#lilithzenik

The rhythmic clatter of his cane echoed on the roof tiles, a rhythm now known, familiar, "I have a job for you." Exclaimed the boy's impassive, hoarse voice, "What business?" "A banquet will be held for the Council Members, you will infiltrate with the actors of the Komedie Brute along with Specht." "Who is the target?" "Jellen Radmakker."

The second floor of the Geldrennen Hotel had been reserved by the Council Members, five of the richest men in Ketterdam, interested only in their image, their place in the city's food chain, protected by more guards than anyone could count, accustomed to wealth, luxury, security, indifferent to the city's needs, concerned only with dressing well, with showing the rest of the city how rich they were, oblivious to how many teenagers and children had lost their innocence by becoming criminals because of them, because none of them deigned to help the citizens, too worried about losing their investment in Jurda's production.

The girl pulled her veil over her face, the costume of the Lost Bride allowed her to hide, to camouflage herself among the actors, no one seemed to notice the few extra actors, but that was her speciality, hiding in the shadows even when the shadows were not there. Lilith noticed Specht's gaze on her, although older than her she knew he had to answer to the girl's orders, all the members of the Crows knew they had to answer to her orders; her reputation, her name, her history, the legends about her past and her family made her more dangerous and important than anyone thought.

The girl's brown eyes studied the room, Jellen Radmakker was sitting at the table, two armed men were staring at him ready to defend him; to his right was Nathan Boreg dressed in grey, his gaze passed from his colleagues to the guards to the actors, the man's breathing was quickened, although he tried to hide it you could see the drops of sweat forming on his forehead; Karl Dryden sat opposite Radmakker, his gaze fixed on the roast quail on the table in front of him, his mouth open, waiting to dig into the dish; to his left Jan Van Eck resided with a look of superiority and disgust towards the rest of the diners, his purple velvet suit fell perfectly over his body, his gold ring shone on his left ring finger under the dim light of the candles, four guards behind him scanned the room for threats; at the head of the table the figure of Hoede resided boredly waiting for entertainment and wine. "I have had news of the arrival of a more than prosperous merchant cargo." Broke the silence Radmakker, "A durast, a healer, a squaller and three other unspecified Grisha." "When will they arrive?" "By the end of the month. I understand they will be sold on the third port when they arrive. No one has been informed of their arrival yet so we will have exclusive rights to them." "I want the names and any information you have on them by tomorrow night." The three merchants exchanged information for the duration of the dinner, information they were not supposed to exchange in public. Their plans were unknown to the girl but the mere knowledge that other kids would be sold to the highest bidder made her blood boil, she adjusted the gloves on her hands, the veil on her face and the wreath on her forehead before shifting her gaze from the merchants' table to Specht, the man was listening to the conversations of the guards, focus on finding something to tell his boss.

The streets of Ketterdam were illuminated by oil lamps and animated by tourists and locals, the Pleasure District, known as the Barrel, was floodlit despite the fact that the sun had been down for several hours, the men and women working in the various bars attracted customers with false claims, false promises, false truths necessary to survive in this place; the tourists looked around, too focused on the bars, the scenes and promises of an unforgettable time to notice the disappearance of watches, wallets, valuables and other items; blonde hair blocked Lilith's view, the voices around the girl seemed to suddenly disappear the moment she felt the pressure of a hand approaching her side, her left hand clasped on the blonde's wrist, the dagger clutched in her right hand stopped at the thief's side, two pitch black eyes locked into Lilith's brown ones, her blonde eyebrows furrowed in shame and disappointment, a half smile formed on Lilith's face before the girl released her grip on the blonde, "You need to relax your breath and your arm, the pressure of the hand near the pocket would have brought you a lot of trouble." Explained Lilith to the blonde, "Check the other dagger." Said the thief with a proud grin, Lilith's hand moved to the dagger hidden in her boot, pulling it out before releasing her grip on the accomplice's wrist, "You must conceal your footsteps, though the noise in these streets is impossible to muffle, your footsteps echo like a pin on marble." The two kids nodded at the brunette before turning on their heels, "Shouldn't you be checking the tables at the Club?" shouted Lilith before turning the corner towards the Slat.

It happened before she could even notice, two men grabbed her arms while a third stopped in front of her, the man's face inches from hers, the smell of alcohol and smoke invaded her nostrils, the three drunk and out of it men stared at her with hungry stares, a look she knew all too well, a look she had seen all too many times at Emerald Palace, the dagger slipped from her sleeve into her hand before making contact with the arm of one of the three men, the man's blood stained the girl's glove, the wreath slipped from her forehead, breaking on impact with the cubblestone beneath her, the dagger in her left hand ready to be used on the second man, eyes fixed on the enemy, her right hand ready to move if necessary but before she could do anything else the smell of gunpowder invaded her nostrils, the man in front of her groaned before falling to the ground in pain, a pool of blood began to spread beneath his body; before the girl could recognise the shooter she felt a burning sensation between her ribs, her hand clutched her side, crimson red began to cover her hand, she managed to pull the dagger from her boot in time to find a new home in the man's sternum before everything went black.

