islanders' data and anecdotes if they were honest:
SEASON 1
❝ main character ❞ she's the only one that makes any sense
❝ allegra ❞ 24, swansea, cocktail entrepreneur, the public loves to hate her
❝ erikah ❞ 20, norwich, jobbing actor, she changes, every guy will be the love of her life until a new guy comes around
❝ jen ❞ 22, london, fashion blogger, the equivalent of a piece of paper until she couples up with someone for clout
❝ talia ❞ 23, watford, music journalist, she's the only one everyone agrees is the best person here
❝ jake wilson ❞ 29, preston, chef, chicken shit that waits way too long to say something
❝ mason❞ 24, romford, musician and underwear model, if "this could've been an email" was a person
❝ miles ❞ 22, glasgow, carpenter, not interesting enough to remember. also tattoo
❝ tim ❞ 23, truro, dj, alright, we'll allow it
❝ jasper ❞ 26, kingston, financial advisor, straight to the bin
❝ levi ❞ 26, manchester, professional water polo player, sock balls
❝ rohan ❞ 23, wolverhampton, psychology student, he joined the villa and that's pretty close to the circus. also, see "injustice"
❝ cherry❞ 20, suffolk, west end performer, try hard
❝ reese taylor ❞ 22, birmingham, newsagent by day, professional wrestler at weekends, revolting lack of personality
❝ sammi ❞ 22, london, graphic designer and artist, the definition of 'wasted potential"
❝ lucy ❞ 25, bristol, “adventurer”, *snake sounds*
❝ returning miles ❞ 22, glasgow, carpenter, we still don't care
❝ returning jasper ❞ 22, kingston, financial advisor, at least we found out he has a pet snake
SEASON 2
❝ hope ❞ 26, london, brand ambassador, '‘voted “most likely to be the center of the drama because she puts herself there"
❝ lottie ❞ 24, melbourne, makeup artist, i have one personality trait and that's all you're gonna get
❝ main character ❞ she should change her name to 'girl #5'
❝ hannah ❞ 21, st. albans, social media assistant, she went home really soon because she was so shy, we're sure that's not gonna bite anyone in the face
❝ marisol ❞ 24, portsmouth, law student, talks too much/says nothing at all
❝ gary rennell ❞ 23, chatham, crane operator, SLUT
❝ noah ❞ 25, romford, librarian, QUIET SLUT
❝ rocco ❞ 21, belfast, owns a “cocktails and cronuts” food truck, LYING SLUT
❝ ibrahim ❞ 22, birmingham, gold player, SHY SLUT
❝ bobby mckenzie ❞ 24/26, glasgow, hospital caterer, does impressions and bakes some stuff
❝ priya ❞ 29, manchester, estate agent, should've noticed she's bi during the fucking season
❝ henrik ❞ 23, isle of wight, climbing and wilderness survival instructor, shiny and dumb/smooth brain/nothing behind those eyes
❝ lucas koh ❞ 27, oxford, physiotherapist, yes
❝ chelsea ❞ 23, buckinghamshire, interior decorator, there's pink and there's champagne
❝ jakub zabinski ❞ 25, rochdale, personal trainer and fitness model, real life mutant ninja turtle but like white
❝ elijah ❞ 26, watford, hairdresser and model, he's there and then he's not
❝ felix ❞ 21, rotherham, nightclub promoter, annoying little cousin that grows up to be the annoying little virgin at the club
❝ kassam ❞ 26, new castle, techno dj, if you blink you might miss him
❝ graham ❞ 23, devon, commercial fisherman, ginger thanos
❝ arjun ❞ 24, norwich, dog groomer and influencer, "where's my hug?" kind of guy
❝ carl ❞ 29, dublin, tech entrepreneur, he's almost learning how not to sound like a robot
❝ shannon ❞ 24, dublin, professional poker player, "you'll forgive how annoying she can be because of her body"tactics, players, poker analogies all the time"
❝ blake ❞ 22, kensington, if you blink you won't miss her because she's so goddamn annoying
❝ elisa ❞ 22, london, social media influencer, the human form of a gear shift because of all the blame she shifts
❝ jo ❞ 23, cheshire, bmx racer, was here for only three days and it was still too long
❝ returning henrik ❞ 23, isle of wight, climbing and wilderness survival instructor, absolutely not the same person and it gets worse
❝ returning lucas ❞ 27, oxford, still a physiotherapist, "toxic fucks"
❝ returning hannah ❞ now 22, st. albans, she resented lottie so much she became her
