Unsurprisingly to the audience, she is very casual about the whole situation. You, on the other hand, are freaking out because hey.. There’s people screaming and running and dying and you don’t want her to get mauled by something.

She just keeps smiling at you with this funny look on her face. You’re grateful she’s calm and not panicking but she just seems a little too amused by this whole situation. Better than being horrified.. Right???

Eventually she lets you grab onto her arm and drag her along to wherever you deemed would be a safe spot for you two. One person even yelled at you to ‘Get out of there unless you had a death wish’. Kind of rude but probably had good intentions. You weren’t really sure what ‘there’ was, but the general message was that where you were standing wasn’t really safe.

So the two of you are huddling in cover within the ruins of a building as you repeatedly stare past some blinds on a window out into the street. Weirdly enough, nothing really seemed to be happening.

A person did happen to emerge, one that you were ready to tackle if it was needed. A strange figure with a large metal-plated looking claw and a similar mask with strange vats of liquids attached to them.

Zena claimed that it was a work partner of hers who happened to be in the same area, and told you to remain there and that she would return soon after talking to him. 

When she did return, she smiled and commented on “Well, aren’t you rather thick-headed?” only for your utterly baffled response. You weren’t sure whether you should be offended or not. She only chuckled and the two of you departed from the location.

I don’t know how else to describe this woman other than otherworldly. There’s such an air of mystery that drives people in. She reminds me of an old Greek statue of the gods, and her tendency to lounge and just watch over the things that conspire helps with that.

The way she speaks is mesmerizing as well, it’s rich with detail and she’s sure to flatter you with her words. Her verbose ways of speaking and observant eyes make for incredibly unique and memorable compliments. 

Binah is very good at reading people, you are no exception. She’s very relieving to speak to as well for things you need to get off your chest. Sometimes it might feel like you have something to say, but you have no opportunity to do that. She will listen for as long as you need.

She has a very calming and relaxing feel to her. Whatever your problem may be, you’ll feel safe in her presence. The air on her floor is crisp on the tip of your tongue like it’s autumn, and it smells of tea. The lights in the sky look like stars, but hover like fireflies.

She is very welcome to the idea of you taking a nap or falling asleep around her, especially if you’re a librarian who just got out of a battle. Short moments of vulnerability like that mean a lot to her and warm her heart even if you may not even realize.

Binah certainly has a reputation as intimidating and dangerous. It can be beneficial in certain situations, but it honestly grows tiring. She’s growing and changing just as anyone in the library is. It can be difficult to manage a floor of psychology when people are too hesitant and afraid to speak up around her. Let alone with people she’s about to spend an eternity with.

This must be one of the reasons she finds herself falling for you. Perhaps you were placed on her floor as a librarian, interested in getting to know her better. Either way, you seemed to be unbothered by any rumors or speculation and instead would be rather open.

She doesn’t get surprised by much, but there was a bit of a humble shock in her chest when you would invite her to do things. It may seem simple to an outside eye, but few ask for her to come along unless it’s formal. But you don't seem obligated to, rather, you seem to enjoy being around her.

Binah has no issue with being the one to plan out events, nor does she really expect someone else to fulfill that role. Everyone always has something to do in this library, you are no different. But it’s nice to have a change of pace.

From an outside perspective it may seem that she treats you as she would anyone else. She doesn’t really verbally express affection in the ways that may be common, such as simple ‘I love you’s. She instead opts for acts of service, subtle hints that she’s paying attention to your words, and flattering you with long compliments. Very much enjoys just spending time with you and the deep talks that come with it.

If you’re a librarian you might find that the books you were selected to organize have already been placed in their dedicated spots. She tries to alleviate forms of stress or workload for you from time to time. It helps on rough days (and also means more time for the two of you to be around eachother).

In receptions she pays very close attention to your health. She understands that even if you are killed, you’re able to revive, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to deal with the pain. Ideally if she can keep a closer focus on you scenarios like those could be avoided.

