#liora

Now all that was behind me; I was curled up in Felix’s arms on the apartment sofa, my legs draped over his, his arm wrapped around my waist, my head resting against his chest. The heat was on, and the living room had that warm atmosphere that makes you want to stay put for hours.

On TV, they were showing that movie where the husband wakes up in a dog’s body. It wasn’t exactly a cult classic, but there was something strangely entertaining about it. The protagonist was trying to adjust to having four legs while his wife suspected that their dog was acting… weird.

— That would be horrible — I murmured when the dog knocked over a vase with its tail.

— You’d get used to it — Felix replied, distracted, playing with my fingers.

I looked up at him, watching him for a few seconds, his relaxed profile, the way he furrowed his brow ever so slightly when something in the movie didn’t make sense.

— If I were a shark — I asked suddenly — Would you still like me? — Felix let out a short laugh

— What?

— Answer me...

— Why would you be a shark? Aren’t you afraid of them?

— It doesn’t matter, just answer — he looked at me with that expression somewhere between confused and amused

— Yeah, I guess

— ‘I guess’? — I asked

— Yeah, I’d love you, ____ shark. You’d have your own fishbowl in the bathtub — he replied. I smiled, satisfied

— What if I were a turtle? — This time he looked at me more directly

— Are you competing with Donatello?

— Just answer

— Yeah

— Even if I were slow?

— You’re already slow sometimes — I gave him a gentle nudge in the stomach

— Felix

— Yeah, turtle, I’d like you too — I nodded thoughtfully; the movie kept playing, but my mind was already elsewhere

— What if I were… I don’t know, a cactus?

— A cactus?

— Yes

— That would be uncomfortable, you know, because of the spines...

— Answer me — I stared at him, Felix sighed dramatically

— Yes, that too

— What if I were invisible?

— Easier to hide when you break things

— Felix

— Yeah, invisible too — each answer came with less resistance, more automatic; I settled in a little closer to him

— What if it were a cloud?

— Uh-huh

— What if it were a ghost?

— Sure

— What if it were a grumpy eighty-year-old lady?

— You probably already are, in secret

— Hey! — I complained, and he laughed.

— Yeah, that too — before I could continue, something hit me on the head; it was a pillow

— Can you two stop asking existential questions and let me watch the movie? — Rhea grumbled from the other end of the couch

— They’re important — I protested

— The dog just figured out he can bark words, and you guys are talking about sharks and who knows what else — Felix laughed and pulled me closer to him, resting his chin on my head

— Hush, pretty girl — he whispered to me

— I’m not done — I tried to ask another question, but he covered my mouth with his hand

— Don't even think about it — I let out an indignant sound against his palm — Shh, we don't want to make Rhea any angrier — he whispered close to my ear

Then he removed his hand just to kiss me on the cheek, a soft, slow kiss; his other hand began to play with my hair, twirling strands between his fingers and untangling them with distracted patience.

I stayed still, not because I wanted to stop asking questions, but because that gesture... always disarms me. There’s something about the way he plays with my hair that makes me feel small in a good way, makes me feel... cared for.

— Do you know why I’m asking? — I murmured softly

— Because you’re bored? — he asked, tilting his head

— No — I shook my head

— Because you’ve watched too many weird movies? — he tried again, but I shook my head again

— No, not that either — he raised an eyebrow

— Then why? — he asked. I stared at him, and for a second I hesitated to speak.

— Because I want to know that you’d be with me no matter what — I confessed. His expression barely changed—not dramatically, just a slightly more serious look.

— ____ — he said softly. — I’d be with you even if you were unbearable.

— I already am...

— Exactly, and I still like you — he pulled me a little closer to him, and I smiled

He kissed my cheek again and kept playing with my hair while his gaze returned to the screen; the movie continued, the dog ran through the garden trying to write with its paws, Rhea sighed dramatically every time we interrupted, and I snuggled closer to Felix.

If I were a shark, if I were a turtle, if I were anything strange and absurd, as long as he kept answering “Yes” with that naturalness… I think I’d be okay.

The movie ended without us really paying attention to the ending; at some point, Rhea got up, grumbling about our inability to keep quiet, and went to her room. Felix and I stayed on the couch a little longer, talking about nothing until sleep began to weigh on my eyelids, and we ended up in his bed.

The room was dark, barely lit by the dim light coming in from the street. I was curled up against him, one leg over his, his arm wrapped around me with that absent-minded firmness he always has, even when asleep.

— Felix — I whispered, catching his attention

— Mmm

— If I were a pufferfish... — I began, but he let out a long sigh

— ____...

— What?

