how i look at my phone's screen reading angst near someone and having to hold back tears

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how i look at my phone's screen reading angst near someone and having to hold back tears

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currently thinking abt how the magneto origins script directly parallels charles to magda
i fear i never ever have been normal about anything i care about ever in my entire life it always just consumes me
What if tamlin could smell the emotions of plants
HEAR ME OUT-
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So you know the weird thing fae can do in ACOTAR? Smelling people's emotions/pheromones/whatever? I'm going to say for the sake of this that they can do this because they simply have an enhanced sense of smell, moreso than humans.
So, some fae could be born with the ability to "smell" everything more than others; they can pick up on the smallest of changes in a person's emotions, they can smell/sense people approaching from further away.
Now, is there something in ACOTAR about High Lords having a better sense of smell??? Probably not lol I haven't read the books in so long
BUT I'm saying that this is something Tamlin has always been able to do even before becoming High Lord. Tamlin grew up around plants, and in those years, he got used to taking care of them, and he's like. REALLY good at it. And obviously he would be, he's the high Lord's son- but his two brothers can't assess a plant's problem as quickly and effectively as he can. His brothers don't want to randomly hop off their horses to go check on the poppies they were riding past, the ones that Tamlin asks his brother to let him spend 10 minutes inspecting, and after lets himself be picked back up and put on the saddle infront of his brother, grinning happily.
And the thing is- Tamlin is six. Nobody really understands what he's doing when he goes and sits with the plants, sits, and seems to listen to harmonies none of them can hear. His family simply dismisses it as the regular antics of a child of his age, the ones befitting a High Lord's son.
And one day, his mother goes up and asks him why he's lingering around her favorite rosebushes. He replies, "They told me they were sad, mommy!" And she giggles, letting him babble about his little games. But later, when she goes to check on them- some of the branches is infested with fungi, and most of the plants need pruning.
She goes to him, brings him over and asks, "Is this what you meant, Tam?" And he points to it from behind her back, rubbing his nose and saying, "They're sad, mommy! They can't breathe!"
And anyways I think Tamlin has a really good sense of smell, so good that he can smell whenever a plant is infected, sick, when it needs water, when it's overgrown. And he can distinguish between all of those, each as different and easy for him to distinguish as Eris with his smokehounds.
And after Feyre and Lucien leave, he can still smell the rot in all his plants. He can smell it in his court, in Ianthe, in Dagdan and Brannagh, he can smell the fear in Bron and Hart; the disgust. And now he isn't pruning it. Because, really, now that he doesn't have a love, a friend, or a court to protect- what should he do it for? Himself?
Tamlin lets the infection spread in his court, but it's consuming him too- every day, the smell becomes more sickening, more suffocating- every day, there's lett oxygen for him to breathe.
The only things he still prunes are his mother's rose bushes.
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YEAHHH anyways
I needed to get this out of my head
Is this actually in acotar??? Who knows, I haven't actually read the books in so long now
Let it be known that I have no idea how old tamlin was when the war started
No Tamlin did not probably know Eris when he was six, that was me not being able to come up with a better metaphor
ANYWAYS
HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD DAY :D 💛💛💛
✩ camp counselor au? ✩
✩ So...what do we think about a camp counselor au with Ellie? Except let's make it a Christian camp because I need my religious trauma to be useful for something.
✩ Maybe she's about to graduate, but her program requires volunteer hours, so she signs up to be a counselor at the camp and is honestly really pissed about it. But then she gets paired with you. She thinks you're this stuck-up, church-obsessed girl, but she doesn't know that your parents made you go and you hate it just as much as her.
✩ I can totally imagine her unintentionally ruining one of those dumb purity demonstrations. Like the teacher has someone lick a cupcake and then asks everyone in the room if they would eat it. It's supposed to demonstrate how "unpure" things are "undesirable," but Ellie is just so bored and wasn't paying attention. So she volunteers to eat the cupcake and doesn't understand why everyone is so taken aback.
✩ Imagine her telling stories to the kids around the campfire. She doesn't think they're that scary, but she ends up facing your wrath after three kids wake you up in the middle of the night from nightmares.
✩ Maybe a kid is acting up, and instead of accepting the consequence she gave him, he says that "a demon must have been inside of him" to try and get out of it. Ellie just stares at him because none of the training she did prepared her for that response.
✩ Her coming up with the most creative ways to discourage PDA.
✩ And of course, sneaking around with her because the stakes are even higher at this camp. Will this just be a summer fling or will you stay in touch?
I might write something full-length for this. Any ideas?