Visiting the whole nap idea earlier, I could absolutely see her lending you her coat to wrap yourself in. The fluffy collar has to be comfortable as a pillow. She just thinks you look cute.

Binah herself doesn’t really initiate that much physical affection, but she loves when you cling, lean onto, or even fall asleep on her. She’ll slowly drag her fingers through your hair, or just hold onto you with a light touch.

She’s like a guide in both work and mentality. You can always come to her for advice. Sure you may not solve every problem, as some may be for you to figure out yourself, but you can figure out new ways to approach it.

The floor philosophy is heavy on the mind. Whether the topics are sad, or just described in so many confusing metaphors it becomes nonsensical, it takes a lot of energy to parse. It’s not super easy to come back from a fight to the death and then sit down and flip open a barely understandable book.

Binah, however, is almost always in a constant state of pondering. She’s willing to sit down and help out if the book is just a bit too much right now. It might come as a bit of a surprise, but she’s actually pretty good at putting things into simple, processable terms. That’s just not often how she speaks.

If you’re frustrated or your head is too fuzzy don’t even worry. The two of you can have a tea break.

Whether it's to help soothe you, or as a date, there really is no doubt she likes spending time with you, brewing the both of you tea. She really enjoys being able to physically make something that will positively impact you, and that the both of you can enjoy.

Be it she’s helping pull you out of a stressed mentality or the two of you are having fun discussing a smaller topic you will always leave the conversation feeling fulfilled.

Now we know she loves her tea dates, but there are actually some lesser known activities she enjoys too! Spending time outside, likely on one of the balconies of the library, and lounging in the shade has always been a good way to spend time for her.

Given the circumstances, leaving the library is unrealistic, and should you be a librarian it’s the same for you. That said, being outside gives the breath of fresh air and can make it feel like you’re a little less cooped up.

I imagine her as the type of person to collect different types of antique-looking dainty silverware, plates, and cups. If the two of you manage to get a little blanket set up, or a table and some chairs, she’ll be happy to host a picnic.

There’s little she hasn’t had the opportunity to do in her previous life as an arbiter, but this just means she values the moments where people make it special more. Don’t stress out too much about making the settings of dates constantly unique, because what she comes for is you. 

Makes me wonder though, perhaps she’d be interested in trying pottery? Yes it would be rather messy which might make her a little hesitant, but almost all artforms are. It’s part of the creation. If you are willing to participate too though then she’s all for it.

She somehow makes something beautiful on the first try. Comments something about ‘Well that wasn’t too hard’ to herself. You probably don’t have as much luck, especially if inexperienced, and end up with something vaguely shaped like a vase?? Whatever you had fun it doesn’t matter.

Oh boy, this sure is a ride. Now assuming from the fact that you’re in a relationship with him to begin with, you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. Argalia is very unpredictable in certain ways, which makes his actions a never ending source of surprise.

Half of the time you don’t even know what he’s up to. Like you’ll just be home eating something, and he’ll walk in through the door with a giant weapon you know he’ll never use but he somehow has obtained through questionable means??

You’ll ask him how his day went and he’ll say it went well, and how earlier he saved a cult leader from assassination. When did he even have the time to do that??? He’s honestly all over the place, but it makes for a lot of interesting stories for him to tell.

If you can keep up and are interested in doing so, he would love to take you along on his adventures. He has extreme confidence in his own ability, as well as his capability to defend you if you need it. There’s no situation he won’t drag you in, unless he’s genuinely concerned about the stakes.

I don’t think he’s very good at sitting still. Patience is a skill you will have to learn as a fixer, but even then he’s always fidgeting in some form of way. Whether it's shifting on his feet, pacing, messing around with his hands, or bouncing a leg up and down when sitting. It feels weird to not have some form of movement.

He has a pretty pompous attitude, that comes as no surprise, but he’s not dumb. As charismatic as he is, smooth words can only get you so far in the city, and you have to know where some limits you have are. He’s intelligent just as a color fixer is expected to be, if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have the name of the blue reverberation.

