#live beyond

Let me just leave this here because that shit’s impressive

He’s so sweet I pray I don’t get diabetes 😉🍭💙 Dating him makes diabetes a little bit better.

There's a full moon tonight, peaking through the clouds and stirring up emotions. This is a time to reflect and let go of things and habits that no longer serve us. And then join me Tuesday morning at 7am @tangerinehotpoweryoga to sweat and let go of those emotions and thoughts, opening yourself up to a amazing next couple weeks before the big Eclipse. 🌝💫

It's the lessons I've learned from incredibly painful moments. Injections. Blood tests. Bruises. Carb counts. A frustrating relationship with food. Fear. Tears. Jealousy. The constant nature of a disease I have to manage everyday of my life. High blood sugars that make me feel like I am dying. Mood swings. Sweats. Chills. Blurry vision. Juice Boxes. Hours on hold with medical companies. Insulin. All the money my mom spends just to keep her daughter alive. The guilt I sometimes feel about her having to pay because her child is sick but also wanting to stay under 26 for the rest of my life. The alarms that wake me up in the middle of the night and when they don't the people who come into my room and tell me to get up and check my blood. The time I ate sugar packets to keep myself alive. The time I was home alone lying on the floor wondering if I was going to pass out. The time my brother had to pick me up from a bike ride because I was too disoriented to make it home. The time I stole a granola bar because I had no money and no sugar. The tears in my parents eyes as they watched me give my first injections. The time my dad stood over my bed and watched me sleep because I had eaten a lot of pasta and he was afraid I was going to die.

Today I'm happy I spent time with my cousin paddle boarding. She asked me if I felt like T1D changed my outlook on life. I told her it definitely did. It made me more appreciative of all that I have. It made me always remember to take time for myself and make the most out of my life and each day I have here on earth because the future is uncertain. It taught me to face fears and be brave but that it's also ok to cry yourself to sleep sometimes and feel sorry for yourself. It taught me to keep going when it seems impossible. It taught me to be kind and not to judge others based on their perceived healthfulness. It taught me to appreciate the pleasures in life and that your happiness is the most important thing because if your not happy most days what do you have and are you truly living? It taught me to search for happiness even in the smallest simplest things in life. It taught me to respect my body and my mind and to take days to just rest and relax. It taught me to truly appreciate the days when it feels like everything is beautiful and you have boundless energy. It also taught me that days spent laying in bed feeling sleepy are just as healthy as days you spend outside your home doing endless activities. It taught me to see the tiny holes in my skin left from needles not as insecurities but as battle scars. Being diagnosed with T1D ushered in a transformative period into my life that pushed me further into maturity. It taught me to trust in the kindness and helpfulness of strangers and best friends. It taught me that even when u feel defeated that tomorrow will be better and if it's not you just have to keep going until tomorrow is better. It taught me that not everyone will understand you or support you in the way you hope they might but that if they truly care about you they will support you in the ways that they know how. It introduced me to new friends and strengthened friendships with old ones. It taught me that everyday is not going to be great but that in the end it's the great days you remember not the ones that sucked. It taught me to slow down to take breaks and breaths. I learned that illness of any kind is not the fault of anyone who has them and that sick people deserve to have their battles respected. It taught me to laugh at the craziness life throws at you and to choose joy when you can. It taught me to stand up for what I believe in. It brought me a community on the internet that I can advocate for and it brought unexpected strangers into my life who have become helpful mentors and friends. It made me really appreciate the 19 years I lived without T1D and want to fight even harder to cure this disease so children with T1D can experience the freedom of life without carb counting, insulin, blood sugar checks, and everything else T1D related. It taught me that diseases are complicated and that modern medicine, doctors, and hospitals are not perfect but that they do save lives. It gave me more respect for the medical field and for nurses. It taught me that doctors are people with lives too and that they are not scary monsters they can be great friends who care deeply about you.

Low blood sugar treats during my house party 🎉

Just diabetes things Snapchat edition