#littlebird'syapping

Pyke: Genuinely still so, so curious about Pyke and the Polaris Society. He said he didn't know why the recruited him, but could have been because of his connection with Allara or the gauntlet, meaning he had both of those before he joined, so where did he get them? And if he didn't get the gauntlet from the society, how did open the top secret vault of God Bullets?

Pyke is demiromantic and Ophelia was the first and only person he loved. His relationship with Rett isn't really romantic attraction from him (there's some of that) but it's based more in mutual trust and devotion and looks like a romantic relationship from outside, but they are private about it. He's also trans and bi.

Pyke and Rett are in a QPR. Rett is his steadiness, his firm ground to stand on, his freedom, his home base. 6 months in prison was hell after all the time he spent learning to love again after his crew was killed in a trap. It helps that Rett is so steadfast and reliable and does his research and listens when Pyke warns him of things. Pyke feels secure that Rett won't wander into a trap on someone else's orders. LOVES to get Rett all flustered and Rett WILL turn bright red, especially when Pyke whispers in his ear while other people are around. Pyke doesn't feel a lot of romantic attraction to Rett, but their relationship looks a lot like a romantic one, though neither of them is into PDA and they really keep it private. I don't know if the rest of the crew even really knows. They just are super emotionally close and sometimes make out Rett's room. Rett fell first, Pyke fell harder. Like he was originally just there for the job and tried not to get to close after losing his first crew and then one day suddenly realized oh shit I love him.

Pyke and Ko's bond was forged out of necessity and survival in prison, but he did grow to genuinely like Ko during his time there. She got to know the scrappier, rougher version of Pyke who's always in survival mode and didn't see him in his normal state until she saw him with Rett and and then it clicked to her Oh, I met the desperate survival-mode Pyke who was missing his other half. He would easily trust her with his life. She's been somewhat ingrained into his fighting style/instincts (see fight at the Hellion, ep. 3), though obviously not as much as Rett. They both have the feeling of having failed those closest to them in the past and carry that weight, not that Pyke has canonically shared that yet (someone get this emotionally constipated guy trying to prove how cool he is to share his feelings with anyone other than his partner challenge level impossible). Pyke and Pixel are friends and stuff, Pyke is mostly just concerned for Pix at this point. Like, she's having a lot of issues at the moment. And we haven't really seen a character interaction except the key chain she gave him (he treasures that key chain btw), but I feel like I'll be able to get a better read on their dynamic if they ever get a one-on-one. But Pyke definitely cares a lot about her.

Ziggy is the smartest idiot Pyke has ever met and a silly guy, but Pyke does value him for his unique skills and capabilities. He sees why Ziggy is an objectively important member of the crew and also cares about him and would do anything to save him or any other member of the team because Pyke will be damned before he loses another crew member. Pyke loves teaching his friends new stuff (I mean look at him teaching them to fly with the flight simulator he loved that). He pretends not to love talking about his nerd shows with Ziggy as much as he does. Some childlike part of Pyke that died too soon when he joined the Polaris Society just loves talking about his favorite shows, but he is too aloof to show how much he loves it (please dude drop the unflappable mask for one second and let anyone see an emotion jfc).

Pyke and Ophelia are COMPLICATED. Like he was definitely in love with her (they absolutely never said it) and then thought she was dead and then suddenly saw her again and then she robbed him and his new crew blind. Like they already didn't have great communication when they knew each other before and the years apart with no closure have NOT helped. Please someone get this man to talk about his feelings. I need a Pyke and Ophelia heart-to-heart right tf now but, as Rett would say, now is not the time. And Pyke isn't in love with her anymore. It would take a lot of time to piece them back together into any semblance of what they were before and he is happy with Rett.