While a lot of the things he does seem sporadic, they’re often planned out. While there are moments where he will just get bored and do something for the sake of doing it, he seeks to spur chain reactions that will ultimately end up benefiting him.

I mean look at all the people he managed to force into the library through faulty agreements and coercion. He understands what he’s doing, and there’s a reason he’s as dangerous as he is.

Don’t worry about his smooth words being used against you though. You can tell he’s truly devoted, because he clings to your side constantly. He’s very vocal about his affections, even if it’s just to get a reaction out of you.

I think that after the loss of his sister, the threat of losing you would definitely lead to some sort of overprotectiveness? It’s sort of difficult to explain, because it’s not what you’d traditionally interpret overprotectiveness as. If he’s around and is certain of your whereabouts, he has no issue leaving you out of sight and it’s not like there’s this constant force looming over you. However, if you don’t respond to a message, or are a bit late to something it can send him into a bit of a panic.

He gets jealous very easily. He’s certainly not insecure in himself, but he dislikes the idea that you’re spending more time with someone that he considers potential ‘competition’. It doesn’t matter who, and as much as you reassure you love him this is probably going to be something quite prevalent.

It’s not like he refuses to let you have friends though. It’s just that if it’s a stranger getting a little too cozy with you for his own comfort you might step in and loudly display that you’re with him. Even if he doesn’t say anything, the way that he walks up to you, puts an arm around you, and makes intense eye contact with the person is enough of a warning.

He also has a bit of an issue with accepting the possibility of you being blamed for something. You’ve seen how obsessive he can be with Angelica, and it’s the same with you where it’s almost as though you can do no wrong. Even if you actively admit that it’s your fault, he might have a bit of difficulty with accepting it.

But if you’re someone who’s insecure he’s an actual delight to have around. He’s constantly talking about why he loves you, and complimenting you on every little thing. He’ll pick up on specific things that you may be more sensitive about, and he’ll make sure you know he loves you any way that you are, and it’s nothing to worry about.

Will come up to you and randomly embrace you. He’s in general a very physically affectionate guy, so you can expect for him to be someone who enjoys cuddling and in general being close. Overall he’ll try to at least be in contact with you at all times.

I feel like he would be a PDA person because he has no shame for his adoration of you. That, and he also thinks very highly of you, and it’s his way of telling the world ‘look at me and how lucky I got’. He likes the idea of making other people possibly envious.

Hopefully you’re not too shy of a person, or you can handle it at least. He’s rather extroverted, and will love introducing you to people he knows. Chances are that anyone working with him already knows who you are before you even met them.

His idea of dates vary, and they’re fun if you’re someone who likes risk. While he does like pampering you with fancy dinner dates, he also likes the idea and adrenaline that comes with being in a potentially dangerous situation. You might both be out in the backstreets between the time where it’s the most deadly, all to watch from the roofs above and see what goes on at night.

This idea that you can’t reach out for help, and practically anything is legal offers quite a rush. It’s also interesting to see what goes on besides the activity of the sweepers, and see who is confident enough to roam at such a time. It may be cruel entertainment, but it still is entertainment.

Argalia will actually buy you anything you want. He’s a color fixer, so money isn’t even a concern for him, and if he happens to see you stare or bring up something for a moment he will mark it down in his memory. Later on, you might be surprised to find it as a gift.

Speaking of gift giving, if you make him anything or get him anything, he will cherish it forever. Is it something physical like a piece of jewelry? He will wear it everywhere, just as he does with the object on his ear.

Now we all know he’s not the most moral person, which means you might have to be his sense of reason. That is if you want to be, if you’re feeling like throwing everything to the wind then that’s another story. Point is, he’ll listen to you and perhaps consider more humane ways if it makes you happy.

