#lizzi talks

Matt washing the blood off him and Heather coming in, and him pinning her to the fucking wall to distract her from the fact he’s bruised was not how I thought the shower scene would play out, but it worked, and if it had been me, it would have worked too because holy shit, the way he kissed her. I am unwell. He’s always used his sexiness to avoid answering questions and honestly, good for him.

Sorry, let me just crash out real quick: I want him to grab my face and fuck me against the shower wall like an animal to distract me from the fact he’s bruised and bleeding, and I want him to bite me so hard I start bleeding, too. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK ME MATT MURDOCK. Why’s he so hot I don’t understand. I’m supposed to give an in-depth review, but here I am wetter than the Pacific Ocean, begging to God to make him real so he can kiss (and fuck) me like that, too. Oh well.

Matt seemed so annoyed when she asked him about what was going and what happened to him, and I get it. Not just that he was annoyed but that she was asking him all these questions (that any normal girlfriend would if she thought her boyfriend was just a really traumatized lawyer) because she’s worried and desperate. Who wouldn’t be desperate with Matt ‘I hate therapy talk’ Murdock? Let’s be real here. He sucks at this.

She doesn’t know him the way the people who also know about Daredevil do, and that’s the problem, I think. I mean, I do get that Matt was annoyed because he himself is grappling with what he did, with all that’s happened and did happen a year ago, and he is basically trying to hold up two lives again, which is exhausting, but a lot of his problems would be remedied if he just talked about them and didn’t push everyone away. But we’ve known this.

Him calling her ‘sweetie’ took me right out though, and the fact Charlie’s accent slipped made it ten times better. Like, I can’t be the only one who noticed that?

I love LOVE that he finally admitted that the life he has now is so different from what he had before and it feels fake—because it’s not him. It’s not the life Matt had and was happy with before Foggy died. I mean, we saw how happy he was in She-Hulk, and he was doing good for himself with friends who knew and loved and understood him. He was getting back on track. Now that that’s gone, and he has seemingly loads of money and a girlfriend who doesn’t know about his darker half, it’s not going to work out, and we know it won’t. Marvel is doing this on purpose.

That’s why that relationship seems so dysfunctional and wrong and inauthentic the closer we get to the finale. Because it is dysfunctional. It’s supposed to be dysfunctional because Matt doesn’t want to be alone. He was trying to be normal, and Heather is part of that, but that no longer works for him. It was never going to, but he’s only realizing that now. That’s not who he is, and that’s why they have so many issues. It’s not Heather’s fault.

He said ‘I love you’, but the smile before he said it feels forced. Now, that doesn’t mean I think he lied. I do think he loves her. I think, he loves her in a different way than we’ve seen him love Elektra or Karen, but he does love her. And he cares about her. She matters to him. So, as dysfunctional as they are, he does have feelings, and if he ends up losing her, I think it will be the last nail in the coffin.

I love that he said “Dr. Glenn” after she gave him that therapy talk, and that he brushed away her tears, trying to reassure her. He’s a little shit and we love him for that.

But him feeling her face? The forehead kiss? What the fuck. Somebody fucking sedate me.

Heather was right though, the things he does border on self-harm because he pushes it too far. And we know what happened in Season 3 when he was so willing to die. One does not just let go of that. He’s always had this tendency to self-destruct, and I love that she finally pointed it out to him.

That’s what makes him such a complex character. He has different facets, and just when you think you’ve seen it all, there’s more. That’s why he needs someone who understand and accepts all of him, and this whole thing with Heather is just a ticking time bomb that is bound to backfire.

(I typed all of this after pausing that scene because I had to get these thoughts down. The rest will be written after I finish watching.)

I have three words: what. the. fuck. I mean, I knew Muse was going to be a problem for Heather. He seemed pretty obsessed with her the first time he talked to her, but the fact he tied her up in her own office in broad daylight, ready to bleed the shit out of her kind of came unexpected.

Matt knowing he was going after Heather by feeling the drawings Muse had made of her face… I said earlier how sweet it was he felt her face, BUT THATS HOW HE COULD TELL IM CRASHING OUT if he hadn’t done it who knows what would have happened

And he really put the suit on in the middle of the day. That fight scene was amazing, but I have to admit, those new Billy Clubs are definitely made to fit the new Matt and not the old one. What do you MEAN they have blades attached to them? What do you mean he impaled Muse and didn’t give a fuck? Oh, that man has lost it. Foggy was the last thing tethering him to sanity, and now that he’s gone, Matt is just saying ‘fuck it’ to everything, and I am so here for it.

