#long ask

Like, they’re both widowers and princes have duties to strengthen the realm (one of which is marrying into powerful noble houses). I imagine that after a bunch of small council discussions, the king and queen gently bring it up to the brothers. Since Baelor and Maekar already have an heir and a spare, there’s no real pressure, but the council seems very enthusiastic about the idea, they even line up some “excellent candidates” for political marriages. And just like that, rumors of “the Princes preparing to remarry” spread across the 7 kingdoms, and naturally, DIL readers are among the first to hear.

Of course, our princes are absolutely down bad for their girls, since it’s just a suggestion, Baelor and Maekar immediately refuse. It’s obvious, why would they ruin their happy, peaceful lives with the women they love? Plus, the lady/ widow-candidates themselves aren’t even interested (either strong, independent types or still deeply in love with their lovers/ late husbands), so the whole “remarriage drama” should’ve ended there. Everyone parts ways happily.

Except Baelor and Maekar don’t think it’s important, so they never mention it to their girls. Even though the decision has already been canceled, the rumors keep spreading like wildfire so now the entire realm is speculating which one will stand beside the princes and that absolutely shatters DIL readers’ hearts.

I can totally picture DIL!M reader crying, pouting, stomping around Maekar’s room. She even drops to her knees, clinging to him and pleading “please, Father, don’t do this. I’ll be good, I won’t bother you anymore, I promise I won’t upset you again, just let me be your only girl”.

Meanwhile, Maekar is just like “what the fuck is going on? What are you even begging for?” So he asks and finds out the remarriage rumors have spread so far that even Dorne is buzzing (with houses already preparing daughters to present at court).

Honestly? Maekar sees this as the perfect chance to get back at her after all the headaches she’s caused him. So he goes “but this is a prince’s duty. It wouldn’t be proper for Summerhall to be without a Lady of Summerhall”. That cue DIL!M reader crying her eyes out for hours. He meant to tease her, but didn’t expect her to react that strongly, so eventually he tells her the truth. Still, after all that whining and sulking, she decides to stay mad at him for a long time, refuses to talk to him or share his bed for weeks no matter how hard he tries to make it up to her.

But of course, it all ends in chaos: tears, yelling, a full-on emotional storm, she’s crying and making a scene, he’s swearing and snapping, and somehow it ends with him spanking her while she sniffles and complains “I just want you to be mine. I don’t want you to belong to anyone else. Why am I being punished for wanting what’s mine?”

Inside, Maekar is absolutely thriving, but outwardly he just scoffs “of course you’re mine. Why would I remarry? But I’ve spoiled you too much. And where did you learn to abandon me like that? Try it again and I’ll take away your ability to walk for a week. Such a brat”.

She just giggles through the sting (satisfied) “your brat”.

And he goes “My brat” before continuing her punishment.

Now, DIL!B reader’ is not nearly that simple because I think hers has a bit of angst. She’s mature, she does feel hurt, but she understands it’s Baelor’s duty. And not just any prince, he’s the heir, a political marriage to secure support from a powerful house makes perfect sense. She’s even met the most promising candidate, a beautiful, devoted lady/ widow who seems perfectly suited to be a future queen, and it destroys her. She’s jealous, heartbroken, but keeps it all inside, especially after seeing Baelor walking in the gardens with that lady/ widow (when in reality, they were discussing not marrying).

Baelor, being as perceptive as he is, notices the shift immediately once the rumors spread through the keep. She avoids him, keeps her distance, stops coming to his chambers at night, even dodges him when he tries to talk to her. But he had already made his stance clear to the king, queen, and the council. He had also set clear boundaries with the lady/ widow (she didn’t even care about him, she was either in love with someone else or had absolutely no interest in marrying at all). So why is reader so worried? He just assumes the truth will spread as fast as the rumors, so he’s basically chilling, thinking everything will go back to normal. Except it doesn’t!

Days later, the rumors are still going stronger than ever. Some lords even start proposing their daughters to the king directly. So when Baelor finally gets her alone, he asks gently “what’s wrong, sweet girl? Is something troubling you?”

