So my mom believes in a lot of conspiracies, and recently she’s found out about the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) and she’s starting to believe some interesting things she’s heard online.
Now I am a fucking NERD about particle accelerators, so in case any of you have heard about this and were maybe thinking it was true, I will try to go over. Some of the claims.
Conspiracies about CERN and the LHC have been around for a WHILE. Claims that the particle accelerator will create black holes, a portal to hell, or will brainwash the innocents of the world into brainless, manipulatable people.
At a surface level, this makes SOME sense. The LHC is a giant underground machine that the average person has no understanding of, how it works or what it does, and is being controlled by mysterious official scientific people. Prime conspiracy stuff!!!
However, the LHC cannot alter time. It just. It can’t. That’s simply not a function of it.
I’m not sure? How to disprove this??? Because I think in order to believe that it’s altering time, you already have to be in the sort of mental state where you truly are just chomping at the bit to believe anything you hear. But uh. Time altering tech does not exist yet!
The important thing here is. WHY WOULD YOU BE FEELING DIFFERENT THIS WEEK?
Thousands of people are coming forward now and saying they feel like time is moving faster, their life is better, their job is easier, they feel happy and refreshed. And right as the collider is turned off? Why would that be?
Well. Let’s use our critical thinking skills here.
First of all, after a few minutes of scrolling reddit and facebook, I’ve seen ALL sorts of claims. Many people say they’ve felt lighter and faster, but there have also been people complaining that they feel tired, their chronic illnesses are worse, they feel nauseated, ONE GUY JUST COMMENTED “MY BALLS FEEL WARM NOW,” NO JOKE, some people say they feel more zombie-like now than before it was on.
Not to mention, this is the LHC’s 3RD long maintenance shutdown in its history.
And remember, conspiracies about the LHC have existed for YEARS, since before it shut down in the first place.
This is not cause and effect. People ALREADY had ideas about this thing, and when CERN announced it would get turned off, of COURSE everyone wanted to use it as an excuse. “My pet died” “My parents divorced” “My tummy hurts” “My boss gave me a promotion”
Think about it. How many people get sick every day? How many people have a GOOD day every day? Out of 8 billion people, is it THAT crazy that some people just. Had a good week this week?
It’s a placebo effect. People want to believe the LHC has something to do with it when it does not.
I don’t live in Europe or anywhere near this thing. I wouldn’t even KNOW about this stupid shit if my mom didn’t believe in it. But please, make sure you know what your parents are taking in online, especially if they’re elderly or under your care specifically.
