#long text

This is my first dive into my love of animation, and what better of a first post than what truly sparked this interest of mine? Carmen Sandiego.

2019, I was about 9-10 years old. I had watched plenty of shows previously such as She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, etc. Animation had always been a big fascination of mine, but more for the pretty colours. Carmen Sandiego unlocked something deeper inside me. A bit of important background information, I used fiction to cope with reality, and was a form of escapism. As someone who always felt trapped, seeing Carmen being able to explore the world and see all these gorgeous and culturally significant buildings and places was so... special to me. It resonated deep with 9 year old me.

The contrast of B&W with the pop of red was such a stunning visual I didn't know was possible at my small age, and the music choice made me want to create as well. The storytelling, the plot, the depth of characters and their backstories made it feel real. It helped me escape my reality into a somewhat real reality, or at least still based in our world. The way it was lineless made it soothing, and not too overstimulating, but the bright colours still kept me engaged. I could go on and on about the design choices.

So what does this have to do with my future? The moment I finished Carmen Sandiego I felt inspired, but of course a 10 year old with severe issues wouldn't immediately go "I wanna do that!" No, it would take a few more years. My 4th rewatch, it clicked. I wanted to do this. I wanted to create characters that helped other people feel seen, or be able to find respite somewhere. I wanted to create stories. I wanted to draw for others. I wanted to create joy through the only medium I knew how to. How it created joy for me. So now, as I'm about to graduate high school, I'm going into a mixed degree of journalism and graphic design (including animation, my parents wouldn't let me do a full degree.)

Being genderfluid is never fully being monogendered.

Being genderfluid is finding a gender term that fits you one day and not the next.

Being genderfluid is being unable to find the right pronouns right now because it's super vague like only mushroom/mushrooms semi fit right now.

Genderfluidity is panicking because your gender has vanished, evaporated or gone from thin air, then panicking to find it again.

Experiencing a gender so unique no one else relates to it. Experiencing tons of gender all at once. Experiencing old genders. Experiencing concepts as genders. Experiencing your mood or emotions as a gender.

Being genderfluid is always being gendered wrong because of the rigid binary or trinary we're stuck in.

Genderfluidity is feeling out of place in every gender because the said genders spaces cater to static gender rather than fluidity as well.

Genderfluidity is feeling like your passing by every gender like a wandering traveller doomed to wander every land yet never settle.

I love you transfems with hypospadias or vulval hypospadias.

I love you transfems with epispadias or vulval epispadias.

I love you transfems with clitoromegaly.

I love you transfems with clitoral clitoral hyposplasia or atresia.

I love you transfems with NCAH, CAH-X or CAH.

I love you transfems with Turner's syndrome.

I love you transfems with hyperandrogenism.

I love you transfems with mesoandrogenism.

I love you transfems with hypoandrogenism

I love you transfems with hyperestrogenism.

I love you transfems with mesoestrogenism.

I love you transfems with hyperprogesteronism.

I love you transfems with hypoprogesteronism.

I love you transfems with hyperprogestrogenism.

I love you transfems with mesoprogestrogenism.

I love you transfems with low sbhg.

I love you transfems with high sbhg.

I love you transfems with tubular breasts

I love you transfems with urethral duplication.

I love you transfems with urethral triplication.

I love you transfems with urethral multiplication.

I love you transfems with vaginal hypoplasia or atresia.

I love you transfems with polands syndrome.

I love you transfems with labial hypoplasia or aplasia.

I love you transfems with irregular or non existent periods.

I love you transfems with mosaicism or chimerism.

I love you transfems with vaginal septums.

I love you transfems with hemivaginas.

I love you transfems with hymenal differences.

I love you transfems with ambiguous genitalia.

I love you transfems sawyers symdrome.

I love you transfems with cais, pais, mais (androgen insensitivity syndrome.)

I love you transfems with ceis, peis, meis (estrogen insensitivity syndrome.)

I love you transfems with PUGs.

I love you transfems with Keplers syndrome.

I love you transfems with chromosomal differences.

I love you transfems with total, partial, mixed or otherwise specified gonadal dysgenisis.

I love you transfems with uterine hypoplasia or aplasia.

I love you transfems with streak gonads.

I love you transfems with Jacob's syndrome.

I love you transfems with genital chordee.

I love you transfems with microchimerism.

I love you transfems with micro penises.

I love you transfems with biphallia.

I love you transfems with unicorn or separate uterine.

I love you transfems with ovitesties.

I love you transfems with estrogen resistance.

I love you transfems with micromastia or amastia.

I love you transfems with gonadal multiplication.

I love you transfems with gonadal hypoplasia or agenisis.

I love you transfems with undiscovered variations.

I love you transfems are close to female.

I love you transfems with are close to male.

I love you transfems close to androgynous.

I love you transfems who are close to neither.

I love you intersex transfems who are professionally diagnosed or recognised.

I love you intersex transfems who are self diagnosed or questioning.

I love you transfems who are intersex adjacent.

I love you transfems who are perisexn't.

I love you transfems who are generally just intersex and not want to or can't specify any further.

I love you transfems who share their variations online.

I love you transfems who don't or won't share their variations online.

I love you transfems who don't know or can't find out their variations.

I love you transfems who are out as intersex.

I love you transfems who are not out as intersex.

I love you transfems who are ersex.

I love you transfems with unknown variations.

I love you transfems with multiple variations.

I love you transfems with mixed variations.

I love you intersex transfems.

Very likely to be a "i didn't think voting for the leopard eat people's face party would mean leopards would eat my face" moment. Or that "first they came for them, and I didn't speak up, and then they came for me, and no one was there for me" (paraphrasing) little piece.

It is so fucking evident to anyone with a modicum of understanding of what systemic oppression means, and I purport that the obfuscating language used by those peddling transmisogyny is not most often because those doing so don't understand that. i purport that they do so specifically because it allows them to be the racist, misogynist, cowardly fascist pieces of shit they really are while feeling self righteous about it.

it's so much fucking more about their wittle feefees than really fighting for the rights of anybody, because it is obvious that their regressive and genocidal positions are forthrightly getting anyone standing at any axes of oppression killed. To fundamentally destroy bodily autonomy as a concept just so trans women can get killed more easily is not dangerous to the cis white men their ideas really serve, nor to their more powerful cis white women profiteers.

It is, however, immediately a credible and immense threat to the Indigenous and Black women faced with every facet of genocide at damn near every turn. it is a threat to trans people everywhere, particularly where the sterling pound or the american dollar have immense and disproportionate power and influence, such as on the African continent.

a single donation of 10 000£ in blood money by that repulsive racist raging genocidaire in almost any country that's held in the chokehold of britland, its colonial spawns, and the international neoimperium stemming from their godless plunder is probably much more dangerous to the trans people of that country than it would be for the trans women of britland had it been made intranationally instead.

10 000£ in england is like 5 months of rent for a 2 bedroom apartment in a london suburb. 10 000£ in many of the countries britland ravaged in Africa could change entire generations of lives forever with the purchasing power it has in contrast with many national currencies.

it's genocidal bargain shopping for them, and it doesn't even start nor stop there. these transphobes are happy to see Black, Indigenous, brown, colonized people all over the planet die indirectly by their own hand. they revel in this power like the white slave owners reveled bathing in the blood of the people they themselves genocided, just so long as some of their victims are people who they've deemed to be women and trans.

the influences they get to enjoy at home is almost like an extra piece of candy to them, the satisfying dessert of the banquet of blood and fury they soulessly put together.

4. 9. 12. 13. 18. 23. 25. 40. 45. 46. 52. 58. 71. 80. 90. 95. 97.

Hi good morning!!! GIGGLING IM GONNA HAVE TO SCREENSHOT THE ASK GAME— okay let’s see-

4.) ohh! Geez i don’t even like saying it so I’ll say it in the comments so others can have a tw before seeing it without me having to put the tag, because I Also have the tag blocked. Tw for bugs

9.) I like silent time together.. like parallel play you know? I see a lot of people see not always talking as a bad thing but I like being quiet around the people I’m comfortable with. I’d love to just silently draw with eachother or play a game etc. I myself also like to give gifts, a lot.

12.) French or Portuguese, probably Portuguese though!

13.) Where I live now, or where I used to live.

18.) Hmmm not sure? My dreams are either random or stressful/emotional. I think a lot of them come up and they’re more generally emotional ones in general than a specific reason to be prominent! I know some scary nightmares for sure though, they’re always more psychological.

There was this nice dream where I got close with someone, she was amazing and we were really close friends! Felt Completely real, woke up and I’d never met her irl. Was genuinely confused for awhile.

23.) I think every individual is amazing, comparing/putting people on levels to me isn’t possible just because of how complex each and every person is! I think the fact I have the honor of meeting each person is the best within itself. I love many people, they’re very close to me and I hope they love me too the way I do to them. So I can’t answer that, at least not with the phrasing of the question.

25.) Halloween probably. If not Christmas but we aren’t religious (well my dad whom I live with isn’t, the rest of my family definitely is) so we just open gifts and relax the rest of the day, maybe go to a buffet or something. But overall probably Halloween, love Halloween.

40.) I like a lot of people voices! If we mean not people I know personally, I like rose quartz’s voice a lot from Steven Universe. I like Marissa Lenti’s voice acting for Siffrin especially and in general…hmm.. I don’t know honestly. A lot of voices I like I suppose, I love voice acting and like to do it myself :}

45.) Depends! I guess I haven’t watched a lot of things that have adaptions of one another in other forms (well I probably have, and just haven’t consumed the other forms) so I can’t really say

46.) Fall

52.) I’ve got a Lot of favorite books.. Coyote Sunrise maybe. I haven’t read it in a few years but I loved it a lot and usually it’s what I say as my favorite.

58.) My brain likes to make things like that hard to remember! So I probably have a bigger one than this, but hm.. uhh no actually this is it probably. I can say in the comments if you want! A bit very dark though so I’m not going to put it here again for tw sake of others :]

71.) I love music So much I Cannot choose one.

80.) I haven’t! One of the few things that still scares me a lot, I think I’ve become a lot less scared of physical stuff happening to me but surgery still sounds eiugh to me.

90.) Not counting all nighters? Either 6 or 7:30, can’t remember!

95.) I think it’s really pretty and the societal expectation to never have any/that it’s gross is stupid, doesn’t make sense, and needs to get out of here. If you personally don’t like it on you that’s Totally okay, but calling others gross etc. for it is just stupid af. But I just also think it’s pretty. About two years ago and beforehand I used to be insecure about it but now I’m not and actually like having it.

.. on the bright side i finally found a new doctor and now im getting treatment for my adhd !!!

and im finally done fixing up my monte carlo to get her running !! shes running like a dreammm !!! ૮꒰ྀི > . < ꒱ྀིა ₊˚ᰔ˚₊ althoughhh now the civic is in the shop ahaha LOL