And she just says “It’s nothing, Your Grace”. That’s when it clicks, the “remarriage drama” hasn’t died down at all. It’s gotten worse. Baelor immediately tells her the truth, that he’s not remarrying, that it’s all just baseless rumors but she doesn’t believe him. So they end up in a conversation like:

“Please don’t lie, Your Grace. It’ll only break my heart more.”

“I’m telling the truth. You are my one and only girl. And don’t ‘Your Grace’ me, you know how much it hurts me when you distance yourself like this.”

“The rumors have reached Dorne. House Yronwood is preparing to send their daughter. House Fowler has already set out for King’s Landing. Everyone is coming here to marry you.”

At that point, Baelor is just overloaded “what nonsense are you talking about? There will be no wedding. I’m not marrying anyone”.

And eventually, after a lot of emotional back-and-forth, she finally believes him “really? You won’t leave me to marry someone else?”

“Of course not. How could I ever do such a thing? You are the love of my life.”

Then they spend the whole night together, holding each other, kissing, making up for all those days of sadness, with Baelor promising to make it up to her.

And in the end, both couples live happily ever after 💕 Gods, I’m being so dramatic 😂

It’s the way nothing feels reciprocal I guess. I don’t expect every mutual to reblog every post I make, I don’t expect everyone to be online 100% of the time. I’m not begging for interactions, I truly don’t care because I make art for myself. I just think a little something would be nice?? Why am I uplifting other people when nobody is uplifting me? And it’s not just me, I’m talking about my experiences but I see so many other shippers who support other people’s ships but get nothing in return!! I try to interact with as many people as I can bc I love selfshipping but sometimes it feels like what’s the point of this community if nobody is actually supporting each other? I’ve noticed there’s some really big shippers in the space who almost never reblog other people’s works too and it’s like. well okay. why are you here if you don’t want to interact with other people’s ships?? Sometimes this place feels really empty and hollow. I feel like it’s all a popularity contest and not a community and it makes me sad :( I want to TALK to and SUPPORT people but I can’t seem to find many people that want to do that same (I treasure every mutual I have that actually does want to interact tho <3 I just wish there were MORE)

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH?! I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, AND I DON'T ALWAYS THINK I'M RIGHT! YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF ANYTHING WE WENT THROUGH! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU UNDERSTAND ME OR MY RELATIONSHIP!"

(Drysdale had been lingering near the laundry room door, and after hearing Washford’s yelling, he walks in with a pinched sort of expression. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to pretend he didn’t hear anything. But then... he turns to the washer with a despondent expression.)

"Go on, then. What’s the problem…?"

"The problem is you refuse to apologize for flirting with another man while I was RIGHT. THERE. You didn't even have the DECENCY to hide it. Did my love mean so little to you? Were you even sorry?!"

"How dare you act as if our love meant nothing to me! OF COURSE IT MEANT SOMETHING! I wasn't even trying to flirt! I just thought it'd be nice to spice up our damn act for once!"

This is the ask that inspired me to create the Camellia comic! so really really thank you!! The specific reason is below.

First, something essential to understanding how the ex-bishops "believe":

The magic of the Red Crown and its ability to bring back the dead is in direct contradiction to the belief in the Eternal Cycle, which includes death as part of itself.

I mentioned this detail when I talked about Shamura's karma and why it caused the False Prophet so much conflict.

All those killed or brought back to life by its magic no longer belong to the cycle, and they all know it in some dregree because after their death, they met what is outside of it: Purgatory or Limbo.

Returning to the ask in question, and using Leshy as an example (since he is the one you asked about), his way of believing is largely "functional".

Let me explain:

The way Leshy was introduced to the cult and its beliefs was quite…violent, to say the least. The first bishop returned from purgatory and condemned to eternal life by the one who killed him in the first place...fun.

The only good thing about his situation? The relationship he eventually formed with Camellia, his caretaker. A long process that slowly adapted him to his new life until one day, oh no, his favorite mortal died.

Taking this part of the comic "the reason", which in context refers to how time affects everything (and why the False Prophet keep the ex-bishops in the cult as immortals).