He can’t stand the silence, and I believe that when all is quiet it both irritates and slightly causes a panic in him. It’s the reason his earpiece makes noise, after all. However if he loses it for some reason, the best thing you can do to comfort him is just hold a conversation.

He loves the sound of your voice, it’s actually something that can soothe him and put him to sleep given the right circumstances. He may ask you for a favor if things seem to be a bit too quiet, and just ask you to read something to him.

It’s one of the most calm states you’ll see him in. There is no sly smile he has on his face, nor sudden gestures or movements he makes, but instead just a really tired expression as he dozes off to bed.

Just saying that this man will cling onto you for dear life while you two sleep. He will not let go, so once you’ve settled down in the same bed you must be committed to staying there.

This is a man who loves nothing more than the comfortability of resting on some soft surface alongside you. Work can be exhausting for both of you, so what better way to destress than just enjoy each other's company?

He’s totally physically affectionate if you’re fine with it, and will cling to you if you haven’t taken initiative already. He thinks he’s discreet about this, holding onto you and slowly pulling you closer. He is not.

Make sure you don’t overheat though, he clings close and he’s quite warm, he’s practically a radiator. This shouldn’t be an issue if you’re used to it, you’re someone who’s cold yourself, or the blankets are thinner but it seriously feels like you’re holding a heat lamp.

I imagine he holds quite firm too, even if he’s not like squeezing you he may have an arm draped over you and it feels like a 30 ton rock. He has no problem moving it himself, but this becomes an issue when he falls asleep.

Speaking of sleeping, he is completely out of it when he hits the bed. You’d think that as a fixer there would be a bit more of a balance in how heavy he sleeps in the case he needs to wake up for an emergency, but apparently not.

The only cases he’ll snap up is when there’s actually something wrong, or if he’s having a nightmare. You’ll often be there to gently shake him awake and help comfort him if it’s the latter.

So this leaves you really with three options if he ends up dozing off. Option 1: accept your fate and fall asleep. Option 2: accept your fate and stay up until he wakes up or shifts so you can get free. Option 3: Force him awake enough to at least flip over and set you free.

Roland’s hands are on the rougher side from all the combat he’s experienced, but they’re still oddly soft? Specifically near the palm of the hand, it might be because he’s just really careful with his touch, but that area seems particularly smooth.

He also has a soothing smell. It’s not anything grand or expensive, but something strong wouldn’t fit as well with his personality. It’s subtle, natural, and clean. It might not even be something he puts on either, it could very well just be the shampoo and soap of a shower.

He’s a blanket hog. If you end up falling asleep all you will open your eyes to is the covers on your side of the bed completely torn off and him tangled in them. It honestly looks like he was trying to fight the blankets.

If you are one too, this becomes an unconscious competition to see who can snag the most of the covers. If it evolves, you two might have to actually get separate sheets just so you aren’t tearing them off each other all the time.

I feel like you won’t have to worry about this as much when cuddling. He just likes having something to hold, so his substitute for you are the blankets. Good thing you are there most of the time because he will hold onto you soundly.

He shifts around a lot when unconscious, might even end up in completely different directions when he wakes up.

I can see him very rarely waking up with just one limb completely off the side of the bed, or sticking up in the air. It’s funny for you to see, but not so much for him because it probably means that limb is going to be sore or asleep for a while.

I think that he would be the more likely one to have his arms wrapped around you. Not necessarily because he has a preference for who is who, but because he just likes being able to face you and know you’re there. It’s absolutely wonderful if you too like to hug him as well, but he just has a dislike towards completely facing away when you’re trying to sleep.

While the prior writing mainly describes cuddling when you’re both done with the day, there are brief moments when you two will just hold each other in your arms. If it’s an exhausting day, or you just happen to feel happy and want to express it there’s nothing stopping you.

There’s likely places to sit around in the floor of general works, especially considering what the other floors look like, so all you have to do is find one and settle down.

I can see just sitting at a couch in front of Roland, his arms reaching over your shoulders and connecting with your hands as his head rests on yours and he closes his eyes.

