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i cannot keep you too close, for this double edged blade is always going to pierce the both of us.
i apologize; i apologize for loving you, for knowing the way you breathe and live, for learning every crevice of you and letting you think i will stay.
i need you too much to acknowledge, a book you only just bought fitting into your shelf like it had always been there.
i need you like how the sun needs the moon, like how a car needs an engine in order to function, like how everything in this world is disastrously connected, broken when something in the gears is out of place.
i want you more than I have ever wanted anything, i dream of you, dreamt of you even before i knew the outline of you. i want you more than i can ever have, more than i want to admit to myself.
you are like oxygen and i am a drowning man, fearful in the ocean of your love I do not know how to reciprocate.
i want you, but i have long since known how to want anything, and your hands break every single lock and chain surrounding my heart with a single movement, and I am scared.
i donāt know how to love you how you deserve, how you love me. you are too easy to love, too easy to care for; and when you touch me it feels like the touch of the divine, my faith in any god that's not you dwindling when our fingers intertwine.
too much of me is gone, surrendered to you without question, and i cannot feel myself in the abyss of you and it scares me. it terrifies every one of my limbs and i start to shake so much i forget to register it as movement.
your gentleness consumes me and my entirety, everything that used to be mine now filled with all of your habits and quirks i've found through my longing to know more of you, with all of the stares that last far too long for someone who doesnāt know youāre looking at them.
and in the dead of night where there is nothing but the fear of our love and the silence of the night, you will feel my love in the heat of my fingertips and the beating of my heart through the space between my broken ribs, and we will not speak nor affirm, but the two of us will know, and you will hold me tight enough that i can barely breathe.
Here's all the information you'll need to navigate my dumpster fire of a blog! This post is pretty long, sorry!
Created: 12/03/2022
Last Updated: 04/20/2025
DNI (turned out longer than I expected, I may have over-explained. Oh well):
Bigots of any kind (bigotry towards terfs is okay because honestly fuck them.) THIS INCLUDES: Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia, any kind of hatred AT ALL towards ANY group within the LGBTQ+ community, Nazism, Anti-Semitism, Racism, Sexism, Ableism, Ageism, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, etc.
Any one under the age of 13. If you're under 13, you really shouldn't be on tumblr, but I can't control people's kids, so idc. If I find out you're under 13 and interacting with my blog, I will block you at bare minimum until you're 14.
NSFW blogs. While I say my blog is recommended for 16+, that does NOT mean I allow NSFW content of ANY KIND. My blog is 16+ for LANGUAGE and OCCASIONAL MATURE THEMES, not for NSFW content. (This was a lie, I'm a liar, there will be occasional hornyposts)
Assholes. I get that everyone has their own opinion, but if you start harassing me or any of my mutuals/followers, you WILL be blocked immediately. I may be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but I don't go out of my way to attack people for no reason. I will uphold everyone else around these parts to the same standards.
Trumpies/MAGAs/Far-right Conservatives. I'm all for political freedom, but I don't want any of those kinds around for safety and personal reasons. Also, refer to Bullet Point Number Four for further information on why I don't want Trumpies around here.
Religious nuts. Practice your religion however you please, I'm all for it. If you want, you can POLITELY educate me and anyone else who is okay with it about your religion. I'm taking a World Religions class and am very open to learning about other peoples' faiths. HOWEVER, if somebody says to shut up about religion, SHUT UP ABOUT RELIGION. If your only purpose is to tell people about "The Word of God" or whatever, GTFO. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, use religion as a tool for hate, or use someone else's religion as a tool for hatred.
People who can't take a joke. I (and many others on this site) am a sarcastic sunnuvabitch, and cannot take time to account for EVERYONE'S feelings towards EVERY subject. I will do my best to use tone indicators (I forget sometimes) but do not get md if I don't. If it bothers you, leave. If I say something that offends you, let me know in my DMs and I'll work it out with you as best I can.