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Fanfic Recommendations, Installment #1!
This is a long one! But even if you don't read all of my words here, you should definitely read theirs!
. ★.`.☆...☆.`.★ .
It feels as though it would be some sort of terrible crime not to highlight the most wonderful fic series that has been circulating its way through the Hazbin Hotel fandom over the last little stretch of time. Yes indeedy, I’m speaking of nothing other than the meteor shower series by spoondrifts on A03 (and ofc as @cringefailvox here on lovely tumblr!)
              This enthralling little series is currently comprised of two parts; time has changed the metaphor and its sequel, dragging its tail in the sea.
Herein we get the most delectable example of polyam, QPR, label-less goodness that I dare say there has been a gaping lack of up until now! (and if I am mistaken, I am happy to be so so wrong so long as you send all those good fics my way!!! My perceptions are fallible)
Current AUs of mine!! (An Incomplete List)
(Feel free to ask me about any of them, though I might have talked about them before)
Manda’Jetii Temple (aka Mandalorian Jedi AU)
This is the time travel fic that I wrote for 212th Appreciation Week and the first chapter is up on my patreon. Basically, several members of Ghost Company end up de-aged and back in time thanks to the connivings of Tarre Vizsla.
From the Shadows, Hope Rises (aka Shadow!Ahsoka)
Ahsoka was chosen as the padawan of Master Sephjet Josall when she was 11. When she was 16, her master was killed in the Battle of Geonosis at the beginning of the Clone Wars and she was assigned to Anakin Skywalker. But her training with Master Sephjet left her with many skills a Shadow needs and Ahsoka continued that training as best as she could despite Anakin’s lack of knowledge about Shadows. This leads to several surprises and twists throughout the war.
Shon’laar (Sirens AU)
The Kaminoans spliced the clones’ DNA with the last remnants of the native species on the planet, the sirens. With their genetic manipulation, CCs had powerful voices that could push their men further and inspire them, though it wasn’t a true siren song. CTs we’re far more susceptible to the CCs song, leaving them more obedient, at least in the Kaminoan’s eyes.
Time Travel Fix-It with Rebel Ahsoka
While running from Palpatine in the World Between Worlds, Ahsoka is pulled towards a different portal and ends up in the middle of the Umbara campaign. She faces off against Krell and reunites with people she lost decades ago. She also works to defeat Palpatine before he can complete his plan to become Emperor and destroy the Jedi.
General Ahsoka AU
When she went undercover on Zygerria as a slave, Ahsoka didn’t know she’d spend the next year trying to break free and rejoin Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the 501st. She finally escapes and is able to reunite with the men she cares for. Unfortunately, Anakin and Obi-Wan are on a mission and are unable to be contacted for their own safety. While Ahsoka is recovering, Palpatine decides now is the perfect time to get rid of her and sends an assassin to kill her. The assassin is caught and then Fox’s chip is triggered. He attempts to kill her, is stopped, and Ahsoka finds the chips. She and the clones work to undermine this plot without tipping off the mastermind behind it.
Raining Damnation (Mij Gilamar stand rise up!)
Years before the war would have started, Mij treats a clone and in the process, discovers a chip in his head. He, with the help of a few alphas and some brave CCs figure out that each chip contains orders that are meant to override the will of the clone. Mij is furious and storms Kamino, taking over the cloning process and killing any Kaminoan or trainer that gets in his way.
Courier AU
The couriers have the most dangerous jobs. When all communication is jammed and vital intel needs to be spread, the couriers are sent into battlefields to deliver information (and occasionally supplies) to the troops and generals fighting. But because the Jedi Knights and Masters are generals, the job has been given to the Service Corps, many of whom don’t have experience fighting at all. The couriers don’t last long.
Ahsoka always knew she’d be Plo’s padawan. Everyone in the Temple knew she’d become his padawan once she was old enough. However, right as he was going to start teaching her, the war started and Plo did not want to put her in the middle of fighting. They agreed that she’d go to the service corps to be safe and he’d take her as a padawan once the war was over. Unfortunately, as one of the few members of the corps with lightsaber training with several masters and with the lack of numbers, Ahsoka was quickly drafted as a courier.
Mandalorian AU (developed with @ninjatwins)
This is an au where there are no clones. Instead they are natural born Mandalorians. Based off of one of my fics I’ve already written, this is the story of how Cody becomes Mand’alor and how the True Mandalorians defeat Death Watch and make a treaty with the New Mandalorians.
Mer AU (also developed with @ninjatwins)
The Vode is an enormous clan of merfolk that primarily live on coral reefs. They’re peaceful up until they’re attacked by strange and powerful enemies from the deep oceans. Overwhelmed with more and more of his people being killed in every battle, Cody sends a few mers he trusts to chase an elusive myth of a clan of mers living in the vast ocean. Bacara, the clan leader of the Forwards (name pending), agrees to help and he and his clan along with the Jedi (shapeshifters and surface-dwellers) are able to defeat the sea witch Ventress and discover the leader of the nearby Republic was behind it all along.
Thorn/Padme AU 1 (developed with @aerykai)
Padme and Anakin have a huge falling out. She’s pregnant and scared, especially since Anakin fell after she officially divorced him. In an effort to protect herself and her children, Padme and Sabe turn to the people they’ve been able to trust since they entered their lives. Fox and Thorn immediately offer their help and Thorn volunteers to go undercover with Padme and Sabe. They leave Coruscant under new names, with Thorn posing as Padme’s husband, protecting Padme and her twin sister Sabe. They bounce around the galaxy in an attempt to confuse any pursuers and then settle down on a remote planet in an even more remote town. Thorn and Padme fall in love, especially when she sees how much he cares for her and the two kids that have yet to be born.
Okay this is already ridiculously long, so I’m gonna leave it here for now. Again, feel free to send me any questions you have about any of my aus (I’m not feeling well and my computer keeps crashing so I’m *bored*)
I am so stressed and pissed off right now. I'm having problems with these two internet providers and they have caused so many problems, so much stress and grief and upset that I want to shame them and drag their names through the fucking mud. I want EVERYONE to know what incompetent morons they are (at least everyone in the UK) and if I had Twitter, I would! 😡😡😡