Though if you happen to be taller, or just want to attempt it, I can totally see him being fine with you being the one to clasp your arms around him. He doesn’t care how, he just likes to be near or alongside you.

He has no issue with making conversation, I mean who would when it’s someone they care about, but he’s also perfectly fine with being content in silence. Sometimes there’s something special to just taking each other in and allowing a moment to breathe.

Speaking of breathing, you’ll be able to feel the slow and soft raise of his chest and it’s just such a soothing thing. It’s like you’re able to feel each other's relaxation and that in turn makes you more calmer.

If ever you’re getting emotional yourself he’ll let you bury your face into him. He doesn’t care if it gets his suit messy, it wasn’t like he was going for some extremely elaborate physical appearance anyways. His focus is just on you and helping you recover.

His words do help a lot, but so does just him being there. You can faintly hear his heartbeat, and just the steady rhythm of breathing is enough to ground you in reality and slowly stop your distress.

He’s willing to wait however long it takes until you feel better too. I could see him trying to crack some incredibly awful jokes, and they’re so horrid that they make you laugh anyways.

In your work days it can often be boring just flipping through the pages of a book so that you can figure out how to sort it. It becomes repetitive, and in the most respectful way, sometimes they just aren’t really that interesting to read.

One way you help improve this is just huddling against Roland as you both work. So long as you can read and process the words, you’re good to go. It’s actually nice to have someone besides you who can help, because even if it isn’t really challenging to understand, sometimes you’re just having a foggy mind and it doesn’t hurt to have someone to ask something.

Never before did Angela consider the day where she’d find someone who loves her just as much as you do. It seemed so unlikely, and she’s so used to the feeling of not being enough or people treating her rudely.

I mean you’ve seen some of the people who are invited to the reception. While many fixers are polite and quick, there are just as many who’ve tried to physically assault her barely 5 minutes into the meeting. It’s a miracle at times the patience she has.

When she’s so used to people holding high expectations for herself it comes as a big shock when you seem to love her at any state she’s in. If she’s breaking down, if it’s all too much for her, you’re by her side and ready to offer anything she might need.

You help her become a better person, because she trusts you and knows that you do want the best for her. She’s more inclined to listen to your reasoning than anyone else's, and will often consult with you if she feels it’s needed.

It’s easy for people to see her just as a cold-hearted and emotionless AI, but you know this is far from the case. She’s been forced to be a neutral and unbothered person, stifling her own emotions and desires until it becomes overwhelming.

You try to encourage her to feel more comfortable in expressing herself, that even though the trauma she’s experienced has put this idea in her mind that it’s inefficient, it really isn’t.

One way this is done is by being very expressive yourself, specifically with how affectionate you are. And you’ve noticed over the course of the library’s time it has made a positive impact.

If you’re left to spend eternity with someone you’re just glad it’s Angela, and you’re so proud that she chose to break the cycle of suffering through giving up her freedom.

It’s obviously not something easy to do, I mean she’s come all this way for this one goal, but through all she learned she figured that there has to be a better way for it to be done.

Her skin is very soft and feels like silicone, and you love it. You will hold her hand tightly and drag her around and talk passionately about the things you enjoy doing.

And she will listen to everything that you have to say so carefully. She has an infinite memory but you can bet there’s a whole file cabinet just for the things you say and do that she loves.

Angela is actually so smart and you’re enamored with her. She gets flustered because the people around her know that these things are just normal for her, so they never acknowledge it, but you absolutely do every second you can get.

She can just translate any language?? In seconds??? THAT'S SO IMPRESSIVE. I mean you can take a whole language class for years and still hardly feel confident in what you’re saying.

She offers to help with anything you’re learning too, if you just have a hobby or personal interest that needs some form of learning that she knows well then she will volunteer.

Also her memory is impeccable. Sometimes you’ll walk in a room and completely forget what you’re doing and she’ll come up behind you and help you remember.