I kind of thought Muse was going to kill Heather, but she actually killed him?? I didn’t expect that because we got him for what, two episodes? I kind of liked him. Muse was an incredible villain! Sure, the symbolism of him lying like a mural on that sheet was great, but I’m sad he died so soon.

Anyway. Marvel is doing a good job at presenting Matt and Heather’s relationship as ‘normal’ or ‘healthy’ at first, with the flirty dates and Kirsten setting them up so they’d both get a little action, but also at the same time slowly presenting all the ways in which it is flawed. Matt jumping into a relationship with her after not dealing with his grief, her being a therapist who knows the signs and is starting to suspect things, Matt putting the suit back on without her ever knowing about Daredevil, him not even acknowledging the fact that he was a hostage in a bank robbery, and now she’s also traumatized without knowing the man who saved her was actually her boyfriend, the same man who’s been lying to her all this time about his alter ego. Matt is so caught up in everything, he’s just continuing to build that house of cards until it’s ultimately blown away.

And don’t even get me started on Fisk and Vanessa. Therapy seems to have done nothing because that woman was ready to have her husband killed because she misses her power as Queenpin, and honestly, good for her. I just think it’s fucking hilarious that happens right after their therapist is incapacitated (because let’s face it, Heather won’t be able to go back to that office for a while). Like, we knew it was never going to work out, but her affiliation with the Fisk’s is another thing that might put Heather into trouble again and possibly lead to more tensions between her and Matt because he has a history with them, too that she doesn’t know about.

I love how Fisk partly doesn’t want to believe Matt went back on his promise but he also does believe it because he’s mad at him for ruining everything in the original show, which, let’s face it, is the only reason he’s doing it. That man is holding a grudge, and when he does that it gets dangerous. Anyway, I’m curious to see what he’s going to do because he was pretty quiet about possible actions against Daredevil in the episode, but we know shit’s gonna go down, so we’ll see.

The ‘this is all going to implode in his face’ moment I’ve been talking about is finally upon us. Hallelujah.

We can see Matt and Heather’s relationship falling apart, and I think what happened with Muse was the catalyst. Not only does he seem cold and detached from the woman he said he loved (She was tied up, cut open, and bled, and if that had been Karen or God forbid, Elektra, he would have been more doting)

If I think back to those domestic scenes they showed between Matt and Elektra in the Defenders, or how soft he was with Karen, this is so fucking far from that and it’s fucking intentional and I love that they really leaned into it this episode.

Also, I can’t get over what she said about Muse and Daredevil. She put them both in the same drawer, which I completely disagree with, but it shows that their views are already so fundamentally different.

Daredevil wasn’t there for himself. Matt came because he figured out it was her, which yes, she doesn’t know, but one of them saved her and one of them tried to kill her. I’m with Matt on this one. She spoke about both of them in rather derogatory ways because she doesn’t understand Daredevil the way the people in Matt’s life do/did, or the way we do. And I don’t think that would be any different if she knew it was Matt. She’d still think that way, I believe.

Adding this after watching: his rash and manic behavior toward the end was met with concern from her, which I get, but my gut is telling me she will not deal well with finding out the truth.

Sure, she’s a therapist, and she views it from a different angle, but even from a psychological angle I don’t really understand the things she said. I’m not a psychologist, but even with what little I know about psychology I can easily differentiate between the different vigilantes and their possible motivations. It might have been her trauma speaking, but I was a little mad at her, and I could tell so was Matt.

Also, he was worried when British Wesley came, and I don’t think it was wrong of him to express that because Fisk, even if you don’t know him, has a reputation, and Heather just shot him down. There is so much tension between them, and none of that is good. It’s just further proof of their dysfunctional relationship, and I honestly thank Marvel for finally making it so obvious.

Matt’s speech about his life feeling fake was a Freudian slip, and we’re seeing it more and more now this episode, and Heather is a part of that, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He loves her in a way one might love a friend or a situationship, but he’s not in love with her. Definitely not.

Heather doesn’t know both sides of him, and as I said, after what she said I don’t think she’d accept both sides of him without seeing him as a basket case. I don’t think their relationship would survive the implications of Matt being both himself and Daredevil, openly. But to love Matt Murdock is to love all sides of him, as damaged as they are, and he needs the pull between Matt and Daredevil to even exist.

We’ve seen it work before Foggy died, and you can’t take Daredevil from him without it feeling fake, so you have to accept both sides. That’s not something you can compromise on, I fear. Not when those two parts are so intertwined inside him. But that’s what makes him such a complex character, and honestly, as self-centered he can be, and he is, he still cares so deeply. And Daredevil? Definitely not just for his own gain.

Fisk taking Vanessa to see Adam was unexpected but I absolutely loved how she had the choice to set him free but shot him instead. I don’t know if this is part of some elaborate play at power or if we really have the power couple back.