The line of tourists waiting to enter the Club stretched for a little over a block, it was no surprise the increase in customers during the autumn months, yet Jesper kept wondering how people like that, with enough money to cross the Fold or afford the best rooms in the best hotels of Ketterdam, could walk so calmly through the streets, not noticing the children and teens stealing their watches, wallets, jewellery, tie clips or whatever item could help them survive for at least another day.

It must be nice to have the security of eating and sleeping in a warm place.

The boy thought to himself, remembering the first months he had spent on the streets of the Barrel after dropping out of university, his father would not have been proud of him for being a gambler, whose only goal is to win enough to repay his debts. Debts his father was never supposed to know about.

The autumn night was humid and way too hot, the torpid air of the Barrel was now the only air Jesper could breathe, vaguely remembering the fresh air of his father's farm in Novyi Zem, a farm, a country, a life he had decided to abandon and forget, he had decided to start a new life at Ketterdam University, but that too, like everything Jesper started, had lasted little more than a few months. "When can we get in? We have been waiting since before the sun went down." Said the irritated voice of one of the tourists. "When you can come in I will let you in." Jesper replied as he went back to staring at the children running among the tourists, his hands steady on the handles of the guns, ready if needed, busy playing with them in such a way as to prevent accidents, his gaze shifted from the children to the tourists to the rooftops, he knew Lilith and Specht were busy with a job for Kaz and he knew they would have to return shortly.

Jesper knew that he would never have to contradict Kaz if he wanted to stay at the Slat, he knew Lilith was able to protect herself if needed, he knew she was probably one of the most dangerous and notorious people in the city, and maybe that was why part of him was agitated, although Lilith had never needed help part of him felt that she too had limits, that she too would need help sooner or later. The lights of the streetlamps flickered in the warm wind of the night, the voices of the Club's customers combined with the screams of the workers in the Pleasure District attracting new customers were now a constant in the boy's life, no matter what time it was Ketterdam was always alive, always awake, always brightly lit. "Oi Jesper, how is it today?  How are the cards?" Specht asked him throwing his hat and mask into the room next to the door, "Same as always, lucky if you're rich." the Zemeni man replied shifting his gaze to his colleague, "In the next life I'll born grisha, those are the ones who enjoy life." said Specht laughing at Jesper before walking through the door, "Where's Lilith?" shouted Jesper to his colleague before he disappeared, "I think she's at Kaz's, she had to explain some things to him, she left me before dinner was over." replied Specht before disappearing into the crowd of the Club.

Something in Jesper's stomach twisted, he knew she wouldn't be coming through the front door, in his four years at Slat with her he had never seen her use the doors except to kick cheaters out or during guard shifts, which he had noticed were far inferior compared to the rest of the Crows, yet part of him felt that something was wrong, that something was going to happen.

He noticed her before she could even notice him, her blonde hair stood out among the dark colours of the clothes and the streets, the thirteen year old girl was making her way through the bodies of tourists lined up to enter. "Branwen." Jesper shouted at the blonde, her pitch black eyes met Jesper's, a worried and frightened expression on the little girl's face, "What happened?" the Zemeni asked as he knelt in front of her and squeezed her shoulder, "It's Lilith. We were talking and when I left I noticed three men approaching her." "Where?" she asked trying to keep her composure, "Around the corner two blocks from here." replied Branwen, "Okay, can you tell Big Bolliger if he can cover me while I go see what's going on with Lilith?" Jesper ran towards the alley before the blonde could answer.

It wasn't the worst thing he had ever seen or the worst situation Lilith had been in and yet Jesper froze for a second at the scene in front of him, three men were pinning the girl down, their hands were trying to travel over her body, the veil of the costume was on the ground, broken, a symbol of innocence lost. Jesper pulled the trigger without noticing the action he had just performed, one of the three men fell to the ground groaning, the boy's gaze stopped on Lilith, but her eyes travelled from his hand to the man in front of him, the second man fell groaning, her hands were trying to stop the loss of blood, but the wound left by the girl's dagger would not heal. Jesper sprinted towards Lilith, catching her in time to prevent her from falling. Her body laid motionless in Jesper's arms, blood oozed from her side, the cut on her right forearm had reopened during the fight, her closed eyes and almost non-existent breathing forced Jesper to run through the streets, making space for himself by shouting and pushing tourists and workers, Big Bolliger noticed Lilith unconscious in his arms before he even noticed Jesper shouting and trying to get into the Crows Club, the line of people waiting to enter protested at the sight of the scene, "I've been here for three hours." "I've been waiting my turn since before the sun went down," were some of the comments Jesper could hear before turning towards the pigeons, "And she’s dying. If you want I'll shoot you too so you can come in," the boy replied before entering the club.

