#loki funny

"Morning." You said, sitting the cup down on the desk as Loki looked up "Hello darling, is it morning already?" He asked grabbing cup "yup....sure is." You said flopping in the chair across from him. "Are you upset with me pet?" He asked setting the cup down "no..of course not. I love sleeping by myself." You snarked sipping your coffee. "I'm sorry darling, I just really need to figure this out." He said turning the page in his book. "Mm. Have fun." You said getting up heading to the bedroom. You grabbed your clothes, laying them out before going to the bathroom.

Turning on the shower you tossed your pajamas in the corner, stepping under the hot water sighing. You closed your eyes, your thoughts drifting to Loki. The way his jaw clenched when he fought, how his muscles flexed under his tight shirt during training, the way his long elegant fingers ghosted your skin, bringing you pleasure you had never know before. You slid your hand down your stomach, slowly moving lower imagining they were Loki's fingers as you slid them between your folds, caressing your clit "l..loki.." you breathed, moving your fingers back and forth circling your entrance feeling two arms wrap around you, gently pulling you back "have I neglected my pet?" You heard Loki purr in your ear making you shiver.

His fingers traced down your arm, joining your hand between your thighs lacing his fingers with yours, his free hand cupping your breast as he pushed your combined fingers into you making you gasp. "Mm that's it..." he purred kissing down your neck, his thumb rubbing over your nipple "I'll take care of you." He breathed licking the shell of your ear. He slid your fingers in and out as you rocked your hips against your hands, your head dropping to his shoulder. "Fuck me Loki.." you panted pressing further into him. "In due time darling " He whispered in your ear. You reached back, digging your hand into his hair "no...now!" You growled pulling hard hearing him groan

He guided you to the wall of the shower, removing his fingers from you making you whine as he guided your hands up placing them on the tile. He pulled your hips back, bending you over as his hand slowly slid down your thigh, hooking his arm under your knee lifting it up, moaning feeling him line himself up. "God Loki...hurry up!" You growled rocking back into him "Mm so much anger..." he panted, lifting your knee higher "allow me to fuck it out of you." He purred snapping his hips into you, bottoming out in one thrust making you cry out. "Fuck...you feel so good." He groaned, pulling his hips back, his fingers digging into your thigh as he slammed back into you, your arms shaking with the force.

He reached up, wrapping his long fingers around your throat, squeezing feeling your pulse race under his fingers. "Aahh....fuck....harder" you panted pushing your hips back into him. "Mm I do love it when your fiesty." He purred, setting an unforgiving pace, your arms weakening with each thrust "s..stop aahhh talking." You gritted, reaching back digging your nails into his ass as he slammed into you. He pressed his fingers into your throat, growling as he hit that spot inside you "t..that's it..fuck..come y/n." He groaned. Feeling him twitch inside you, you slammed your hips back into his as you came hard around him, feeling him spill inside you biting your shoulder.

You leaned your forehead against the tile trying to catch your breath as he slid out of you, placing your leg down "am I forgiven pet?" He panted, kissing your neck. "No, I don't think so." You said stepping back under the water. "Darling, what must I do to make it up to you?" He asked, wrapping his arms around you smiling "hmm...I'm sure I'll think of something." You smiled, leaning up pecking his lips quickly pulling back "is that all I get after giving you an earth shattering orgasm love?" He smiled, rocking you both back and forth "yyyup." You said turning around "that is cold pet." He laughed. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting Tony in the lab?" You asked over your shoulder. "Do not remind me." He said kissing your shoulder "I shall see you this afternoon pet." He said slipping out of the shower, leaving you to finish.

"Stark!' Loki yelled through the lab making tony jump "Dammit Rudolph, mark my words, I'm gonna put a bell on you." He said setting the welder down "hm..yes, well anyway why was I summoned?" Loki asked, his hands behind his back as he walked along the long table. "Hm? Oh! Yes...here." He said waving Loki to follow him. "I swear stark, if this is another of your trivial inventions..." he said trailing off seeing a garment bag hanging on the wall. "Nope...the new team uniform." Stark said smiling unzipping the bag as Loki's eyes widened.

"I would rather die..again then to wear that...monstrosity!" Loki yelled, eyeing the red and white one piece suit with a very large "A" printed on the chest. "Oh come on, it's not that bad." Tony said smiling "this must be a jest, that is unfit for a clown, let alone a Prince." Loki sneered at the offending suit. "Your on the team horns..so you wear it." Tony said walking back to the table "I will do no such thing!" Loki yelled following him "and who are you to tell me..." he started, suddenly going quiet. Tony turned around seeing the room empty. "Rudolph?" He called out looking around. "What a diva." He scoffed, picking up his welder continuing his work on his new suit when a small black cat jumped up on the table.