Rett: SO much trauma fr. He was experimented on and sliced to pieces and blown up and stitched back together so much that sometime he isn't sure what's Rett and what was put there by GrimCo. Did they ever alter his mind? His personality? He can't even remember through the haze of battle and pain and drugs. And then he made a mistake. A wrong turn while he was driving and everything was blown to smithereens. He woke up in a hospital with half his body blown off. His unit was gone, dead, red mist, and he was nothing but a failed investment. All that time, all the surgeries and experiments hadn't been enough to make him the perfect soldier and he was cast away like a broken tool. In the aftermath he found an old, abandoned GrimCo ship and rebuilt it from the ground up, a symbol of his freedom and his ticket out among the stars, this time on his own terms. He's so gruff on the outside but really cares about his crew and really the whole galaxy, like he made it his life's mission to get rid of Redline

With Cass they were just very cute, she was his freedom when all he knew was confinement. (shameless self-promo, go read A Safe Place to Weather the Storm).

Now that he has all of the galaxy to be free in, he and Pyke are each other's constant, each other's steady ground. Rett's love languages are quality time and acts of service, so they spend a lot of time together with Rett just tinkering away on the Sparrow, tuning things up while Pyke chain-smokes and passes him tools. They're just cuties. I said most of it in Pyke's section. Like I said, Rett fell first. She walked right into it, slowly, eyes wide open. He saw himself slowly falling and let himself go, now he had all the freedom of the galaxy to do so. He didn't even really do it with the expectation of Pyke ever reciprocating, but he is down BAD for that man.

He cares for and loves Ziggy in Dad-coded way and really wants to help him. Doesn't understand why sometimes Ziggy shrinks away (see the Ziggy part). He doesn't understand Ziggy but he's doing his best and really that's all you can ask for. He tries to help out where he can and stop Ziggy from eating too many microwave burritos and he's proud of how far Ziggy has come. If Pyke is Rett's steadiness, Pixel is his safe space. Pixel is the one who gives him a place the share his deepest held and repressed feelings, either into his "captain's log" or by talking about it. They have this deep understanding of each other's struggles that he hasn't really sought out or found in anyone else outside GrimCo. Mostly sees himself as a place for her to lean (why can't Rett shares his feelings either jfc) and doesn't even see how it's healing him too. When he gave Pix his rations canister (full of drugs) and let her keep it- how she helps him let go of and process his own past-. Anyway, he sees the strength in her she can't see in herself and sees her as an invaluable member of the team.

Rett respects Ko for her ferocity and fighting spirit, even if it does get her into trouble. She has his eternal gratitude for keeping Pyke safe and supported in prison. Also loves her motorcycle Rett teaches her a little about how to take care of it herself and they bond over that. He sees the strength in her but also sees her black-and-white thinking and sees how she sometimes needs to be reined in. (it's that meme of the one person holding the leash and the other gremlin-crouching ready to attack but it's Rett with the entire crew). Rett doesn't trust Ophelia, but he trusts Pyke and that has to be enough for now because they need her. Because he hates dishonesty and tricking people so their just kind of fundamentally opposed. But I think over time he'll come to see her as more part of the crew if she sticks around.

Ko: Ko is from some little rock in space that was slowly taken over by the Kanabo crime syndicate. When they were younger her sister was her mini-me, following her around and going to metal concerts and Ko basically showed her to world and they were really close. But as her sister got older she got more independent and started doing her own thing without Ko and Ko was afraid of what the world would do to her little baby sister wand was overprotective, pushing her sister further away until she felt safer with the slimy guy she was dating than with Ko herself and eventually he convinced her to run for the stars (the parallels with Rett where Rett wouldn't leave GrimCo for his own good while Ko's sister wouldn't stay- oh they make me unwell, Rett is to Cass what Ko is to her sister)) and Ko tried, but she couldn't follow. She sometimes misses the simplicity of prison. It was very black-and-white, good guys vs. bad guys, people who will beat you up and people who won't.

She respects Rett for his strength, his steadfastness, the home he has created on the Rhapsody and the freedom he searches for (even if she doesn't know about that yet, shh). Sometimes she gets a bit frustrated when he holds her back or sees nuance that she doesn't pay attention to (or want to). But overall, they get along well. She doesn't know about the parallels but both of them were stuck in the life they constructed for themselves while the person they loved most in the world ran for the stars and never saw that person again because by the time the realized they should go it was too late for the person they lost.

