#life-lesson

Read Articles on Passive income, freelancing, business, jobs Photo by Asad Photo Maldives: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-holding-hands-walking-on-seashore-during-sunrise-1024960/ The nature of love is rooted within such a universal and profound experience in human life. Love crosses barriers of cultures, geography, as well as time; it molds our relationships and heavily touches our…

There are wounds in this life that hurt, that hurt immensely, that can be eventually overcome. But this isn’t one of the times, this isn’t like a long day at work. This isn’t like losing something beautiful just for better things to come along. “Transformation” doesn’t apply in this case.

We all go through loses in our life, but some loss, rearrange your world, which makes you see everything differently, comes with it is the kind of pain that takes you to a different universe.

No matter how well intent these words of comfort are, they don’t bring comfort to me, these are my top 3 lines that impacted me quite a-bit, and not in a good way.

1. Everything happen for a reason,

2. At least you got that time for as long as you did.

3.You will find somebody new.

Platitude and cheerleading does nothing. I wished people would realised that this isn’t a paper cut, or a crisis of confidence. I don’t need this thing to happen in order for me to realise what’s important. Or to understand the fact that I’m deeply love by another human. Finding someone new? How is it acceptable to diminish what I am feeling now, with the imaginary expectation of something that don’t exist yet?

Going from one life to the next

There is an interesting process one goes through when implementing a major decision in their life. Above, I characterized it as going from one life to another, which is applicable, but not all seismic changes one goes through are this severing. If the change involves a transition from one domicile to another, there is an inevitable accounting of the objects we amass. I went through this process…

There is no such thing as being black and white in life. But our brains unconsciously work in the black and white fashion to avoid confusion. So it's easier for our minds to keep everything separate with an arbitrary cutoff to make everything more straightforward. But this way of thinking is superficial and prevents us from deeply understanding the root cause of a problem, thus preventing us from growth.

Disagreement is often associated with proving which side has the correct argument and confronts people's beliefs on what consider as the norm. Moreover, most people don't want to show any flaws, especially in the workplace. Therefore, people tend to avoid confrontation to keep a conducive work environment and preserve the good relationship among workmates. But avoiding disagreement could lead to a counter-productive outcome like ineffective problem-solving.

The book 'Principles' by Ray Dalio suggests we can be open-minded and assertive simultaneously. It's not black and white. The art lies in my ability to understand the art-of-thoughtful disagreement. There are some principles explained in that book to have a thoughtful disagreement.

First, we need to implement "a 2-minutes rule" when we listen to other people's perspectives intently without interruption for 2 minutes. We then need to ask ourselves questions and assess our position in that specific situation. Lastly, we can ask genuine questions with high humility to anticipate that our view/opinion/belief may not be the right one. This way, we can have a fluid conversation to solve our problem.

However, we also need to keep in mind that being open-minded doesn't simply mean that you can accept that you can be wrong. We should also understand that people can agree to disagree objectively at a particular condition, and that's okay. Moreover, instead of proofing that someone has the correct opinion, a thoughtful disagreement would help us see the problem objectively and find the appropriate solution.

“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.”