#lifebro

Changes are inevitable, I suppose. It's part of life. You have the option to either refuse change, go with the flow or make it happen. 

I chose change. In fact, I made it happen. I quit my job, I left the country. I was desperate for something to happen because while everybody else were out making something out of themselves, I felt like I was stuck in a job that I loved but sucked the life out of me and my biggest fear was that I would be a 23 year old burn out. From what I heard from my ex colleagues that there's more work and they're exhausted but some how having fun (which makes me kinda jealous but whatever, no looking back now). 

So here I am in California, literally half way across the world, no job prospects, no friends and no idea where my life is headed. 

I did try to get a job, but I underestimated the USA visa regulations and the LA market. For one, I'm on tourist visa and I don't think that will let me get a job here unless I get a work visa processed which will take months and I'll probably get rejected. Goddamn USA, you think you're the shit huh? 

So that prospect is now out of the question, what am I supposed to do? 

For one thing, I'm catching up on sleep. I'm catching up on movies. I'm catching up on doing things that I've never done before like not feel bad for staying up till 4am doing nothing and sleeping in the whole day. 

This also gave me the time to contemplate about everything: my life,  my goals, my dreams and every other little mental issue that I've ignored. In other words, I'm alone with no one but my thoughts to keep me company. 

I can however shorten my trip and go back to Dubai by next month if I want, but honestly though, I'd rather stay here and do some more contemplating and thinking, with the hopes that something one day will inspire me enough to get off my ass to work on it. 

Being here put a lot of things in perspective for me and I've learnt about myself more than anything, I finally have a goal that I've wanted to work towards and I really quite like it too, not that 'be happy' which is pretty vague and technically, a state of mind. 

Lately I’ve realised the impermanence of relationships, that people change and despite the sworn promises of eternity, everything is ridiculously temporary. Family is honestly the most constant aspect of life, the only human beings who will always include me in the equation, where I am never the lowest common denominator. People will make choices for themselves, by themselves and it’ll have nothing to do with you. Hell, why should it?