Time affects everything, and being immortal can become torture. What do you do when the only thing that made sense, the only thing worthwhile for you in your now eternal existence, is taken away by something as natural as the end his life?

You suffer eternally or...

You take the hand that is offered to you, the balm that promises to make your eternity more bearable. The belief that proclaims that what mattered to you will eventually return.

This is why Leshy decided to believe in the first place, and belief is powerful regardless of your reason. The False Prophet didn't expect anything different, although they did find it amusing that Camellia knew it before the worm himself.

So, to round things off: the ex-bishops know they are exempt from the eternal cycle, whether as punishment or simply as a consequence of their actions, doesn't matter now.

If they believe in the cult's beliefs, it's not because they expect to be part of the process that the rest of the followers undergo (said, death and reincarnation). They believe (with some variations and different reasons) because an eternity is a path of thorns without something to hold onto. But believing? Believing makes it bearable.

(this is going to be a long ask so i apologize)

i’m going to try and make this make as much sense as possible, but here we go

abby was buck’s first serious adult relationship, just like tommy was buck’s first relationship after discovering an element of himself that he had been missing up until then (i’m not going to go into detail on all of the parallels between tommy and abby bc it’s been done time and time again)

but we see a certain level of disinterest from tommy towards buck throughout their relationship; when we get to 8x06, they try to imply through the whole josh glee speech thing that buck’s main source of discomfort in their relationship is that tommy lied to abby about his sexuality. even at the time i didn’t buy that reasoning because it feels a bit out of character for buck to consider breaking up with tommy for not being comfortable coming out to abby… i think the real reason was that he began putting pieces together in his mind and was drawing conclusions the audience already had.

buck was basically a rebound for abby (ik that’s watering it down a little bit but for all intents and purposes…) she basically told him as much after the train derailment, and practically had the same exact “i’m your first not last” conversation with him as tommy ended up having.

i think deep down, buck realized that to both abby and tommy, he was never something serious- he was kind of (again watering it down a bit) just a fun fling for both of them and only found out after the fact that not only had he been used for that purpose, but it wasn’t communicated to him until it was over. 

buck very much wants a full two-sided relationship with someone that he can settle down with. he knows this, and we know this. which is why i think initially, when ep 7 came out and the whole moral of the episode was “oh buck realizes he wants to find love” people took pause and felt a bit annoyed that the plotline felt a bit like beating a dead horse, especially considering that was effectively what buck’s entire arc w tommy was in s8.

now, looking at s8 and how things kind of got derailed, i think it makes sense that they are now trying to revive that point for buck if they are planning on continuing his story this season the same way they were going to in s8 (whatever that may be)

and they did that by having buck sleep with a married couple. they intentionally made the choice to have him sleep with them separately, not together, when (if the whole point of the episode was JUST about buck wanting to find love) they could have easily just had him sleep with both of them at once. but by sleeping with them separately he doesn’t realize they are a couple, and doesn’t realize that it’s a casual thing for either of them until after the fact. combine that with the symbolism of buck hooking up with the woman “first” and the man “second” (ik the montage it was intercut but it started with him going out with the woman first and he got her number first too), and to me the parallels between tommy and abby become very clear- a couple (former in tommy and abby’s case) who used him as a fling without telling him until after the fact and left him at the conclusion that he wanted something serious more than casual.

i feel like this comparison has to have already been made but i haven’t seen it anywhere and i think it’s a very interesting concept considering what they seemingly were setting up last season with buck (and eddie)… and i was curious what your thoughts on this angle are? 

again i apologize for the long ask, i just couldn’t figure out a way to make this more concise 😭

Hey Nonnie.

Thanks for such a great and in depth ask. I really agree with pretty much everything you’ve said and it’s a lot of the way I feel about things. I definitely think we’re meant to see Jade and Zane as parallels to Abby and tommy. Even on just a surface level we have Buck being pursued by both people who were or are part of a relationship with one another - specifically for his being a “unicorn” not one of them was actually interested in Buck the person all four relationships (of whatever length they were) were all focused on what Buck could do to them, what he represented and not what was mutually beneficial.