"Well hey there little guy, where did you come from?" Tony asked setting the welder down, holding his hand out as the cat hissed and batted at him. "Hey! What the..." he said watching the cat jump to another table, his long tale whipping around his beakers "heeey...nooo.." he trailed off as the cat locked eyes with him, lifting his paw knocking one to the floor shattering on impact. "Hey..stop that!" Tony yelled, running over as the cat turned around, kicking more beakers onto the floor, the liquids mixing together on the floor beginning to smoke as the cat lept to another table, quickly knocking its contents to the floor. "Friday! I need Dum-E...stat!" Tony yelled to the ceiling, trying to make his way to the cat who was now digging his claws into the table top.

The small robot rolled in, whirring around moving towards Tony when a small fire began in the puddle of liquids. "Shit..shit.." Tony said, grabbing for the cat as it jumped down, running between his legs "get back here you..." he started, a puff of white suddenly surrounding him "not me dum-e! The actual fire!" Tony yelled as the bot continued to spray the extinguisher at him. "Dammit!" Tony yelled, ducking around the bot, running through the room spotting the cat digging it's claws into his suit, leaving deep gashes along the front. He was about to run over when the bot came over, spraying more of the extinguisher at him, blinding him when the smoke alarm went off, the loud screech hurting his ears "Friday! Turn off the alarm!" He yelled as loud as he could. "I would sir...but technically there is a fire." The ai replied.

"For the love of.." Tony trailed off, holding his arms out trying to make his way thought the thick haze of fog when suddenly a white light flashed in front of him, squinting he saw the cat chewing on the wires of one of his repulsars, causing it to fire. "Shit..I'm going to die." He said, slipping on a puddle of oil, the air leaving him as he landed hard on his back. He groaned, rolling to his side when he heard a voice calling his name "god...is that you?" He whispered, trying to catch his breath "Tony! Where are you!?" You yelled into the room, a cloud of white smoke billowing out of the lab as you stepped back.

You stepped in again, slowly feeling along the wall for the panel of switches, your fingers grazing them you flipped them on as the fans kicked on sucking the fog out of the room. You sighed taking in the room, dum-e was flailing around dousing Tony in extinguisher...there was a small fire in the corner...and "LOKI!" You yelled, seeing the cats head snap up, eyes meeting yours as he dove under a table. "COWARD!" You yelled, grabbing the extinguisher off the wall you walked over putting the fire out "dum-e...that's enough!" You yelled as the bot stopped, swiveling around to you "go..now!" You growled as it sped off to the other side of the lab.

You walked over, looking down at Tony trying not to laugh "what the actual hell?" You asked looking around "not my fault!" He said sitting up "I was telling Loki about the new suit, he threw a fit and poofed out, and then this cat showed up." He said pulling himself up with the table "Uh huh.." you said looking around "the cat..." you trailed off. "Say, can you make anything with those nanobots?" You asked, an idea forming "yeah why?" He asked sitting down. "Well, I think said cat needs a collar...one that will adjust with his size..green with a little gold bell." You said smiling, seeing the realization in Tony's eyes "gjve me a minute." He said rushing to the other side of the lab. You smiled, walking over to where you last saw loki "here kitty kitty." You purred, leaning down seeing a small box, two large eyes peeking over the top "aww, poor kitty...come here." You smiled holding your arms out.

He slowly climbed out of the box, nudging your hand with his head as you scooped him up, holding him to your chest he reached up licking your nose "aahh that feels weird." You laughed walking back to the middle of the lab, hearing him purr as scratched his ears. About an hour later he was fast asleep in your arms, sounding like a little motor boat as you held him to your chest. "Ok...here we go." Tony said walking over holding the small collar in his hand. "All you have to do is put it on, as he "gets bigger" the nanobots will adjust to the size of his neck." Tony said air quoting handing you the collar. You smiled, sliding it on clasping the back, holding back a laugh at the little gold bell dangling in the front. "I did tell him I was going to put a bell on him." Tony laughed "thanks Tony, we'll see how he likes being tricked." You smiled, getting up leaving the lab.

You made it back to your room, gently laying him on the bed before taking a seat in the corner of the room. You weren't sure how long it would be before he changed back but you couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he did.

You: 

You: You’re the one who tried to rule our world. 

Loki: Yes. 

You: I see.

You:

You: If I had been there you wouldn’t have failed. 

Loki: Yes, yes, I’m aware. You would have captured me or killed me or-

You: I would have joined you. 

Loki:

Loki: Excuse me?

You: That’s why you failed, Pretty Boy. 

You: What good is a king without a queen? 

Loki:

Loki: