#liner notes

The Premise

This fic started as a discussion with the lovely Pep ( @peppsta ) and Erin ( @smoothrockifound ), regarding how strange it probably was for Hangman to see Swerve be so affectionate with Will after. everything they did to each other. To give you an idea of the timeline:

March 3rd, 2024 - Revolution. Joe v. Swerve v. Hangman, in which Joe third wheels and retains, and Hangman attacks multiple referees, earning him a suspension.

April 21st, 2024 - Dynasty. Swerve wins the Men's World Championship.

June 30th, 2024 - Forbidden Door. Will loses the Men's World Title challenge and Swerve retains. Will breaks down crying in the ring, and Swerve cuddles him, comforts him, kisses his forehead and says he loves him. Also worth noting, Will previously stole the Men's World Title straight off of Swerve's shoulder to pose with it and was not killed for doing so.

July 3rd, 2024 - Hangman returns from suspension to join the Owen, and generally continues losing his shit over Swerve.

Over the next two months or so Hangman would continue to spiral, nearly throw Blood and Guts for his team in his obsession with Swerve, burn Swerve's childhood home down, and nearly kill him in the lights out steel cage match.

And Hangman had no qualms about hurting anyone else to get to Swerve, including Prince Nana. So it's easy to imagine Hangman sitting at home on suspension, obsessively watching Swerve's matches, seeing Swerve be affectionate with Will, and immediately registering him as a target.

So what if that was his plan? Or one of his plans, and something that just never came to fruition?

The Title

The title of this fic is a line from Paranoid by Leoniden. It only kinda fits the vibes, but it does somewhat parallel how Hangman is so convinced that Will is going to drop him as soon as he finds out. "Gimme a sign / Can't you see that I'm waiting? / Been waiting for months / Go on and break my heart, break my heart"

The Fic

This fic became known as "nightmare fic" whenever I'd talk about it, because ohhh boy do I put this man through some shit in these nightmares.

Hangman is on the hunt.

I love playing with names in wrestling fics. How does the POV character think of themselves, and others? Hangman is the POV character for this fic. In the nightmares he's the Hangman, the epitome of violence, of justice that won't be denied. As soon as he wakes up he's just Adam, having to deal with everything his subconscious has thrown at him.

He's storming through the hallways of an unfamiliar arena, slamming through yet another set of doors. A searing anger burns in his chest. The walls blur around him, identical doors and hallways melding together, but Hangman knows where he needs to be. Knows his target, his quarry, knows justice will be paid.

I tried to lean really heavily into hinting that this is a dream at the start for the reader, since Hangman doesn't know. When you're dreaming your brain just kinda fills in context only as far as it needs to. This arena is unfamiliar, all the sameness blurring together, because it's just some idea of an arena his brain cobbled together. Similarly, a few sentences later, a steel chair just kinda appears in Hangman's hands, and he doesn't question it at all.

"Wh— Adam?" Will stutters out, as if he has any fucking right to his name.

There is a bit of a juxtaposition in the nightmares. Nightmare!Hangman is firmly stuck in the mindset July-September 2024 timeframe, where Will didn't know him and he only knew Will as Swerve's friend. But Hangman is having these nightmares in the lead up to All In, where Will has become his friend, someone who would be calling him Adam.

[Will] clutches at the back of his neck and stares up at Hangman in bewilderment.

Inspired by Will clutching the back of his neck and staring up at Kyle in bewilderment after the betrayal and screwdriver to the back of the head!

Also regarding the juxtaposition, 2024 Hangman didn't know Will, but present!Hangman knows him very well and knows the weak point of his neck. So nightmare!Hangman has the familiarity that 2024!Hangman probably wouldn't, but has 2024!Hangman's viciousness when presented with a weakness.

Please not Will, why am I— "Why?" Will pleads, rolling back just enough to look up at him.

Hangman's subconscious horror cuts through his nightmares, but can never really take hold until the last one. It's always being interrupted. Sometimes by Hangman continuing with his attacks, sometimes by Will saying something. Often, what Will says will echo what Hangman's subconscious was trying to get across.

Hangman can't stand to feel that gaze a second longer, and breaks it by bashing Will's jaw with his boot.

A big theme in this fic is that Hangman can't meet Will's eyes for very long, either in the nightmares on in real life. We'll be coming back to this a lot.

"Why are you- what happened?" [Will] pleads in confusion, "Whatever it is, I can fix-"

Each of the nightmares has a different driving emotion for Will, each roughly corresponding to the stages of grief. This first one is denial. Will cannot comprehend that Hangman would be mad at him and is searching desperately for a reason. Did he do something? Did Moxley interfere somehow?