I also agree - I don’t think that Tommy lying to Abby and his treatment of her as a result of the lying was the soul source of his discomfort - I do think it was a part of it, I think it made him question if he would be treated in a similar way or if Tommy was lying to him as well (which he was imo by virtue of not being upfront and honest about why he was with Buck or that he didn’t see the relationship being a long term one - until he was forced into that confession. And while there technically isn’t anything wrong I’m not stating from the get go that you don’t see the relationship as being long term etc - especially with Buck stating that he didn’t know what he was ready for - Tommy made no effort at all to check in and have that conversation at any point during the relationships length!) but not the main source.

I also think that the glee monologue from Josh was meant to highlight all the things missing from the relationship and actually get Buck to question his relationship - I don’t think it was meant to be a convincing argument in favour of Tommy - I think the intention was always for Buck to misunderstand what Josh was trying to do, to highlight (because that is the central theme of Bucks romantic journey - that he isn’t able to understand what he is looking for in a relationship because of his upbringing and that the relationships he keeps finding himself in are as a result of that upbringing - so he keeps associating physical intimacy with emotional intimacy because that is how his parents showed him love. He is learning to undo that conditioning) to the audience as much if not more than to Buck himself, all the things his relationship with Tommy is lacking - his reaction to Josh asking if he was in love with Tommy was revealing all on its own without the rest of the speech.

I think part of Bucks entire journey, especially since the network change and he and Tommy first kissed, has been very much centred on Bucks search for emotional connection and intimacy and showing how he’s getting better at figuring out when he isn’t getting that and also realising that he’s jumping to sexual intimacy too quickly - that he gets a tiny crumb of it and immediately jumps into bed with someone rather than taking the time to really get to know them before moving into a physical relationship. The Tommy of it all and his struggle with getting over that break up (initially), for me was centred around both paralleling the Abby of it all, whilst also highlighting exactly where Buck was getting his emotional intimacy and the fact that had been impacted - and he hadn’t truly recognised that and still doesn’t recognise what that meant.

I am of course talking about Eddie and Christopher - I remain strongly of the opinion that the BT relationship would not have lasted anywhere close to as long as it did had Kim not appeared on the scene and everything that went down there with Eddie causing Chris to leave. The web is super tangled up with this entire thing because there are multiple angles in which to see the ripples of what happened.

There is of course the physical absence of Chris - that had a big impact on Buck - his internalised failure to get Chris to stay with his dad in the aftermath the most obvious one, but also the fact that co-parenting Chris is actually a massive part of Bucks identity and self worth at this point - its an emotional tether he gains a huge amount of positivity from helping ground him and feel worthy in ways he doesn’t elsewhere in his life. There is obviously guilt wrapped up in this as well - because if he is feeling this way then how must Eddie be feeling and what right does Buck have to feel anything much about it. So Tommy becomes a sort of replacement for that emotional tether missing in his life.

This situation in and of itself pushes Buck into remaining in a relationship we have already had hints he’s realising isn’t actually what he wants or needs (some of the looks we’ve seen Buck give when Tommy has said something - such as at the medal ceremony - or his lack of interest in or care for Buck more generally before the Kim thing blew up) Buck doesn’t end it for the same reason he didn’t end things with Taylor in season 5 - because Eddie is emotionally unavailable to Buck at that point in time and so physical intimacy is Bucks fail safe alternative and he doesn’t have to go seeking it out in mindless hook ups if he stays in a relationship even if it isn’t serving him.

