#lit post

A Uriah & Kenny Lit Piece

It was late in the evening when Uriah finally finished the examinations he’d been called in to perform. Thankfully nothing went beyond routine, surface-level inspection. Every snake he’d gotten to handle proved docile and healthy, kept under excellent care and conditions. If anything, a few seemed close to shedding, and they’d merely be kept back from the—for lack of a better word—unique services Kenneth Huggins’s business provided. The only downside to the day was how long and exhausting it had been. Lab work, diagnostics, sample collection, breeding attempts and so on for his day job, and then this called-in favor on top of eight hours. Uriah was rolling his shoulders to ease tension from his back by the time he caught the elevator to the HR floor.

“Well, at least he’s paying me for my time,” Uriah muttered to himself, leaning against the wall. He sighed heavily, watching the numbers slowly tick by on the elevator screen. This was a strange sort of circumstance he found himself in, knowing the secret the CEO kept, but the additional money was a boon when bills came due. And he did need to go on a grocery run soon…

Though, he’d be lying if he said the money was all that made him accept the offer. He’d crossed paths with Kenneth once or twice since the day the not-quite-normal businessman sauntered into his own office at the institute. The initial attraction was still there. Try as he might, Uriah couldn’t deny the natural charm Kenneth carried himself with. He was cordial, gracious, and very easy to look at. It had been a good long while since Uriah had pursued anything intimate. Kennth Huggins, however, wasn’t the average fling, nor was he standard relationship material, if tabloids were to be believed. Normally, Uriah wouldn’t pay such rumors any mind, but in this case… Perhaps weighing the pros and cons was in his best interest; he didn’t want to end up being a call boy for one of the city’s elite. He’d focus on the pay for his work, and if Kenneth made another move, then he could broach the subject.

He pushed himself upright as the doors opened, sliding sideways past a cluster of clerical staff headed home for the day. Uriah nodded to them politely before heading for the front desk, still manned for the next half-hour.

“Hi, miss. I’m sorry to bother you so close to quitting time, but I was told to head up here for payment?”

The woman looked over the rim of her angled glasses. “You’re in the right place. Something wrong with your direct deposit?”

“Oh, no, no, I’m not a regular employee. Mr. Huggins offered me some extra work, but… Come to think of it, he never did send me paperwork about the payment aspect, just my clearances and the description.”

She seemed perplexed, then raised her eyebrows in recognition. “Ah, yes, now I remember. You’re the herpetologist he brought on for routine checks, right? Doctor Hoffman?”

“That’d be me.”

“Yes, that’s right. Mr. Huggins informed me your pay would be handled personally.”

Uriah lifted one eyebrow. “Personally?”

“Personally,” she repeated. “I did suggest offering you a routine direct deposit, but he said you two were on friendly terms and he’d prefer to cut your check himself. A little unorthodox, but…”

“Seems the usual for him,” Uriah quipped, drumming his fingertips on the counter. “So, where do I go to see the man in charge, then?”

“You can head on back to his office. It’s at the end of the hall there, certainly can’t miss it. He’s not in right now, finishing up his last conference call downstairs, but he should be up in—“ She swiveled in her chair and glanced at the clock behind her. “—Oh, give or take the next fifteen, thirty minutes?”

“Greeeeaaaaaaat,” Uriah drawled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Past closing time…”

“I know it’s a bit inconvenient, but he says you’re allowed to go on ahead. I’ll be locking up things here, but Mr. Huggins always stays late a few times a week. He knew you were coming today, so he shouldn’t leave you hanging too long.”

“Right.” He sighed, turning to trudge down the hall. The skeptic in him began to worry this was an elaborate ruse to avoid paying him for services rendered. “Guess I’ll wait, then. Thanks…?”

“Donna.”

“Donna,” Uriah confirmed, nodding. “You have a good night.”

Parting from the desk, Uriah followed the directions he’d been given until he reached the rather heavy and impressive door to Kenneth’s office. For a moment, he hesitated, considering simply coming back in the morning. He was tired, and he’d had a long day, and the last thing he wanted was to be driving home any more exhausted than he was. But he was already here, so he may as well get it over with.