— Go to sleep… please

— Just answer me — I asked

— Yes, I’d love you all puffed up and poisonous too — I smiled against his chest

— What if I were allergic to you?

— That would be a logistical problem; you wouldn’t be able to kiss me

— But answer me

— Yes — he murmured, his patience worn thin — I would — I lifted my head slightly to look at him in the dim light

— What if I lost my memory?

— You’re not going to lose it

— But what if I did? — I asked seriously. He opened one eye and fell into thought.

— I’d win you over again — he said finally, and my heart skipped a beat at that.

— Really? — I asked hopefully.

— Yes, now go to sleep — he asked. I settled in more comfortably, resting my head on his chest.

— All right, get some rest...

I officially decided to sleep. His hand began to stroke my back with slow, steady movements, moving up and down gently, setting a rhythm that made me feel small and protected. He always does that when he notices I’m restless. I listened to his steady, regular heartbeat, my breathing began to match his, and I fell asleep.

I don’t know how much time passed before I woke up; the room was darker, the silence deeper, that indefinite hour of the early morning when the world seems suspended. I was thirsty. I blinked several times, still drowsy, and sat up just enough to reach for the glass of water I always leave on the nightstand, a habit I’ve had since I was a child. That’s when I noticed the light, a small white light illuminating Felix’s face. It was my phone. My phone was in his hands. I blinked again, confused.

— What are you doing? — I murmured in a voice thick with sleep. He didn’t seem startled, or even guilty. He barely looked up at me, but his expression was different, harder, more… cold

— I’m making sure no one tries to take you away from me — his tone wasn’t playful, it wasn’t tired; it was something I hadn’t heard from him before, something deeper. I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to process it. “I guess that’s normal,” I thought. Felix is my first boyfriend; I have nothing to compare it to. Maybe in relationships, people do this, make sure, check, and take care

— Ah, okay — I nodded slowly

I picked up the glass of water and took a couple of sips; the water was lukewarm, but enough to soothe my dry throat. Felix turned his gaze back to the screen. I slid my body toward him again, settling against his chest as before. His arm wrapped around me automatically, but his attention remained fixed on the phone; the light illuminated his tense jawline.

— Why is Lucien sending you hearts? — he asked suddenly. It took my mind a second to connect the question to something coherent

— Because... — I yawned — His dad checks his messages

— And?

— So he sends hearts to make it look like he’s interested — Felix was silent for a few seconds

— Interested in what? — he asked more seriously

— In me — I replied simply — But he isn’t — I felt his chest expand beneath my cheek

— And you?

— No, it’s just until he goes to France — the answer came out automatically and honestly, because there was nothing to hide; he kept scrolling through the conversations as if it were the most natural thing in the world, sometimes pausing

— What does this mean?

— It’s a joke.

— And this other thing?

— That was sarcasm — I replied calmly, without anxiety; there was nothing strange about it, nothing to worry me.

— You should give me your passwords — he said suddenly. He didn’t say it as a suggestion; he said it as if it were a logical step. I stayed silent for a second and then nodded.

— Yeah, sure — I have nothing to hide, no secrets, no hidden motives. If that makes him feel better... Why not? I rested my hand on his chest — Do you want me to give them to you now?

— Tomorrow — he replied without taking his eyes off the screen and kept checking

I snuggled closer to him, letting fatigue pull me back in. The light from the phone kept flickering against my closed eyelids, but the rhythm of his breathing became steady again. Maybe this is part of loving someone, making sure... protecting what’s yours. Felix has always been intense; I know that, but he’s also the one who tells me I’d fall in love again if I lost my memory, the one who plays with my hair until I fall asleep, the one who answers “Yes” even when I ask silly questions. I felt his hand move absently over my arm as he kept looking at his phone.

— No one is going to take you away from me — he murmured, almost to himself. It didn’t sound like a threat; it sounded like a promise, and I decided to believe that was a good thing. I closed my eyes again; the glass of water remained on the nightstand, the light from the phone continued to glow for a few more minutes, and I fell asleep on his chest, convinced that everything was fine

It’s early; the light barely filters through the curtain, soft and grayish as if the day were still deciding whether it wants to fully begin. I’m awake, but not awake enough to want to get up. I’m comfortable, too comfortable.

Felix is behind me, hugging me around the waist, his chest against my back, his warm breath on my neck, one of his legs trapping mine so I can’t escape, as if at some point I’d tried to. I have my phone in my hands, and he’s looking at it too; I swipe the screen slowly while he rests his chin on my shoulder.

— What are you looking at? — he murmurs, his voice still hoarse from sleep

— Nothing interesting... — I reply

Until a notification pops up; I’ve been tagged in a photo. I frown slightly and open it, and then I laugh. It’s from that event I went to several weeks ago, the art exhibition where I ended up running into Adam and Chloe.

