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[ENG SUB] Deleted lines from the script, Li Lun and Zhao Yuanzhou/Zhu Yan, EP04 & EP33
I don't know what their source for the audio is but the deleted lines are from the original script. This vid edit was made by 诹拾 on Bilibili.
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Do you ever think about how for most of the show Zhao Yuanzhou's attitude towards Li Lun can be summed up as him thinking something like "you brought this upon yourself. It deeply saddens me and tears me apart to see you fall down so hard, but you cannot change what you did so now it is your fate and your responsibility to accept the consequences and your karma. And no I absolutely do not have conflicting emotions about this that make it harder to accept your eventual, permanent demise and disappearance from this world" and how that doesn't reflect his actual feelings towards Li Lun at all.
Do you ever think about how he spends the near entirety of the show convincing himself that what he feels for the guy is bone-crushing disappointment and blame for how unrepentant Li Lun acts about his sins and for his unwillingness to grow, but then in a complete unmasking of the scorn he wears like a shield all along, he pleads for Li Lun's life to be spared. And how in doing that he contradicts the only belief that keeps him going—that an unforgivable sin must be repaid with a willing sacrifice, and a great evil be slain for the greater good.
In offering Li Lun a choice (take the primordial root, spare the innocent child) he's making the willing choice to step away from evil the condition upon which hinges Li Lun's salvation. But he doesn't offer himself the same second chance. Does he really, actually believe in accepting your karma and making amends then, or is that just self-harm masked as righteousness?
Is Li Lun just the unfortunate stand-in for Zhao Yuanzhou's self-hatred?
No, no, get this, it makes so much sense. He wants Li Lun to live and to redeem himself, and yet he can't bring himself to offer the root, aka said condition for Li Lun's salvation. He's about to, goes there to have that conversation, and then he just. Freezes entirely. In that moment, Li Lun's crimes against humans are entangled and undistinguishable from his own in his mind. Quite tellingly, he's unable to admit he never condemned Li Lun, but what he always, always blamed was the devastating effect of letting malicious energy take control of you. And that's 100% projection. It's not about Li Lun at all.
In loving Li Lun openly despite his sin, without pretense and without outright blame, he'd implicitly admit he is himself loveable. and that's such an impossible thing for him to grapple with, he prefers dressing it up as condemnation.
The fact that he wanted to offer Li Lun a choice shows he's capable of separating Li Lun from the amorphous evil of his actions. Yet to know that, and to be the one offering that forgiveness are two different beasts for him. He doesn't stop Wen Xiao from extending the peace offering in his place; he just can't do it himself. And that, too, is not about Li Lun at all. Zhao Yuanzhou can't give himself relief from his self-imposed damnation. And if in the process ZYZ lets LL believe he is unworthy of that compassion, then that too is his "karma". Li Lun's hatred in response to this is part of Zhao Yuanzhou's self-punishment. It validates his self-contempt. He is unforgivable, thus he should be hated. He's evil, thus he should not get the chance to do better and strive for happiness or fulfillment
Hmmm...
I can’t help thinking that LL didn’t need to touch ZYC to transfer his energy into him (because he did it for ZYZ from afar), but he needed to touch his “victim” while he transferred his primordial spirit into another body. And after the transferring, the previous shell was still powerful enough and was able to take an action…
So, could reborn ZYZ be sure than it’s really ZYC who watches the moon with him this night?
Hmmm, I definitely need to read a fanfic about it. Or to write it myself. Yeah, definitely.
Okay, so. I tried a thing. It's a first one for me.
Not just the fandom, but writing a fic in English from scratch. This was a most educational experience.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Characters:
Zhao Yuanzhou | Zhu Yan & Li Lun
Summary:
Zhu Yan learns how to speak, finds a companion, chooses a name for himself and cultivates some basic emotions.
– Not necessarily in that order.
Note:
There's a sequel to this fic now: In the Palm of his Hand.
fic meme
ok, after taking like a year off i'm wanting to start writing again!! so, once again, i am asking for requests.
list of fic meme if you need ideas is here, full list of possible fandoms is here.
currently accepting prompts for:
mysterious lotus casebook: dihua, gen fangs of fortune: jingxiao, lizhou, mayyyyybe lizhouyi if you let me focus on li lun, gen, ship diagram perfect match: gen, most especially li family gen and/or brother-in-law alliance shenanigans, any canon ship
previous fills can be found on ao3 or in the tag.
ask box is open, anon is on! please send me prompts!
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as a treat and because I was finally able to eat something comfortably today, here are two snippets for fics I plan to eventually add to the mama yuanzhou series! so you get both baba yichen AND baba lilun (the baba yichen is a continuation from the last one hehe)
didn't talk about this enough. OKAYYY BOYFRIENDS!