Inside, the office was sleek and, dare he say, seductive almost. Floor-to-ceiling windows along the outer wall with a pleasant city skyline view, a desk that probably cost more than a two of the doctor’s paychecks, and a rather impressive leather couch. For the size, he was surprised it didn’t have much furniture, but then when he considered Kenneth’s unique anatomy… Perhaps opulent minimalism made the most sense. He put his hands into his pockets and traipsed around slowly, letting out a low whistle as he glanced at a small table with a personal espresso machine. One of the nicer ones on the market.

“Well, can’t fault him for taste.” Uriah eventually wound back to the couch. Seeing as he still had plenty of time to wait, he could take a load off. The sigh he let out felt bigger than he’d anticipated as he reclined, eyes on the ceiling, briefly glancing at his watch before letting his arm flop back down. “And now, we wait…”

Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen… The longer he lay there, the more the wear and tear of the day got to him. And it was an extremely comfortable couch. It was unintentional, but Uriah found himself drifting off. He wasn’t sure how long he was out before a gentle tapping to his forehead began to rouse him.

“Doc…Doooooooc… Anybody home in there?”

Groggy eyes blinked open. First, he noticed the pen dangling above his face, lightly poking him. Then, the playful smirk on Kenneth Huggins’s face beaming down at him. “Good evening, starshine.”

Uriah groaned and shooed his pen away, running a hand over his face before sitting up. “Ugh, what time is it…?”

“Eight-thirty, roughly.”

“Wha…? Damn, you took your time.” He’d gotten in to the office at seven.

“Had I known you were waiting, I would’ve ended the meeting early,” Kenneth teased. He ruffled Uriah’s hair, laughing as he was swatted away, and moved to his desk.

“Look, I’ve been up since five this morning. I’m beat, okay? I just came up here to sort out my pay.”

“Hm?”

Uriah stood, hands in his pockets again. “My pay, Kenneth? For examining your extensive noodle collection downstairs?”

“Oh, right. Your check. We should settle those terms,” he said casually, leaning back against his desk.

“I mean, you gave me a number when you cornered me at work, remember?”

“But there’s more to this mutually beneficial venture than the money, no?”

Uriah met his jovial expression with one that was work-weary. “Are you suggesting…?”

“I’m a businessman, darling. Negotiations are my day-to-day. I am more than happy to debate terms and conditions of our little arrangement.”

“Ha! Terms and conditions,” Uriah scoffed, lightly scuffing the carpet before walking over to look out the window. For a crime-riddled metropolis, Gotham certainly had its perks in the nighttime views. He watched a few distant headlights cruising the streets below.

“I want us both to be happy, naturally,” Kenneth said with a shrug. “Consent is key, you know.”

Uriah hummed in acknowledgment, and Kenneth watched him watch the city for a few beats of silence.

“So,” Kenneth said, rocking to his feet to approach from behind, “what would make you happy?”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course.”

He huffed, humored. “Well, I’ll be…a member of Gotham’s elite caring about the wants of little ol’ me.”

“Oh, take me seriously for a moment, sweetheart! You wound me!”

“Alright, alright, I get you.” Uriah folded his arms, exhaling as he gave it some thought. “…How serious were you about liking me? What you said, when you found me at work?”

“You mean besides keeping my secret?”

“Yeah. The…other part. Look, I know what the tabloids say about you, I get you’re popular, and plenty of people fall all over you, alright? I’m not expecting exclusivity. I just…y’know, prefer sincerity. If you actually like me, great. If not, I wanna know how far to lower my expectations.”

“If it’s sincerity you want,” Kenneth said softly, hands resting on Uriah’s shoulders and gently stroking down his arms, “it’s sincerity you’ll get.”

“On a scale of one to ten?”

“What? As in how I’d rate you? Don’t cheapen yourself,” he chuckled.

“Kenneth—“

“But if you must know, a solid ten. You’re adorable when you’re playing coy.”

