Sex is NOT enough ❌️❌️ let me live inside your sword‼️ 🗣🗣

if myy girl had scurvy i would simply feed her lemon lime juice from my mouth like a mother bird feeding its young to nurse her back to health. and then she'll dieeeee cus thats supposed to be a preventative measure not a cure. sad! 💔💔oh well

we all have that 1 mate who would easily fall under the influence of an ominous amulet

you okay babe? bad day at work? do you want me to set up your Wallace and gromit style contraption that, through a rube goldberg chain of events, lazily jerks you off with a rubber glove while hot cross buns plays on the xylophone? would that help? :(

*trent reznor voice* I wanna hunt you like a prop I wanna clip you from the inside I wanna hunt you like a prop My whole existence is source You get me closer to Gary

2025 we're rolling out new propaganda so here's a handy list of the ONLY ethical things to jerk off to: - selfcest w/ urself - kitchen appliances - the sultry yet humble Blender cube - surgery videos - imagining you will be reincarnated as a bumblebee - the DSM-5