#londonsb

Just got a phonecall from a very wealthy man who I was good friends with.. Hes like he wants to give me something very large for christmas. Kinda what I needed to hear tbh. 

Its been about 6 months since I stopped sugaring. 

Since then i’ve been in hospital, nearly lost my job and have generally been going through the works. 

I was glad I stopped sugaring, because I just had a feeling it wasnt for me. The nature of  sbs and sds just gave me bad vibes. 

I dont know how I can be an sb with so much personal turmoil and especially not finding myself attractive (I cant stunt) 

My last sd basically disappeared abroad and still owes me 1k 

But then a former pot who I’ve had dinner with lots of times text me to tell me hes getting a beach front house in spain, and everything just came flooding back. The desire to do better, to be able to spoil my mum, to be able to afford to get myself better. 

I want to start an arrangement with the old pot that text me. 

and use all i’ve learnt to get to the stage i want to. 

I'm learning that sugaring is not something I can be half hearted with, I literally have to have a persona, and it needs to be strong as hell. 

Me tryna stunt in heels and makeup whilst feeling severely insecure. It showed. This time, its time to care less, be patient, and keep on the ball all the time. 

I misssss central london scenery, beautiful food and all’a that stuff.