About me:
My name is Ozzie, I'm 19 years old, and I use He/They or E/Em pronouns. I'm still figuring out my gender identity, so I use the term transmasc for now. I'm aromantic and bisexual. I have ADHD, MDD, and ASD. I also have uncontrollable tics (caused by medications I was taking) but that doesn't really affect stuff online. I like dad jokes, animals (if you have pictures or facts about animals, I'd love to hear them!), art, music, and writing. I'm into video games like Minecraft, Pokemon, Animal Crossing, and some others I can't think of right now (mainly open-world, chill games.) My favorite movie is The Princess Bride (shut up, it's a classic) and I love horror movies.
What to expect:
I have absolutely no idea. Hope for the best, expect the worst, I guess. Seriously though, most of this blog is me saying dumb shit, me reblogging other people's art and absolutely going apeshit over how amazing it is, and me reblogging random shit I see because I have no shame. Probably a lot of Skeleton War nonsense, because fuck you, that's why. Also Goncharov. Lots of Goncharov.
Alright, so listen. Pride and Prejudice is one of my comfort movies and by that, I mean that itās one I play on repeat because itās safe, right? But Iām also just a sucker for the storyline. And I suffer from My Hero Academia. So, I got to thinking and... which of the boys would work best in the Pride and Prejudice story??? Important discourse here
āCause, like, part of me wants to say Todoroki, right? Because heās rich and so, so, so awkward, like Darcy, and I also feel like he would act like Darcy does in the book [gets a little angry that he likes this person, doesnāt know how to go about it, is mildly insulting, and then secretly sweet]. And thatās all good and well.
But but but, hear me out. Because there is something about the idea of rich-fashion-icon-by-birth Bakugou Katsuki falling for you, with your poor family and your too many sisters and your strong will, that justĀ wonāt leave me alone. Like, bro, come on.
āCause itās really Kirishimaās fault, isnāt it? Because he started dating your older sister and now Bakugou is around all the time because he has one friend and that is Kirishima Eijirou. So, you see him all the time and heās terrible. You hate him.Ā
Heās loud and unsociable and just so rude. You hate him. And heās always there, snarling and spitting and sneering, and you hate that his face is still so damn pretty anyway. And heās always insulting you- āDidnāt anyone ever tell you that dumbasses shouldnāt talk?āĀ āWhat do you know about it, huh, extra?āĀ -and, unfortunately for him, and your blood pressure, you donāt take bullshit.Ā
Every time you two are in a room together, it devolves from sharp, piercing insults to childhood playground sneers, and everyone else is just uncomfortable. Neither of you realize until after that you both forgot anyone else was in the room; that it wasnāt just the two of you.Ā
And itās Katsuki that likes you first, of course it is, because youāre entertaining. You keep up with him, never bowing under the weight of his barbs, and your wit sometimes leaves him feeling like the whole world is spinning. And youāre beautiful, he knows, but he doesnāt know what to do with all this. Heās never been in love before, certainly not with anyone like you. Thereās no one like you.Ā
But he hates you and you hate him and thatās a hard cycle to escape. Itās comfortable as much as itās painful. The changes he makes are so subtle that it takes you an embarrassingly long time to notice them.Ā
For all his loudness, Katsuki is the kind to love quietly, and his pride, enough to rival your own, doesnāt require notice or praise for his effort. So, he says nothing, content to take his action without credit, watching you enjoy the benefits all the same. And itās enough. He swears itās enough. He really thought it was.