That Eddie has himself gone down this route prior to all of this, because of the very fact Buck has come out and is now an option - his clinging to Marisol as a result - because Eddie would’ve broken up with Marisol if Buck hadn’t come out to him in that kitchen scene - it’s a pivotal moment for Buck and Eddies relationship - nothing changes because Eddie is having internalised gay panic over his best friend being an option and then not actually being available - Eddie reads Buck saying he cant stop thinking about Tommy as a rejection - he can obviously never feel about Eddie in that way and so Eddie must stick to what he has. It is no coincidence that Eddie is about to break up with Marisol a couple of episodes after he finds out Buck has ended things with Natalia - it is literally Buck and Eddie in the same pattern as we’ve seen them in since they met (well since Shannon died at least because I do think that there wasn’t enough before that point to begin that pattern we’ve seen since as they were still getting to know one another and the show was figuring out the dynamics for all the characters. I also remain convinced that when Tim talked about having to kill Shannon because there wasn’t anywhere to go with her at that point it was because they had decided there was enough interest in Buddie that they were pressing the green button on them being the big slow burn relationship for the show - I think they would’ve made Madney that slow burn will they wont they couple if Buddie hadn’t been coming over well as a potential with the audience! But that’s just my theory I have nothing to back it up beyond the way the story played out live and what Tim said in interviews at the time as well as vibes born of years of watching procedural tv!) It’s no coincidence that Eddie finds out about Marisols almost a nun, catholic past right after Natalia is no more, or that he asks her to move in right at a point where Tommy is very clearly flirting with him.

We all focus on Bucks jealousy etc from 704 - which we are meant to because we are seeing it from Bucks perspective, but its also being made very clear to us that Bucks jealousy has a good foundation and that Eddie is at least aware to a certain extent of it. We the viewer can read Eddie’s constant talking about Tommy this and Tommy that from Bucks perspective and it making him jealous, but we’re can also see it from Eddie’s perspective of him testing the waters with Buck - seeing what Bucks reaction to it all is. We will never know what would’ve happened if Eddie had been able to get to Buck before Tommy did and they’d actually been able to have a conversation about it - because Buck confessed to Eddie that he was on a date with Tommy before Eddie could have that conversation with him - which is how that kitchen talk could’ve played out had the Tommy kiss and date not happened.

There is also the fact that Eddies inability to grieve Shannon and their relationship properly is still very much in play -and how that impacts Buck, but that has been talked about to death so I dont want to get into it again!

All this to say that, yes I do think there is an element of 907 rehashing what we saw play out with Tommy over 8a (and a bit with 8b and the hook up as well) and I get why people feel aggrieved about it, but for me personally I think we’d have ended up with this arc regardless - I just think we’d have seen it play out a little bit differently if they’d been able to get Eddie to where they wanted him by the end of 8b as they had originally intended. Now we don’t know exactly where that would’ve been, but its safe to assume that he would’ve been a bit further along in his arc than he currently is. I think it was really smart to play the entire plot line out in the way they did and in the way you described - having the Jade first and then Zane second, dressing Zane very very very similarly to Tommy (all his outfits are basically Tommy outfits - right down to the black and red shot colouring of his date shirt matching the red and black shot Henley Tommy was wearing when he kissed Buck - both were tests - Tommy testing if Buck was into men and Zane testing if Buck would hook up with and then call him or Jade! And we revert to a black shirt with a black vest for the break up scene!). The entire thing was about calling back to Tommy and the fact he parallels with Abby and then playing into the fact that Buck never got given the full picture by any one of the 4 people from the outset and that his autonomy wasn’t respected in any way at all and so he couldn’t consent to what was happening to him (and this isn’t about Tommy kissing him - that part was fine, right up to the end of their date was all fine and as consensual as it could’ve been - I mean tommy could’ve asked to kiss Buck but that’s not really realistic and Tommy was telegraphing what he was going to do from the moment Buck said he was trying to get Tommys attention so that part is all fine for me from that perspective) that he was able to have that final scene where he turned them down and took ownership of his romantic endeavours is the key thing and the symbol of growth.

It feels very much like they’ve set Buck up through the parallels of Abby,Tommy, Jade and Zane, to finally spend some time actually figuring himself out and what it is he’s looking for and for him to click into understanding that he already has what it is he’s looking for. I haven’t had time to write my meta on the space arc, and how it all plots out the intended arcs for the characters for the season, but I will mention here that Buck is paralleled with Tricia who throughout her time in space, figures out what she has and what she wants romantically are not the same thing - that she is worth more than she has accepted and that she also has the tools to bring about change to her life. That’s the very brief version of her arc, but they show her actually managing to make that change in her life - from the things she learnt about herself, but also from what she already had. The shares are a metaphor for knowledge and internal power and that being what you need to bring about change. That the Jade and Zane plot for 907 also plays into that and emphasises Bucks repeated patterns is a really great thing from my perspective and one of the reasons I really enjoyed that plot (even as I hated having to actually watch Buck hooking up with people but that’s a Demi me thing!)