Okay there’s probably not a lot of situations where you need to do math in a library, or when you’re fighting for your life, but you’re still so enchanted by the fact she can just do it so easily and in such an instant??

Like say for some reason you need to solve something or someone asks you something and all the memories come flooding back where you’ve been stuck in school trying to figure out the answers.

And then your savior comes up from behind you and answers for you and you’re like oh my lord sweep me off my feet already.

Or better yet, you’ll sweep her off of hers.

She loves making new discoveries with you. There’s so much that other people have experienced that she hasn’t had the chance to, and her go-to for a partner to bring along is you.

She’ll often ask you questions if you’re comfortable about what your life was before Lobotomy Corporation. If you have any traditions, culture, or stories from where you came she’d love to hear.

One day she hopes that maybe she’ll be able to experience it herself, but she’s also satisfied with just hearing you describe it.

You listen to any rants she has and you’re glad she doesn’t feel as though she has to keep them to herself. You’re honest with her, not being afraid to tell her when you think she’s taken something too far, but that’s just an aspect she knows she loves you for.

Angela has managed to build up her hug resistance, no longer being flustered when you come up randomly and dramatically lift your hands in the air only to wrap them around her. But there’s a few tricks still left up your sleeve.

She does short circuit when you kiss her, and it’s usually not just one, it's usually a bunch of small individual pecks. Her heart flutters and she blinks as you barrage her with affection.

Her only reaction is to turn to look at you, moments after she holds you tighter as a way to return it. How’s she supposed to respond? No amount of script reading or training can prepare her for this.

A lot of the time this will also happen when you just get so happy or excited about something that your only way to express it is giving her a peck on the cheek. You continue to talk about whatever it was you were originally, and she’s left with her mouth open touching her cheek where you kissed it.

If it could, her face would turn red and start burning.

She never had any romantic experiences prior, she never talked about the possibility of being married or having a relationship or dating someone because it was always out of the question for her.

So it’s not surprising to see her react as though she’s never experienced something like this before, because she hasn’t.

You’re a little bit evil though because sometimes you purposely sneak up on her and bombard her with your affections just to see her reaction. It is a little entertaining.

Occasionally she will return the favor. If you’re working she might come up to you and plant a kiss on your cheek or head. It immediately makes you perk up because it’s a rare but welcome experience.

She also doesn’t really have that much shame in PDA. It would definitely get a reaction out of the reserved woman, but it’s not like she’d tell you to genuinely stop.

It’s only when some of the other patron librarians make light hearted comments about it does she have it set in that yes, everyone can see it. She tells them not to speak of it or she’ll cut their arms off. Some things never change.

To people who do not know her well, Xiao can come off as very distant and calloused. This especially tends to be people’s first interpretation of her when they meet her while working. A Liu Association Director as unmovable and determined as can be.

She doesn't want to come off as rude though. Direct, maybe, but appreciative. She is aware of her reputation and to make up for this, especially in everyday settings, she tries to be as respectful as possible.

But because of her tone this can come across as forceful in a way. Not because it’s fake, but like it’s more a command than anything. When she says to the grocery clerk, “Have a good day.” It doesn’t sound like a suggestion, it sounds like her saying “You WILL have a good day.”

Very passive aggressive in an accidental way. This is especially represented in last minute sticky notes scrambled out for other Liu Association members to see. She worries that people will take it in the wrong way, but instead her subordinates just find it funny.

Struggles with figuring out how technology works. Not in the grandma way, but in a way that makes things a bit more difficult if she’s out of her comfort zone. She’ll continue trying to fix things herself though until someone steps in or she finds a solution.

I feel like if she’s guiding or teaching someone it would have to be through physically showing whatever it is. It’s not that she can’t explain what they need to do, but when she does it’s often very complex and not very processible information. She is aware of this, so she tries to help others through other ways.

