#lomam

Dying doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

Sure, you don’t really remember it. That happened to your other self. Still, you’re pretty sure that you should have felt more. Maybe the Calligrapher’s Cutlass is better than you thought. It’s no match for the Chromatic Cleaver, but that doesn’t work for him. Now you understand why – the power never came from the Cleaver at all.

JAMES: ...That is the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen.

You have to admit that dying and becoming more powerful is something you’ve never seen outside of Star Wars. If it hadn’t just happened to you, you probably wouldn’t have believed it.

STEPHANIE: ...It’s weird. STEPHANIE: I think I understand nothing better than ever. JAMES: So becoming a god made you dumber? JAMES: I’m not surprised. I always knew religion rots your brain.

Maybe reaching god tier will make his jokes not suck.

He’s the last one who hasn’t ascended. Greg and Tiffany have been moving everyone’s dreamselves to their Quest Beds, so you can revive right there. They’re supposedly busy right now doing something with frogs, but you think they’re probably just having sloppy makeouts.

You’re happy about that. Sure, it’s good that your friends are happy together, and you want them to be happy. It’s been a really long time coming, and you’re kind of shocked that it took this long.

But it also means that maybe Steve will finally open his eyes.

You almost feel like you have the confidence to just tell him outright.

Maybe you’ll wait for the right moment, though.

JAMES: Okay, so. We ready to head back and kill me now? JAMES: Man that is fucking weird to say. JAMES: Like I should call a hotline. JAMES: Hey, I’m about to have my friend cut off my head so I can become a god. JAMES: They’d be like, “Holy shit.” JAMES: And I’d be like, “Nah, not until after dinner.”

The vibration of the Illustrator’s Interface is a welcome distraction.

-- anonymousAdvisor [AA] began badgering intenseImpressionist [II] --

AA: I may not be able to see you, Miss Nestore, but I know I can still contact you. AA: You believe that your godhood will protect you. AA: I will take pleasure in robbing you of that foolish arrogance. II: steve and liz already told me about you II: Im not listening AA: I will kill him. II: what? AA: I will obtain his mother and force him into an impossible fight to protect her. AA: It will be a Heroic death, and he will be gone. II: dont you dare AA: And your only recourse to save your beloved will be to complete the scratch. AA: I have never failed, Miss Nestore, and I will not fail now. II: I wont let you AA: You will perform this scratch one way or another. Whether Mister Garrison suffers a painful death is your choice. AA: But I warn you. AA: My patience wears very thin.

-- anonymousAdvisor [AA] ceased badgering intenseImpressionist [II] --

Just calm down. You can do this.

But you could use a little help.

-- intenseImpressionist [II] began badgering phaithfulPhysician [PP] --

II: liz PP: Hello, Stephanie. I understand you completed your quest and your ascension. PP: Congratulations! I’m proud of you. II: I just talked to that white text guy PP: Oh dear. I hope you didn’t take any advice from him. II: he said hes going to kill steve unless we do the scratch PP: … PP: That is a problem. PP: Did he say anything else? We still don’t know why he’s so insistent. II: no PP: Tiffany confirmed that the scratch does exactly what he claimed it would do. How does that benefit him? What are his goals? II: I dunno II: but we have to protect steve PP: Agreed. Did he give any clue as to how he intended to hurt Steve? II: he said hed hurt steves mom and make him die a heroic death PP: Well. I suppose we could have Greg move her to safety. I’d prefer not to disrupt his work, though. The sooner he finishes the Genesis Frog, the sooner we can complete this. PP: Do you have any ideas? II: umm II: he did say something weird PP: I was under the impression that weird was his modus operandi. II: he said he couldnt see me PP: …That is weird. PP: He clearly has, if not omniscience, very extensive surveillance. II: do you think its part of my role? PP: You’re the Knight of Void, yes? PP: It could very well be that you are invisible to him. PP: …Maybe we can use that to our advantage. II: you want me to try to find him and sneak in and stop him? PP: I worry that we don’t have the time, and we don’t even know where to start. PP: No, I think you should go directly to Steve and keep him safe. II: okay PP: I know he could use some company right now. PP: And I think there’s no one better for that than you. II: okay II: I get it II: Ill try to be brave PP: You can do it, Stephanie. PP: Good luck.