“Ugh, I don’t ’play coy,’” Uriah insisted. But he blushed all the same as Kenneth bent close and kissed his cheek.

“Shall we proceed?” When Uriah hesitated, heat coming off of his face, Kenneth chuckled against his ear. “With the negotiations, sweetheart.”

“Oh. Oh, uh, yeah, I just…don’t know what all to ask for… I mean, I want paid, obviously.”

“That’s the bottom of the barrel right there,” Kenneth teased. His arms held Uriah’s waist, fingertips toying with subtle folds in the fabric of his shirt. “Ask for more. Go big.”

“…Limo?”

A laugh escaped him. Uriah cracked a smirk.

“Not that big!”

“Fair. Wouldn’t know what to do with the damn thing, anyway.”

“If I may make a suggestion? Perhaps routine visits outside this office, to…ensure my continued sincerity, shall we say?”

Uriah chuckled as Kenneth kissed his cheek, down his jaw, slowly moving lower. It felt good, getting that kind of attention. He let himself drift in it for a moment, breathing, relaxing.

“Mm…Kenneth?” Uriah cracked open an eye, head tilting to the side as he felt Kenneth’s lips getting a little more insistent against his neck.

“Hmm?”

“This is nice,” he murmured dryly, “but it won’t pay my bills.”

“Won’t it? That’s a shame.”

“You promised to pay me,” Uriah lilted, smirking as he felt a small huff against his skin. Kenneth reached around and pulled at his tie, the knot and his shirt collar loosening.

“Can we play first? My checkbook isn’t going anywhere, and neither are you.” Kenneth’s voice was almost a growl in his ear. Uriah couldn’t help but chuckle softly, patting one of the hands teasing along his torso.

“You just don’t like being told ‘no’, do you?” Not that he was saying ‘no’. Uriah was always very clear when he was putting his foot down, and Kenneth respected his wishes in such circumstances—if not for the teasing even as he’d back off.

“It’s not my favorite word in the English language,” Kenneth joked. Uriah’s shirt was unbuttoned, fabric slipping off his shoulders. Thick, scaled coils pooled around the two of them where they stood. A soft gasp left the man’s lips as the space between his throat and shoulder was lightly bitten. Uriah barely swallowed the moan that tried to escape him. Not yet. He’d make Kenneth work a little more to get those sounds out of him.

“Shall we negotiate, then?” Kenneth purred. Uriah met his gaze through the reflection in his office’s window.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing already?”

He was guided back, coils shifting to allow him to be cornered against the desk. His shirt was lost to the scaled mass, Kenneth’s strong hands lifting Uriah onto the desk’s surface before working on unfastening his belt.

Kenneth whispered into his ear, “What about dinner?”

“I’m not picky.”

“Italian?”

Uriah chuckled as a ticklish kiss was placed on his cheek. “I hope you don’t just mean pizza?”

“No, no. I can do better than that, I assure you.”

“So, somewhere nice, then?”

“Somewhere nice,” he confirmed. Uriah felt his belt slowly pulled free. He swallowed.

“What else…?”

Kenneth pulled back and smirked at him, humored. “You’re the one negotiating terms, darling.”

“O-Oh, right, right…” His face reddened as Kenneth eased him down, a coil cradling his head. His eyes roamed the ceiling as he felt Kenneth working on removing the last of his clothes, taking his time. Every gesture was calculated, sensual. He stroked a nearby patch of tail as Kenneth slipped one shoe off, kissing his ankle.

“I come to your place after…?”

“I’m agreeable to that,” Kenneth said with a smile. That one was less playful, more genuine. “For more of this?”

“Perhaps.”

“At least a cuddle, and I get to use my eyes on you.”

Uriah raised his head and gave Kenneth a scrutinizing look. “At least a cuddle, and maybe you get to use your eyes.”

“It’s more fun with the eyes.” Kenneth let his eyes pulse once, a ring of blue breaking up his golden brown irises, and Uriah stubbornly averted his gaze, one hand raised to block further attempts.