Returning after such a long time after finishing homework, assignments, and many other things…

I’M ALIVE!!! 😭💖

I’M FINALLY FREE!! 🫠💖

Seriously, I owe you an apology. It seems like late April and early May were not my best moments 😭💔

But it doesn’t matter anymore… I’m back!

It’s incredible that Armada of PrimeSpark already has 7 chapters 💖✨

(Edit: I was originally going to say 6 chapters, but it’s incredible how FAST the days go by 😭🙂💔).

And I’m really happy that you managed to organize yourself and create a schedule to publish each one of your works.

I’m genuinely excited about the return of TFP: Universal Observations 😭🧡 I have a lot of affection for it because I think I first found you through that story.

AND I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE you have the Transformers figures of Shockwave and Soundwave 😭💜🫶

What does it feel like to hold them in your hands? Do you feel the power running through your veins? LMAOO 😈✨

Now I need to know:

Did you also manage to get the Starscream and Bumblebee figures? ☺️💖

And just in case…

THE LAST THREE CHAPTERS WERE ABSOLUTE CINEMA 🎬🔥

(Edit: including chapter 7 ✨)

Especially the chapter from Rumble’s POV.

It literally left me speechless 😭💖

The fact that it gives us clues about how they arrived in the TFP universe was INCREDIBLE.

And as always… question time 😘💖

Shockwave’s POV was amazing. His introduction, his meeting with Soundblaster, learning more about Cybertronian species and the cassette carriers… AND THE CONFIRMATION OF WAVEWAVE! 💜✨

LONG LIVE THE BOYFRIENDS!!

WOW. Shockwave’s explanation about internal and external cassette carriers fascinated me 😭✨

The fact that they were a Cybertronian subspecies and eventually adopted external systems due to the energon shortage for safety and survival reasons… I LOVED IT.

How does the surgery work that transforms an internal cassette carrier into an external one?

And how did you come up with this concept? Because I truly love all the details you add to your story 💖🫶✨

Okay 👀

The scene where Shockwave was describing Soundblaster’s body structure and comparing him to a certain Prime Autobot while mentally calculating his waist size…

I REALLY WASN’T EXPECTING THAT 😭😈

I need more scenes like that immediately.

We know Shockwave is huge, so I wonder if Soundblaster was too shocked seeing him in person. Because one thing is seeing him through human memories like an animated show… and another VERY different thing is seeing him standing right in front of you in real time 😭💜

Now I need to know:

How tall does Soundblaster reach compared to Shockwave?

And the cassettes?

Did Soundblaster have any escape plan in case everything went wrong? 👀

Did Soundblaster almost have a heart attack when Frenzy and Laserbeak —Luxwing, which by the way I LOVE that name 😭💙— went out to confront BlockWaste? LMAOO

And Frenzy… careful, that’s going to be your future sire 😈💜

Well, the second one. The first belongs to Soundwave 😹💙

And Ravage/Razorclaw appearing behind Shockwave was TOO GOOD.

The fact that even Shockwave didn’t notice her presence shows just how incredibly agile and silent she is 🐈‍⬛💖

By the way, Ravage chose an INCREDIBLE name 😭✨

“Shockwave must guarantee the safety of the cassettes. At any cost.”

We finally learn about the promise Shockwave made… but AT WHAT COST? 😭💔

Finding out that Soundwave lost Flip Side because of the lack of energon…

NOOOOO 😭😭😭

And that he had to undergo surgery to modify his cassette carrier system… 😔💔

Now I’m absolutely terrified for Ravage and Ratbat’s fate in this universe 🫠💔

The deal between Shockwave and Soundblaster was TOO interesting.