In the picture, Adam is staring with an exaggeratedly frightened expression at a completely white canvas with a single red splatter in the center. I’m standing next to him holding a glass of wine that actually belonged to him and pretending that I was the one who ruined the artwork. The scene looks like an artistic crime; Adam looks traumatized, and I look guilty. It’s ridiculous.

— Look, — I say to Felix, tilting my phone slightly so he can see better; he leans in closer to me

— What is that?

— A painting that looked like a stained wall — I smile again — And him pretending to have a heart attack because I “ruined” modern art — Felix looks at the photo for a few seconds

— I didn’t know you had male friends — he says in a light tone — You should’ve told me sooner — then he laughs as if it were a joke, and I laugh too

— It’s Adam; we went to high school together

— Oh — he stares for another second — He looks so dramatic

— He was always like that

I keep swiping my finger across the screen, comments, reactions, Chloe left a crying-with-laughter emoji, Adam wrote something about “artistic vandalism,” but Felix plants a kiss on my neck, first one, then another, and another slower one, and I pretend it doesn’t affect me.

— I’m reading — I tell him

— That doesn’t stop you from listening — he replies against my skin, his lips moving down a little further, my breathing barely changes, but I keep my eyes fixed on the screen

— I need to concentrate — I murmur.

 — Mmm — I feel him smile against my neck before leaving another, more insistent kiss, and I try to ignore it, I really do, but my mind starts to wander. Between one notification and another, I remember something.

— Hey — I say suddenly

— Hm?

— A professor told me something interesting — I begin, and he pauses briefly

— What is it?

— There’s a course I could take in another city; it’s short, but it would be good for my resume — I say. The room falls silent, not awkwardly, just… silence

— In another city? — he finally asks

— Yeah, it’s not that far — he traces slow circles on my stomach with his hand

— But we’d see each other less… — his tone is soft; he doesn’t sound upset — I’m sure you don’t need it right now — he adds. I think about it for a second; maybe he’s right. It’s not urgent, just a possibility

— I don’t know — I say — I just mentioned it

— Mmm — his embrace tightens a little — I like it when you’re here

— I’d rather be here too — and I mean it; with him, everything feels simpler

Later, the day goes by with little things: a quick breakfast, Rhea complaining about something trivial, Donatello moving across the floor at his steady pace. In the afternoon, I have plans with Rhea, so I got changed and picked out a dress I like. It's not over the top, but it is pretty. The fabric falls softly to my knees, and the color stands out a little more in the natural light. When I step out of the room, Felix looks up and stares at me a second longer than usual.

— What? Do you like it? — I ask, turning slightly on my heel

— You look beautiful in it — he says, and I smile

— Thanks — his gaze drops a little

— But out there, people are bound to stare at you too much... Don’t you want something less flashy? — I blink; he doesn’t say it reproachfully, he says it softly, almost worriedly. I look at the dress; it doesn’t seem over the top to me, but maybe it does draw a little attention

— Do you think so? — I ask

— I’m just saying — he shrugs — I like it when you look like this with me... — I feel a strange warmth in my chest, as if it were something special... something only we share

— Okay — I say finally. I go back to the closet and change into something a little simpler, just as pretty, but less... noticeable. When I come back, he smiles

— You still look pretty — he says. I walk over and give him a quick kiss.

— You’re exaggerating.

— Never — I head out shortly after with Rhea, feeling light. I don’t think too much about the class, or the comment about Adam, or the dress; I just think it’s sweet that he cares, that he wants me to be okay, that he’d rather have me close by. As we walk toward the door, I hear his voice behind me — Let me know when you get there — I give him a thumbs-up without turning around

— I always do — and I do, because I like that he cares, because I like that he looks at me as if I were the only important thing in the room, and because somehow, all of that makes me feel...chosen

Sunday started out normally. I had breakfast in my apartment, got dressed at my own pace, and went out to meet Amélie. We’d planned to grab coffee after class and walk around downtown for a while. Nothing out of the ordinary, just light conversation, laughter, and that pleasant feeling of talking again about pirouettes, choreography, and demanding teachers.

— You look tired — Amélie said as she stirred her coffee

— I stayed up late — I replied

I wasn’t lying. Between movies, conversations, and hugs, time with Felix always flew by without me noticing. My phone vibrated on the table, and I looked at the screen.

Felix 💞:

I miss you :c

I smiled involuntarily and replied quickly

Me:

I’ve only been gone an hour

The conversation flowed naturally. Amélie was talking about an audition, and I was telling her about the art event and the ridiculous photo with Adam. Everything was going smoothly, but my phone vibrated again.