Pyke is her bestie and I love that for them. She sees where he has gaps in experience, between his relatively sheltered upbringing in the society (not sheltered exactly, I just imagine he was recruited quite young and the all rich people in the society didn't really show him much about the streets and the life she has lived) and she basically took him under her wing when he showed up in prison because she saw his fighting skill and also saw that he was totally out of his depth. They still spar to let out energy and he's the one she's told the most about her past because she won't tell all that to Pixel and burden her with more stuff. Speaking of Pixel…

Ko who sees Pixel as redemption for the girl she couldn't save. Who sees Pixel as a way to redeem herself after she lost the first one. Who puts all this pressure on herself to be perfect for Pixel to prove that leaving was worth it. Who's scared of getting to close and scaring her away. Who feels this need to protect Pixel from the world (hence the Pixel-bjorn), but also has this fear of getting too close and scaring her off. Who sees Pixel as this perfect girl who proved it's possible to leave that life behind and is so, so, proud of her for leaving that life behind (no one tell her about the drugs (oh shit Pixel already did)). I ship them but they both think it's unrequited and Ko thinks that even if it was requited she wouldn't want to do that to Pix because she sees herself as so much of a mess and she doesn't want to hurt Pix or trigger anything after Mr. W. Pixel gives her make overs and cutesy little things that Ko would only EVER accept from Pixel like beaded friendship bracelets.

Ko thinks Ziggy is pretty cool, for a nerd. he's a little odd, but he's got the right idea. Ko really tries to protect him and help him be a little less naive and inexperienced and stuff. They're just friends, you know? It's very male friendship-coded, where they don't talk about personal stuff or anything but have this strong sense of companionship and just hang out all the time. Ko is starting to like Ophelia and HATES it. She's suspicious of Ophelia because of her big focus/value on being reliable and trustworthy, so she hates that Ophelia betrayed them like that and just got away with it. But she also sees Pyke trusts her and is trying to be a good friend (and wingman (girl stop he's in a relationship and his relationship with Ophelia died a long time ago)). I guess thinks her mom is really hot. She's really just trying to support whatever Pyke thinks of her, but Pyke's feeling are super unclear so she goes back and forth a lot depending on what she thinks he's feeling at the moment.

Pixel: who still makes mistakes and has a hard time sometimes because kind of abuse and manipulation and conditioning doesn't just go away when you kill your abuser. Pixel who still sometimes misses the security of Mr. W, even though she's realized how horrible he really was. Who sometimes misses the the predictability and routine of her old life and the simplicity of her dreams and the path she has to attain them. Who still, deep down, clings to the dream of being a Star even though she left that life behind. Who feel like missing that life and mourning what she almost had but that never really was is a betrayal to Ko, who is so, so proud of her for leaving and gets hope from Pixel's presence

Ziggy is her bestie! She sees herself in his uncertainty and newness to this whole thing and they totally bond over it and she makes him do face masks and they take selfies together and have self-care nights. They're just cutesy together. I keep calling things cutesy in this, idk why. Pixel and Pyke aren't that close in my mind, mostly because they haven't had a canonical deep conversation yet. As light emitting species, though, Pixel understands him better than others might because she can kind of read his glow, though it is different from a glowblin's. She's still pretty careful around Pyke because he's so emotionally distant, but overall they are friends. She did say in ep 13 or 14 that Pyke would kill her if she asked, and she's wrong, Pyke couldn't lose another crew member, especially not by killing them himself, but he isn't super forthcoming and Pixel is still a bit insecure in her place with all her crew mates.