But the moment you realize-that the scarves heād left at your place, the books heād thrown at you, the well-timed calls that reminded you of the time before you could lose yourself to another sleepless life, all thrown at you over the course of the last few months with varying degrees of insult and expletives-were love, kindness.Ā
Itās not until Katsuki is carrying the shaken form of your youngest sister, dragged from under the rubble of her school, and coming straight to you, eyes only on you, to murmur words of comfort, that you realize.Ā
Heās had a look in his eye for a while and youād never been able to tell what it was, just that it was familiar, and now you knew. Bakugou Katsuki, rich-fashion-icon-by-birth Bakugou Katsuki, was in love you and he was far, far kinder than youād ever been able to see.Ā
In that moment, you feel so, so stupid. Because, really, wasnāt it obvious? That he loved you and you loved him? If not from his harsh way of quietly caring, then from the way you sought each other out at every turn, always forgetting everything else but each other, like you two existed on a plane of existence all your own.Ā
And, really, wasnāt it so damn obvious? So, you grab him, covered in grim and smeared with eyeliner and exhaustion, and you kiss him. Because you love him, you do, it just took a while to notice.Ā
And Katsuki doesnāt know how he ever thought having you without having you would be enough. Because itās not. Itās really not. You, whispering praises to him, thanks, and giving gestures in return; itās almost tooĀ much and Katsuki is entirely going to die because he loves you.Ā
You love loudly, in many ways, and quiet in the ways that matter. Itās the way you read aloud to him when you can tell he canāt talk, that his day was bad and heās just angry because heās upset. You read to him, and wash his face for him, and run your fingers through his hair, and you never look at him, never try to talk. He never comes home to messes that will make him itch and more often than not, heāll find something new for him lying around the house where you know heāll find it: sweaters, keychains, sweat bands, gloves, whatever you can get your hands on.Ā
Youāre loud in the way you call him darling and pretty and princess and youāre loud in the way you support his hero career and youāre loud in the fact that you love him, but youāre never too loud. And Katsuki loves you too much, and heās much the same.
Kirishima regrets his entire life. Because this is entirely his fault, isnāt it?
Note: Just venting to the world, btw this is an old poem I made years ago. If you cry, it ain't my fault you have a soft heart like me.
Some people are strong, wise and can live happily,
But others are weak, sad, and were already betrayed.
Can emotions speak mentally? They do.
For they are never afraid.
I'm Happy to be with my friends.
But they had left as I change
A blue bird caught in a net,
Then forever in a cage.
Betrayal was never a thing,
When I had joined the flock.
Years of happy friendship,
Portrayed like a pretty ticking clock.
Then days past like years,
They had flown without I.
Why did they leave me?
From my tears that never lied?
Two animals came to the bird,
Who was trapped in a silver cage.
"Why so sad?" Said both of them.
"I'm lonely." I said with no rage.
"Unconfident, Insecure, sadistic,
I feel dead, from words that they had said.
Slow, quiet and observant, that's what I am!
They want me to change, I did.Ā
But they still don't like me for who I am!
'Too temperamental!' They would say
Not knowing of my heavy plate.
'You used to smile! Be what you usually are!'
Should I? When looking at my kin's grave?
If I were a cold mysterious blue,Ā
They would be the blooming beautiful red.
They would stick to me when I think of them.
Even when crying, in the end."
The two strangers unlocked my cage
Stepping closer to me.
When I got up, to fly away,
They still had caught me.
I was scared for what they'll do,
Fear spreading in my heart.
"Don't be sad." One of them said.
"For they are blind, while you, are not."
I realised they put me in between each other,
A comfy hug, so warm, it seems.
"You are not alone," the other spoke.
"For we are here to set you free."
One was a cat, the other?
A bunny. Curiously, I asked.
"Why aren't you both fighting?"
They laughed at me,
But their tone was never mean.
"We are friends," Said the hare
"We do play in odd ways." The other purred.
"We may fight against each other,"Ā
"But in the end, we both forgave"
I cried in tears of joy,
As they had let me fly free.
We all enjoyed each other's company.
For we are friends in eternity.
Yet I wasn't in a happy ending,
It was all just a silly dream.
For I am still trapped inside this cage.
Never to be free.
My 15-16 self is surprisingly a good and bad poet. If anyone wants to criticize feel free to do so while I get my blanket and my sweets to get better. Again.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
DO NOT LISTEN IF YOU HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES!! I AM fucking CRYINGG!!!
The whole idea of this album is to experience what dementia is like. You listen and you visualize. The sounds become more eerie and vacant as it goes on. The last 5 mins of this are just....its a trainwreck for me.
