#lockdoor

Lately i have been SO emotional

Annoyingly emotional and moody and very little things make me so sad. But not dramatic sad, a fleeting thing or maybe something intense but a heavy sad, the one that presses your chest and stays for half a day!

So i thought i would yap about some happenings that gave me this sad moments.

Firstly, this happened some days ago, i was hanging out with my aunt and both my older sisters. And they were making jokes about some situations from some weeks ago.

One time i forgot a sandwich and it burnt, another i thought they had asked me to take out one bag but they actually asked for many and more and more. i don't like being distracted and forgeting things easily. In fact i love a LOT of traits of mine but specifically this, i hate it. I don't find it funny! I find it almost shameful and horrible and i don't like it.

Imagine being that upset about something and then having someone joke about it! The jokes weren't even about the situation itself but about me. Making me seem bad or this way, and it may be true, but it still hurts me.

Then, some minutes later we were going home in our car, i opened the car door and the garage door, it's automatic, it was opening and the door got stuck on it. Basically it squeezed my foot and did a loud sound, the result was that i was already about to cry, upset and then that happened to me. To some point i was just eager to come home, lock myself in a bathroom and cry. I got so scared after almost smashing my foot

I can't even lock myself up in my room and hide on my sheets!

We can't lock our doors in the house and even if we did, i share a room with my sister!

Secondly, the rest are smaller things by the way i was going home with my sister and dad in our car, i was kinda distracted, thinking and i instead of normally getting inside and sitting, launched myself inside not even i understand what i did but i somehow forced my shoulder and almost fell while getting inside the car.

And i almost started crying there! Excuse you? i had BUMPED my arm, maximum hurt it a bit and i almost started crying of all things.

Third but not worst,

I am a strange person

So always when i recieve affection, when someone hugs me when they talk to me soflty or anything i cry.

If you comfort me when i cry i end up crying harder!

Even if someone is just being nice to me i get this sad feeling, and it's not cute it's annoying.

If people get too personal or focus too much on me i cry, anything happens to me and i cry.

I wish i could scream or get mad or do anything but cry when i feel anything

i'll probably post a drawing soon anyway.

And so i yap in the tumblr