Will making excuses like this is an idea of Erin's from the conversation that spawned this fic. Quote, "Pleading with Hanger to give him a reason that would make this okay, or at least better." Genius as always.

Will reaches up weakly to try to shield his head, to bat Hangman away. A wave of anger surges through him, and he grabs a tight fistful of Will's curls, now soaked with red. He drags Will's face in close, smells the metallic tang of blood, sees the fear and pleading in his eyes— —no no no no no no please— —before slamming his head down to the floor. Tightens his grip and does it again, and again, watches the blood splatter, feels the skull crack, again, again, again—

Nightmare violence can be very overblown, and visceral, and this is no exception. I wanted to get very very nasty with it in those scenes.

Now Hangman wakes up.

His breath begins to slow as he remembers where he is, looks out at the generic hotel room, the half unpacked suitcase, the pearl snap shirt tossed haphazardly across the desk.

The pearl snap! Tiny hint at when we are, we're somewhere in the lead up to All In when he started wearing them again <3

Adam gets one moment of bleary-eyed confusion before his nightmare comes crashing back to him, alongside a question he's intimately familiar with: what the hell have I done?

This was one of the first lines I wrote, and one I'm very proud of. It's a question he knows very very well, after everything he's done.

Maybe he could use a fucking drink.

At this point in canon, the last time we'd seen Hangman take a drink was when Will mentioned Hangman retiring CD. I'd argue this nightmare is worse. I didn't decide whether he actually goes and gets a drink, but he sure as hell considers it.

"If you're sure," [Will] says, sounding skeptical. "If it's something else, whatever it is, I can help." An echo of similar words from his nightmare burrows through Adam's brain, and he shakes his head to clear them.

This is an echo of Will saying "Whatever it is, I can fix-" in the nightmare. It's haunting him even when he's awake!

He immediately drops his eyes back down to the floor, unable to withstand the sincerity in his gaze.

I won't pull up every moment of Hangman/Adam being unable to meet Will's eyes for long, but just note it's in both the nightmares and real life at this point. He doesn't have this problem with Hobbs later. It's just Will.

Hopefully a full night's rest will set him straight.

Yea sorry man. Nightmare 2! This was actually the last one I wrote, it gave me trouble for a long time.

Will is glaring back at him from the corner he's slumped in, teeth bared in a snarl. One arm hangs awkwardly from where it's handcuffed to a pipe.

Inspired by Swerve being handcuffed to the ring when the Bucks tried to thumbtack superkick him and hit Will instead! And we've moved on to the next stage of grief, anger.

He bends down to grab at Will's wrist, and Will spits in his face as soon as he's in range. "Fuck you," Will hisses. His eyes are cold and furious, a kind of rage Hangman has never seen out of him before.

Inspired by Will hissing and spitting at Kenny near the end of WK17, when it was all he had left.

Next person to show concern is Hobbs!

Hobbs seems content to go without conversation, but watches Adam like a hawk. After the second time Adam presses his cold can of coke to his forehead as a makeshift ice pack, Hobbs decides it's time for an intervention.

Hobbs!! He seemed the most likely person for Will to go to with his concern, and the person most likely to care about Hangman at this point. Hobbs was the one who helped Will carry Hangman to the back after the DRs choked him out. Also I just adore Hobbs.

Shout out to the time I spent staring at the heatmap of soda/coke/pop usage in the US before deciding that Aaron's Creek is far enough south in Virginia that Hangman would probably call any sweet carbonated beverage a can of coke.

Nightmare 3!

"No, no, please, leave me alone!—"

The emotion in this nightmare is bargaining! Will's fear and his pleading with Hangman to just let him go.

Will's plea is cut off as Hangman grabs the thick leather belt wrapped around his neck, pulling him harshly up to his knees. He starts down the entrance tunnel, dragging Will along the floor behind him, uncaring of the sounds of choking or the hands scrabbling at his grip on the belt.

Inspired by Drilla Maloney dragging Callum Newman down the ramp by a dog collar at the United Empire vs. War Dogs cage match, which was Will's last match in New Japan. If you never need inspiration for the kind of terrible things that can happen to Will, look no further than that match.

Last interstitial bit, Hangman is avoiding everyone this time.

Will had crashed straight through every angry wall Adam built and planted himself firmly in some bruised corner of his heart.

A line that I honestly just kinda threw in became half the comments' favorite, and has become my favorite as well. Will so quickly and easily became someone that Hangman adored, pushing past all of the anger and pain and loving him anyway. Hangman didn't stand a chance.

Last nightmare. This was actually the second nightmare I wrote, the smaller middle ones came later. This one's a doozy.