Rett is also her safe space, someone who understands her struggles with addiction and the feeling of having your whole life and the relationship that was your whole life suddenly uprooted. She's able to confess a lot to him too, especially the things she's afraid to tell Ko because Ko is so proud of her for leaving. When she finally does get off glimmer, she will definitely lean heavily on him for support. Like, Ko will be all encouraging and like 'Hell yeah Pix, I got you', which will be great and super important, but Rett gets it and will have actual advice. Pixel really likes Ko but has a lot of issues surrounding Mr. W to work through first. She really values how honest and straightforward Ko is because she doesn't feel like Ko will manipulate her or anything. Pixel feels like missing that life and mourning what she almost had but that never really was is a betrayal to Ko, who is so, so proud of her for leaving and gets hope from Pixel's presence everyday and struggles with that and this weird feeling of guilt whenever she does a line of Glimmer.

She thinks Ophelia is so cool with all her secret agent stuff. Just doesn't trust her after stealing all their money and because Ko is suspicious lol (see ep.13 lol). I think given enough time Ophelia will definitely join in on self-care nights and be Pixel's friend. Right now Pixel isn't quite sure what to think of Ko, so she's taking her cues from the people around her.

Ziggy: Never felt like he fit in anywhere or with anyone. Ziggy is aroace and doesn't realize it (specifically aegosexual and cupioromantic). He never felt attraction but wanted a relationship but only ever theoretically, so he created Silica to be his girlfriend without having an actual girlfriend. He thinks this is a very normal and allo thing to do. Never fit in his family, in his body (hence the hoodie (he's trans with lots of dysphoria and finds the hoodie and shorts combo to be both euphoric and comfy). He was always overlooked and left behind as his siblings climbed social ladders and gained status, so he has low-self esteem. On the Rhapsody he can finally be recognized for his skills and value to the team.

He thinks Pyke is so, so cool and wants to be just like him. He did all his time in the flight simulator to impress Pyke and felt so,so proud of himself when Pyke was complimenting his technique in there. Sometimes feels the familiar sting of embarrassment and shame when Pyke thinks he's being dumb. Ziggy loves to rant about his hyperfixation shows (projecting? me? I would never) to Pyke even though Pyke pretends not to care.

He wants so bad for Rett to respect him. his parents sucked and sometimes Rett is a little to parental and Ziggy flinches when Rett reaches toward him and hates it. Really want's to impress Rett and prove he's worth it to keep around. Ziggy thinks Ko is really cool. They bond a lot over video games and their mutual awe of violence. Ko definitely gave Ziggy his first shitty beer (they only had fancy alcohol at high society functions) and it was gross but he drank the whole thing to look cool and belong.

He loves Pixel and they're so bestie. They do face masks together and she lets him yap about his video games and shows and hyperfixations. She never pushes too far, and always lets him stop if her makeovers make him dysphoric. He's honestly a little surprised she likes him or even tolerates him because she's so similar to popular girls he knew when he was little who bullied him for being different, but she embraces him for who he is. When he finally finishes a really hard level of a video game or hacks a well-defended server he'll go to Pix for her to hype him up an ramble about it.

Ziggy likes Ophelia and thinks she's really cool and wants to be friends, but he also resents her for betraying and stealing from his existing friends. I NEED that talk that Derek mentioned in ep.13 or 14 and then didn't' have. WHY DEREK DON'T FAKE ME OUT LIKE THAT. The parallels make me insane.

Ophelia: I honestly don't have much for Ophelia because we've seen so little of her, comparatively. Most of my thoughts are mixed in with the relationships.

Pyke has done a lot of bailing Ophelia out of Situations before, which is part of why his betrayal of not showing up when the mission was a trap was so hurtful. He was there to make her laugh as a dumb teenager suffering through formal balls and galas and during missions where they had long stakeouts with nothing to do but talk. Now she feels bad about how things ended up between them, but also thinks that it's kinda funny to steal from her former bestie, only for him to come back to her for help. Is genuinely a little mad that it was so easy for him to get into her families' vault that she spent so long trying to break into. I need them to talk to each other about their past.