Felix 💞:

Where are you now?

I sent him a photo of the café while continuing my conversation, but a few minutes later it vibrated again.

Felix 💞:

With whom?

— Is everything okay? — Amélie asked when she noticed I was looking at my phone again

— Yes, it’s my boyfriend — I replied, almost amused — He cares about me... — I added, and she let out a soft laugh

— That’s nice, isn’t it? I rarely see a man who’s genuinely interested

— Yeah, I’m pretty lucky... — I murmured, a little embarrassed; having someone miss you in real time is kind of sweet

The phone vibrated several more times that afternoon, short messages, emojis, little questions; it didn’t bother me, it was just… there. When I got back to Felix and Rhea’s apartment, it was already getting dark. I opened the door, and the first thing I heard was Rhea’s voice from the living room.

— ____! — she appeared, peeking over the back of the sofa — I was thinking we should go out just the two of us sometime, or even now, a night walk, something spontaneous — she said enthusiastically

— I’d love to — I replied with a smile. Before I could put down my bag, Felix came out of the kitchen

— Are you back already? — He came over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. — I missed you.

— It was only a few hours.

— Many hours — he nodded as if it were a serious matter; Rhea rolled her eyes dramatically.

— I was suggesting we kidnap her for a while.

— Yeah, that’s what she told me — I played along with Rhea; Felix looked at me with a half-smile.

— Can you stay tonight?

— Tonight?

— Stay with me; I don’t want to share you today — he said it in a light, almost joking tone, but his hands were already on my waist. I thought about it for a second; Rhea raised an eyebrow.

— Well… I can steal her tomorrow — she said, shrugging. I looked at Felix.

— Did you really miss me that much?

— Very much so — he replied. Finally, I sighed.

— Fine, I’ll stay — Rhea feigned indignation.

— Betrayal…

— We’ll go out tomorrow — I promised. — I hope so.

The three of us ended up on the couch watching some random movie Rhea had picked out. I was in the middle, Felix to my right, Rhea to my left with Donatello on her lap. Halfway through the movie, as if it were no big deal, Felix picked up my phone from the table. He didn’t say a word. neither did I. He already knows my passwords; I gave them to him days ago without thinking too much about it. While someone was running in slow motion on the screen, he opened my calendar.

— You have ballet on Tuesday and Wednesday — he commented as if he were reading the weather

— Yeah

— And you’re calling your grandma on Friday

— I always call her on Fridays; they’re special. — I nodded without taking my eyes off the movie. He swiped a little further

— Oh, you’re going out with that French guy on Thursday… I didn’t remember that. — His tone was neutral, almost curious

— Yes, I replied. — We have the “Date” set up — I made air quotes with my fingers.

— What time?

— At eight.

— Where?

— A restaurant downtown; I think my dad picked it — there was a brief silence.

— Do you dress up for those kinds of things? Just curious — I turned my head slightly toward him

— It’s a fancy restaurant, so yes

— Oh — that was all; I turned my gaze back to the screen. The movie continued; Rhea made a sarcastic comment about the lead actor, and I laughed. I felt Felix’s hand on my knee, tracing soft, distracted circles — Do you like getting dressed up for those dinners? — he asked after a few seconds

— I like getting dressed up in general; I’m used to it

— I know — he said with a small smile, resting his chin on my shoulder while he kept looking at my planner as if it were a shared calendar

— We could do something on Friday — he added

— Sure — I finally closed my phone and set it on the table; everything returned to normal. The movie ended; Rhea complained about the happy ending; Donatello tried unsuccessfully to get off the couch; I stayed leaning against Felix, feeling his arm wrap around me with calm firmness

— Did you have fun today? — he asked me in a low voice

— Yes

— I’m glad — he rested his forehead against my temple for a second

There were no reproaches, no strange tone, just that constant feeling that he’s always attentive. As the night wore on and we got up to go to the bedroom, I thought the day had been simple and normal: Sunday, friends, movies. While I was getting changed for bed, I heard his voice from the bed.

— Let me know if anything changes for Thursday.

— I’ll let you know — I replied. I slipped under the sheets, and he wrapped his arms around me almost immediately.

— I like it when you’re here — he murmured. I smiled in the darkness.

— I'm here — and in that moment, I saw nothing else but that

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This has already gone wrong :) I need to get back to work; I fell asleep in my chair

Fun fact: I swear Liora isn’t that naive, but since she thinks Felix isn’t that kind of person, she believes everything he says 😭

Anyway, I hope to see you all crying soon. Don’t forget to hit the heart, comment, and follow me for more updates. Thank you so much for reading. See you on Sunday

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