Inej was the first to notice Jesper, she stood beside him studying the girl's wounds, her gaze and expression impassive, by now used to such scenes, "Take her to her room, I'll go get Kaz." "No.... Don’t… Call him..." said Lilith between sighs, before losing consciousness again. Jesper and Inej knew not to go against the girl's wishes, but they needed Kaz to heal her, he was the only one who could find a healer and hire him before the worst happened, "Lil, we have to, he's the only one who can help you." Jesper's voice was gentle and concerned, "Milana... Work... At the Orchid..." Lilith's laboured breathing grew quicker and more erratic as Jesper propped her up on the mattress. "Specht send someone for Milana, Rotty get me some bandages or something to stop the bleeding, Anika go back to the counter and don't say anything." Ordered Inej to the rest of the Dregs around her, Jesper was kneeling beside the brunette, one hand clasped in his while with the other he stroked her hair, something that would have ensured his death at any other time, "Don't try to abandon me. We need to call Kaz, you need help," he told Inej, "No....I don't.... Need.... Of anyone..." said Lilith breathing heavily, "We all need someone." retorted Jesper with a half smile, Lilith tried to return it before losing consciousness again.

The Zemeni walked the streets of Ketterdam insulting himself for having, once again, lost what little savings he had left, the night was giving way to the warm spring sun, his chocolate-coloured face glistened from sweat under the dim light of the street lamps and the spring sun, his hands rested on the handles of his pistols, his gaze studied the pleasure district around him, his brain finally making up its mind to accept yet another night spent on the streets. "I can help you." The sudden voice startled him, he turned in search of the owner of the voice, but found himself alone in the alley, "I can help your father." the voice added, but still no one else besides him could be seen, leaving him to wonder if he was, in fact, imagining. Why would anyone help me? How could anyone know about my father? I don't need anyone. He thought as he continued walking in the shadows of the alley.

The late autumn sun woke her as it filtered through the window above her, the enforced rest and sedentary work that had filled the last few weeks had allowed the girl's wound to heal leaving only a white scar.

Lilith looked at herself in the mirror, her body like a map, a pale canvas covered in even paler lines, the scar that cut across her lips was white in contrast to the red of her lipstick, the numerous scars on her arms that cut across the two tattoos reminded her of some of the worst moments of her life, the scar on her side was just an addition to her story, something to be proud of, something to remind her of how strong she was and how many nightmares she had woken up from stronger than before.

She wore a black sweatshirt covering her story; sure she was proud of every single scar she had on her body, but she wouldn't show them to anyone, they were her past, her story, her life, her memories and no one else's, she didn't demand anyone's pity and she knew it would come if she showed them.

She covered her right hand with the leather glove, secured the knives in their sheaths, feeling the heat in the handles before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

The corridors were silent, her colleagues' rooms were closed, occupied by Dregs either fast asleep or busy enjoying their morning off; she descended the last few steps, the room in front of her, usually full and noisy was empty and quiet, the only people in the room were the younger Dregs who did not yet have the privilege of Sunday off.

"Dirix remember to clean under the table in the council room." Said Lilith looking at the younger one from the stairs, "I don't envy you Dir, at least you didn't witness the scene though." yelled Brawen from behind the counter, "Brawen the toilets on the first floor need to be cleaned." said Lilith to her with a half smile, "But I cleaned them last week, today was supposed to be Pim's turn." complained the blonde walking towards the storage room, "Pim is running errands for Specht." explained Lilith simply before walking out the door leaving the room behind.

The salty air filled her nostrils as Lilith sat on the dock of the seventh harbour, the only abandoned harbour, she fixed her gaze on the sea ahead, the blurry shadow of Hellgate in the distance ready to remind her where she would be sent if they found out who she was, what she had done to survive and how she had come to Ketterdam.

Somewhere across the expanse of water her family was looking for her, she could feel it, she knew they would never stop looking for her, but she knew she could not return to them.

"We will see each other again soon." A man's voice rang like an echo in the girl's mind, she could not remember his face, every detail of the man had disappeared from her memory, every detail except the last sentence addressed to her. It was a promise, he had promised her that they would see each other again, that they would be together again, but years had passed and that promise had been broken.