Ophelia sees how utterly gone for Pyke Rett is. She appreciates his kindness in offering her a place on the ship when she had nowhere else to go, but also, thinks it's kinda funny that he let her back on the ship just because Pyke said so. I don't think she has any super strong feelings about him, mostly because we haven't really seen them interact much.

Ko and Ophelia are… interesting. Idk why I seem to think that Ophelia is just laughing at all of them but I kind of do. She thinks it's cute how protective Ko is of Pyke, maybe a little done with the weird combo of trying to protect Pyke and wing-man him. I don't have much to say about her and Ko yet.

I think Ophelia likes Pixel, honestly. Pix is really friendly. I think Oph underestimated her at first, but that was quickly revised when she saw Pix in battle. Given her training, Ophelia knows the importance of a support person and sees her value.

I think she sees a little of her younger self- the child of important parents who can only get their approval through following their expectations- in Ziggy, just she went along with it, and he ran off and make his own place in the world instead of conforming to the one made for him.

Anyway there is The Rambles, I might update as stuff happens and we see and learn more and my headcanons develop.

The Rett and Pixel scene! I love them so much. The depth of the character and the relationships and connections between them in this campaign is insane and my favorite thing about it. At first I was like 'Rett, why tf are you fueling her addiction" but with his backstory and such! Rett and Pixel like "please don't tell Ko I'm giving you drugs" " Oh yeah, Ko can never know about this"

Speaking of which, Rett backstory! I was so excited about this that I ended up writing a fic about THAT NIGHT at 3 am, so believe me when I say I was possessed. What do you mean Grumcorp genetically and physically altered their soldiers. What do you mean he was the perfect soldier and company man and got hooked on painkillers.

And then Pixel asks about who he was in love with " Well, I didn't kill her." Ok? I feel this is pretty baseline for a relationship? Andy got SO interested hearing about his, he is so me watching at home fr. The MASSIVE RETT LORE DROP: she was named Cass and had the bluest eyes he'd ever seen (wtf, this is so cute, why is that the first thing you mention?) and she ran a bar & grill in a company town and they moved in together. But then things fell apart bc Rett lived for the company and Cass wanted a life away from Grumcorp. And then Cas left Rett went to the restaurant to look for her and it was closed and locked and he let himself in (he had a key. He was so important to her life that he had a key to her restaurant. I'm not going insane, you are) and all her note said was "farewell". (https://archiveofourown.org/works/70116251/chapters/182033771 to see more of my thoughts)

And Rett looks back and smiles now, and he doesn't look for here because all she could give him was farewell and he's a better, different man now. PIXEL WANTS TO MEET AND FIND HER BETTER FUTURE SELF NIKKIE YOU'RE MAKING ME INSANE. And the Rhapsody is Rett's freedom (this couldn't POSSIBLY be foreshadowing for Later, with the loan). And then Rett symbolically letting go of a piece of his life at Grumcorp by giving Pixel his rations canister. Pixel and Rett hugs >>>. " You won't abandon me, right?" "Never." WHY NOT JUST STAB ME THROUGH THE HEART OK

The Hank Bjorn and suggestions for Pixel to hang from KO's caribiner (I know what you are, I see your lesbian caribiner) took me OUT

I love how much all of them love Derek doing his flight simulator impression. Pyke actually talking to people and not just being aloof, but actually being supportive? In my SDRA? And then they follow this up with another banger deep character conversation with backstory pieces and Implications, but here we are with Ko and Pyke.

1) I literally called it. Pyke didn't, show up for a job because it was a trap and he couldn't convince the others. There was a line just before the cansino heist where Pyke assured her that they would all be in their places and everyone would show up BECAUSE THE LAST TIME THEY DID A MISSION TOGETHER HE ABANDONED HER. They also make me insane

2) The Pyke is afraid of the silent and demons, and Ko values and fears her freedom, and both of them are TERRIFIED of their fear.

