#lolstotheend

A list:

The phrase “Was *insert scenario appropriate name* your nickname in high school?” Example: After eating Nutella and someone has it all over their face “Was Nutella face your nickname in high school?” Actually works for anything. 

The phrase “Isn’t this your favourite song?” When a song that clearly isn’t their favourite plays in a public place. I’m assuming this works really well for Nickelback and Chris de Burgh songs.

“Here they come/there they are” The game you play when you’re waiting to meet someone and think or say “here they come” or “there they are” when someone that isn’t them approaches. THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY THE BEST.

“They did the voice of Wilson in Castaway” This one is really good if you’re watching a movie or TV show with someone and they see an actor that they know is from something else, but they can’t, for the life of them, place it. In the absolute peak of their frustration, you announce that the person did the voice of Wilson in Castaway. WILSON IS A BALL. THAT’S WHY IT’S FUNNY.

Farts. Farts are hilarious. I have a weird relationship with farts though. List of people I can fart in front of: Matt, mum and brother. It actually ends there. It really doesn’t matter how close we might be, it’s not a reflection of that at all. I just can’t do it in front of anyone else because it’s gas coming out of your body that smells and makes a noise and it’s just SO inappropriate but hilarious. Fart sounds are also amazingly humorous. I think it’s the same with if you walk out of Bras ‘N’ Things and everyone stares at your chest. They know you were in there because you have boobs. Farts are like that maybe?

Using Phallic objects as...well...a phallus. This goes for cucumbers, salami, anything. You have to hold it there with the straightest of faces for maximum effect. If a banana and two tomatoes are anywhere near each other, you can also probably imagine what I do. This rule applies to things that are like boobs, probably.

PUNS. Puns are amazing.

Restaurant pun names that Matt and I work tirelessly to create with friends of ours. I don’t want to disclose any here, because this is probably our future career path. It’s the sort of thing that, when you come up with a good one, you text it at 2am, because it can’t wait. Train station pun names are also my life.

Picking the lesser of two evils in ridiculous scenarios. Example: “Whose butt would you rather squeeze; Nicolas Cage or Gary Busey?”