Avoids people she knows if she sees them in public, especially if they’re from work. It isn’t as though she doesn’t like them or talking to them, it’s just that it's in a different setting and formality and she has no clue what to expect. She often has a goal in mind for what she’s doing when she’s out of the house and she doesn’t want to be sidetracked.

I feel like Xiao would like going to concerts. The kind with bright colorful lights and where everyone is just enjoying themselves alongside the music. She goes there for the atmosphere. You hardly ever have so many strangers just so loose and relaxed in the city, it’s a nice change of pace. 

Speaking of said concerts, she doesn’t really go based on what artist is playing, just whatever will be the funnest. Because of this, she ends up experiencing all types of genres than she didn’t even know before. Some of the songs she in particular ends up liking 100% get played in the car, and often people are very surprised with her music taste.

Doesn’t really have a sense of style. Now hear me out, this does not mean she dresses bad or looks bad in any means, we all know that’s not true. However, her closet is just filled with the same colored clothes (typically black or gray) with little variation. You got the 4 suits, and maybe some sweaters, but that’s about it.

She’s a morning person and doesn’t really like taking naps, but has grown really efficient at them. Being in the Liu association especially when it comes to tough combat situations means that getting rest can be quite difficult most of the time, so she’s learned how to very quickly fall asleep.

A light sleeper when she’s napping as one would need to be in potentially dangerous situations, or in areas where you might be needed to immediately jump into responding. It’s never a satisfying or fulfilling sleep though.

She has a huge collection of various board games that are shoved away in a cabinet in her house. Every time there is a mission that causes her to relocate to some place temporarily, in free time she’ll visit any stores that sell any physical games.

Often she’ll leave particular ones she thinks have an interesting concept at work for employees to play if they’re interested. Sometimes being an association member means working a lot of overtime, so at the very least they have some type of entertainment.

Always has to have something to do, very much always on the go. If there isn’t something planned or an idea she has in mind, she feels lazy. This helps keep her energy levels high. That said, has a low social battery, so much of what she does are tasks on her own, or with people she is close with.

Unfortunately this can come with some additional stress, even though she considers the pros better than the cons. She’s actually pretty good with finding ways with managing this though, and often sets up regular meetings with an acupuncturist whom she finds helps with her mood.

Regularly keeps her workplace stocked with caffeine for her and other people. Whether it’s through tea, coffee, or some other drink it will honestly be more difficult to find something that is uncaffeinated. Anyone is open to helping themselves.

She feels really bad when she has to bring bad news to her colleagues, and will attempt to tread carefully when breaking it to them. There’s a lot in her head she’d like to say, but she just can’t really find the words to say them. I think those that are often working with her know the sorrow she feels, they can see it in her eyes.

When holidays come around in the office she doesn’t participate too much in them. You can typically find her sitting to herself, maybe with Lowell. That said, there is one thing that has become absolute tradition: she brings the food. Something about the way she bakes treats is iconic amongst the Liu South Section.

Whenever it’s someone’s birthday she gets a card for them and leaves a little note. As she isn’t the best with expression, the note isn’t really special, but what is are the small doodles she often leaves behind. They aren’t particularly good but that’s what makes them adored and loved.

She doesn’t actually understand why her little drawings have become such a favorable thing among her colleagues. She’s not really an artist and she did them in like a couple minutes, yet here they are showing off to each other their cards.

Wants to get better at cooking, for as good as she is at baking and decorating, making actual meals.. Well she can make food of the same type. Xiao just doesn’t really have experience in making other types of food, and she wants to expand that skill.

When you call him over saying that you want to make something with him, he’s very welcoming to the idea!  This poor man foolishly thinks that this is going to be a fun little get together where the two of you can just spend time together. He is wrong.

Everything seems normal at first. You get out ingredients, set them on the table, and set up a video for the both of you. Roland sees nothing wrong with that, even if he prefers following written recipes he understands the benefit that comes with exactly knowing what to do.