“I will fulfill my promise, Soundwave…”

said Shockwave while looking at the small stasis capsules.

…ARE YOU TELLING ME THOSE ARE RAVAGE AND RATBAT? 😭💜

“You better not break your side of the deal, BlockWaste! OR WE’LL ELIMINATE YOU!”

Sorry, but I ALWAYS laugh at that scene 🤣💖

I imagined Frenzy striking a super dramatic pose while saying it. LMAOO.

Frenzy truly DOES NOT know fear.

The Predacon clone now growing in the base’s main laboratory was barely the size of a rock, but it would grow. Once Shockwave completed a hyper-acceleration serum, it would age and grow much faster than normal.

Unfortunately, the serum still wasn’t perfect, and Shockwave didn’t even have the materials needed to try to perfect it. So it wouldn’t grow as quickly as Shockwave wanted.

Hello, Predaking 👀🐉

Important question:

Will our beloved “King” have a queen? 😳✨

Ratchet, I need answers:

What exactly is a Cybertronian first-aid kit made of? 👀

Rumble POV:

The interactions between Frenzy and Rumble were TOO adorable 😭💖

I hope Rumble can recover and stop feeling like a burden 💜🥲

…Wait.

Are you telling me that THIS WHOLE TIME Rumble had been with them like some kind of ghost? 😭💔

I can’t imagine how horrible it must have been to wake up, discover you were a ghost, see your carrier and your family abandoned on an unknown planet without energon, being hunted like rats… and not being able to do absolutely anything while watching your family slowly break apart 😭💔

“A servo gently rested on her shoulder and she looked up into kind blue optics.”

“If I promised you and your family a chance at amnesty, healing, and happiness… would you promise me something in return?”

WHO IS THAT?

AND WHY DOES A COMMENT SAY IT’S RUNG!?

AAAAAAAA 😭💖

And the scene of Soundblaster playing music for Rumble and telling him everything would be okay…

PERFECT. BEAUTIFUL. 💙✨

Sonar POV:

“This world’s minicons are BORING!”

LMAOO 😭💖

Sonar saying that when technically they’re mini-Cybertronians too.

I wonder if the human whose memories Armada and Soundblaster obtained information from will become important later on 👀✨

The fact that the minicons questioned why Soundwave decided to call himself Soundblaster (which is funny because they practically sound like the same name) made me laugh SO MUCH 😭🙃

I COMPLETELY understand why Soundblaster would NOT want to call himself “Earthspark.”

I had already been waiting for the minicons’ reactions after discovering what Prime Starscream was like. LMAOO 😭💙

And now I NEED to see the reactions of Soundblaster’s cassettes when they meet Soundwave 👀💜

And finally…

The scene of Armada talking about Prime Starscream emotionally destroyed me 😭💔

“We only wanted Megatron’s approval… but it was never enough.”

NOOOOOOO 😭😭😭

Sonar, Runway, and Jetstorm, NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT 💔

I really love the direction this story is taking.

Armada remembered that, by his own choice, he had to stain his hands to earn Megatron’s approval and respect… and Soundblaster did the same to prove his loyalty.

Yes, I’m talking about you, Megatron EarthSpark 🫵🙂

And sadly… things didn’t end well for either of them 😔💔

The latest chapter!

I’m already LOVING the friendship between Soundblaster and Armada 💖✨

And OMG… Soundblaster mentally adopted Armada. YESS 😭💜✨

That’s all.

Thank you for these incredible chapters! 😘💖✨

P.S.

I hope you feel better. Have a little bandage 🩹💖

ITS A KATENULL QUESTION YALL, BUCKLE UP FOR A LONG RIDE!!

genuinely though, seeing this in my inbox made my day XD

continuation in the cut

But do you know how to find help? I'm at the end of my rope and I don't know what to do.

Quick overview:

Homeschooled until 4th grade, went to public school until 7th grade when I begged my parents to homeschool me again because I would wake up every morning and immediately start hyperventilating from sheer stress.

I barely did any homeschooling. I don't remember most of it (I think I blocked it out or something from stress) and I don't know if I even technically graduated.

