#library worker

I work at a library. We do this thing where, every so often, we weed the collection. It hurts to see books go, but it's necessary to make sure there's room in the library for new materials.

I have seen so much support for the library in text, and I've seen folks pass around those beautiful "queer your library" flyers. Keep doing that. That's great. Nothing wrong with that. But you HAVE to turn your words into action. We MUST remember to actually go to our local organizations and libraries and actually, with our own fucking hands, interact with these materials we want to see more of.

My branch is medium-sized for a library, maybe a little small. We don't have as many materials as I'd like, but we have fundamentals. Tell me why, even with all the verbal support I've gotten from my local community for the library as a resource for our LGBT+ community, every single trans biography and a good chunk of our vaguely queer theory books were on the list. This isn't a scheme to take the books off the shelves, it isn't another bigoted American governmental push. The only thing we look at when we weed is how long it's been since the last time the item was checked out.

Three years.

No one in my community interacted in any meaningful way with the few books on trans life and history we physically had on the shelves for three fucking years.

I promise you the materials you want and need are there, but this isn't a horde. This isn't a static safety net. You have to use them. You MUST use them or, in the future, maybe in three years, they *won't* be there anymore.

And I go, "In a library? :O"

And they'll say something like, "Reading? In the library? Who could have heard of such a thing?"

And I can't lie.

Patron 1: "Oh priestess of the books, I am but a lowly worm in your holy presence. I loathe to take the space within your eyesight, though I must."

Me: "Oh, don't worry about it. How can I help you?"

Patron 1: "But it pains me greatly to divert you from thy divine tasks."

Me: "I am literally paid to help you here. That is literally my job."

- “why are you white?” (Idek what to say about this one, I responded I was born that way)

- “why are you wearing women’s shoes?” (I was wearing women’s boots but my feet are small, but I just responded “a guy can get a little fashionable sometimes”)

- “where do you live?” (I told them in the library and they went crazy)

- “what do you even do after this?” (Referring to story time, I told them I go to the library because I live there)

- “where is your mom?” (Referring to my coworker who is 3 years older than me who came with me during my first few story times to observe me and give me tips/feedback. I told them she’s the children’s librarian, and that she is actually only a few years older than me and that it is physically impossible for her to be my mom)

- “why do you have a rainbow pin on your lanyard?” (…..anyway)

- “how do i tell a girl i don’t like her if she likes me?” (I told them to be honest)

- “are you married?” (When I responded no they were like: okay 😒)

- “why is your jacket scary?” (It was a sort of grungy design with crosses on it, I responded that sometimes what some people find scary and unusual others find cool and comforting)

1. The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

2. The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus

3. I Want to Burn This Place Down by Maris Kreizman

4. Open Water by Caleb Nelson

5. The Hollow Half by Sarah Aziza

6. Islam without Extremes by Mustafa Akyol

Mr. Green argued that...

"...librarians must be more than mere guardians of books; they should be educators of the public and advocates of the library to the broader community."

Think of it like the human version of a Google search bar yet more empathetic and guiding. This technology is amazing yes, and it has made finding answers much easier and faster. However, the problem lies in its lack of caution and guidance to the undeveloped mind (and also the dangers of misinformation).

Such is the case, for example, when looking into matters of opinion. Google does not warn you of anything, it just spits out all the information and articles it can come up with regardless of truths and falsehoods hidden among those texts.

However, were one to inquire at a library, a librarian will be there, and in respect of his/her profession will follow Mr. Green's words:

"If a reader ask you for your own views regarding some matter about which there is controversy, give them to him if you choose. Decline to give them if you choose. Remind him, however, in either case, that if he wishes to have an opinion of his own, he must study the subject in its different aspects and form one for himself. Say gently to immature persons that they can not expect to have opinions upon profound controverted questions, and that they must wait until they grow in knowledge, and until their reasoning powers develop, before their views on such matters will be of value."

This, what I feel, is the problem with the modern query-type technology, whether they be search engines or AI-language models. As the algorithm relies heavily on what is "trending" (often manipulated behind the scenes), views and opinions that gain more traction are the only ones that enter the inquirer's circle.

Yes, with all this new technology, answers are found more quickly and efficiently, but this in turn has stunted the growth and development of individual minds to think, to investigate, to inquire for themselves, since all that is being done is "cramming".

"Avoid religiously the practice of cramming the minds of young inquirers with one-sided views in regard to questions in dispute."

As embarrassing as it is to admit, when I read Mr. Green's paper, I quite literally burst into tears. It felt like I was able to find a kindred soul, one that called to the ideals that dwelled deep in my heart, and at the same time, a loss at the realization that I was born much too late for his time. I would have loved a chance to meet him at least once.

Through his efforts and the fellow librarians of his time, they were able to reconnect the library to the hearts of the people, not just to the privileged, but to all those who are seeking answers in this life that is full of questions. Treating and answering each query with sympathy and enthusiasm, yet not too much as to impede individual thought and learning, giving them the freedom to inquire and find their own answers for themselves. That paper seemed to beckon and call upon all that I have always wished could be, and to find the same thought and the same ideals right here from minds centuries past quite literally brought me to tears. It felt like proof that my ideals aren't just “dreams” — they’re part of a much larger hope that has always existed.

Records are amazing... It’s like Mr. Green reached across time to say, “Yes, I see the world the way you do too.”

And I suppose that is why I have always wished to become one — a librarian, a keeper of the records... so that I may be able to share this wonderful feeling that can only be found through the timeless records of human minds with many others.

As this post would end up quite longer than I'd usually like, I'll end it here with with the same words as those of Mr. Green, but with a small addition of my own: