#long caption

whatever. go my shitpost /ref, original meme by nyazsche , my bsky post of this

When Chloe and Natalie were offered the chance to serve the remainder of their sentence out of the prison compound, they jumped at the chance without even hearing the T&Cs. The padded outfit and helmet now seal them off from the world, insulating them in conditions far worse than those of the sensory deprivation cells. Inside the thick helmets and hoods, they can neither see nor hear the outside world. Regular disinfection and cleaning mechanisms in their attire ensures they never have to take it off, ensures that their hellish dark is permanent. Their own mouths are kept gagged, and the earpieces filled with loud and unbearable blips played at random intervals. The only thing they are allowed to feel in their skin is their own sweat, the smooth and overtight inner surface of the suit, the unbearable itching from chemicals injected into the suit.

Even though the itching makes them want to claw their own skin to pieces, tear at sticky sweaty itching until the blood runs, they may not even try to scratch, for their every movement is at the mercy of the electronic suit, and they may not so much as scream their frustration into the gag, lift a finger, tilt their head, make a step in the wrong direction without paying dearly for it with searing torture. Even as it feels as though ants and mites and bees are swarming the insides of their suits, they can only move their limbs slowly, and the more they try not to think about it, the worse the itching seems to get. Even their eyes are not exempt: inside the helmet, a bright light flashes into their pupils, and while it is on they have to follow it as it moves on the screen, and if not the eyeball tracker unit punishes them with a shock.

Inside the suits, the temperature is kept at 37°C, and the air they breathe is regulated, coming from canisters which have to be replaced regularly, filled with foul-smelling air which makes them feel like vomiting. When the air runs low, they are directed to a kneeling and bowed position at a refilling station which also serves to feed and water them, and furthermore recharge the suits, and finally allow them to pass a few drops of waste, never allowing the pressure at their bladders to fall below agonising urgency.

08.12.2018

How my day went: I couldn’t sleep. Then your alarm went off and you couldn’t even hear it. Kyo went into this whole in the wardrobe and then everyone woke up. But in those two hours of sleep I dreamed I was a secret agent. Which tea would you like? Some cake? Please come again. I’m going to miss you. Time to leave. The air is cold. Take the bus, which one, where do we get off? Someone tells us. We walk. Hello, I haven’t seen you since you got married. Coffee? I already had tea. She’s not home yet. She might miss you. Let me check my phone. Oh no. oh no no no. I made a mistake. Noon as in 12, not noon as in 2 pm. Oh no...I have to go. I’m so sorry. Like...SO sorry. It’s ok. Make another call, walk fast. Oh. I actually have time. Go round, which birthday card, this one. Or maybe this one. We didn’t know it was his birthday. Oh. I forgot something for her birthday. I seem to be missing all the birthdays...Here he is! Let’s go in. Oh. It’s packed. She sees me, says “wow” but then she walks away. It’s packed. Let’s go to my favourite place. Ok. You can stay here but only until 5 pm, ok? Ok. One beer and something to eat. Only had tea today. He comes. I look in wonder. I feel like home but in Dianei 4. Let me text the other. Finish your meeting and come. Ok, I’m close to you. Don’t say that (unless you mean it). Finish your bath and come. I need you here. She comes. More beers. You can’t possibly imagine how happy I am to see you, guys. He comes. More beers. It's starting to spin. I write hey, you can come as well. You and your wife. It’s like that time, but much brighter and there are no candles. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who understood that. But I’m willing to make it work with bright and no candles. Just to get my fix. Let’s go for a smoke. Why do you do that? You look weird doing that. I just want to fit in. I want to fit. It’s like when you eat so much to show how much you missed them, you know? I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who understood that. Back in. Grabbed his apron. Ask for fries a couple of times. Some water. More beer. Cheese comes. These are not fries. He goes out. I take the glass for him. I write all over his stuff. I don’t remember what I wrote, but I was thinking of the matchbox my mum found me. The one with the secret message on. If I wrote about the matchbox, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who understood that. Out again. Are you happy? I’m happy? She works with some misogynistic people. The ground is spinning but I’m walking straight in front. By the fence. There are some nice flowers here in the spring. I feel I can’t breathe again. Every time this happens. I can’t breathe. But it’s been years. And yet it’s like yesterday. Last chance. Too much. I can be happy with this. That’s all I wanted to hear. I wanted to know I’m not the only one. Let’s look at the patterns. So much pain you gave me about this and now you go and do exactly the same with the Polish stuff. I love that. Time to leave. Manele. Goodbyes. Kisses on the cheeks. This is mine. What are you playing nice on that screen of yours? Another drink at home. I’ve been over myself. So it’s like because it never happened? No. It’s because it happened and I miss it. It’s like a drug. If I stay away, I’m ok. When I come close, I burn. Do you know? I'm in over my head...I'm in over my head. All over again...