-- intenseImpressionist [II] ceased badgering phaithfulPhysician [PP] --

JAMES: Yo. You ready? STEPHANIE: I have to go. Steve’s in trouble. JAMES: Shit. Okay, let’s go. STEPHANIE: No. You need to go to your Quest Bed. STEPHANIE: I’m the only one who can do this. JAMES: …Okay, if you say so. JAMES: I guess I can kill myself. STEPHANIE: Be careful, James. JAMES: You too.

He turns to leave, and you do the same.

JAMES: Oh, Steph? JAMES: When you see Steve, tell him he’s a dumb asshole, and I’m sorry that I am too. JAMES: And then tell him you love him. STEPHANIE: …I’ll try. JAMES: You can do it. You’re awesome.

He gives you a bittersweet smile as he steps through the portal.

STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Okay! This is it! ♥ STEPHANIE: This one? It’s just like all the others. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ I’m sure of it! ♥

You stare at a mirror that is utterly unassuming. Nothing differentiates from the hundreds – maybe even thousands – that you checked before. Dull metal frame, clean surface. How your sprite decided this particular mirror is beyond you.

With a shrug, you switch the Cleaver to yellow and draw.

光線

A beam of light strikes the reflective surface, cutting through the gloom around you.

Beyond a few feet, though, the light dies.

STEPHANIE: Nothing. This is the wrong mirror. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Huh? ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ It can’t be! This is the mirror that points to all of the other ones! ♥ STEPHANIE: Then why didn’t it work? STEPHSPRITE: ♥ I don’t know! ♥

You sigh and drop to your knees, rolling the Cleaver between your fingers.

STEPHANIE: What’s the point of this anyway? STEPHSPRITE: ♥ It’s part of learning to be a Knight of Void! ♥ STEPHANIE: What? STEPHSPRITE: ♥ That’s your role! As a Knight, you’re the best fighter ever! And you have power over Void, or nothingness! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ So you’re the hero of nothing! ♥ STEPHANIE: …So you think I’m nothing. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Umm! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Not exactly like that! ♥ STEPHANIE: This whole quest was supposed to make me see how I’m the master of nothing. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Err! ♥ STEPHANIE: …Fine.

You spin the mirror around. It pivots as though on an invisible string. Flicking the Cleaver to your favorite purple, you inscribe.

何か

Nanika.

Something.

STEPHANIE: I am not nothing. STEPHANIE: I am me.

You spin the mirror back and cast another ray.

The light that bounces back is blinding, and you slam your eyes closed. Even through your eyelids, the beam shines like the sun. You squeeze one eye slightly open and see the light travelling from mirror to mirror. Darkness evaporates like smoke as your beam races around the world. You marvel as the dull metal of each frame brightens until the air glitters like diamond.

It takes a few minutes for your eyes, weakened by weeks of shadow, to adjust to the light. As they do, you see a figure slumped against the back of a mirror.

STEPHANIE: James? JAMES: Go away. STEPHANIE: You look like shit. JAMES: I am shit. Go away. STEPHANIE: You aren’t shit. JAMES: I fucked everything up from the beginning. JAMES: I pissed off Steve and he won’t talk to us anymore. JAMES: I couldn’t even help with your quest. JAMES: Some Prince of Light I am. STEPHANIE: Prince of Light? STEPHSPRITE: ♥ That’s his role! ♥ STEPHANIE: What’s it mean? JAMES: It means I’m the biggest fuck-up in the goddamn world. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ The Prince is a destroyer! And Light is about chance! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ So Prince of Light would mean “destroyer of opportunity”! ♥ JAMES: See? JAMES: All I do – all I ever do – is ruin things for everybody else. I get mad, or I do something stupid, and everybody has to clean up. JAMES: You would have been better off if I had been crushed by that meteor. STEPHANIE: …You know what my role is? JAMES: No. STEPHANIE: I’m the Knight of Void. It’s like “master of nothing”. STEPHANIE: But that’s not what I am. I’m not nothing. JAMES: I don’t think you’re nothing. STEPHANIE: James… STEPHANIE: Your role doesn’t have to be literal. It doesn’t define you. JAMES: What? STEPHANIE: The role doesn’t make us. We make it. STEPHANIE: I’m not master of nothing. I can create anything. STEPHANIE: So maybe you’re not the destroyer of opportunity. STEPHANIE: You’re like… I dunno. The monkey wrench that ruins our enemy’s plans or something. JAMES: …You really think so? STEPHANIE: Yeah. I think we couldn’t do this without you.