My parents neglected me and barely taught me anything so I don't know how to function. I don't know how to pay bills or a mortgage or use a credit card or do any household chores. I have severe dyscalculia so my math is at maybe a 3rd or 4th grade level even though I'm 27.

I have severe executive dysfunction which even my ADHD meds don't help, and I don't have the energy/motivation to make food, do laundry, or basically anything. The most I can manage is washing my hair every few days when it becomes disgusting and brushing/flossing every night.

I was diagnosed with aspergers when I was 17? Maybe?

I live at home with my parents. I used to work with my mom because she had a cleaning business but after about 30 minutes I felt so drained and fatigued that I needed to lay down on the floor. I don't think I have a medical problem because this doesn't happen when I'm doing something I enjoy, only if I force myself to do things I find miserable.

I know that trying to get a "normal" job will send me into instant burnout and probably kill me. I only want to make my art and comics and stories, I don't want to be a wageslave making someone else rich until I die in my 30s from being constantly stressed.

Even though I live at home and don't work and don't have to do chores I'm still constantly stressed and on the brink of burnout. I'm so terrified what's going to happen to me after my parents pass away, I can't survive on my own but I would genuinely rather die than be forced to live in a group home where I have all of my possessions taken away and I'm treated like a prisoner with no bodily autonomy.

Even the slightest amount of stress (like dropping a fork on accident) will cause me to have meltdowns where I punch myself until I bruise severely. I cannot handle any amount of stress at all.

When I try to think about how I'm going to survive on my own I become extremely confused and disoriented and I can hardly think. It's like my brain is shutting down to prevent me from having a severe mental breakdown.

How do I find someone to help me? I need someone that's like a caretaker that can pay my bills for me, drive me to the doctor, bring me groceries, etc. so that I don't become homeless and die.

I don't want to do therapy because I cannot stand the fact that they use CBT on you without informed consent, and just constantly gaslight you.

I hate the way they talk to me, like I'm a toddler or a dog that's too stupid to understand anything. The thought of having to tell them everything embarassing about myself makes me want to scream and cry and hurt someone.

And I know that their only answer will be "We need to fix you so that you can learn to be happy being alone and independant!" ignoring the fact that humans are a social species and you cannot cure autism or ADHD or dyscalculia and I'm disabled and need help.

My only hope at this point is that someone really attractive and rich with really low standards falls in love with me and wants to take care of me, but I know that's not going to happen.

So my only option is to find someone that can take care of me (without infantilizing me and taking away my rights) and then I can just... Work on my comics and stories and fantasize about fictional characters and pretend they love me.

If I can't find someone I'm just going to have to move to a state where I can file for MAID and be euthanized.

Firstly, I would love to just hug you, Nonny, because I fully understand where you're coming from. So *warm autistic auntie hug*.

Next, since you mentioned MAiD, I am guessing you're from Canada. Now, I'm in Australia so I've had to Google my information.

Canadian followers can also chime in and correct me or offer more.

So, resources:

Support and Services

Disability Services

Example of Neurodivergent Job Seeking

Also, job wise, there's working from home, freelance comic work etc.

Now, therapy wise: what you're looking for is Neurodivergent affirming therapy. This is not CBT. They work WITH how you think.

Example of a Canada based Neurodivergent affirming therapy

I can't comment on your exhaustion levels because there are just to many variables. It could be autism, ADHD, chronic fatigue syndrome etc etc.

I can recommend a couple of books that may help, also!

And as a fellow person with dyscalculia, you're correct that it can't be cured, but it can be made better. I couldn't tell time in an analogue clock until my late 20s and couldn't count change until my 30s. And I still mess it up. So, I understand where you're coming from.

Lastly: I can't help you with finding a rich man. You already know that I'm going to be all old lady and tell you that is not what to hold out for etc. So, I'll spare you that. Every young person hears that.

But, I can encourage you to date, make friends (if that is your proclivity), go out etc. Only if you want to. Or, focus on subsidised housing and be happily alone. Both and everything in between is valid. You don't need to be with someone to live happily. There are options available.