3) Ko backstory! The way she cares so deeply about freedom but doesn't like how others use their freedom but knows she has to let them live their lives and how her fear stopped her from following her sister and she finally overcame her fear to come to space with Pyke in hopes of stopping people like the one's who took her sister but she's still afraid of space and hates how her fear stops her from fully exercising her freedom. I need to go back and rewatch this convo, it's so fucking good. And then Pyke symbolically opens the curtains to show space and the aether whale shows up in a poetic place, like always. "Will that fill you with freedom, Pyke Starfall?" MIKEY STOP YOUR LINES ARE TOO BADASS.

Ko misses her sister and regrets every day that she didn't go after her, but also hopes her sister died because if she's still alive she will have become someone Ko hates because "she used her freedom to become the monster herself" I Need to Write About This but idk when or what.

I love the whole bit with the personal ships, but my favorite part was how badly Andy wanted Rett to sell Rex's personal ship. Look at this man

He was so hopeful.

And then the shock on Andy's face when Rett put the Rhapsody up for the loan... He's so me watching at home.

I can't deal with the Ziggy lore drop. His real first name isn't Ziggy (trans Ziggy? I know he's probably just embarrassed, but I can dream). And the not ever feeling like he belonged... oof. As my notes so eloquently say "ZIGGY. ZIGGY. I NEED YOU TO STOP RIGHT TF NOW."

The fake out with Pyke going to find Rett after his dream only to find Rex on the couch watching his own show is insane. That whole convo was just me yelling at Mace because he is not allowed to make me feel things like that about such a jackass of a character. And then OPHELIA MADE PYKE CARE ABOUT LIVING CARE IF HE DIED AND HE BEGGED HER TO RUN BUT SHE WOULDN'T AND IT'S KINDA HIS FAULT HER MEMORIES WERE WIPED. Oh my god the parallels with Cass/Rett and Pyke/Ophelia where one begged the other to go and the other stayed because of their loyalty to the company I can't even-

The little Hank salute as they switched over controls was so cute

And then the end of ep. 11. to quote my notes "OH. OK. OK, MACE." I was SHOOK

Anyway, I loved ep 11 so much. We got cool character moments and bits of backstory from everyone, cool stuff went on it was great. i had something to say here, but I forgot

I have much fewer notes for ep. 12, mostly because it was mostly plot driven, so I was at least a little less insane with character reveals and such. And I was tired.

When Pyke heard that Rett put up the Rhapsody for the loan and the way he immediately locked in. I think that's the most locked in this group has ever been.

And then Ko seeing Anatra blown up and seeing the parallels to her own sister who ran off with a drug syndicate too, (and maybe having some hope that her sister would one day run) and seeing what can happen to girls like her.

Nikkie really rp'd her ass off int he 1st session like a champ, especially considering how sick she was feeling, and I loved how Mikey was really paying attention to keeping track of Pixel and making it feel like she was still there in the world, even though Nikkie had to leave.

Richie with the offhand Dandy mention just to get a joke in and the way Pyke looked at him at the mention of her name...

And then during the fight with the creature in the pit, with Andy and Richie scheming off to the side and Andy asking for his thoughts on if he should use and ability.... Idk, I just like seeing how they're all friends, y'know?

The whole episode kinda just had me Very Concerned About Pixel in general. there was a lot going on with her and it's very unclear what it is. If anyone has any theories, lmk. I'm curious what people are thinking.

I am also scared for the Rhapsody, considering the Don is now dead. I mean, they do have Shitmouth Shitjaws and captain Sawtooth in the brig to turn in, but they can't rn because of the hit out on them. (I have Thoughts about the hit on them).

"The empire you built is an empire of fucking ash." to quote andy, probably quoting something I am unaware of, that's some badass shit to say to a motherfucker.

The reveal that Rex was alive at the end. The insane series of events to lead to that between the hot tub and the whisky flask blocking shrapnel to the OCTON IN THE LAKE BEING ALLERGIC TO HIS COLOGNE.

This was a really fun two sessions and I love just seeing how much they all love this campaign and how much fun they are having.