Hangman finds himself mid-match, or really near the end of one, judging by the crumpled heap of Will in the center of the ring.

The reader definitely knows these are nightmares at this point, but I still wanted the flavoring of Hangman "finding himself" in a situation and just rolling with it.

Will's panicked flailing is already weak to start, and dies out quickly as the chain cinches around his throat and cuts off his oxygen. There's no tap, but the referee must call the match as the bell rings distantly.

The emotion for this nightmare is depression/acceptance. Will has no fight left at this point, there's nothing more for him to do. At this point, he's already "dead".

Will's body falls and drags the loose chain down with him. He lands hard on the apron, and slowly tumbles sideways to the floor, no coordination left in his limbs to break his fall.

There's literally nothing left. He's gone, and nightmare!Hangman hasn't caught that yet.

His lifeless gaze bores directly into Hangman. The light behind them is entirely gone, replaced by a dark and icy blue that tears into him. This time, for the first time, he can't make himself look away.

This is the first time Hangman can't make himself look away from Will's gaze, and it's also the first time that nightmare!Hangman has any realization of what he's done. Even the refs don't break Will's line of sight, and Hangman is trapped there for the rest of the nightmare.

Hanger wakes up! And everything comes to a head.

His hand flails wildly across the nightstand as he scrambles for his phone. It's unlocked and open to his contacts before he's aware of it, only comprehending what he's doing when the outgoing call starts ringing and "Will Ospreay" lights up across the screen.

As with many of the best things in this fic, Hanger calling Will to reassure himself that he's okay was Erin's idea <3

"What d'you mean, you'll be fine, wh—,"

Seriously. Imagine you're Will for a moment. Your hot cowboy crush who has been steadily looking worse and withdrawing over the past few days calls you at like 3:30 in the morning, waking you up. He sounds absolutely terrible. Then goes nevermind I'll be fine goodnight!! No wonder Will rushes over.

He stumbles over to the chair in the corner and pulls on the crappy shirt he left there the previous night, knowing this might happen again. He picks up his book and is halfway seated when he's stopped by a rapid knocking on the door.

He's just resigned to it by now. Planning for it, even. He's got his shirt, got his book.

"I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me." He sneaks a glance upward and Will's eyebrows are raised in disbelief. Under that skepticism, he looks… upset. Pained, maybe? Adam's gaze skitters back to the floor, and he tries to put more strength into his voice.

Hangman still can't meet the real Will's eyes! And he can't fathom Will being this concerned for him.

"I'm fine," Adam takes a deep breath, steadies himself, "I'm sorry for waking you, I just needed to hear—" Adam freezes, throat closing around the end of the sentence, thoughts stuttered to a halt.

He just needed to hear Will's voice, just needed to know he was okay. This small slip is enough for Will to fill in the rest of the sentence and realize that whatever's making Adam upset is about him, could have been solved just by hearing Will. And was upsetting enough that he was crying. Of course Will has to hug him.

Fuck, even if he doesn't deserve this, or it all goes away after he explains, let him be selfish for one moment.

Now I didn't have the (absolutely fucking fantastic) GrimmWork / @old-no7 ostrickpage fic Fibonacci Sequence in my life yet at the time of writing my fic, but their characterization of Hangman as a bottomless pit who will take everything he's given until it's no longer his haunts me. It's so accurate. He's doing it here too, he'll take this last moment of kindness from Will, and every last little thing he can until it's taken away (which it will be. obviously).

"I'm here, I'm okay," [Will] murmurs, and of course this is when Will develops the ability to figure out what Adam's thinking, to some degree.

Will has said himself that he doesn't know and can't comprehend how anyone else thinks! And Hangman is probably used to that by now after a month or so of being friends.

"So it's last June, right, and I'm not in the best place," Adam lets out a nervous laugh at the understatement.

Buddy. At least you realize it's an understatement.

"So they fight, and Ospreay loses, and for some reason Swerve gets down and talks to him after, and holds him, and says he loves him? Now, that confused the hell out of me. I'd seen a lot of things out of Swerve Strickland up to that point, but never had I thought he'd do anything like that. Didn't think he'd be capable." Adam knows better now. With hindsight, it's maybe the least surprising thing about Swerve. Everyone loves Will. He has a way of making you care about him, earning your trust.

Big chunk of text. But everyone loves Will. It's so easy to love Will! This is only partially Hanger's definitely-in-love-and-hasn't-clocked-it brain, because really everyone does love him.

"And the only reason I didn't, the only reason, wasn't mercy on my part, or a change of heart for the better, it was that I finally found his fucking house. I didn't end your career, only because I found something worse to do to him."