She could feel his hand gently caressing her cheek, a pure cheek, porcelain white skin marred only by tiny mahogany flecks, tears had overcome the child's resistance and fell freely onto her white cheeks, the man's thumb wiped them away as a father wipes away a daughter's.

The man's calloused but gentle hand brought her back to that day, she had left everything behind, forgetting who she was, hiding who she had been, becoming yet another soul lost to the corruption of society and the violence of the world she lived in. Everything she had had during her childhood, everything she had studied, everything she had been taught was now something Lilith would never want to talk about, she had discovered the truth too late to continue living the way she had grown up, too soon to be able to change her future and that of others.

"We will see each other again soon." Whispered Lilith to the sea, the promise echoed on the waves of the sea before disappearing into the horizon.

Her footsteps echoed before her feet touched the dock, the girl's gaze was fixed on the blue expanse before her, in the distance a few ships could be seen, she could not see who was working on them but part of her knew that one of those ships was the one that had brought her to that city, that had brought Inej, Brawen, Pim and hundreds of other kids to that city forgotten by the Saints.

"Will you feed my crows?" Inej asked as she sat down next to Lilith, her legs crossed in front of her, the handles of the daggers glistened in the afternoon sun, Lilith's gaze shifted from the sea to the Suli beside her, the brunette knew she was beautiful, that she had all the qualities a boy could ever want in a mate, but not only did she not care about boys, sure she had had her experiences but she would never want to feel trapped in someone else's shadow, she had decided to be free, to choose herself, her heart had no place for another person, but all the confidence she had disappeared the moment Inej entered the room, her optimism, her determination, her faith, everything about the girl made Lilith wonder if she was enough.

The sun shone on the Suli's caramel skin, her black hair was perfectly arranged in a ponytail, even with the wind blowing in from the sea it didn't move, her brown eyes shimmered reflecting the sea water below, her lips slightly open to inhale the salty air were soft, a brilliant colour without the need for chemical or grisha aids.

"Can I count on you?" The Suli asked again, shifting her gaze to the younger one, "Why can't you?" the brunette asked, "Because I don't know when I'll be back." "You'll come back from where?" "Kaz finished paying Tante Helleen..." "You're free..." "And he found a boat, not as big as those, but big enough to let me set sail with a small crew." "When do you leave?" "Tonight, after the eleventh bell." "How long have you known?" "A few weeks, just long enough to find the boat and crew, I wanted to tell you but with everything that's happened I didn't want to make you feel worse." Lilith smiled at the Suli, she knew this moment would come from the moment she had met her, it shouldn't have been a surprise and yet the brunette was at a loss for words, Inej had been the first girl she had met in Ketterdam, since the first time they met she had been the person Lilith had shared the most with and she knew she would miss her.

"I will feed them, don't worry. Promise me one thing, kill the bastards who brought us here for me." "I will make them pay." Inej said, smiling before hugging Lilith.

They both knew Inej would leave without saying goodbye to anyone and Lilith would be too busy with the Crow Club to greet her as she would have liked, but sitting there, legs dangling, hands intertwined, eyes fixed on the horizon and daggers at the ready was what they needed, something familiar and habitual before the change Inej's departure would bring.

"Inej." Lilith broke the silence by moving her hand from her friend's and bringing it towards the sheath attached to her thigh, pulling out a knife and handing it to the Suli, "I want you to have it, a reminder that you will always have someone to return to here." Inej studied the dagger, the black handle had red inserts extending to the blade, a design unknown to Inej covered part of the blade, "Lils..." "Please remember me when you use it." "I will.” The older girl brought the dagger towards her belt drawing one of her own before securing it in it, "Sankta Lizabeta, I know you do not follow faith but we know we both could use their help and blessing.” The dagger was light in Lilith's hands, lighter than her own, she knew why and she knew that the one she had given to Inej had been forged from the same metal, while the others had been forged especially for her, the handle was white, contrasting with the black blade.

The two girls remained on the dock until the sun went down, in silence, each lost in their own minds, until the eighth bell rang, their steps were silent, their movements almost imperceptible, "Don't die." Said Lilith to Suli hugging her, "Don’t perish." replied Inej breaking the embrace and walking towards the harbour.

Towards her boat.

Towards her future.