‘We’re babysitting chaos’ Matt who decided to put his faith in the system because he was struggling with his faith in God and he decided, for Foggy, not to put the suit in again is finally admitting that it feels useless. Not enough.

The Matt we see is broken. He’s not the same Matt as in the original show or other Marvel cameos. He couldn’t be. He’s darker now. Even with the suit on, he still feels useless, and now that he’s pulled in all these different directions he is so close to falling apart, and that’s what we’re seeing. He’s desperate.

He’s not himself without Foggy or Karen, and now he’s flailing because he has no one in his life who accepts Daredevil or at least tries to understand. Everyone only really knows that fake version he’s put on, except for Cherry (and Fisk), and he feels trapped.

Matt misses his old life because that was the one that made him even remotely happy, when he could have everything, but then everything was taken from him and now Dex wants to see him (I wrote this before the scene came up), and it’s all just continuing to crash down. He’s everything but okay, but he refuses to deal with it because he’s got his mind set on figuring shit out and fixing it, and that is so Matt Murdock it’s almost painful. I just want to hug him.

‘You’re blowing up your life’ I think, Cherry, he’s blowing up his fake life because he can’t keep doing this and pretend everything’s fine. He always does that. The people who stuck by him are gone now, so he already feels alone. There’s not much more Matt feels he can lose, and Heather obviously doesn’t seem to count for him. Of course, he’s blowing that fake life up now because there’s so much left unsaid and unknown, and he just wants back what he’s lost, but he can’t.

I love how he went back to Hell’s Kitchen and Josie’s, and that she offered him a drink.

We finally FINALLY get some kind of additional information on what happened the night Foggy died. And Matt actually allowing himself to go after that and engage with it?? He allowed himself to think about Foggy, to say his name, and make sense of it. The timer on the bomb that was his Fake Life was running out, and then it exploded. And you know what? The fandom is fucking cheering.

Let’s talk about the whole Dex scene because HELLO? I mean, it’s one thing that he’s finally asking questions, but the way he was berating him? The ‘sweetheart’? Honesty, what did Dex think was gonna happen? Did he think Matt was going to help him out? But fuck, that was so hot. Help.

The way he grabbed his hair? Smashing his face into the table? The ‘fuck you’???

He said fuck you. Oh my God. He said the f-word again. I’m crashing out, help. (This was my live reaction)

“You’re not the only one wearing Chanel no. 5” and his little cackle LMAO

On another note, I understand that Heather’s upset because Matt really is everywhere but present and I’d be pissed too if my boyfriend wasn’t listening to me.

That being said, I’d climb that man like a Christmas tree in that suit. I mean it.

“You’re starting to worry me on a professional level” this shouldn’t be as funny as it is. I mean, if I didn’t know why he’s acting that way I’d probably worry about his sanity too, but that’s who he is, and now that Heather is seeing that version of him she doesn’t know how to deal with it. I called it.

Anyway. The way he grabbed her and pulled her in to dance?? I’m screaming without the s.

Was it Vanessa? Was it Fisk? Was it someone else? I love how we have all these theories who ordered Foggy to get killed but no answers. I NEED TO KNOW! And the fact she told him to calm down has made me a member of the WitPro Theory Club.

Matt took a bullet for Fisk. He did that. This isn’t some alternate universe, and he didn’t take that bullet for Heather, either. But he took that bullet for a man he not even a mere minute ago called a monster. And part of me thinks he did it because one, he didn’t want to give Dex the satisfaction of killing someone else, and two, he has too many unanswered questions. Or he did it for some entirely different reason, but the fact he did it absolutely baffles me in the best way possible.

Matt Murdock jumped in front of Wilson Fisk and took a bullet in the same place Foggy did the night he died, fired from the same man, and he lay there the exact same fucking way, with his heartbeat fading in the background. What the hell are these parallels? Someone sedate me oh my God. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.

Thank God we don’t have to worry about Daredevil dying because it’s literally his show, but my heart did drop into my stomach for a split second because I didn’t anticipate it.

The blue lights for Dex? The red for Matt? Fisk holding a bleeding Matt against his white suit and then Heather proceeding to kneel over him? What the actual fuck. The cinematography this episode was amazing, if I may say so.

Overall, I thank Marvel for making this episode happen because some strings felt a little loose to me ever since the first episode, but they’re tying them up, and they’re building up the storyline for season 2, and they did an incredible job.

They did the best they could with the scraps they were given, and the actors are really knocking it out of the park to make sure every scene feels authentic, especially Vincent and Charlie. I just thought I had to say that again.

WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK! And this time, I really fucking mean it.