Really, if Hangman had planned all of this, he was making all of those bad choices on purpose at that point. He had no fucks to give for morals or mercy. The only thing that would've stopped him was a better opportunity. Which makes all of it worse for him in hindsight.

A flurry of motion interrupts him this time. Warm hands grip the sides of his face and tilt his head up, forcing him to look into Will's eyes.

This is the first time he can look real life Will in the eyes, because Will is making him. Will is forcefully inserting himself in the spiral and stopping it.

"I walked into this knowing exactly what you did to Swerve, and Christopher Daniels, and everybody else backstage. I knew I was putting myself in danger, I'm not surprised that I could have been in the crossfire before!" Will's voice has risen, gaining the same passion it had when they faced off before Double or Nothing, when Adam realized just how much Will could see him. "And I still did it, because I believed in you." Will's grip on his face tightens, and he steps even closer. "Not just as the guy who could fight Mox and win, but as a good guy who could find himself again. I knew exactly who you were when I swore I would have your back." Adam's breath shudders. He feels about one second away from shattering completely in the face of Will's devotion. It overwhelms him even more than those face to face moments in the ring, strengthened by the fact that there's no audience to perform for this time. It's just Will, brushing his thumb across Adam's cheek as he speaks. "I see you, okay?" Will says with the utmost conviction, "And I'm not leaving."

Long chunk of text but THIS!!!! So many feelings about this. This segment felt like Will Ospreay possessed me and wrote a promo. The thing that gets me about Will and Hangman's two promos before Double or Nothing is how much Will sees Hangman, everything good he was and everything he's fallen into. How Will characterizes it as choices that a person has made, rather than the actions of some feral animal. The way Will still believes in him despite it, and vows to have his back.

If you watch closely when Will tells Hangman that "I have got you!", you can see Hangman's lip quiver. He is wholly unprepared to be the recipient of Will's pure unfiltered devotion. Will doesn't know him really, but he's seen everything he's done lately, and is still so kind to him. Hangman I get you I would have fallen in love too.

The wave of sheer relief Adam feels is enough to make his knees buckle. He was so sure that this would be it, the end of the first new friendship, the first good thing he'd had in years. There was no way Will would be able to see past this, but he needed to know. He shouldn't be risking himself for a liar, or a coward. Even if it meant he would leave.

Will really was the first good thing Hangman had in years. Or at least the first one he hadn't fucked up yet somehow.

Slightly inspired by Hangman telling Swerve that if he didn't say things to him now, he might not get the chance to. He needed Will to know.

Adam can feel himself slowly melting in safety and contentment. He leans more of his weight into Will, too exhausted physically and emotionally to hold himself up. There's no complaint from Will, just the soft shuffling of feet against carpet to better stabilize them.

Poor guy hasn't gotten good sleep in 4 nights now, no wonder he's at his limit.

Adam can only stare in bafflement as Will steps away, kicks off his shoes, and starts climbing into bed. There's no point of reference that can explain why Will is lying down on his back, wiggling under the covers to get comfortable, in Adam's hotel bed. [...] A proud grin splits his face when he looks back up, eyes sparkling, the expression of someone who's had a brilliant idea.

Will has seen a problem and decided on a solution!! He will fix!!! Adam is so fucking confused.

He's awash in contentment, and absolutely exhausted, which is why it takes a minute to realize that Will maneuvered them into this position on purpose. A slow, steady heartbeat thumps under his ear, and his head rises and falls in time with slow breaths, both constant reminders that Will is alive and safe.

This idea killed me when I first thought of it. Will pulling Hangman in for cuddles, and specifically arranging it so he can fall asleep listening to his heartbeat and knowing he's safe???? aughhh

He's awake just long enough to feel lips gently press against his forehead[...]

I didn't want to define their relationship in this one. Anything I added would've felt shoehorned in, imo. They're probably somewhere more than friends, but hey maybe you're cuddling the homies goodnight after they have nightmares about killing you. Good for you, if so.

In my head, they're probably both in love and haven't actually addressed it yet. Again, Hangman will take what he can get until he doesn't have it anymore.

Sooooooooooooooo yea!! This fic!! It ate me for a couple weeks and is without a doubt my favorite thing I've written so far. The descriptions of violence, the tender care at the end, hough.

My favorite fics to write are ones that give me an insight into the characters and relationships as I write them. Realizing that Will isn't stupid, he walked into this eyes wide open, knowing everything that Hangman did and still chose him... and how much it would have floored Hangman to realize that as well. Ospage was my first love in AEW and will always be my baby. Especially since *checks the numbers* 1/3 of the fics in their ao3 tag at time of writing have my name on them either bc they're mine or were gifted to me. And that number will increase!! Mark my words!!!!!