The only suspicious thing is the way you keep glancing over to him, and he is soon to find out why. The way his expression seems to morph into distress, concern, and repulsion will forever be framed in your mind.

Oh but you play the part of feigning innocence, and you play the part well. You want to laugh, but not yet, not until he truly believes that this is what you want to cook with him.

Now he likes cooking, but he’s far from calling himself a master chef. This however, no matter how dressed up or fancy you can make it look, feels wrong. It’s enough to make a cook from District 23 cry, and they’re no stranger to uncanny recipes.

He turns to you with the most torn expression possible, only uttering “This is a joke, right?” He needs some form of reassurance to confirm that you’re not creating whatever… that is.

You remain silent, staring him dead in the eyes, doing your best to hold a straight face. Now he’s starting to grow worried because he can’t tell your intentions anymore.

The guy starts backpedaling on his statement, worried that he may have sounded a bit harsh and you really wanted to spend your time making some.. Anomalous dishes.

The moment you give into laughter you reveal that no, you are not going to attempt creating the absolutely horrid and likely physically damaging food. You aren’t going to contract salmonella, and you aren’t going to eat a plate of char.

The amount of relief on this man's face. You know it’s bad because he lets out the largest sigh, like he’s gasping for air. It’s as if some extreme weight is ripped from his consciousness, that weight being the knowledge that he possibly could have had to consume that.

Roland tries to be nice, he really does. As he himself grew up in the backstreets, he acknowledges that having something to eat isn’t always easy or possible. Because of that, you might have to put together some unsavory combinations. It might even turn into a comfort food! Hell, he definitely has some childhood snacks with questionable combinations, it’s definitely not the best for you but it brings back memories.

But for the people who are fully capable of cooking practically anything they desire, and decide to go with this, well he has no pity for them. He is a bit curious though as to what could bring someone to do this.

Now that the secret is out, you can enjoy exposing him to oh so many more videos. From people who serve rice raw, to people who don’t understand what the correct amount of salt is, and even someone who failed to prepare pufferfish, you saw it all.

Morbid curiosity did set in for that last one though. The two of you checked the channel, and turns out there were no more posts. Chances are they either ate the fish and died, or they served it to someone else who ate the fish and died. Should it be the latter, you can only hope it wasn’t someone important they were serving.

The videos are vile from a chef’s standpoint, but it’s something you just can’t seem to stop watching. It draws you in like a terrible reality TV show, and stops you from turning away. Instead of dramatic reveals and fights though you have the ability to try and predict what mistakes happen next.

While it can be easy to spot when someone is making something just for shock factor, there are some individuals who really seem committed to the craft. Roland doesn’t understand, and has a genuine drive to find out why.

Don’t be surprised if your watching time is interrupted by him desperately trying to look through the account to see if there is some sort of evidence or pointers as to what’s going on. He is no detective, but he is committed and sometimes that’s enough.

In the end he settles with the answer that either people have never eaten anything besides what they’ve made, or there’s some mass distortion at hand that's making people’s tastes awful. 

I mean there’s bloodfiends who eat people, how unlikely is it that there is something altering taste buds??? Now he doesn’t know what sort of emotional stress or trauma would cause that, but it’s a possibility!

Roland likens the food to something you’d see in the abnormalities of the floor of language. He is not wrong. He says that it’s actually from L Corp, but before it fell it breached containment and is now on the loose on the streets of the city.

While originally this began with him being completely distraught at what you’ve shown him, it’s now led into the two of you making extremely dumb conspiracy theories about the city.

Raw spaghetti mince meat is the result of a developing new singularity?? Start gathering the evidence. What if instead of bad taste being the distortion.. The food was the distortion? The two of you know it’s dumb but you’re having fun making completely wild scenarios.

Now Roland is a relatively well-behaved, trustworthy guy that stays out of trouble, that is for the most part. However he can absolutely not deny the urge to prank some of the other librarians by creating some of these concoctions and serving it to them as a gift.