#life rant

A little bit of ersatz fan art for people to enjoy. Legit, the pilot is sooooooo fkn goood!

And it actually made me angry, because I paid a lot for a meal seemingly thrown together by a thirdgrader.

For every article that goes "Why is English cuisine considered bad? Let me tell you why it's actually not..." I have to say no, it is. It's bad. It's baaaad. If you've ever had a chance to try anything else, you won't have any questions left.

And for all the cultural and social, and historical reasons these articles serve as excuses/reasons for the "perceived" badness - there is only one reason. In these modern times when one doesn't have to add chalk to milk for longevity or depend on other cost-saving measures, in the time when access to ingredients and ideas for all budgets is available at a touch of a hand...

The reason is that the British are the most incurious people I've met in my life, when it comes to food. If their mom didn't feed them something during their formative years, they won't try it out of their own free will. If Nigella or Jimmy didn't show them something "exotic" is actually good, you can get blue in the face praising it but they won't try. Living in a pretty multicultural and mixed part of England, it took me five years to train my English coworkers enough so that they'll eat a candy in a wrapper with foreign writing on it and give it a shot. And I mean it, years of conscious training by yours truly.

Sorrounded by all the amazing food options and culinary treasures from all over the world, the English will stick to their sad excuse of patisserie - once you try the sad reality of the dry sugar feel of Victoria Sponge, you'll yearn for a simple Polish cheesecake. They'll stick to their limited options of meats - the same English sausage in fifty slightly differing mixes of the same 2 spices and 3 herbs. To the same five fruits/vegetables that the supermarket serves - when sorrounded by all the foreign delis packed to the ceiling with delicious options from all over.

No, no, of course I don’t want to eat! Yes, of course you can take my entire plate of food downstairs! I would love to clean all your dirty dishes and take it upstairs. No, really: I would.