You offer him your hand. He takes it and pulls himself up. Your eyes meet his, and you stare into each other.

This past month has been kind of the worst.

You’ve spent most it wandering around in the dark, looking for a mirror that’s somehow different from the hundreds of others you’ve encountered. Every single one looks exactly the same, though. You’re pretty sure you’ve walked halfway across the planet, and you’re no closer than when you started. You don’t even know if you’ve made any progress.

The consorts of the planet have tried to help, but they don’t know what you’re looking for any more than you do. Occasionally one of the panthers will plod over and direct you to a particular mirror. You’ll pull out the Chromatic Cleaver and call forth a ray of light onto the reflective surface, but nothing happens. You don’t even know if something is supposed to happen.

JAMES: Hey Steph, try this one.

That’s the other problem.

You haven’t had real time to yourself all month. Sometimes you have to wrap yourself in the Vanishing Veil just to go hide somewhere for a few minutes. It’s never long enough, though.

After spending three weeks with James, you’ve come to a conclusion.

He is really, really irritating.

For the first week, it was kind of nice to have somebody to discuss manga and anime with. As great as Steve is, he isn’t as devoted to Japanese culture as you are. You were able to have serious debates about the works of Satoshi Kon, even if he is totally wrong about when the group died in Happy Family Planning. Sure, he tended to ramble, and his taste is kind of one-dimensional, but it was actual conversation about things you like.

And the fight happened.

You’re still not sure exactly what occurred, but Steve and James ended up blocking each other on BadgerBud. James spent the next few days in a rage. He kept muttering expletives under his breath, and he punched a few of the mirrors (thankfully, only ones you’d already checked). You’re kind of scared of him now. He hadn’t ever showed any sign of explosive anger before.

And you’re pretty sure he’s got a weird crush on you. When you suggested after the fight that he spend some time on his own world to get his thoughts together, he insisted that hanging out with you was just what he needed. Then he wouldn’t leave your side for hours. Being around him is utterly exhausting.

And there’s the terrible jokes. They’re not even jokes, just stupid things he says. He thinks they’re funny or clever or something. You had hoped that if you stopped acknowledging them at all, he’d stop making them. Now he thinks he has to be even “funnier” to get your attention.

JAMES: Steph, where are you?

Now you’re hiding, hoping that maybe he’ll give up and go away.

He never does.

STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Steph! ♥ STEPHANIE: Shh! STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Why? ♥ STEPHANIE: I’m trying to hide from James. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ But he’s our friend! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ And he’s Steve’s best friend! ♥ STEPHANIE: I don’t care! He’s annoying, and I want to be left alone. STEPHANIE: So shut up and go away! STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Steph, that isn’t very nice! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ We should try to be nice to Steve’s friend so he’ll see how good we are! ♥ STEPHANIE: I don’t care! STEPHANIE: I’m tired of putting on that act, and I’m tired of dealing with him, and I’m tired of searching for this stupid mirror. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Then don’t! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Use your brush and get through the Gate! ♥ STEPHANIE: And I’m tired of listening to you, too. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ But Steph! ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ I’m trying to help! ♥ STEPHANIE: Well stop! STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Steph… ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ If you go through the Gate, you’ll go to the Land of Tides and Trials. ♥ STEPHANIE: I don’t care. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ But then you can see Steve and be happy again! ♥ STEPHANIE: I don’t need Steve to be happy!

Your sprite looks like she’s been slapped.

STEPHSPRITE: ♥ Wh… ♥ STEPHSPRITE: ♥ …What? ♥ STEPHANIE: I’m perfectly capable of being happy on my own! STEPHANIE: I’m not some mopey bimbo who needs Steve to be complete. STEPHANIE: I’m not you. STEPHANIE: I hated you. Because you were happy, and I wasn't, and every time I looked at you it reminded me that I should be happy. STEPHANIE: But that's not right. STEPHANIE: I pity you. Because your happiness relies completely on Steve, and I don't need him. STEPHSPRITE: ♥ …You don’t like Steve anymore? ♥ STEPHANIE: Of course I do. STEPHANIE: I never stopped. STEPHANIE: But it doesn’t define me. STEPHANIE: Not anymore.

You stand up.