"What’s the name?" Kaz asked as he looked up at the mirror in front of him, Inej's reflection staring back at him, studying him for clues as to what he was thinking, details she would forget once she left. "Dreesen, a rich merchant." She replied, crossing her gaze with the boss’ in the reflection before them, "Dreesen. I know who he is. He can afford it. But what's a million Kruge worth to him?" he asked, covering his hands with his leather gloves. "He's looking for a team to cross the Fold to Ravka East and bring him something back." Crossing the Fold, Kaz knew what that meant, he knew what happened there, he knew it was not possible to cross it without the proper means, without the permits and documents, but greed was the only thing Kaz Brekker believed in, the only thing that would always move his choices.

"The Fold? Then you take the million to your grave. Didn't he say what he wants?" "No, but he's holding meetings tonight at midnight." "Tell me you followed him." It was a pointless question, he knew the Suli had followed him, that she didn't need him to tell her how to do her job, but he needed confirmation, he knew Inej wouldn't be there and he needed all the information he could find. "He brought someone from his ship. He cut through from the Garden District to keep out of sight, I would have followed him inside but Dreesen hired private guards." The girl's voice broke imperceptibly, "I should have used knives to get close." Kaz knew Inej only had one rule, only one request not to kill, Inej would never kill, not for a job, not for revenge, she would only do it to save her family. "Private guards? Do we know them?" Kaz asked, "A Zemeni man, I think his name is Tendo. Do you know him?" Kaz Brekker knew everyone in the Barrel, anyone who gambled in the clubs of the Pleasure District, anyone who was in debt, had stolen secrets, debts, alliances, Kaz Brekker knew everything about the citizens of Ketterdam. "Yes, he gambles at one of Pekka's clubs, so I have no influence over him. But Pekka has." The guy's feet moved autonomously, his gaze fixed on the documents scattered on the desk, intent on studying new contracts, new secrets, anything that could help him figure out how to get the exclusive on the job.

Ine’s gaze followed the boss, remaining silent for a few seconds before asking, "So? What’s the next move?" Kaz's gaze lifted from the papers, stopping on the Suli in front of him before moving to the oil painting hanging on the wall, a representation of the Fold. "You're the one who believes in a higher power." Said the boy arranging the papers, "Kaz you don't have to take the job." Inej's voice was faint, she knew he wouldn't change his mind, she knew there would be no reason for Kaz to pass up an opportunity like this. "You must go, your crew is waiting for you." He said to the girl before opening the door and walking out of his office.

The place was full, drunken tourists occupied the tables, his Dregs checked the hands played, the money bet, the cards left on the tables. A gunshot silenced the club, Big Bolliger and Specht forcibly lifted one of the patrons before kicking him out of the club. "Gotcha." Jesper's voice was cheerful, satisfied as the Zemeni put the gun back in its scabbard before throwing himself on the money on the table. "No loud noises at the table, Jesper. They scare off the pigeons." Jesper nodded, "Wouldn’t want that boss." "Shouldn’t you be at the door?" "Yup, right away boss." The moment Jesper rose from the table Kaz's gaze fell on Lilith, the scars on her face shone in contrast to the red of her lips, the girl's amber eyes fixed in his, with an imperceptible nod he told her to follow him.

"How long ago had you decided this?" Lilith's impassive voice echoed in the office as she closed the door behind her. "Almost two months." Kaz replied simply as he sat down at his desk and removed his gloves, "And it didn't occur to you to tell me?" "It didn't concern you." "It didn't concern me, so I had no right to know that the only person who really understood me would sail the Saints only know where!" The boss did not answer, his gaze fixed on the painting to his left, his hands intent on caressing the raven on his staff, the scarred girl sat on the brown satin ottoman under the window.

The moon's rays shone on the girl's ceramic skin, the scars on her arms seemed to glow in contrast to the two tattoos, black veins seemed to come out of her gloves, eyelashes kissed her cheeks as her jaw clenched tighter and tighter; Kaz was used to seeing her like this, he knew her by now, he should have been used to it, yet part of him couldn't help but be surprised every time the scars on her body appeared in his field of vision.

"Does Jesper know?" Lilith asked, breaking the silence, "Yes." "Why did you make me come here?" "I have a job." "Do you want me to order your books in chronological order? Or maybe in chromatic order?" Sarcasm came out like venom from her lips, they both knew she was the only one who could talk to him like that, that she was the only one who could turn down jobs and challenge him. "Dreesen is looking for a team willing to cross the Fold, for a million Kruge." The girl snapped to her feet, finding herself in front of the boss's desk before he could notice, "And you want me to cross the Fold? For a million Kruge?" an emotionless laugh escaped the brunette's lips, "That's enough to change your life," the boss explained, "No, don't try to sell me that freedom crap. We both know no amount of money could ever make us free, we both know we'll be dead in the harbour before we can repay our debts." said Lilith getting up and slamming the door behind her, leaving Kaz speechless.