“Maybe I want my head to be clear sometimes,” Uriah countered. “I might like to remember the details now and then.”

Realizing what he’d said, he quickly let his head drop back down onto the coil pillow behind it and stared up at the ceiling with a flustered huff. He could hear Kenneth chuckling.

“Don’t laugh,” Uriah pouted, crossing his arms. “Not when you’ve got me half-naked and on your damn desk like this!”

“You’re very endearing, Doc, that’s all,” he said. His tone was genuine again. The end of his tail stroked through Uriah’s hair and down his cheek before playfully tapping his nose. Uriah lightly swatted it away. He almost didn’t realize when Kenneth finally tugged his pants off. But then the handsome creature was leaning over him, hands bracing on either side of his head, smiling down with that dangerous allure of his. He reached up with a hand and traced the line of Kenneth’s jaw.

“Any other demands you’d like to make?”

“Don’t smoke around me, if you can help it,” he replied, voice firm.

“Ah,” Kenneth sighed, amused, “I was beginning to suspect it bothered you.”

“You might be immune to it, but I’m a standard human being and I don’t fancy the consequences of the habit. Or the smell. No offense.”

“None taken. So, I keep my cigarettes out of sight and mind when you’re around. Easily done. Anything else at this time, handsome?”

“…Not at this time,” Uriah said quietly, eyes roaming over Kenneth’s impressive figure before focusing on his face. Knowing what he could do, it was a rather bold move of vulnerability. Kenneth admired and appreciated that. Scales brushed against thighs, bodies close together. Uriah inhaled deeply as a kiss was placed on his forehead first, and then one on each cheek, before Kenneth finally drew him into a proper one. Uriah tried to hold back, he really tried, but Kenneth clearly knew what he was doing, and a moan finally slipped out of him.

“Shall we seal the deal, then? To potentially be amended later, as both parties see fit?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go with that.”

“Very well…Ah, I nearly forgot. Eyes?”

Uriah searched Kenneth’s expression. He was…actually letting him choose. That gave him a small flutter in his chest. As he mulled it over, Uriah brushed some of Kenneth’s hair back from his face, traced his broad shoulders, took in the sight and feel of him. He could’ve never anticipated finding himself in this particular scenario, bargaining what was essentially a friends-with-benefits arrangement with one of Gotham’s wealthiest bachelors. The said bachelor wasn’t human, on top of it all, and Uriah was surprised that little detail didn’t phase him. He gently toyed with a lock of Kenneth’s hair a moment more before he exhaled and fully committed to his decision.

“No eyes. I wanna be lucid this time around.”

“This time?” Kenneth raised a brow and smirked playfully.

“Yeah, well, if you ‘negotiate’ well enough, maybe I’ll agree to it next time,” Uriah teased back. “Maybe.”

... Given how the students she passed up in the hallway very blatantly tried to get out of her way and avoid her, though, Hesper was pretty certain it'd take more than one good dorm-call to win over the student body again. Still, this was a good first step. A demonstration as to how a nurse's visit should go.

Before long, Hesper found herself in front of the dorm number tied to Kieran. She checked to make sure the hallway was empty and gently rapped on the door with a knuckle. "Kieran? It's Dr. Fòghnan with the Nurse’s Office. May I come in?"

From THE MOVING FINGER (1942).

No one ever talks about how funny Agatha Christie is!!!! In the above scene Megan's mother's died the night before but it's hilarious how the narrator describes his tone in talking to her.

Edited to add a slang i've never heard before (lol!):

"I now admit nothing which is not necessarily true: I am therefore, precisely speaking, only a thing which thinks, that is to say, a mind, understanding, or reason, terms whose significance was hitherto unknown to me. I am, however, a real thing, and really existing; but what thing? [...] I will stir up my imagination in order to discover if I am not this assemblage of limbs called the human body; I am not a thin and penetrating air spread through all these members; I am not a wind, a breath of air, a vapour, or anything at all that I can invent or imagine, since I have supposed that all those things were nothing, and yet, without changing this supposition, I find I am nevertheless certain that I am something."