⚔ - DUEL - a meeting or relationship that was important to them ∇ - TOMBSTONE - who they are versus who they appear to be
I’ll answer TOMBSTONE right here and DUEL over here in a separate post bc it got way the fuck outta control,
Isayah is,,,,,,,,just fuckin complicated. a Mess™. a special kind of disaster too stubborn and persistent for his own good. he’s been my favorite punching bag since i was 11/12 and I’ve kicked him to hell and back and nine ways to sunday and every single degree on the compass. this is me trying to explain who he is without writing a full series of books. he was born a good person and grew up being twisted and torn and beaten and ripped apart until the good person he would have been became nothing more than a bad taste at the back of his throat. he’s done good things, and he’s done truly horrifying things, and he’s stopped caring by refusing to let himself forget. he can feel love but it is no kind of salvation; it just is. the single thing he loathes most in this world is himself, and it may be the strongest force keeping him alive. he’s waiting to die as much as he’s fighting it simply to spite himself. I need to stop now because I literally just said I’m trying not to write a book
as for who he appears to be…it’s mostly up to whoever’s observing, honestly. Isayah doesn’t try to appear to be anything much but it’s not like he can really help standing out. he’s tall as shit and looks traumatized as shit, but he’s quiet and in strict control of himself. he moves with hints of unnatural grace and violence sleeping beneath his skin. it would be easy to believe that he’s killed someone. it would be easy to believe he’s killed a lot of people, and still would. he’ll feed a stray dog on the street and walk past a fight without batting an eye. on good days he’s civil, maybe even enough to attempt a shitty conversation; on bad days, he’ll break your arm on reflex alone if you get too close. he’s biased as hell and does what he wants and couldn’t give less of a shit because he’s stitched his bleeding heart into a mass of scars and bound it in a tourniquet for fear of bleeding out. I’m doing it again